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Featured - The Best Sex Education Articles for Adults

Sexpert.com has the Best Sex Education Articles for Adults from an expert line up of certified sex experts.

Top sex education for adults featured posts and sexuality articles from our sex experts, sex coaches on everything from female orgasms, sexual pleasure, alternative lifestyle topics, couples sex advice and dating advice, masturbation and sexual empowerment, sexual health and wellness including men’s sexual problems like premature ejaculation and how to last longer in the bedroom.

Our Sex Ed featured articles include all the tips and techniques you need to know to make you a better lover such as the ultimate guide to anal sex, BDSM and kinky sex, oral sex, how to have the best orgasms, sexual relationship topics on how to spice up your love life, as well as female sexual anatomy and the erogenous zones including the clitoris, the cervix and cervical orgasm, all about the g spot, female ejaculation and g spot orgasms, the vagina and the vulva, penis facts and more.

Sexpert.com is an all-inclusive sex education site for adults and has many empowering articles on gender and sexuality, as well as articles for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender, sissies, and alternative lifestyles including cuckold and hotwife relationships, threesomes, polyamory and swinging. See our sacred sexuality topics including Tantra sex, yoni yoga, sexy goddess rituals, energy orgasms and more.

Explore sexpert articles from our top sex educators including Dr. Ava Cadell, Erika, Jordan, Anka Radakovich, Domina Doll, Carrie Borillo, Ralph Greco, Sunny Megatron, Tatyannah King, Dr. Hernando Chaves, Elle Chase, Debra Shade, Holly Bradshaw, and many more.

Sex and Happiness

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Sex and happiness, what qualifies as happiness or happy sex? Well, happiness is in the eyes of the beholder. You have to stop and think about what makes you happy. First you need to be happy with yourself. Do not rely on others to make you happy. Happiness starts with you. Do not worry, happiness can be as simple as a smile.

When you smile, you are bringing happiness into your life. A smile is also known to be contagious. When you smile, you are putting forth confidence, a better state of mind. Researchers have found that people who smile are attractive.

Whereas, the complete opposite for the non-smiling people, they were considered less attractive. Not only did all sexes think smilers are attractive, but they were also very drawn to them. One of the first things most guys notice is the smile on your face.

There is something to be said that happy people have happy sex. If sex is consensual and the people are into each other, it is almost always a winning combination.

You might be thinking, how much sex does one need to be happy? When this subject was studied, researchers found that one time a week was very satisfying for both parties.

Another interesting fact was that people had an appreciation with life. There were more “positive emotions” for all involved when experiencing sex once a week. The researchers found a decrease in depression could free up space for the happy emotions.

In this same study, when considering sex more than one time a week, surprisingly, an increase in sex did not make them happier.  What was found out was that increasing your sex level could actually make the sex less good, hence making the enjoyment level decrease, thereby lowering the happiness level in their life.

The time in a relationship can play a role in one’s happiness too, and vice versa. When the relationship is new, every touch can make you smile with added anticipation, thereby making the experience a full-on occurrence of unadulterated joy.

Photo by Jared Sluyter on Unsplash

In the chart below we are looking at ways to achieve better sex. Keep in mind, these tips are different for all and some you may prefer more than others.

Obviously, if you do not like one of these helpful tips, it is not going to make you happy. So, do not do it. Age does play a role in what might help you to have a better sex life.

11 Ways To Help Yourself To A Better Sex Life

  • Educate Yourself
  • Give Yourself Time
  • Use Lubrication
  • Maintain Physical affection
  • Practice Touching
  • Try Different Positions
  • Write Down Your Fantasies
  • Do Kegel Exercises
  • Try To Relax
  • Use A Vibrator
  • Do Not Give Up
  • From: Harvard Health Publishing, Harvard Medical School,11 Ways To Help Yourself To A Better Sex Life (March 5, 2024)

This next chart looks at ways to make you happy daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly. You might be asking, why should I incorporate this into my schedule? Because happy people attract similar things to their life, you want to be around happy people.

How to Be Happy: 27 Habits to Add to Your Routine

Daily Habits

  • Smile
  • Exercise
  • Get Plenty Of Sleep
  • Eat With Mood In Mind
  • Practice Gratitude
  • Give A Compliment
  • Breathe Deeply
  • Acknowledge The Unhappy Moments
  • Keep A Journal
  • Face Stress Head-On
  • Avoid Comparing Yourself To Others

Weekly Habits

  • Declutter
  • See Friends
  • Plan Your Week
  • Ditch Your Phone
  • Get Into Nature
  • Explore Meditation
  • Consider Therapy
  • Find A Self-Care Ritual

Monthly Habits

  • Give Back
  • Take Yourself Out
  • Create A Thought List

Yearly Habits

  • Take Time To Reflect
  • Plan A Trip
  • Let Go Of Grudges
  • Take Care Of Your Body
  • Reevaluate Your Goals
  • From: Healthline, How to Be Happy: 27 Habits to Add to Your Routine (March 10, 2023)

Psychology Today (February 2, 2023) came up with 12 Predictors of a Satisfying Sex Life. This list combines good sex and a happy self to equal the ingredients to a happy sex life.

