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Home Featured - The Best Sex Education Articles for Adults

Featured - The Best Sex Education Articles for Adults

Sexpert.com has the Best Sex Education Articles for Adults from an expert line up of certified sex experts.

Top sex education for adults featured posts and sexuality articles from our sex experts, sex coaches on everything from female orgasms, sexual pleasure, alternative lifestyle topics, couples sex advice and dating advice, masturbation and sexual empowerment, sexual health and wellness including men’s sexual problems like premature ejaculation and how to last longer in the bedroom.

Our Sex Ed featured articles include all the tips and techniques you need to know to make you a better lover such as the ultimate guide to anal sex, BDSM and kinky sex, oral sex, how to have the best orgasms, sexual relationship topics on how to spice up your love life, as well as female sexual anatomy and the erogenous zones including the clitoris, the cervix and cervical orgasm, all about the g spot, female ejaculation and g spot orgasms, the vagina and the vulva, penis facts and more.

Sexpert.com is an all-inclusive sex education site for adults and has many empowering articles on gender and sexuality, as well as articles for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender, sissies, and alternative lifestyles including cuckold and hotwife relationships, threesomes, polyamory and swinging. See our sacred sexuality topics including Tantra sex, yoni yoga, sexy goddess rituals, energy orgasms and more.

Explore sexpert articles from our top sex educators including Dr. Ava Cadell, Erika, Jordan, Anka Radakovich, Domina Doll, Carrie Borillo, Ralph Greco, Sunny Megatron, Tatyannah King, Dr. Hernando Chaves, Elle Chase, Debra Shade, Holly Bradshaw, and many more.

The Secret to Getting Paypigs on a Findom Site

Photo taken from: https://www.findommeet.com/

The Secret to Getting Paypigs on a Findom Site

So, you’ve decided to become a Findom and are just getting started setting up, collecting your gear, and practicing your persona. All that’s left now is getting your paypigs.

We’ll review how to get started on a good Findom site and get those first few paypigs, which are always the hardest. Beyond that, we’re looking at how to make the experience work for everyone involved, leading to long-term clients who will keep coming back for more.

Setting Up Your Profile on a Findom Site

To start, we’ll need to get you set up as a financial dominatrix on a Findom site.

FindomMeet.com is the example we’ll use, but many are out there. Sometimes, it pays to sign up for a bunch of them and see where your content gains traction. But enough of this fluffing around, it’s time to build your first profile:

  1. Showcase high-quality images and videos. Visuals are everything on the internet. Think Instagram, TikTok, or YouTube. You can see that high-quality video and pictures are now the norm. If you want to have a chance as a Findom, you’ll need to have great lighting, make-up, and the technical know-how to take great pictures and video as a baseline. But beyond that, you’ll want your content to highlight a specific ‘brand’ – that is, your personal style, personality, and style of dominance that paypigs will want to get invested in. Try a 15-second video of yourself in a commanding pose, complete with a seductive outfit and confident demeanor as a starting point.
  2. Write Compelling Captions. Your captions should emphasize your dominance and invoke a sense of curiosity among paypigs quickly browsing or searching your profile. Use assertive yet alluring language, with a little ‘clickbait’ magic thrown in there. For example, “Your tributes are worthless here. I only accept you as your true Goddess.”
  1. Clear Expectations: Once you’ve hooked them, set the right expectations for what you’re offering in your profile. This includes what kind of tributes you accept, how often you expect them, and any specific rules or protocols you have in place. The balance between alluring mystery and transparency is tricky, but you need to be straightforward to attract the right kind of submissives.

Building a Connection

Photo taken from: https://www.findommeet.com/

Once you have built your profile and started posting, the next step is to make a connection with your paypigs. Between regular posts on your feed, you’ll want to interact a little more directly with your lustful clients. Here are some strategies to keep them coming back once you’ve got their attention:

  1. Good Communication: Engage with your paypigs on the paypig site regularly and in a way that feels personal to them. Respond to their messages, acknowledge their tributes, and play into their fantasies. The more personal your interactions, the more likely they will become regulars.
  2. Customized Humiliation: Not all paypigs enjoy the same level of humiliation. Some may prefer mild teasing, while others crave more intense degradation. Knowing your audience and catering to their desires is best. It’s good to choose your baseline up front (let’s say, mild humiliation), then center your content from there.
  3. Consistency and Reliability: Consistency is crucial in maintaining a loyal following. Post updates regularly, engage in role-playing scenarios, and let people know you plan to be around and stay with them. This reliability builds trust and encourages paypigs to continue their financial support.

Leveraging Your Social Media

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Now that you’ve prepared as best you can, the next thing to do is set up your social media presence to generate exciting content that will funnel potential paypigs into your more lucrative content. Here’s how you can leverage these platforms:

  1. Teaser Posts: Share short teasers of your content and build on highlights of your content on platforms like Twitter or Instagram. Remember, people will be scrolling over it for less than a second, so make the thumbnail, short video, and caption all eye-catching and short.
  2. Engage with Your Audience: Respond to comments and messages in a way that makes people feel you’re real, without looking desperate. Engage in conversations that showcase your personality and dominance. Think of every interaction as a potential to build your ‘brand.’
  3. Collaborate with Other Doms: Collaborating with other financial dominatrices can expand your reach. Participate in joint live streams, share each other’s content, and cross-promote your profiles to attract a broader audience. You can also reach out further to others in the kink community.

