Tuesday, June 18, 2024

Tantric Sex for Braingasms, Kundalini and More!

Tantric Sex & Brain Chemistry

Tantra is an enormous topic with many facets, but I’ve learned over the years that there are a few elements that are easy to understand and are immediately helpful.

Margot Anand, best-selling author of The Art of Everyday Ecstasy, describes the power of Tantra this way, “Truly, at the peak of orgasm, we pierce through the illusion of fragmentation and separation, and glimpse the unity and interconnectedness of all beings. And through the other–our partner–we fall in love with life.”

Tantric sex has a rejuvenating effect. It affects brain chemistry by igniting the endocrine glands for more HGH, serotonin, DHEA, testosterone and oxytocin. (For a more thorough overview of the various brain chemicals at work, please see Chapter Three, BrainGasm: Understanding the Science of Love & Sex). Tantra can also improves sexual health, and
many scientific studies point to physical benefits such as stimulated blood circulation, body detoxification, and strengthened cardiovascular, endocrine, immune and nervous functions.

What Tantra Is

Many people are unclear about what Tantra is and what it is not. Tantra is not a religion, a sexual cult, a new age spiritual philosophy, exhibitionism, swinging or sex therapy. And there are different kinds of Tantra including White Tantra, which directs energy to expand our spiritual awareness (His Holiness the Dalai Lama practices White Tantra), but you can also practice White Tantra while meditating or doing yoga with your partner. Black Tantra is the opposite as it directs energy to manipulate another person sexually. But we are going to focus on Red Tantra, which directs energy between two lovers that include our thoughts, feelings, physical and sexual actions. Tantra is a Sanskrit word that means “to weave energy”, defined by the Yin (feminine) and Yang (masculine) energy between two partners.

Kundalini Energy

The sexual energy is often referred to as Kundalini energy that is very powerful and can be used:

♥ For a couple to heal a hurt relationship.
♥ For women, Tantra can empower and fulfill their sensual needs.
♥ For men, it can open up a whole new world to intimacy and it can give them the tools to become multi-orgasmic.
♥ For couples, it’s also an opportunity to create a more meaningful and intimate connection.
♥ Mindful loving.
♥ An art.
♥ Sexual enlightenment.

A Brief History of Tantra

About 5,000 years ago, Lord Shiva’s followers developed 112 methods of meditation,
through which one could enter the state of super-consciousness. Some of them included the act of sex. Lord Shiva’s symbol, the Lingam (“the wand of light”) represents the penis and rests in a Yoni (“the sacred place”) that represents the vagina. Very simply explained, the entire path of Tantra is the harmonious union of the masculine and feminine principles in all of us.

Yin and Yang

Like most forces throughout the world, light and dark, hot and cold, wet and dry, positive and negative, there are two essential principles to lovemaking: yin and yang. Yin means feminine and Yang means masculine.

We all have yin and yang attributes and qualities. It would be easy to say that all men are sexual, strong and assertive and all women are sensual, sensitive and submissive, but we know that’s not true. Lots of women are sexual, strong and assertive and many men are
sensual, sensitive and enjoy being submissive. A healthy person has a combination of yin and yang attributes and qualities, and looks for someone to complement them, not complete them.

To experience the full enjoyment of Tantric lovemaking, the male and female forces must be balanced in harmony. For example, deep kissing and tender kissing is a perfect combination of yin and yang.

Let’s face it, if you only kissed your partner tenderly, it would become boring, predictable and lack sexuality. On the other hand, if you only kissed your partner deeply, you would probably have sore lips and get bored with that, too.

“We will make love an art and we will love like artists.”– Marianne Williamson

We don’t always need a big production when it comes to lovemaking, but we do need
to be prepared for Tantric sex. When you and your partner have the right ambience, you
will have a greater opportunity to enjoy a fulfilling and romantic sexual experience.

One of the best ways to set the mood for love is to incorporate all five of your senses in your lovemaking. If you don’t utilize even one of your senses, you deprive yourself of 20%
of the pleasure! That’s why it’s best to prepare something to enhance all five of your senses prior to your lovemaking session.

The 6 Tantra Secrets to Bliss-gasms & Ecstatic Sex

Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

What is Tantra?

Want to learn the 6 Tantra Secrets to Bliss-gasms & Ecstatic Sex? Of course you do!

Well read on. You’re welcome! 😉

Tantra goes all the way back to the ancient language of Sanskrit which is originally from India and offers sensual and enlightening terminology. Tantra is an ancient yoga-like tradition originating in India that trains one in the ways of weaving and transforming sexual energy into altered states and awakening to enlightenment, thus carrying sexuality to unfathomable heights and depths.

The beginnings of Tantra goes back as far as 1500 BC; its writings concentrated on philosophical issues and ritualistic teachings such as the well known Kama Sutra, a sexual manual from the 14th century. The term “sanskrit” is derived from “samskrta” which means “adorned, cultivated, perfected”. Sanskrit has been maintained as the literary language of the priestly, learned and cultivated castes of India.

The 6 Tantra Secrets or Elements

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

There are 6 Tantra Secrets or elements of Tantra that are used to create an orgasmic dance. These include: Breath, Intention, Attention, Sound, Movement and Muscle Locks.

“Achieving Tantric Bliss (gasms) through the six elements of Tantra will take your relationship to a whole new physical, emotional, and spiritual level.”

Here’s an opportunity for you to enjoy the quest for enlightenment together and become one with the Universe through mutual orgasms!

1. Tantra Secrets to Sex Through Breath

There are 6 elements (or Tantra secrets) in Tantra, beginning with the power of breath.

Breath regulates and relaxes the body so that it can heal. Breath can lower blood pressure. Breathing into the area of dysfunction can increase blood circulation. Breath elevates the immune and refreshes the lymphatic system. Breath is the essence of life and there is no better way to energize the body than to increase your intake of oxygen.

Our lungs can hold 6 pints of oxygen, but most people only inhale 2 pints or less. In Tantra the word Prana means energy. Breathing is about energizing your mind, body and soul. Breathing in through the mouth produces an energy charge and breathing out of the mouth releases emotions. When a person cries, they have to breathe through their mouth.

When you are sexually excited your breathing increases so if you want to delay your climax, you must slow down your normal breathing pattern. Breathing in unison with your partner can create a deeper form of unity. Synchronized breathing with your lover gives you the opportunity to connect on a conscious level, a respiratory level and breath to breath level resulting in a harmonious bonding experience.

In the following interactive breath exercises, you will learn how to control your breath and how to synchronize it with your lover so that you can make lovemaking last longer. You will find that you can connect on a deeper level of consciousness and experience harmonious bonding through breath. Breathing together is an essential element to experiencing Tantric bliss.

Tantra Breath Exercises

Tantra SecretsBreath can add variety to your lovemaking by blowing your cool breath (with pursed lips) up and down your lover’s spine, on the inside of the thighs, along the crack in the buttocks, on wet testicles and on the vulva lips.

Alternatively, warm breath (with mouth open) can be deliciously arousing. For Hot Breath, choose one of your lover’s Chakras and blow your hot breath through your open mouth for 2 minutes as you caress your lover.

For Synchronized Breathing, face each other and hold hands. Breathe in and out through your mouth at the same time for 2 minutes.

To practice Kissing Breath, hold each other, close your eyes, and share the same breath through deep kissing for 2 minutes.

2. Tantra Secrets to Sex Through Intention

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

Where intention goes, energy flows. And without intention there can be no follow through. Intention is about enjoying the journey as much as the destination, to relax the mind and body reducing your stress hormones in the process.