  • Happier Relationship. Sex is better when you and your partner are happy with your relationship
  • Better Sexual Communication. You and your partner talk about your wants and needs.
  • Less Pornography Consumption. Studies have shown that consuming pornography leads to lower sexual satisfaction, for the person viewing pornography and for their partner.
  • Frequent Hugging And Kissing. This is referred to as non-sexual physical intimacy and has been associated to more gratifying sex. Kissing and cuddling after sex leads to an afterglow, which in turn leads to a happier sex life.
  • Greater Intimacy. The feeling close to your partner is associated with greater sexual fulfillment.
  • More Frequent Sex. Having frequent sex once a week is a predictor of sexual satisfaction.
  • Variety. It is the spice of life. Having variety has also been shown to be important. Couples who enjoy different types of sex (intercourse, oral) have a greater appreciation of sex.
  • Equality In Sex Initiation. Keeping a level playing field when having sex. Sex should go both ways. Culture does play a role in this.
  • Compatibility. Couples with similar turn-offs and turn-ons (for example, delight in “talking dirty” during sex) are more satisfied than those who are of a different mind.
  • Healthy Sexual Function. Health problems having to do with sex like sexual dysfunction, pain during sex, or difficulty maintaining an erection, will lead to lower sexual satisfaction for both partners.
  • Consistent Orgasm. Having orgasm is “a significant predictor of a satisfying sex life” because of the positive effects on partner intimacy and trust.
  • Life Satisfaction. “A happy life and a happy sex life tend to go hand in hand.”
Photo by We-Vibe Toys on Unsplash

In conclusion, try to find out everything you can to allow yourself to have great sex, like eating healthy, exercise, toys. Then try to find out what makes you happy as a person. It will not happen overnight. Use the charts; they help set daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly goals for you to try to achieve. Finally, combine the two: a great you and a great sex life equals a happy and satisfying sex life. A happy sex life will happen if you have fun and always keep things consensual.

Revolutionizing Attachments with KlicLok: Enhancing Hismith Sex Machines

Photo from https://www.hismith.de

Revolutionizing Attachments with KlicLok: Enhancing Hismith Sex Machines

In the realm of intimate pleasure devices, stability and ease of use are paramount. Traditional quick connectors, while convenient, often fall short when it comes to preventing unwanted rotation during use. Enter KlicLok, a groundbreaking quick-connect system designed to solve this very issue. Exclusively used on Hismith sex machines, KlicLok’s innovative octagonal design and robust construction ensure that your attachments stay securely in place, delivering a superior experience. Here’s why KlicLok is set to revolutionize your pleasure.

1. No More Spinning Attachments

The primary advantage of KlicLok lies in its unique octagonal design. Unlike traditional round connectors that allow attachments to spin freely, KlicLok’s multi-sided structure locks attachments firmly in place. This feature is especially beneficial for sex machines, ensuring that attachments remain precisely oriented and stable during use, preventing any frustrating or potentially hazardous spinning.

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2. Ease of Use

Despite its enhanced stability, KlicLok doesn’t compromise on convenience. The system is designed for quick and effortless attachment and detachment. Users can connect their toys with a simple push, ensuring a secure fit without the need for additional tools or complicated mechanisms. This user-friendly design makes KlicLok accessible and straightforward, enhancing the overall experience.

3. Durability with 304L Stainless Steel

KlicLok is engineered from 304L stainless steel, renowned for its exceptional durability and corrosion resistance. This material choice ensures that KlicLok can withstand repeated use and cleaning without losing its structural integrity, making it a reliable choice for high-demand uses. The robust metal construction guarantees a long-lasting, hygienic connection that maintains its performance over time.

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4. Enhanced Safety

Safety is a crucial factor in any connection system. KlicLok’s secure attachment reduces the risk of accidents caused by spinning or wobbling toys. This is particularly important for sex machines where stability is critical to maintain control and comfort. By keeping the attachment firmly in place, KlicLok enhances user safety and confidence, allowing for a worry-free experience.

5. Improved Efficiency

With KlicLok, users can enjoy their devices more efficiently. The quick and secure connection means less downtime spent adjusting or re-attaching toys. This efficiency boost is invaluable in maintaining the flow and enjoyment of the experience. By minimizing disruptions, KlicLok allows users to focus on their pleasure, enhancing satisfaction and overall enjoyment.

In summary, KlicLok represents a significant advancement in quick connect technology, specifically designed for Hismith sex machines. Its octagonal shape ensures a stable, spin-free connection, and its 304L stainless steel construction guarantees durability and longevity. Easy to use, versatile, safe, and efficient, KlicLok is set to become the new standard for secure attachments in pleasure devices. Say goodbye to spinning toys and hello to KlicLok’s reliable performance!

