Sheri’s Ranch Announces New “Sex Menu”

Ever wonder what goes on at a brothel? (Apparently, lots of girls going down.) Sheri’s Ranch, a legal brothel 63 miles outside Las Vegas in Parhump, Nevada, just launched a new “sex menu” of appetizing activities. The brothel, which calls itself a “sex resort and spa”, notes that the latest trend is that more women and couples are coming to Sheri’s for weekend “sex vacays.”

“Why go to an illegal escort while you’re in the Las Vegas area?” they ask, when the threesomes, foursomes, and “moresomes” at this place are totally legal. Here’s what on the menu:

THE “NUNU MASSAGE”

A great way to “relax.” Popular in Japanese bathhouses, “Nunu is a wet massage where you and your courtesan are fully nude in the bathtub. A slippery gel is heated and generously applied. Your masseuse then glides her glistening naked body over yours, creating a unique tactile sensation that is startlingly arousing”, and ends with a happy ending.

THE PSE (THE PORN STAR EXPERIENCE)

“Incredible perverse positions” are included in this option, as well as “outrageous antics” that will have you having sex like a porn star. Or with a porn star, as the Ranch hosts visiting ex porn-stars for people who get to have porn star sex with the porn stars they used to only get to watch.

THE “A LA CARTE MENU

Choose from “Classic Cunnilingus” for bi-sexual or gay ladies, or “Couple’s Cunnilingus” where a “Courtesan” goes down on your girlfriend or wife while you get to watch. If you want to jump in there’s a Threesome option, “Classic Fellatio”, “Half & Half” (B.J. and intercourse), BDSM including spanking, bondage, foot fetish, or whatever other freak flag stuff you want to fly. There’s even a “cross dressing” option for dudes who want to dress up. (They’ll even do you hair.)

And since there’s always a revolving door of dozens of girls there, you can order up group sex with as many people as you want, or have them stage a “Roman Orgy.” A “vacation” you’ll never forget.

THE GFE (GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE)

This one is for lonely, bored, (or married) guys who want to pretend they have a new girlfriend for the night. “Are you looking for a girlfriend for the evening?” asks Sheri. “Sheri’s stunning courtesans provide the most sensuous and intimate GFE in the Las Vegas area. Our ladies provide empathy, tenderness, conversation, and intimate lovemaking in a discreet, lush setting.” No “Sorry, I have a headache” at this place. Guys can even go back and ask for the same girl to be his “steady girlfriend.”

“For the most immersive GFE offered,” they suggest “Ask your courtesan about our VIP bungalows.” Check out the “Hippie 60’s bungalow”, the ‘Arabian Nights” bungalow, and the “King Arthur” bungalow with a real suit of armour here.

And in the time honored tradition of brothels of the Wild West, Sheri’s begins with the “line-up” where you can pick your (gorgeous, btw) new “girlfriend.”

Photos from Sheri’s Ranch.

 

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Anka Radakovich is a legendary Sex Columnist, Certified Sexologist, Sex Therapist, Sex Educator, Screenwriter, and Author of the new book THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, PART 2, Tales from New York to Hollywood. THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, Part 2 is her third book. Her first two books, The Wild Girls Club; Tales from below the Belt, and Sexplorations; Journeys to the Erogenous Frontier were both published by Crown/Random House. She was the Sex Columnist for DETAILS Magazine for 9 years and is currently a Sex Columnist for BRITISH GQ and writes the weekly "Ask Anka"/"Sexual Healing" column for Brides.com. Her writing has appeared in dozens of magazines including Marie Claire, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Harper’s Bazaar, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Men's Journal, Seventeen, Glamour, and Maxim. She has appeared on numerous television shows including 8 appearances with Conan O’Brien. She was a Jeopardy question under the category “Men’s Mags.” As a Sex Educator and Sexologist, she is a college lecturer at Universities throughout the country who offers her unique brand of sex education. Follow her on Twitter @ankarad.

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