Verbalize: Verbalize your intention for yourself to your partner. Let him/her know what your short term and long term intentions are for your pleasure and the relationship itself. Then put your hand on their heart chakra and tell them how you propose to have a deeper heart connection with them. As you do this, maintain eye contact.

Write it Down: You can also write down your intentions and give them to your partner so they can remind you of your intentions when you are not keeping them. Share your relationship mission statement with your partner and include where you want to see your relationship in the next 12 months.

Exchange Wishes: Make a wish list of 3 things that will heighten your relationship and exchange the list. Take action steps to make at least one of your partner’s wishes come true each week!

Share 3 strengths in your relationship. Then tell your lover 1 weakness and how you intend to turn it into strength.

3. Tantra Secrets to Sex Through Attention

Attention is the follow through to Intention. Attention is being 100% present for your partner.

Finish this sentence, “I want you to pay more attention to my…” Then show your lover how you want them to pay more attention to that part of your body.

Eye Gazing Technique

Tantra SecretsThe eyes are the mirrors of your soul. Look into your partner’s soul for a deeper heart connection. Create emotional support so you can create trust, soothe nerves and enhance relaxation. Where the attention goes, energy flows.

Decide who will be the receiver and who will be the giver. The giver asks permission to look into his/her eyes by saying, “May I come in?” The receiver replies, “Yes” and allows the giver to look deeply into his/her soul. The receiver must open up the door and allow his/her partner to look inside and see the real you. Then the receiver becomes the giver. Discuss what you saw and how it felt when looking into each other’s soul.

4. Tantra Secrets to Sex Through Sound

Sound is like an inner massage; cells in your body respond to vibrations and release energy. Sound vibration heals the body, mind, and spirit.

Music and words have power to decrease pain. Laughter helps blood vessels expand in order to increase blood flow.

You can breakthrough inhibitions by releasing sounds and words. Sound releases energy and during lovemaking sounds release sexual energy and allows the orgasmic energy to flow through you for a full body orgasm. If you hold back the sounds you feel inside, it will manifest in resentment, anger and eventually pain. So for your own good health (and orgasms!), give yourself permission to express yourself through words and sounds and sigh, cry, shout or laugh when you need to, especially during sex!

When it comes to making love, sounds let your partner know that you are having a great time. Encourage your lover through words of praise, exhale sounds of ecstasy when you feel them and let the sounds of sex express your lovemaking.

Entraining Exercise

Entraining is when two people make the same sounds at the same time. For example, start by humming with your partner and emulate each other, then make up your own melody and let your partner follow. Feel how much of your body resonates. The deeper the humming, the more vibration your body will feel.

5. Tantra Secrets to Sex Through Movement

Lack of movement can leave your body feeling tight and stiff. It also restricts energy flow and can block your emotions. Even when you visualize part of your body moving, you are creating physiological sensations. How amazing is that?

Take turns receiving loving caresses and kisses from your active partner. When you are really truly giving you are also receiving the feeling.

To experience the full enjoyment of Tantric lovemaking, the male (Yang) and female (Yin) forces must be balanced in harmony. Yin and yang corresponds to the divine feminine and masculine spiritual life force energies in everyone, not male or female gender specifically.

Tantric Kissing

Tantra Secrets
Photo by We-Vibe WOW Tech on Unsplash

For example, deep kissing and tender kissing is a perfect combination of yin and yang. Let’s face it, if you only kissed your lover tenderly, it would become boring, predictable, and lack excitement. On the other hand if you only kissed your lover deeply, you would probably have sore lips and get bored with that, too.

Tantric kissing is when you face your lover and moisten each other’s eyebrows, then lean into each other with brows touching. Feel the energy flow from one to the other uniting the two of you into a higher level of consciousness and kiss gently at first as you slowly build up to adding more pressure.

The Power of Touch

Rub your hands together and feel the warm energy as you slowly bring them apart. Put your hands against your partners hand and feel their heat. The energy of touch promotes blood flow, boosts the immune system, nurtures and arouses so don’t forget to incorporate different kinds of touch with your lover including:

  • A Healing Touch like a scalp rub
  • A Romantic Touch like a hug
  • A Seductive Touch like a kiss
  • An Intimate Touch like a sensual massage is an excellent way to fuse your energies
  • A Sexual Touch like oral sex
  • An Erotic Touch like finding the G-spot or the Prostate gland
  • And finally, an Orgasmic Touch by having sex in one of your favorite sexual positions.

The Best Tantric Sex Position

Tantra Secrets sex positions

The “Yab-Yum” is an ancient Sanskrit term which defines the classical, heart-to-heart position of Tantric lovemaking. In this position, both partners are seated upright, with the woman on top of the man (cowgirl style). The main consideration is that the spine must be relatively straight so that the spinal energy of the Kundalini (sexual force) can travel unimpeded and a cosmic circuit can be created between lovers.

When a couple comes into union consciously, they move their energy simultaneously. The Yab-Yum position draws the partners into an “auric egg” or circle on eternal union. The Auric Egg is an energy field created by a man and woman in the Yab-Yum position of lovemaking, in which both partners are sitting upright and creating a circle of energy that flows evenly up and down their spines.

Tantra Secrets to Sex Through Muscle Locks

Bandhas are muscle locks used to cleanse and energize the body and organs.

A common type of bandha in Tantra are kegels, which restore muscle tone, as well as increase length of orgasm, and separates orgasm from ejaculation in men.

The pubecocous muscle (Pubo- Cock -ssih- Gee-ous) or PC muscle is the support muscle for the genitals in both men and women. There is a correlation between good tone in the PC muscle and orgasmic intensity and control. Squeezing and releasing the PC muscle during kegels using repetition helps increase blood flow to the genitals, increases awareness of feelings in the genitals, restores genital muscle tone and control over orgasm, strengthens the penis, while increasing duration and orgasmic pleasure during the sexual experience.

To identify the PC muscle you urinate then stop the flow of urine mid-flow. Women can also insert their finger inside the vagina to feel the inside walls as they contract and relax. Look at your genitals in a mirror and watch them contracting.

Simultaneous Orgasms

Achieving simultaneous orgasms with your partner is like doing the Tango. It’s a sensual dance made for two people working together, communicating with their bodies and responding to each other’s movements.

The PC muscle control raises a woman’s libido, makes her wetter and more turned on, while at the same time, teaches men how to last longer before orgasm (or ejaculation).

Tantric Erogenous Zones

Photo by Ava Sol on Unsplash

The male and female sex organs in Tantra are called lingam (penis) which means “wand of light” and the yoni (vulva and vagina) which translates to “sacred space”.

The Goddess Spot is an area of female genitalia is better known as the G-Spot which was named after Ernest Grafenberg who first clinically identified it in the early 1950s. It is the fleshy area in the vaginal wall, right behind the pubic bone and between the opening of the urethra and the cervix. It swells when stimulated, and creates a heightened energy response in women. In some women, female ejaculation may happen, or Amrita – which means “nectar of the Gods”. It is the female ejaculatory fluid that flows from the urethra of some women during orgasm. Some people believe this fluid to have mystical powers; ancient tribes used it to make healing balms and aphrodisiacs.

The Million Dollar Point is the hollow point in the perineum (between the anus and the scrotum) that, when pressed firmly, will block the outward flow of the seminal fluids. It is said that when this technique is used properly, the man will “feel like a million dollars”. Pressing into this area with the pads of your fingertips also stimulates the male prostate glans and can result in non-ejaculatory full body orgasms in men. Men can train themselves to have longer, more full bodied orgasms, using Tantric methods, as well as help overcome premature ejaculation and erectile issues.