5 Keys To Good Karma: Nurturing Positive Energy in Your Life

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Dr. Ava, the healer provides 5 keys to good karma and  nurturing positive energy in your life.  In a world increasingly guided by quick responses and actions, the philosophy of karma, which focuses on the energy we create and reciprocate in the universe, holds vital lessons for nurturing positivity in our lives. Karma, a concept rooted in several Eastern religions, emphasizes that every action influences the future, and understanding this can guide us toward more meaningful and balanced lives. Here are five key principles to fostering good karma:

Empathy and Understanding

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Embodying empathy is the cornerstone of generating good karma. It involves not just understanding others’ feelings and perspectives but actively acknowledging their experiences without judgment. This approach fosters compassion and minimizes conflicts, as it emphasizes shared human experiences over individual differences. By practicing empathy, one actively contributes to a positive, nurturing environment that benefits all.

Mindful Speech and Actions

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Every word and action has the potential to affect others. Mindful speech involves thinking before speaking, ensuring that your words are kind, necessary, and true. Similarly, mindful actions involve considering the consequences of your behaviors on others. This awareness helps in making decisions that promote positivity and avoid harm, thereby enhancing one’s karmic footprint.

Gratitude and Appreciation

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Expressing gratitude is a powerful way to cultivate good karma. Recognizing and appreciating the good in your life, as well as showing thanks to others, generates positivity. This not only improves your mood and outlook but also encourages others to act kindly, creating a cycle of generosity and appreciation that enhances the collective well-being.

 

 

 

 

Helping Others Selflessly

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Acts of selflessness enrich the giver and receiver alike. Whether it’s volunteering, providing emotional support, or assisting someone in need, selfless actions contribute to a positive karmic balance. These deeds need not be grand; even small, everyday acts of kindness can have a profound impact on others’ lives and, in turn, on your own karma.

 

Personal Growth and Self-Reflection

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Self-improvement is a vital aspect of good karma. Continuously striving to be a better person ensures that your actions and intentions remain positive. Self-reflection allows you to understand your motivations, correct your mistakes, and learn from your experiences. Engaging in activities that promote personal growth, such as meditation, reading, or learning new skills, also plays a significant role in evolving one’s spiritual and moral capacities.

By integrating these principles into daily life, we actively enhance our interactions and the quality of our engagements with the world. Good karma is not just about influencing the future; it’s about enriching the present moment and all the moments to follow, creating a ripple effect of positivity that extends beyond ourselves.

Breakup Coach Emmi Fortin Reveals Secrets!

Photo from: https://www.amazon.com/Who-Your-Red-Dress-Addiction-ebook

Breakup Coach Emmi Fortin Reveals Secrets!

High school teacher Emmi heads to the salsa club every week to escape her “adulting” life and get her dancing “fix.” But it’s more than just dancing that she is obsessed with. It is here that she meets Santiago, a charming man with a killer smile whom she falls recklessly in love with. They begin a romance and confusing entanglement where passion runs high each time they break up and get back together – over and over again.

Constantly feeling stressed, anxious, and depressed from the uncertainty of the situationship, Emmi feels like she’s going crazy. She hits the online dating apps hard in a frenzy to find “Mr. Right,” attempting to break away from her romance with Santiago for good.

It isn’t until Emmi’s solo trip to Spain that she discovers that the key to breaking her toxic love addiction lies within herself and that she holds the power to make the final decision about where her life will go.

If you have ever felt out of control, codependent, or lost after a relationship, this book is must-read.

Emmi not only draws you into her deeply intimate and vulnerable journey of healing and transformation as she fights to break free from an addictive cycle but also shares her radically honest and entertaining adventure stories along the way. Available on Amazon.com and audible.

The Wake Up from Your Breakup Coaching Program will show you how to implement the RED Process™ to:

  • MANAGE OVERWHELMING EMOTIONS with intention to better handle times when you are triggered by a person, place, situation, or memory.
  • Develop CLARITY about past relationships, what you want in future ones and HOW to create that.
  • TRANSFORM negative self-talk and limiting beliefs into personal STRENGTH and POWER to increase self-value and confidence.
  • CREATE A NEW PATH to control the direction of your own life and relationships to be in alignment with your core values.
  •  Establish healthy BOUNDARIES around past relationships, current, and future ones.
  • Create manageable ACTION STEPS for daily success and happiness through forward momentum.
  • Discover how you can use your heartache as an OPPORTUNITY for learning about your past patterns and how you can shift into new ones that better serve you.
  • Available on her website: https://www.emmifortin.com/

Watch my Ask the Expert video interview with Emmi Fortin, who answers my questions:

Photo by loveuniv.com
  • What is a breakup coach, and what got you into this work?
  • In your book Who Is Your Red Dress? One Woman’s Quest to Break Up with a Love Addiction, you showcase the emotional turmoil of a passionate yet tumultuous relationship. You refer to it as a love addiction; What does love addiction mean?
  • You describe your relationship with Santiago as a situationship. What is that and what are some signs people should be aware of?
  • What are the things that prevent people from being able to move on after a breakup, divorce, or toxic relationship?
  • How do you guide your clients through the challenging process of breaking free from love addiction or getting unstuck after a relationship ends?
  • Was writing your book, Who Is Your Red Dress? therapeutic for you? And would you recommend this process for other coaches or women going through a breakup?
  • In your memoir, you share many different dating experiences that you had. How might dating impact someone’s recovery from a breakup or a love addiction?
  • You describe a transformative solo trip to Spain as a crucial role in your healing and self-discovery. How do you heal on this journey and how can you help others from this experience?
  • How important is building your self-worth after a relationship ends? And how do you help your clients to be confidence?
  • What is your biggest piece of advice for someone who wants to know what their next steps should be when trying to heal and move on from a relationship?
  • On your website, you offer a free guide to discover the 3 problems that must be handled when a relationship ends. What are the solutions to those 3 problems?
  • You also offer a free consultation strategy session, so tell us a little bit about your unique methods for healing? 

https://www.loveuniv.com/ask-the-expert-with-emmi-fortin

Biird Unveils Silicone Dildos Boo & Bae

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Biird Unveils Silicone Dildos Boo & Bae, the newest collaboration between pleasure brand Biird and Jouissance Club.

Introducing Boo and Bae, the latest pleasure items brought to you by Biird in collaboration with Jouissance Club.

Designed to each offer a specific range of pleasure, Boo features a wider than usual yet not very long insertable part while Bae has a more slender but longer body. These particular characteristics allow for two very distinct pleasure experiences.

“The concept for Boo and Bae stemmed from my search for the perfect dildos. Despite having a sizable collection, I couldn’t find any that met my needs. It struck me that perhaps only men were behind the designs, resulting in either the perfect width but excessive length or the right length but too thin. It became clear: I needed to address this oversight,” – said Jüne Plã, The Jouissance Club Author.

Boo was designed to enjoy a wider, fuller penetration without the typical length that usually comes with a larger size dildo. This provides broader stimulation of the clitoral bulbs while avoiding any discomfort to the cervix.

Bae on the other hand is crafted for a deeper penetration without all too much width, making it perfect for those looking for depth without the stretch. This makes Bae excellently suited for anal play as well.

Crafted from Biird’s ultra soft medical-grade silicone and hand finished in an eye-catching splash pattern, both pleasure items come with their own velvet pouch with a Jouissance Club pattern embroidered as well as a Jouissance Club key chain.

For inquiries or product testing, contact [email protected].

 

Global Sound Orgasm Experience

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On May 15, 2024, at 8:00 AM EST, immerse yourself in an extraordinary GLOBAL Sound Orgasm Experience like no other. For just $5, you can purchase the link to gain access to our curated erotic song, “Sonic Flow,” intended to evoke sensations of pleasure, intimacy, and connection simultaneously.

Picture this: listeners from around the globe coming together at the same moment, united by the power of sound and shared experience. As the clock strikes 8:00 AM EST, we’ll press play on “Sonic Flow,” a captivating 7-minute, 23-second journey into bliss.

Whether you’re seeking to awaken your senses, deepen your connection with yourself or others, or simply indulge in a moment of pure sonic pleasure, this event promises to be an unforgettable experience.

To secure your spot in this global listening sensation, simply purchase the access link for $5 and mark your calendar for May 15, 2024, at 8:00 AM EST. Let’s come together, across continents and time zones, to revel in the beauty of music and the boundless possibilities of connection.

Don’t miss out on this unique opportunity to be part of something truly special. Reserve your spot now and prepare to be swept away by the magic of “Sonic Flow.”

Ask the Sexpert with Dr. Stephen Furlich

Photo taken from: https://www.drstephenfurlich.com/sex-talk

Dr. Stephen Furlich is a Best-Selling Author of Breakthrough Books that Shows Us How To Communicate Better!

Dr. Furlich was recently interviewed by One America News Network, has been published in numerous journals, including: Texas Speech Communication Journal, Kentucky Journal of Communication, The Florida Communication Journal, Journal of Applied Communication Research, Academic Exchange Quarterly, Journal of Integrated Social Sciences, and Journal of the Scholarship of Teaching and Learning.

I was fortunate to interview Dr. Stephen Furlich, a seasoned communication expert with over two decades of university-level teaching and research, has always delved beyond the ordinary to understand the essence of human interaction. Through diverse communication courses and innovative research endeavors, he’s explored how to foster better understanding among individuals. 

Dr. Furlich’s teaching philosophy prioritizes applying knowledge to everyday life, both personally and professionally. His unique communication approach centers on appreciating both the speaker’s and listener’s viewpoints, particularly as differences emerge between them. Passionate about leveraging scientific progress to unravel communication intricacies, he’s inspired by the intersection of technology and understanding. This curiosity led him to pen “Sex Talk,” an exploration uniting diverse scientific studies to illuminate biology’s role in gender communication. 

Photo taken from:
https://www.drstephenfurlich.com/

Here are some of the questions that I asked Dr. Furlich:

  1. Can you provide insight into how you think the intersection of biology and communication impacts society’s understanding of gender? 
  2. How important do you consider the connection between scientific research and practical communication strategies in today’s world? 
  3. What aspects of your background and experience make you uniquely qualified to discuss the intricate relationship between biology and gender communication? 
  4. What are some of the ways people from diverse age groups and backgrounds benefit from the knowledge shared in “Sex Talk”? 
  5. Can you envision any potential controversies or debates that might arise from the assertion that biological sex has an absolute influence on gender communication differences? 
  6. How does the interdisciplinary approach of this book, combining social science and biological science research, set it apart from other works on gender communication? 
  7. Given the wide-ranging implications of this topic, how do you see the potential for practical application of the communication strategies presented in the book? 
  8. What role do you think books like “Sex Talk” play in advancing the conversation around gender communication beyond academia and into the public sphere? 
  9. You emphasize the importance of understanding communication from both the speaker’s and listener’s perspectives. How might this approach reshape traditional views on effective communication? 
  10. Can you share your perspective on how “Sex Talk” contributes to the ongoing dialogue on gender, diversity, and inclusivity in today’s society?