Maṇipadme, is a term meaning “The jewel in the lotus” which is a significant eastern expression referring to penis (jewel) inside the many folds of the lotus (vagina). The language of lovemaking!

Take Away

As you learn more about Tantra, there are some important things to keep in mind. Be open to exploring new sexual territory, enjoy the journey of sex, allow yourself to be vulnerable, don’t judge, and most of all – have fun!

Featured Photo by Dainis Graveris on SexualAlphahttps://sexualalpha.com/

Tantric Gspot Pleasure & Female Ejaculation

The Goddess Spot

“The illusive G-spot is definitely not a myth but a treasure, which when explored can result in a deeper, longer orgasm.”–Dr. Ava Cadell

The G-spot has many fun phrases associated with it; great-spot, glory-spot, go-ahead spot-but I like to call it the Goddess spot. It is located inside the woman’s vagina about a third of the way, in between the vaginal/Yoni opening and the cervix. The G-spot has a ridged texture to it and responds to gentle stroking. In many women, once properly stimulated, it can provide a very powerful orgasm. It also may produce an ejaculation (an expulsion of milky looking fluid) which they refer to as Amrita or ‘divine nectar’ in Tantric terms.

The individual differences and responses to G-spot stimulation are so varied that women should not feel pressured into finding their G-spot. However, if you decide to embark on this quest, consider it a treasure hunt. You may or may not find the treasure you expected, but the hunt can be a great source of adventure and personal knowledge. Many women have reported that they have difficulty locating and stimulating the G-spot by themselves, but they have no difficulty identifying the erotic sensation when a partner stimulates the spot.

Exploring the G-Spot

Gynecologist Ernest Grafenberg, who published research results about sexual pleasure being derived from the urethra, first identified the G-spot area. Dr. Beverly Whipple did further research on G-spot orgasms. The results are available in her book The G-spot and Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality by Dell Publishers. She indicates the G-spot area swells when stimulated and may lead to orgasm. Some women claim that the G-spot can be a longer, deeper, more powerful orgasm than a Pearl/clitoral orgasm.

For most women, stimulation of the 8000 nerve fibers of the Pearl/clitoris, especially by a talented tongue, results in orgasm. Then there are those who swear the G-spot orgasm is the ultimate orgasm.

The illusive G-spot is definitely not a myth but a treasure, which when explored can result in a deeper, longer orgasm. Some women are even capable of ejaculating from it.

Stimulating your Lover’s G-Spot

1. Have your lover empty her bladder before you start in order to lessen the possible feeling of needing to urinate.

2. Both of you should get into comfortable position; preferably with the woman on her
back with her pelvis raised by a pillow.

3. Put your thumb on her pubic mound or Pearl/clitoris and insert the middle or forefinger
of your hand, palm up, in a “come hither” motion inside the vagina.

4. Push gently in the outer third of the Yoni’s top region, between the opening and the cervix. When you touch a small, ridged patch area, the woman may feel sensitive as if she needs to urinate.

5. If her bladder is empty, the sensitive feeling will pass and be replaced with intense, pleasurable feelings.

6. For more pressure, use any combination of the other fingers.

7. Use long, linear strokes creating an energetic circuit between your thumb and your finger.

8. Picture a clock-face on the inside of her Yoni, and stroke with your finger from 6 o’clock to 12 o’clock.

9. Alternatively, imagine your fingers are a “windshield wiper,” and stimulate the G-spot moving your fingers from side to side.

10. Now, put your thumb above the pubic bone (with your fingers inside the Yoni) to stimulate the G-spot from inside and outside simultaneously.

11. Tap the G-spot area with your finger/s towards her navel in pulsating motions.

12. Ask her to make a mental note which movements pleasure her most.

The G-spot can also be reached using a specially designed vibrator or by making love in certain sacred sexual positions.

G-Spot Sacred Sexual Union

Don’t make love in the same position, in the same place, at the same time. Be daring; spontaneous!

Your partner will love you for it!

1. In the Missionary position, the woman can rest her feet on her lover’s shoulders. This allows for maximum stimulation of the back wall of the Yoni and thus potential stimulation of the G-spot.

2. The alternative to the ‘Woman On Top’ position is for the woman to face away from her partner. This way, the whole of the Yoni is stimulated, and the woman herself can decide where she wants to receive maximum stimulation.

3. The rear entry alternative is for the man to lay his whole body along the woman’s. In this position, the entire Yoni is stimulated, but attention is concentrated on the upper part of the front wall, which means there is relatively good stimulation of the G-spot.

4. An alternative to the standing position is for you and your partner to face one another with the woman lying back. In this position, the front wall of the Yoni is stimulated, and good contact with the G-spot is made.

The Venus Butterfly

The Venus Butterfly is an ancient lovemaking technique first practiced in India 3000 years ago. It allows the male to bring his lover to a high peak of ecstasy by simultaneously stimulating two centers of pleasure at the same time.

Directions on How to Perform the Venus Butterfly

1. Pull back your lover’s clitoral hood.

2. Stimulate the Pearl/clitoris with short and long strokes using your tongue, fingers or vibrator until the woman reaches a level 8 on a pleasure scale of 0 to 10 with 10 being the point of no return; orgasm.

3. Move away from the Pearl/clitoris and stimulate the entire outside of the Yoni in circular motions with your tongue, finger or vibrator, allowing her arousal level to lower by a couple of points.

4. Return to Pearl stimulation as above using short and long strokes until the woman reaches a 9 on the pleasure scale.

5. Slip your finger/s, palm up, inside the Yoni and tap on the G-spot towards the navel.

6. Continue to stroke the Pearl/clitoris while tapping the G-spot with your finger/s or use a G-spot vibrator.

7. Combining clitoral and G-spot stimulation may result in multiple orgasms.

8. Practice the Venus Butterfly technique and exchange feedback.

Dr. Ava’s TriGasm

How do You Achieve a Trigasm? I have been teaching the combination of simultaneous G-spot and Pearl/clitoral stimulation for several years. Couples loved it. Women got some serious attention–learning how to climax internally and externally at the same time, and men felt like they were heroes. So, here’s the revolution, the ultimate technique in orgasmic potential for women: The TriGasm.

A TriGasm is the result of arousing the 3 points of pleasure, the Pearl/clitoris, G-spot and Rosebud/anus simultaneously. Many people are experienced with various forms of dual stimulation–a Lingam and a toy, a tongue and a finger, and other combinations.

Here are some tips for you as you go off on your Trigasm exploration. Begin setting the mood and prepare to stimulate all five senses. Be creative using sensual sound, visual arousal, and feeling your lovers heat. You should also have some lubricant nearby, especially for G-spot and anal play. The final tip tell your lover to take up juggling, because it’s going to take some coordination to master this technique, but it’s well worth the effort and mighty fun while learning!

Here is the ideal way to create 3 points of stimulation with a lover.

1. The woman should lie back while her lover lavishes her Pearl with oral pleasure until she
has reached a level 8 on a pleasure scale of 1 to 10. (10 equals orgasm.)

2. Change course and stimulate her vulva in small circles with the tongue or fingers for 2 minutes.

3. Return to the Pearl and orally increase her level of pleasure to a 9; almost to the point of no return.

4. At this peak, he should insert his forefinger palm up into her Yoni and find her G-spot, then tap, tap, tap it gently towards her navel.

5. Simultaneously with step four, he must stimulate her Rosebud/anus gently with a
feather, his pinky or a vibrator to bring his lover to a mind-blowing, earth shattering, energy-melting multiple orgasm.