Dr. Furlich answers more questions about his books on his website: www.drstephenfurlich.com             

  1. What’s your new book, Nonverbal Epiphany, about? Nonverbal Epiphany provides current nonverbal communication research for readers ranging in age from teenage years through adult seniors. Subtle nonverbal communication behaviors that most people are unaware of are covered throughout the book. The research covered throughout the book addresses topics found in both professional and personal communication interactions. First, it is academic research that brings credible support for the findings covered. Secondly, it is a focus of Nonverbal Epiphany to apply the topics covered in each chapter. The end of each chapter has an activity helping readers to personally experience the nonverbal concepts they read. The interconnectedness between biology and nonverbal communication is emphasized. All nonverbal communication is influenced by biology and all nonverbal communication impacts one’s biological functioning.
  2. What inspired you to write it? Two particular areas are those communication behaviors that often go unnoticed and those communication behaviors that people can intentionally communicate to achieve their goals. Accomplishing both of these goals is the focus. It is a focus of this book to enlighten people about these subtle nonverbal behaviors in order to better recognize them from other people and also get a deeper understanding of the meanings behind such behaviors. Some of these subtle nonverbal messages can be in the form of micro facial expressions, combinations of gestures, vocal changes, colors, and measurement proportions to mention a few areas. This book helps readers develop these skills. They range from obvious nonverbal behaviors to subtle behaviors that influence perceptions of other people.
  3. How can our communication behaviors that don’t involve speaking influence others in a professional setting? One reliable way is through emotional contagion. People often take on the emotional state of those people around them. One can strategically influence the intended emotional state of others through priming. This takes building trust. This can be done through mimicry prior to a request, a genuine smile, and head nodding to mention a few strategies. People can also have emotional associations with products. Products in close proximity often elicit similar emotions to people near them. Emotional contagion can also take place from a salesperson to the customer’s emotional feelings about the product. Displaying nonverbal immediacy behaviors can also persuade in a professional setting.
  4. Can one develop skills to detect what the nonverbal communication behaviors of others mean? Yes, one can learn how to determine a genuine smile from a fake one. Only around 10% of people can artificially exhibit a genuine smile. There are biological influences that make it near impossible to display a disingenuous real smile. Another example is what their legs and hands are indicating. Often people point their feet unintentionally to what interests them. For instance, someone might be facing another person during a conversation but have a foot pointed to the side toward a door. Another detection is yawn contagion indicates empathizing with those around.
  5. What are examples of subtle behaviors that can influence our perception of other people? It has been found in research studies that the left side of a person’s face is more believable. It has also been found that genuine emotional expressions start on the left side of the face. My guess is that the right side of the brain is responsible for emotions. The right brain hemisphere controls the left side of the body. Another example is pupil dilation and contraction. One reason our pupils dilate is when we see something we have interest in. They contract when we see something we dislike. This can be beneficial in sales knowing what specific products a customer likes and dislikes. Another example is subtle behaviors involving synchrony between people can indicate their level of rapport.
  6. You claim that nonverbal behaviors and perceptions by both a doctor or nurse and a patient can influence healthcare outcomes. How so? The nonverbal behaviors from a healthcare professional can influence patient diagnosis precision. When a healthcare professional mimics the nonverbal behaviors of the patient, research has found that they more accurately rate the pain level of the patient. One explanation is an increase in empathy. Mimicked behaviors increase empathy between the people. It activates similar areas of the brain and both people have similar emotional experiences as a result. They understand each other’s communication more accurately.
  7. Do we misread one’s facial movements? One example of misreading facial movements is the difference between a romantic kiss and one that is not. Both people tilting their heads to the right side is an indication of a romantic kiss. Both people tilting their heads to the left is an indication of a kiss that is not romantic. A smile that is less symmetrical and shorter to create often indicates a fake smile.
  8. Do males and females differ nonverbally? Overall, females are superior nonverbally. They understand other people’s nonverbal behaviors more accurately. They also send their nonverbal messages more accurately. It is also easier for a female to adjust her nonverbal behaviors to mimic another person’s nonverbal behaviors than it is for a male to adjust his behaviors to mimic. Part of this is explained by females are better able to empathize with others. Females also can see a much larger range of colors. Color vision is located on the X chromosome, with females having two. They also have more P cells in their retina for color vision and details. Hence, males and females actually see the world differently.
  9. Why do you believe that biology plays an important role in our nonverbal behaviors? Females have more connections across both hemispheres of their brain. They also have more areas of their brain activated during social interactions. This allows them to engage in a conversation while at the same time analyze another person’s nonverbal behaviors. Therefore, they understand subtle nonverbal behaviors better. Males on the other hand have more connections within each hemisphere. They focus more on one task at a time, either engaging in the conversation or analyzing another person’s nonverbal behaviors. Oxytocin is a bonding chemical. Females have higher levels of oxytocin during social interactions enabling them to understand others on a deeper level through empathy.