Her Tantric Pleasure: Female Ejaculation

Female ejaculation has been documented in ancient Asia for many thousands of years. Here in the Western world scientists are finally accepting it as a reality and women of all ages are enjoying the experience of ejaculating during orgasm. I believe that every woman can ejaculate if she is stimulated correctly and if she knows how to control her PC muscles.

It’s estimated that less than 10% of women ejaculate, or at least admit to it. In Tantra, female ejaculation is called, Amrita, which means Nectar of the Gods. Some women who experience ejaculation admit that the feeling is like an intense orgasmic release; much stronger and longer than a clitoral orgasm. Female ejaculation can be attained with stimulation of the G-spot, the spongy area located inside the Yoni about two inches on the upper wall towards the navel.

Always empty your bladder first so that the ejaculation doesn’t have any urine in it. The ejaculate fluid is protein based (much like semen) but it’s thinner and of course it doesn’t have any sperm. In summary, female ejaculation is a normal natural occurrence, so why not try it? You might like it!

Female Oral Delights

A woman is more sensitive so begin with less pressure than you would like, as a man.

1. Kiss and lick the inside of her thighs to create sexual anticipation.

2. Explore the entire vulva (outside of the Yoni) with circular tongue motions.

3. Suck on her labia (Yoni lips) gently.

4. Lavish her Yoni with your tongue in long lapping motions from her Yoni opening to her Pearl/clitoris.

5. Use a pointy tongue all around the Pearl/clitoris but not directly on it.

6. Write numbers on her entire vulva area with your tongue, then the alphabet.

7. Slip one or two fingers inside her Yoni as you gently lick her Pearl.

8. Use a stiff tongue to lick her Pearl from side to side.

9. Make humming sounds with your lips so they vibrate as you kiss the Pearl/clitoris.

10. Stroke her perenium (between the Rosebud/anus and Yoni opening) while sucking gently on her Pearl/clitoris.

11. Never rub or insert anything sugary in a woman’s Yoni because it can cause infection.

12. Draw her closer by lifting her buttocks and kissing her Yoni just as you would her mouth.

13. Alternate pressure with your tongue as you lick long and short strokes from the Rosebud to the Pearl.

14. Insert a fingertip into her Rosebud/anus as you lick her Pearl.

15. Gently pull her labia majora apart (outside lips) and lick the labia minora (inside lips) with the tip of your tongue.

16. Nuzzle your face in her mound and brush your lips and nose over her Pearl.

17. Insert your tongue into her Yoni opening with quick pointy motions.

18. Flick your tongue over Pearl alternating from up and down and side to side.

19. When she is on the verge of orgasm, make your lips into an O and take her Pearl in your mouth sucking gently.

20. Insert one or two fingers and discover her G-spot while licking her Pearl.

21. Lick her entire vulva like an ice cream cone with lapping motions.

22. Use your tongue like a snake sliding and twisting it inside her slowly, then fast.

23. Suck on some ice before licking her Yoni for a cool sensation.

24. Drink some hot liquid and then suck and twirl your hot tongue over her.

25. Don’t change the rhythm of your motion when she is climaxing.

26. Don’t stop immediately after she has climaxed. Keep going until she stops you, then cup your hands over her Yoni with fingers facing the navel.

27. Ask her how and where she wants you to lick, kiss and suck her. Tell her to direct you.

28. Orally delight her Yoni while she is lying on her stomach.

29. Orally delight her Yoni while she is in the tigress position from the rear.

30. Tell her that you love honoring her Yoni orally because she tastes and smells delicious.

Remember that practice… practice… practice makes perfect!


Excerpt from Dr. Ava’s Tantra Workbook

Tantric Prostate Massage & Trigasms for Penis Owners

Men have a hot spot too. It is the prostate gland, which can be excited by massage. Prostate massage may arouse your lover to new levels of intimate pleasure because the area of the Rosebud/anus is surrounded with sensitive nerve endings.

Before doing prostate massage, you may need to have a latex glove or finger cots available, and you’ll certainly want plenty of lubricant. I call the prostate his ‘Hero spot’, because it takes a hero to be adventurous, secure in his masculinity and trusting with his
partner in order to embark on Hero Spot exploration.

Hero Spot/Prostate Massage

The prostate can be effectively stimulated by the insertion of a finger or vibrator into your lover’s Rosebud/anus and rectum.

1. Lubricate your finger, or a finger cover, and insert one or two fingers, palm up, in a “come hither” motion inside his anus.

2. Apply a light pressure either tapping or stroking towards the perineum. Ask your lover what feels best. Some men say their pleasure zone is just one knuckle inside the anus; others are deeper. Levels of pleasurable response vary with each individual.

3. Be sure to ask your lover how he likes to be stroked, including what kind of pressure and motions feel best.

4. Ask him to share his feelings of pleasure, anticipation and concern and if he would like to try it again.

For example, he might say:
Before, “I’ve never done this before,” or “I’m afraid your fingernails will hurt.”
During, “I feel vulnerable,” or “Don’t stop!”
After, “That felt better than anything I ever could have imagined,” or “That felt really good.”

TriGasm for Men

The TriGasm for Men It is the result of stiimulating 3 points of pleasure; the Lingam/penis, the Jewels/testicles and the Rosebud/anus simultaneously.

1. The man should lie back while his lover lavishes the head of his Lingam with some suction until he reaches a level 8 on a pleasure scale of 1 to 10.

2. She should then use her mouth and tongue to stimulate his Jewels for 2 minutes.

3. Return to the Lingam and orally increase his level of pleasure to a 9.5 (almost to the point of no return).

4. At this peak, fondle his Jewels, continue to orally delight his Lingam and insert a forefinger palm up into his Rosebud to find his Hero Spot then tap, tap tap it gently. If all goes well, he’ll have an unforgettable, mind-blowing TriGasm.

Orgasm vs. Ejaculation

For men, the art of staying relaxed in high states of arousal actually gives more energy to orgasm. A man can have a full body orgasm without ejaculation. Practicing lovemaking without ejaculation can give increased pleasure, which may result in multiple orgasms. During these exercises, it is important to find your point of “inevitability” for ejaculation. Practice these exercises for separating your orgasm from ejaculation with and without, your lover.

1. Lie down on your back and ask your lover to begin a genital caress with her
hands or mouth.

2. You are now going to do a series of low-level pleasuring peaks on the pleasure scale of 0 to 10, with 10 being orgasm.

3. Give her feedback so she knows when to slow down or intensify her caresses.

4. Switch positions with your lover now lying on her back with her legs in the air slightly bent. In the Missionary position, reach a series of peaks while having Maithuna/intercourse.

5. Start with slow penetration and peak up to a level 5 on the pleasure scale and back off by squeezing your PC muscle.

6. Peak to level 6 and back off by squeezing the PC muscle. Slow down your breathing and open your eyes. Release sexual energy through your throat Chakra.

7. Repeat as above to level 7.

8. Repeat as above to level 8.

9. Repeat as above to level 9.

10. Thrust all the way up to just before the point of no return at level 9.5.

11. Both lovers should stop moving, the male lover squeezing his PC muscle as hard as he can. Synchronize your breathing, open your eyes and focus on each other with the intention to prolong lovemaking.

12. If you stopped thrusting in time, you will have experienced an orgasm without ejaculation.


Excerpt from Dr. Ava’s Tantra Workbook

Tantric: Lingam Worship & Pleasure Techniques for Penis Owners

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When a man has his Lingam worshiped by his lover, he feels a deep emotional and physical connection towards her. The gratification he gets enables him to surrender himself to her
female Goddess power.

Lingam Love Strokes

1. The Secret to Moving His Sexual Energy: You can direct sexual energy from his genital area to other body parts, particularly the heart Chakra, to create more of a connection. While stroking his Lingam with your right hand, move your left hand up the center of his body to his heart.

2. The X Stroke: Move your right hand over his right hip across his Lingam to his left nipple like a giant ‘X’. Then move your left hand over his left hip across his Lingam to his right nipple in a fluid motion.

3. Spiraling the Stalk: Both hands go in opposite directions in a corkscrew motion over the Lingam. One hand twists up while the other hand twists downwards. Make sure you use some lubricant or massage oil.

4. Blended Bliss: Stroke his Lingam with your prominent hand and stimulate his prostate externally by sliding your fist back and forth over the perineum. Make sure you use some lubricant or massage oil.

5. Making the Fire: Rub his Lingam with both hands as if rubbing a stick to make a fire. Make sure you use some lubricant or massage oil.

6. The Thousand Yoni Stroke: Rub his Lingam from the top to the bottom covering the glans (head) and sliding your hands down to the base with one hand after another in a fluid motion. Make sure you use some lubricant or massage oil. This will give him the erotic sensation of entering a thousand different Yonis.

Male Oral Delights for Her to Give Him

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If you suffer from the ‘gag reflex’, leave your tongue outside of your mouth, then suck and lick his Lingam.

1. Get into a comfortable position so that you don’t get a sore back or neck and put his buttocks on a pillow for easy access.

2. Put his Lingam inside of your cheeks to avoid ‘gag reflex’, then suck and lick his Lingam.

3. Always use your hands as an extension of your mouth.

4. Try to keep eye contact with your lover.

5. Pump his Lingam up by squeezing it in the palm of your hand.

6. Use the tip of your tongue from side to side across his urethral opening.

7. His frenulum deserves extra licking, kissing and gentle sucking.

8. Wrap your lips tightly around his glans (head) and use plenty of suction.

9. Flick your tongue around his coronal ridge (around the base of the glans).

10. Lick and lap his raphe with the flat of your tongue (underside/seam of his penis).

11. Change your rhythm from long, slow sucking to short, fast, milking action.

12. Shake and wiggle his Lingam in your mouth.

13. Hold the base tight while making spiral motions around the glans.

14. Gently tug his scrotum while sucking him from the shaft to the glans.

15. Push on his perenium (between the Rosebud and the Jewels) while sucking.

16. Put your finger (palm up) inside his mouth, while giving him oral love.

17. Stroke his ‘Hero Spot’ (just inside the Rosebud) while sucking.

18. For ‘deep throating’ keep your head back and let him straddle you.

19. Stimulate his glans with your index finger while you are sucking.

20. Suck on an ice cube prior to oral love.

21. Drink some hot liquid prior to oral love.

22. Make humming sounds during oral love for some extra vibration.

23. Rub fruits and juices on his Lingam and lick them off.

24. Put his Lingam between your Pillows of Compassion/breasts (cleavage fornication) for variety.

25. Wrap beads around his Jewels tugging gently while sucking.

26. Stroke his Lingam lovingly with your hair and
your face.

27. Gargle with mouthwash or suck on a mint prior to oral love for a tingle.

28. Don’t change your rhythm just before he climaxes unless he asks you to!

29. Ask him how he wants to be sucked; gently, hard, slow, fast, deep…

30. Enthusiasm is more important than technique!


Excerpt from Dr. Ava’s Tantra Workbook


Tantric Attention: Focused Techniques to Awaken Desire

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In Tantra, “Attention” is the follow through of “Intention” because where the attention goes, energy glows. Attention is all about being 100% present for your lover. Attention is also about focusing intently on their pleasure and sharing your emotions with each other. In the following interactive exercises you will learn how to look into your lover’s soul, and how to make love with your full focus. Attention is an essential element to experiencing Tantric bliss.

Give your lover the full attention that they deserve.

Attention Exercises with your Lover:

1. Buttocks: Caress and feather your lover’s buttocks around the crease where the buttocks and upper leg meet with a feather or your hair.

2. Feet: Massage your lovers feet with a feather, fingers, tongue or hair.

3. Toes: Blindfold your lover and kiss his/her feet. Suck on the toes as if you were kissing him/her on the mouth.

4. Thighs: Blindfold your lover and tickle the inside of your lover’s thighs with a feather, your hair or fingernails.

5. Knees: Lick behind your lover’s knees.

6. Buttocks Contact: Sit astride your lover’s back so that your Lingam or Yoni is in contact with the buttocks and rub your genitals gently over it.

7. Fingers: Massage, kiss and suck on and in between your lover’s fingers.

8. Stomach: Rub your Yoni or Lingam against your lover’s stomach.

9. Lips: Suck on your lover’s bottom lip, and then explore your lover’s mouth with your tongue.

10. Attention: Finish this sentence, “I want you to pay more attention to my…”.

11. I Want: Pay attention as I show you how and where I want to be worshiped.”

12. The TriGasm: Stimulate her Pearl, G-spot and Rosebud simultaneously using your tongue, finger, feather or Lingam for at least 6 minutes. Then stimulate his Lingam, Jewels and Hero Spot simultaneoulsy.

13. Polishing the Pearl: Lift the clitoral hood up over her Pearl and make circular motions around it (not on it) with your tongue for at least 4 minutes.

14. Kiss Her Yoni: Kiss your woman by focusing your energy on her outer and inner Yoni lips. Explore the area around her Pearl (clitoris) for 2 minutes.

15. Penis Bliss: Stroke his Lingam with your prominent hand and stimulate his Hero Spot, Rosebud and Jewels externally by sliding your knuckles back and forth over the perineum (landing strip between the Rosebud/anus and testicles). Use plenty of lube or oil and ask for verbal feedback from your man. Do this for 3 minutes.

16. Find her G-spot: Ask your woman for permission to enter her Yoni. Then gently insert your ring finger inside one and a half to two inches. Curl your finger in a “come here” motion so that you can easily locate her G-spot. It is located on the upper vaginal wall before you get to the cervix. It will feel like a small area (about the size of a dime) with ridges on it, much like the roof of your you have found it, slowly, tap, tap, tap your finger
up towards her navel as you stimulate her G-spot. Ask your lover for verbal feedback. Do this for 6 minutes and use plenty of lubricant.

10. The Venus Butterfly: Orally stimulate the Pearl until your lover is on the verge of orgasm, and then find her G-spot simultaneously. Ask her for feedback. Use lubricant if necessary.

11. Goddess Waterfall: Starting very gently, run the tip of your tongue with varying degrees of firmness like running water down one side of her outer lips from the clitoral hood to her perineum. Then tap your tongue down the same side from the hood to the perineum like the pitter-patter of mist drops in a waterfall. Exhale warmly around the outside of her Yoni as you make sounds of pleasure to convey to her how much you are enjoying honoring her.

12. Godly Waterfall: Run the tip of your tongue with varying firmness like running water up one side of the Lingam from the base to the tip and then bring your fingertips down the other side from the tip to the base like the pitter patter of mist drops in a waterfall.

Paying Attention to Your Lover

Focus on listening to your lover the next time he/she speaks to you and acknowledge what he/she said in your own words. Give your lover a Tantric massage by focusing only on his/her pleasure. Then exchange roles. When making love, keep your eyes open and look into your lovers soul. Pay attention to your lover’s needs and be 100% present when he/she needs you.