  10. You also claim that there are things we can do to influence our biology, and that of others, in order to have more favorable nonverbal communication in our careers, potential relationships, or current relationships? Cuddy has researched the power pose for years. She found standing with your legs farther apart and hands on hips with elbows out increases testosterone and decreases cortisol. It was found that people taking this pose prior to an interview were rated higher regarding the interview even though the people conducting the interview never saw who had the power pose and who did not. This pose has also been found to lead to more accurate judgements of other’s emotional state. Possibly this is due to lower cortisol levels that help people relax from lower stress.
  11. Why do you warn us not to rely on only one nonverbal behavior to analyze another’s intentions? Understanding nonverbal communication of other people is like putting together pieces of a puzzle. A person needs to put together different pieces of information for an educated assessment. One particular nonverbal can have a different meaning with different individuals and different cultures. It can also differ based upon the topic discussed, context, and people involved in the interaction. No one single nonverbal behavior is absolute every time with 100% accuracy.
  12. Which nonverbal behaviors cross cultural lines and are universal? One nonverbal behavior that has been found cross culturally is the eyebrow flash. When greeting someone a person often raises their eyebrows quickly when they are happy to see them. Lowering of the eyebrows has a more negative meaning. A slight head tilt is often perceived positively during social interactions. This behavior exposes more of the person’s neck. Exposing one’s neck shows one’s physical vulnerability and that they are not a threat. Pupil dilation is also absolute. Jewelry dealers have known for years that buyers will have their pupils dilate when they see a piece they like and contract with pieces they dislike.
  13. Your prior book, Sex Talk, some interesting things. How did you crack the gender communications gap? Males will understand communication more literally. Females will understanding subtle behaviors more. They understand nonverbal cues more accurately. Males often oversimplify their conversational understanding. Females over analyze conversational understanding. Females have more sensory information to process. All of their senses are superior.
  14. Are these nonverbal behaviors learned or are they genetic? There are a lot of nonverbal behaviors that are genetic. Cultures influence the proper way to display these nonverbal behaviors. For example, research has identified about 5-7 emotions everyone experiences. How people display these emotions can vary from culture to culture. Epigenetics also plays a major role. Nonverbal behaviors are passed down genetically from generation to generation that help individuals survive, reproduce, and succeed in society at a given time.
  15. How can you tell when someone is lying, other than listening to what they say? Professionals who are trained to recognize deception do so with only about 60% accuracy. It is a difficult task. Each person, context, and topic is different. One thing to do is understand how a person normally communicates. Then, notice if they communicate differently when talking about the topic of interest. Contrary to popular belief, people often make more eye contact when trying to deceive. They also use repetitive nonverbal gestures. It has been found that people look to the left when recalling factual information and to the right for imaginary information, this has been well confirmed for right-handed people.
  16. Is there a secret formula to nonverbal communication? There are secrets about nonverbal communication that most people do not know about. However, like everything else one can improve reading other people’s nonverbal communication through practice. Each chapter ends with an activity to help reader’s improve their nonverbal communication skills. There are a few basic principles that apply to most people in most situations. Nonverbal behaviors are reactionary to experiences but nonverbal behaviors can also create emotional experiences. Everything about nonverbal communication should be analyzed with the context in mind. Understand each person’s normal communication style. Put together the individual pieces of nonverbal information together to create an informed analysis, just like putting together pieces of a puzzle.
  17. What type of gestures are effective to communicate certain things? One piece of advice is carry a newspaper or professional periodical to business meetings rather than having your cellphone in your hand. Set it on the desk. This will professionally stand out. Having palms up when someone already agrees with you is more effective when making a request. Having palms down when someone is cautious or vigilant is more effective when making a request.
  18. Can one fake empathy or a smile? Yes, about 10% of people can fake a genuine smile. This matches the percent of people in society with certain personality disorders. A real smile takes longer, is higher in the cheeks, symmetry, wrinkles by the sides known as crow’s feet.
  19. What can you tell from a handshake? A handshake can often give someone an advantage. Having your hand on top gives you more power. Having your palm down gives you more power. Having your palm up exposes your vulnerable veins and is perceived submissively. One strategy is to have the person stand to your left when shaking hands so you reach and your palm is down and theirs is up.
  20. Do attractive physical features of a person communicate something to another? It has been found universally and across generations that attractive faces have features that more align with the golden ratio. This is regardless of sex, race, and culture. The Golden Ratio is the proportion or distance comparing objects as 1 to 1.618. These attractive ratings are found in real-life, pictures, artwork etc. Plastic surgeons often follow this understanding when preparing for cosmetic facial surgery procedures.
  21. How do colors or a physical environment communicate something? Colors impact us in several ways. When using technology visual aids such as a powerpoint, warm colors such as yellow and red increase comprehension by the audience. Our memory also often influences our perception of colors. For example, a study found people seeing grey bananas rated the color as yellow because of their familiarity with yellow bananas. Water in a blue cup is rated more refreshing than in a yellow cup. Men wearing red are often rated more attractive than those wearing other colors. A salesperson wearing red is often more persuasive than wearing a different color. Blue is often used for company logos because it communicates trust similar to the sky and oceans

Dr. Furlich’s books are available on his website www.drstephenfurlich.com, and on Amazon.com

Photo taken from: https://www.drstephenfurlich.com/sex-talk
Photo taken from: https://www.drstephenfurlich.com/nonverbal-epiphany

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Watch Dr. Stephen Furlich on Ask the Expert with Dr. Ava Cadell

 

A Special Message to Survivors from The Feminist Sexpert

Photo found at Pexels, taken by Monstera Production

A Special Message to Survivors from The Feminist Sexpert

As we awake to the news this morning that Harvey Weinstein’s New York rape conviction has been overturned citing an unfair trial, a number of women, not to mention sexual assault survivors of all identities, are reacting with anger, sadness, grief and rage–feelings that right now seem overwhelming, weakening and even paralyzing.

Speaking to you today as Megan, as the Feminist Sexpert, as a woman who has devoted her life and much of her journalistic career to these causes, I am here today to deliver a single simple message to any and all who need to hear it:

You are not alone. You are stronger than you know. You are mighty. And no one, and I mean no one, will silence you or reduce your impact.

Since the dawn of the Me Too movement, assault survivors have come so far in their fight to be heard. To be recognized. To receive the justice that has been denied them for far too long. That has not changed. Nothing can diminish the victories, in and out of court, the awareness, the beautiful expressions and indomitable truths that have arisen from this movement.

The same rage and need for justice that conceived and impelled this movement is the very thing that will keep it alive. We will not be silent, we will not give up. We will keep fighting. And we shall prevail.

Anyone who needs to talk and share their feelings can reach out to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) at 1-800-656-4673. They are there for you, as are so many of us who support and believe in you.

If you need to weep, to rest, to express yourself through art, exercise, whatever it takes, then by all means do so. Then take the feelings that currently plague and malign you and turn them to fuel; then turn the fuel to fire.

We have not yet begun to fight.

Sex By Moon

Photo by: Ahmad Hidayat on Unsplash

Have you ever wondered if the Moon plays a role in sex. Do we have more sex at different times of the Moon’s cycle? Is it the same if you are dating versus in a relationship? What role does it play with respect to gender? The answer to all these questions asked is, it depends.

What is good for one might not be good for another. Life is strange like that; we do not all fit into the same box.

The Moon has a strong effect on us. Throughout time, people have documented the behavior of living things with the lunar cycles. Humans have been known to have more energy, not sleep as much, and do some wild things. We do not know totally why the Moon affects us like this, but it does.

Photo by: Sanni Sahil on Unsplash

We know the four phases of the menstrual cycle run about 28 days, same as the Moon’s cycle. We also know the Moon controls the tides. Why is that important? According to the U.S. Geological Survey, a human adult body is made up to 60% water.

Researchers completed extensive studies several decades ago and found the proportion of water in our bodies. They went through the body piece by piece to find out where the water was. In the chart below, you can see just what proportion of each organ is water. For example, our skin is made up of 64% water and our lungs are 83% water.

Water Content of Human Organs

Organs Percentage
Brain and Heart Combined 73%
Lungs 83%
Skin 64%
Muscles and Kidneys Combined 79%
Bones 31%

 

Now, you might be asking, why do we care to know that our body is made up of water? Because, if the Moon affects the tides of the world, it makes sense that the Moon can affect us as well because of the 60% water we are made from. And we know about the Moon affecting hormones, thereby affecting all of us because it does not matter your gender, we all have hormones.

Your libido may rise and fall in sync with the cycles of the Moon, such as, on a Full Moon your sex drive might surge if ovulation coincides with the Moon. The following presents a brief summary of information for each phase of the lunar cycle.

New Moon is the best time to try new things.

  • New Partner
  • New Location
  • New Position

Waxing Moon is the best for self.

  • Self-Love
  • Self-Exploration
  • Self-Masturbation

Full Moon is the best time for sex.

  • Sexual Desires are at their highest
  • Hormonal levels are at their highest.
  • Pheromones levels are at their highest

Waning Moon is best for non-sexual activities.

  • Recharging Time.
  • Communicating and Planning Time.
  • Self-Care Time

But how does the Moon play a role in Dating versus in a Relationship. You find out that each phase of the lunar cycle changes our mindset regarding mood and actions. Please remember nothing is set in stone. These are just observations over the years by many. There are always outliers.

Photo by: Javardh on Unsplash

New Moon: This time is very fluid, so have fun.

Relationship: Because you are in a relationship, this is a great time to try something new with your partner. This is the time to let the fun ‘out’ and enjoy the experience. You do not want to be complacent in the relationship. This is the time when you want to add a little sugar and spice to it, to keep things interesting.