Excerpt from Dr. Ava’s Tantra Workbook

Sexy Sounds: Aural Sex Tantric Style

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Tantric Sounds

Sound releases energy and during lovemaking, sounds release sexual energy. Sound will also amplify sensation, as the sound waves vibrate throughout the body. If you hold back the sounds you feel inside, it will manifest into inhibitions, resentments and anger. So for your own good health, give yourself permission to express yourself through words, sounds, sighs, cries, shouts and laughter.

In the following interactive sound exercises you will learn how to communicate through humming, the sounds of sex and how to articulate your sexual wants, needs and fears. Sound is an essential element to experiencing Tantric bliss.

Making love without sound is like watching a movie on mute.

The Sound of Your Chakras

Each Chakra has its own sound and when you chant the matching sound or Mantra, you will energize, empower and open each Chakra. Make it a ritual to ‘voice activate’ each of your Chakras every day. This exercise should be done facing your lover. Synchronize your chanting for at least five minutes.

Root: Place your hand upon your perineum (the strip between the Rosebud/anus and the Jewels/testicles on men and the strip between the Rosebud/anus and the Yoni/vagina on women). Squeeze your sphincter mus- cles and chant ‘Lam, Lam, Lam, Lam.’

Sacral: Place your hand over your sacral (sexual organs) and as you chant, squeeze your Love Muscles/ PC muscles (the muscle you use to stop the flow of urine) and chant ‘Vam, Vam, Vam, Vam’.

Solar Plexus: Place your hand over your navel. Inhale and exhale feeling your belly expand and chant Ram, ‘Ram, Ram, Ram.’

Heart: Place your hand over your heart and chant ‘Yam, Yam, Yam, Yam’.

Throat: Place your hand around your throat and chant ‘Ham, Ham, Ham, Ham’.

Third Eye: Place your hand in between your eyebrows and chant ‘Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh’.

Crown: Place your hand on top of your head and chant ‘Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm’.

Creative Visualization

This time place your prominent hand over your lovers Chakras, chant the matching sound while visualizing the color of the Chakra with your eyes closed.

Chakra Sound/Mantra
Solar Plexus
Third Eye


Tantric Colors & Visualizations

Root: Visualize a deep red color. Red represents physical strength, vitality and stability.

Sacral: Visualize a bright orange color. Orange is associated with warm creative energy that nourishes us.

Solar Plexus: Visualize a golden yellow color. Yellow stimulates the emotions and enhances our power within.

Heart: Visualize a crisp, green color. Green represents life, nourishment, balance and harmony.

Throat: Visualize a sky blue color. Blue is associated with peace, calm, confidence and clarity.

Third Eye: Visualize an indigo color. Indigos’ deep color represents positive, intuitive strength.

Crown: Visualize a violet color. Violet is the regal color of your higher power and it represents acceptance and understanding of the Universe.

Sound Exercises with your Lover

1. Mmm: Tell your lover what sounds you want to hear during lovemaking.

2. Yes: Tell your lover what words you want to hear during lovemaking.

3. Oooh: Pretend you are building up to having a climax and make those sounds for your lover to hear.

4. Turn-on: Tell your lover 2 of your greatest turn-ons.

5. Turn-off: Tell your lover 1 sexual turnoff.

6. Fantasy: Whisper a sexual fantasy that you have in your lover’s ear.

7. Blend: Hold each other, close your eyes and blend the sounds of love for 2 minutes.

8. My Body: Tell your lover what parts of your body you love the most.

9. Position: Tell your lover your favorite sexual position and why.

10. Worship: Ask your lover how he/she wants to be worshiped and then comply.

11. Lover’s Appreciation: Exchange a physical, an appreciative and an emotional compliment with each other. (An emotional compliment is one that let’s your lover know that they are making a difference in your life and it makes the heart sing).

12. Name that Yoni/Lingam: Name each other’s genitals in a way that honors your lover’s sacred sexuality. If they already have a name, give them a new nickname.

13. Tantric Lovemaking: Get into Yab Yum position or Missionary position and simulate the movements and sounds of making love. Use moans, whispers, panting, giggling, growling and heavy breathing. This can be done dressed or naked.

14. Happy Sighs: Get into Yab Yum position or Missionary position and hold each other cheek to cheek, then sigh gently, lovingly into each other’s ears for 2 minutes. Express yourselves through the sound of your sighs and the touch of your bodies only.

15. Yoni/Lingam Talk: If your Lingam or Yoni could talk, what would it say? Have a conversation between the Lingam and Yoni to discuss what you want sexually from each other.

16. Sexual Hum: Put your mouth over one of your lover’s erogenous zones; navel, breasts, buttocks, Lingam or Yoni; their choice. Make sensual humming sounds combined with breathing for 2 minutes. Let him/her feel the vibrations of your sexual energy.

17. Share a Fantasy: Start telling your lover about a sexual fantasy that you have, and after 2 minutes your lover must finish the fantasy.

18. Memorable Erotica: Look at your lover and finish this sentence: “The most memorable erotic experience that I have ever had with you was when we….”

19. Significance: Ask your lover to name 3 of the most significant times in your relationship. Then share your most significant times with your lover.

20. Lovable: Tell your lover what makes him/her so lovable for at least 2 minutes. Then it’s his/her turn to tell you what makes you so lovable.

21. Rate your Erogenous Zones: Blindfold your lover and then kiss 4 major erogenous zones (such as lips, ears, nipples, Yoni, Lingam, testicles). Ask your lover to rate them from 1 to 10 with 10 being the most pleasurable. Do this for 2 minutes.

22. Finger Licking Good: Blindfold your lover. Suck on each one of his/her fingers in slow motion. Make the kinds of sounds you would make when you are enjoying a delicious meal. Feel free to exaggerate with slurps and sensual noises.

Sing Like No-one Is Listening!

Hum to yourself every day, say words you find embarrassing out loud, sing like no-one is listening, make love without restraining your sounds.

Chant OHM (for the crown Chakra to open), AH (for the heart Chakra to open) and HOM (for the sex Chakra to open). This chant will unite these physical areas.

Practice asking your lover for what you need, compliment your lover and praise him/her when they do something you enjoy. Don’t hold back resentments, communicate hurt feelings and create closure with your lover.


Excerpt from Dr. Ava’s Tantra Workbook

Tantra Sex Positions & Movement for Tantric Bliss

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The lack of movement can leave your body feeling tight and tired. It also restricts energy flow and can block emotions; especially sexual ones. Even when you visualize parts of your body moving, you are creating physiological sensations.

In the following interactive exercises you will experience moving different parts of your body with your lover. The physical connection will be different than the standard lovemaking positions you may have experienced in the past. Some of the movements will be playful, while others will be spiritual or sexual. Movement is an essential element to reaching Tantric bliss.

Movement Exercises with your Lover

1. Pelvic Circles: Do circles with your pelvis while standing facing your lover for 2 minutes. Play music if you like.

2. Finger Talk: Touch each other’s face in slow motion with fingertips and communicate only through your eyes and fingers for 2 minutes.

3. Tantric Dance: Hold each other close and move your entire bodies, but not your feet for 2 minutes (add music if you like).

4. Tantric Hug: Put your arms around each other, bury your head in each others neck and press your bodies together for 2 minutes.

5. Tantric Kiss: Press your bodies together and kiss passionately for 2 minutes.

6. Eyelid Kiss: Lick your lover’s eyelids and kiss his/her eyelids tenderly.

7. Dominate: Dominate your lover by holding him/her down and kiss and caress him/her wherever you want to.

8. Striptease: Do a striptease for your lover and take off two pieces of clothing.

9. Feather: Use the feather on your own body and show your lover where it turns you on the most.

10. Rock the Cradle: Get into Yab Yum position or kneel in front of each other. Embrace. Breathe together, eye-gaze and rock your pelvis back and forth together at the same time. As you breathe in, the belly fills up and you both rock back. The belly expands from breath. As you exhale you rock towards each other. Do this exercise for 2 minutes.

11. Sensate Focus: Take turns showing your lover how you want to be touched on your face and neck. Now your lover should emulate the same touches that you just showed him/her. Give each other verbal feedback (you may use a feather or a blindfold to heighten this experience). Do ‘Sensate Focus’ for 2 minutes. Add music if you like.

12. Surrender: Take turns receiving loving caresses and kisses from your lover for 2 minutes.

13. Body Worship: Worship your lover’s body by caressing him/her with the feather or your hair followed by baby kisses. Both of you should make sounds of love and move in unison to the rhythm of your foreplay.

14. Yin Yang Kissing: Decide who will be Yin and who will be Yang. The Yang (active lover) has to explore with his/her tongue the Yin’s mouth (receptive lover) until he/she has kissed for at least 2 minutes. Then exchange roles for 2 more minutes.

15. Hand Dancing: Rub your (own) hands together and feel the warm energy as you slowly bring them apart, then put your hands against your lover’s hands and feel the heat/energy as you hand dance together. Decide who will be Yin (follower) and who will be Yang (initiator). Yin must follow Yang’s movements, keep your hands pressed up against each others for 1 minute, and then Yang must follow Yin’s movements for 1 minute.

16. Standing Cradle Rock: Stand in front of your lover with hands on hips, feet pointing ahead. Bend knees slightly and rock your pelvis cradle (back and forth) in slow motion. Go in circles, then side to side for 2 minutes simultaneously. Have fun with this and play music.

17. The Pelvis Roll: This is a variation on the ‘Missionary’ position with the man on his knees while his lover raises her knees and rests her feet on his chest. The woman has her arms and hands free to caress herself or her man. During penetration, she can roll her pelvis up and down so that his Lingam can stimulate her G-spot. The woman must surrender herself to complete and utter Tantric pleasure. Use lubricant if necessary.

18. The Swooping Goddess: This is a variation on the ‘Woman On Top’ position. She is on top with her feet on the bed or ground and her toes pointed for extra elevation. The woman needs to have strong legs for this position because she is doing all the thrusting (swooping) down on her man while he lays back, surrenders and receives. Her hands are free to caress herself or her man. Use lubricant if necessary.

19. The Crouching Tigress: This is a variation on the rear entry position. The woman gets on all fours and crouches like a wild cat with her buttocks raised high, while her man presses his lower body against her on his knees. He has the freedom to hold onto her buttocks, hips or waist. This position gives the man complete power to penetrate his lover. If the strokes are too deep and fast it may cause her discomfort, so to enhance the pleasure for both man and woman, he should thrust his Lingam into her Yoni ever so slowly and then work up to a more rapid penetration as and when she desires it. Use lubricant if necessary.

20. Enhanced Tantric Kiss: Get into Yam Yum Position. Begin your kiss by tracing the outline of your lover’s lips. Then take your lover’s bottom lip between the two of yours and suck gently. Next, wrap your lips around your lover’s tongue and suck on it with passion. Finally get a cube of ice and put it in your mouth as you kiss your lover. Continue to kiss until the ice has melted. This exercise is even more fun during Maithuna/intercourse.

21. Sixty Nine: Decide who will be Yang (on top) and who will be Yin (on bottom) and get into the classic sixty nine position. The woman gently tugs her man’s scrotum while sucking his Lingam from the base to the glans (head) changing her rhythm to long, slow sucking to short, fast milking motions. Simultaneously, the man nuzzles his face into his woman’s Yoni and licks her labia and Pearl/clitoris while stroking her perineum (between the Rosebud/anus and the Yoni opening) for at least 5 minutes.

22. Animals: Get into an animal pose with your lover and make the sounds and movements of your chosen animal. You can be a snake and slither all over your lover, a monkey who playfully explores his/her lover, a cat who snuggles, or any other animal you choose. Play with each other for 2 minutes and guess what animal your lover chose.

23. Musical Instrument: Imagine you are a musician, choose an instrument, and play a rhythm on your lover’s body for 2 minutes. You can play a concerto up and down your lover’s body, stand them up and pretend to play the cello or just get down and dirty with your lover’s flute. The choice is yours.

Connect Each Day

Hold hands, hug your lover every day. Cuddle at bedtime. Stretch your body, take a walk at least once a week and dance whenever possible with your lover. Caress your own body, discover your own erogenous zones, then do the same with your lover and ask him/her to rate their erogenous zones from 1-10.

Excerpt from: Dr. Ava’s Tantra Workbook

Advanced Tantric Breathwork for Lovers

Breath is Life

Breath is the essence of life and there is no better way to energize the body than to increase your intake of oxygen. Breathing in through the mouth produces an energy charge and breathing out of the mouth releases emotions. That’s why when a person cries, they have to breathe through their mouth.

Nostril breathing holds in the energy charge and it enhances sexual control. In the following interactive breath exercises, you will learn how to control your breath and how to synchronize it with your lover so that you can make lovemaking last longer. You will find that you can connect on a deeper level of consciousness and experience harmonious bonding through breath. Breathing together is an essential element to experiencing
Tantric bliss.

When you are sexually excited, your breathing increases naturally. Consequently, you have less control over your orgasm. Many people want lovemaking to last longer. Several methods have been devised to assist you in prolonging the pleasures and intimacy of sex. The following exercises will help move your sexual energy throughout your body; not just localize it in the genitals.

Tantric Breath

Breath Exercises with Your Lover

*While these exercises are written in He/She pronouns and Man/Woman genders, any couple can do these techniques together regardless of sexual orientation and gender to include GLBTQ+ couples and non-binary individuals. Regardless of gender, we all have both masculine and feminine energies (Yin/Yang) that are more prominent at different times.

Synchronized Breath: Face each other. Hold hands, breathe in and out through the mouth at the same time for 2 minutes.

Alternate Breathing: Face each other. Hold hands and breathe in through your nose and exhale through the mouth in slow motion for 2 minutes.

Kissing Breath: Hold each other, eyes closed, and share the same breath through deep kissing for 2 minutes.

Erogenous Breath: Blow your cool breath with lips pursed around and onto your lover’s nipples for 2 minutes.

Hot Breath: Choose one of your lover’s Chakras and blow your hot breath through your open mouth for 2 minutes as you caress your lover.

Hum Breath: Face each other and hum every time you breath out for 2 minutes.

Toe Breath: Exhale your cool breath in between your lover’s toes. All of them.

Auditory Breath: Suck on your lover’s ear lobes and breathe gently in his/her ears.

Spine Breath: Ask your lover to lie down on his/her stomach and blow your cool breath up your lover’s spine all the way to his/her neck and back down over the buttocks. Nudity required.

Neck Breath: Blow cool and hot breath (mouth pursed and open) on and around your lover’s neck; front and back.

Yin Yang Breath: Alternate Breathing. Face your lover in Yab Yum position. Decide who will be Yin (receiver) and who will be Yang (giver) to start. Yin should breathe in through the nose, as Yang exhales through the mouth for 2 minutes. Then switch roles for 2 more minutes. Maintain eye contact as you do this.

Hot and Cold Breath: Choose one of your lover’s Chakras and blow your cool breath from your mouth through pursed lips on to it, then your warm breath (through an open mouth) with your lips apart. Alternate your hot and cool breath on your lover for 2 minutes.