Dating: This is the perfect time for you to try new things out. See what you like and do not like. When dating you should keep a list with your goals to keep track of your progress. Also, it will let you deviate from your plan if you choose to go another way. Remember this is the time when you are putting yourself out there to find someone you want to be with.

Waxing Moon: This is a holding position, focusing on you.

Relationship: You each in the relationship need to look inward. Care for yourself then take the time to care for each other, treating the relationship as one. This can be hard at first so look at this way. Pamper and play with yourself, then take the time to spend time together. You may find that you are relaxed and free to self-explore each other during this time.

Dating: This is the time you start looking at who you want to date. If you have gone out on a date and this is a follow-up date, you are learning about each other and how well you fit together. Can you make your lives fit together?  Do you complement each other or are you at odds with each other?

Full Moon: Interesting, whether you are involved or not.

Relationship: This is the time when you could take your relationship to the next level, or a great time to say, ‘I Love You.’ Either way, this phase of the Moon is excellent for a stronger commitment. It is the time you both take sex to another plane. You have a deeper connection.

Dating: You will find that you slow down some. You might make a date only to have them cancel on you. When you do not have a connection or a deep bond, you may find yourself fighting or arguing with each other. If you are dating, having sex on a Full Moon may not happen.

Photo by: Ryan Young on Unsplash

Waning Moon: Time for rejuvenating and recharging.

Relationship: This is the time you and your partner self-reflect and reflect on your relationship. You have a deeper bond with each other, knowing the other plays a role in satisfying one’s needs. Because of the connection you each have you are able to enjoy the recharging together.

Dating: Consider what you have learned about yourself and the others you have dated. When you are dating, apply the information learned on the first date to the second and third. This will help build a deeper relationship with your date, especially if you are hoping for the date to blossom into something more.

One more thought to consider is Moon Bathing, another name is ‘Chandra Snana’, which is the bathing with or without water under Moonlight. Allowing the Moonlight to recharge you, giving you a feeling of well-being, but also making you feel purified. This can lead to a delightful time with yourself or with a partner. It has been known to bring the wild side out, especially under a full Moon.

What is the take away? The Moon does play a role in our sex lives when it comes to dating and/or relationships. Gender, not so much, because we all have hormones that are affected by the Moon’s pull. It is important to know that you can learn from previous actions so you can grow and understand later relationships, whether causal or serious, for a more enlighten time. Have fun and always keep things consensual.

The Whisper Model for Feminist Porn

Photo found at Pexels, taken by CottonBro

The Feminist Sexpert Introduces the Whisper Model for Feminist Porn

Sigmund Freud once posed the question, “What do women want?” Well, we ladies have no earthly intentions of divulging that knowledge to Freud, as he was pretty much a sexist numnutz. And he’s dead now anyway. Through the years, though, a number of other peeps have posed the same question–particularly when it comes to feminine tastes in pornography.

Since the early 1980s, a number of excellent adult companies have created content custom made for women–releasing titles that are romantic, textured in terms of plot and story, nonviolent, and nonexploitative in nature, and that feature attractive male performers who are skilled at pleasing women. Yet, or so many content creators tell me, they experience some acute difficulty in reaching their target audience.

That may be because, or so many women tell me, they just don’t feel that comfortable shopping for porn. A single visit to a porn site can expose them to a barrage of male-directed movies whose covers and titles alone might give them nightmares–or, at the very least, make them really, really ticked. (THIS is what my husband is watching? That does it. I am so starching his boxers to the point of abject mummification). 

When a woman does see a title that appears promising–well, then she’s darned lucky, because many DVD/download cover images feature solo shots of hot women in various stages of undress–with little to no indication as to the strength and intellect of the character she portrays, the attractiveness of her male co-star, or the quality of the film’s storyline.

Back when the Feminist Sexpert was the Possemeister for the Playgirl Posse Fan Club, she and her ladies thought it would be super cool if a rating was established to alert female viewers about the suitability of adult films to align to their tastes (translation: This flick will really knock yer platforms off, Girl–and how!).

I originally suggested a handy abbreviation to assign to this rating–perhaps WS (Woman Safe)–but an abbreviation is hardly romantic. And just because a title fails to contain rough or rapey elements, the film might not depict a XXX love story, demonstrating in the process those tried and true techniques for pleasing and satisfying women–like if the movie contains even a single sequence of a lady hanging from the ceiling upside down so she can more easily and conveniently administer oral sex to a circle of rough, less than visually appealing men, then–sorry, Charlie!–that film will not merit my squeal of approval–or, for that matter, a much coveted WS designation!

Now I believe that our proposed feminist porn rating is so darned cool, that it deserves a whole name, all its very own! And so, in a pinch, I’ve come up with a potential label for our newly created seal of approval for feminist porn titles (drum roll please).

The Whisper Model.

The Whisper Model rating would come complete with a way cool logo that could be displayed easily on DVD boxes, movie marketing materials, and in the text of film reviews. When a woman sees this logo (perhaps a graphic of the Feminist Sexpert gracing the camera with a hearty wink and thumbs up sign combination–nah, just joking–surely we could come up with something better than that), she could be well assured that the movie bearing it will both respect her sensibilities and rock her world in equal measure. And really, for what more in life could we possibly ask?