Control Breath: Face each other, kneeling or sitting with legs over each other, whichever is most comfortable for you both. Now simultaneously take a deep breath filling up and expanding your bellies. Hold that breath for 5 seconds, then exhale from the throat releasing a gentle sighing sound. Do this for 2 minutes and maintain eye-contact with each other.

Synchronized Breathing: Face your lover; kneeling or sitting with legs over each other, which ever is most comfortable for you both. Breathe in at the same time, then breathe out together in slow motion for 2 minutes. Maintain eye-contact as you do this.

Nostril Breathing: Face your lover. The woman should breathe through her right nostril (for one minute) while blocking the left nostril. The man should breathe through his left nostril while blocking the right one for 1 minute, then alternate for the 2nd minute.

Charging Breath: Get into Yab Yum position. Inhale and exhale through your nose using the pumping action of your abdominal muscles to force the exhalation. The emphasis should be on the exhalation. Breathe in through the nostrils and release your breath through your nostrils and pump your abdominal muscles at the same time. Do this for 2 minutes.

Hearing Breath: Get into Yab Yum position, and breathe gently, sighing behind your lover’s earlobes for 2 minutes in unison. Be careful not to use excess sound around the ears because they can be highly sensitive.

Cannon Breath: Sit back to back with Chakras aligned and say, “As we do this breath, I honor you.” Then inhale one long deep breath (through the nose and exhale through the mouth) as if it were shooting out of cannon for 2 minutes. If either of you become lightheaded during this exercise, communicate to your lover that you need to stop. This is a good alternative to arguing.

Lingam Yoni Breath: For this intimate breath, the woman needs to get into a traditional ‘Woman On Top’ sexual Maithuna/intercourse position. She is the Yang (masculine) force so she is the initiator. Now both man and woman should start breathing in and out together. Fill up your bellies as you inhale and collapse your bellies as you exhale. This can be done during intercourse or without penetration. The choice is yours.

Heart Beat: Put your arms around your lover and rest one of your ears on his/her heart Chakra. Listen to the soothing sound of the heart beat and the sound of your lover’s breath for 2 minutes. Tell your lover what you heard and how it made you feel.

Neck Massage: Massage your lover’s neck with your hands and follow each stroke with your breath. Do this for 2 minutes.

Yoni Lingam Breath: Get into the traditional sixty-nine position. The woman should blow her cool breath around the Lingam, Jewels, perineum (testicles and the landing strip between from testicles to anus) while the man blows his warm breath around her Yoni, (not inside the Yoni) around the Rosebud/anus and up and down the perineum. Do this for 2 minutes minimum.

Abdominal Breathing

Abdominal breathing exercises can help relax the pelvic region and prolong the level of sexual excitement in masturbation and lovemaking. The purpose of this exercise is to develop awareness of your body while practicing relaxed breathing. By experiencing specific body movements coordinated with deep breathing you will learn how to continue deep breathing while engaged in sexual activity.

1. Commence abdominal breathing by lying on the floor or a bed with arms at your side and legs uncrossed.

2. Close your eyes and begin breathing slowly. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth.

3. Place one hand gently on your lower abdomen and focus on the movement of your stomach as you breathe. The goal is to develop comfortable and relaxed breathing in the pelvic region.

4. Continue abdominal breathing and as you inhale, turn your right foot out to the side. As you exhale, turn your right foot back up so the toes point up toward the ceiling. Do this six times and then switch to the left foot.

5. Repeat the above exercise sequence again, first with the right foot then with the left. Watch and help each other to do the abdominal breathing.

Pelvic Breathing

The purpose of pelvic breathing is to help coordinate pelvic movement with breathing during lovemaking. Remember, the power of breath controls both the male and female orgasms.

1. Lie on your back, on the floor or bed, with your arms at your sides and your legs uncrossed.

2. Breathe slowly, using abdominal breathing for a few minutes to establish your rhythm.

3. As you inhale, press your buttocks toward the floor and fill your abdomen with air.

4. As you exhale, imagine that your pubic bone is being drawn towards the ceiling by a magnet.

5. Your pelvis will slowly tilt up as you exhale.

6. Repeat this at least ten times. It is important to have the pelvis tilt backward on the inhalation and tilt forward on the exhalation.

7. Do the same exercise kneeling with your hands flat on the floor in front of you. Watch and help each other to do the pelvic breathing.

Make A Commitment

Make a commitment to take long deep breaths while you are doing every day activities, such as driving, watching TV, reading reports, taking a bath and so on. When you are stressed out, inhale 4 breaths then exhale 4 breaths (‘Stress Breath’). When you are upset, inhale one long deep breath and then exhale it with force as if it were shooting out of a canon (‘Canon Breath’). When you are angry, inhale 4 breaths and then stick your
tongue out as you exhale with force (‘Dragon Breath’). It will make you laugh and you’ll forget what you were angry about. When you make love, slow down your normal breathing pattern because the faster the breath flows, the faster the orgasm.


Excerpt from Dr. Ava’s Tantra Workbook

Tantric Kissing to Re-ignite Passion & Keep the Juices Flowing

A sexy kiss can be one of the most erotic exchanges between lovers. A kiss is often the first intimate physical contact with a new lover and some people believe they can tell a lot about a person’s lovemaking skills by the way they kiss. Some people can reach orgasm through kissing alone.

Not wanting to be kissed by your lover is a signal of trouble in the relationship. Making kissing a daily ritual will embolden and re-ignite passion in your relationship and keep the juices flowing. There are many different kinds of kisses: slow, quick, deep, wet, hard, soft, breathy, and then there is Tantric kissing. Kiss your lover at least twice a day and experiment with the different kinds of kisses from below.

Tantric Kissing Techniques

Eye brow kissing: Face your lover in Yab Yum position, either ‘Woman On Top’ or man on top, moisten each other’s eyebrows and then lean into each other with brows touching. Touch lips and feel the energy flow from one to the other uniting the two of you into a higher level of consciousness.

Yin Yang kissing: Take turns kissing each other tenderly and then deeply, alternate back to tender and back to deep for 2 minutes. This will create the weaving of the Yin and Yang energy that you and your lover can both experience simultaneously.

Synchronized kissing: Embrace in your favorite lovemaking position with Lingam and Yoni touching, but not inserted. With your lips slightly open and touching, inhale together gently and exhale together, sharing and synchronizing the same breath.

Orgasmic kissing: In a loving face-to-face Maithuna/intercourse position with Lingam inserted into Yoni, lock lips, eye-gaze and take turns inhaling and exhaling alternately. Share the deep level of intimacy and feel your lover’s sexual breath enter your body and spirit.

More Tantric Kissing Tips

1. Build sexual anticipation by kissing all around your lover’s face with soft, baby kisses and use your hands to caress the face, hair or body.

2. Use your nose to nuzzle and your lips to caress to your lover.

3. Tease your lover by tracing the outline of your his or her lips with the tip of your tongue.

4. Now put your heart and body into a slow kiss alternating the pressure from gentle to deep with mouth slightly open.

5. Take your lover’s bottom lip between yours and suck gently. Vocalize some sounds of pleasure.

6. Take turns licking your lover’s upper and lower teeth with your tongue. Then alternate.

7. Wrap your lips around your lover’s tongue and suck passionately alternating your speed from slow to quick.

8. Explore the inside of your lover’s mouth with your tongue by running it in small and large circles. Alternate.

9. Dart your tongue in and out of your lover’s mouth rapidly and then slowly. Remember to use your entire body and make all those wonderful sounds of love.

10. Use hot or cold liquids to create new kissing sensibilities.