Ethical Considerations

While financial domination can be a lucrative venture, it’s essential to approach it with ethical considerations in mind:

  1. Consent and Boundaries: Always ensure that any interaction is consensual. Establish clear boundaries and respect the limits of your paypigs. This includes avoiding language that may be offensive or degrading without explicit consent.
  2. Transparency: Be transparent about your expectations and the use of tributes. It can be hard to find the right balance between fantasy and honesty and transparency, but hitting this balance is the sign of a great Findom.

Some Final Tips

  • Post regularly with innovative content: Keep your content fresh by posting regular updates. This could include new photos, videos, or even live streams.
  • Be open to all kinds of role-playing: Engage in role-playing scenarios that cater to the fantasies of your paypigs. Depending on their preferences, this can range from mild teasing to more intense humiliation.
  • Get and listen to feedback: Encourage feedback from your paypigs and use it to improve your approach. This helps in tailoring your content to meet their specific needs and desires.
  • Community engagement: Participate in online communities related to Findom to network with other doms and learn from their experiences. Don’t just advertise your social media or profiles. Actually try to connect with the community and seek to provide helpful discussion.

Conclusion

Financial domination can be a fun experience, but there are many dos and don’ts to getting started successfully. You need to be strategic and authentic at the same time and understand how to play into the fantasy.

If you can do that and learn to leverage social media well, a whole can of worms unto itself, you’ll be well on your way to Findom success.

So, whether you’re a seasoned dom or just starting out, understanding these secrets can help you navigate the Findom site landscape with confidence.

Ways to Empower Women to Connect with Their Bodies

Photo taken from: https://osuga.com/

Ways to Empower Women to Connect with Their Bodies and Explore Their Own Path to Experiencing Pleasure

Women are often bombarded with mixed messages about their bodies and sexuality. While society increasingly acknowledges the importance of body positivity and sexual empowerment, many women still struggle to develop a connection with their own bodies and explore their unique paths to pleasure. This journey is deeply personal and transformative, requiring self-awareness, education, and the dismantling of societal taboos. In this article, we will explore how to help every woman develop a deep connection with their body and navigate their own path to pleasure.

Understanding the Importance of Body Connection

Self-Awareness:

Self-awareness is the foundation of a strong connection with one’s body. It involves understanding how your body feels, what it needs, and how it responds to various stimuli. Many women have been conditioned to ignore or suppress their bodily sensations, leading to a disconnect that can manifest in various ways, including low self-esteem, anxiety, and a lack of sexual fulfillment.  

Body Positivity:

Body positivity is a movement that encourages acceptance and love for all body types, shapes, and sizes.  Encouraging body positivity involves more than just promoting diverse images in media; it requires active open talks about self-worth and beauty. Women need to be reminded that their value is not determined by their appearance and that they are deserving of love and respect. This mindset shift can open the door to a deeper, more authentic connection with one’s body.

Exploring Personal Paths to Pleasure

Education and Knowledge:

One of the biggest barriers to exploring personal pleasure is a lack of education. Many women are not taught about their bodies’ anatomy, sexual health, or the wide range of experiences that can bring pleasure. This gap in knowledge can lead to feelings of shame, confusion, or frustration. Sexual education is crucial in empowering women to explore their own paths to pleasure. When women understand how their bodies work and what feels good for them, they are better equipped to explore their desires without fear or embarrassment.

Breaking the Taboos:

Society often places taboos around female pleasure, creating a culture of silence and shame. These taboos can make it difficult for women to talk openly about their desires or seek out the experiences that bring them joy. Women should be encouraged to express their desires, ask questions, and seek out information without fear of judgment. By normalizing discussions about pleasure, we can help women feel more comfortable exploring what feels good to them.

Self-Exploration:

Photo taken from: https://osuga.com/

Self-exploration is a key component of developing a connection with one’s body and discovering what brings pleasure. This exploration can take many forms, from solo activities like masturbation to experimenting with different types of touch, fantasies, or sexual practices.  Osuga, a company founded in 2019 helps women recognize, accept, and explore themselves. They prioritize design and quality in everything they create, aiming to build a sexual wellness brand that goes beyond stereotypes.  They have a wide range of toys that fit any woman’s sexual needs, such as the OSUGA Flow Triple Stimulation for Clitoris, Urethral and G-spot and other innovative items.

Mindfulness and Sensuality:

Mindfulness is the practice of being present and fully engaged in the current moment. When applied to the body, mindfulness can enhance physical sensations and deepen the connection between mind and body. This practice is especially powerful in the context of exploring pleasure, as it encourages women to focus on what feels good without distraction or judgment. 

Communication and Intimacy:

Exploring pleasure is not just an individual journey; it also involves communication and intimacy with partners. Women need to feel comfortable discussing their desires and boundaries with their partners, as well as exploring new experiences together, such as incorporating sexual aides without feeling judged by their partners.   Partners can also play a supportive role by being attentive, respectful, and willing to explore new experiences together.

Creating Supportive Communities

Building a Support Network:

Support networks provide a safe space for women to talk about their journeys without fear of judgment. They can also offer valuable resources, such as books, workshops, or expert advice, to help women along their paths. By fostering a sense of community, women can feel less isolated and more empowered in their exploration of pleasure.

Seeking Professional Guidance:

Sometimes, women may need professional guidance to help them navigate their connection with their bodies or explore their paths to pleasure. This could involve seeing a therapist who specializes in sexual health, a sex coach, or a body positivity advocate.

Overcoming Challenges

Addressing Body Shame:

Many women have internalized negative messages about their bodies from a young age, leading to feelings of inadequacy or self-loathing. Overcoming body shame is a gradual process that involves challenging these negative beliefs and replacing them with positive, affirming ones.  

Navigating Societal Pressures:

Societal pressures to conform to certain beauty standards or sexual norms can make it difficult for women to embrace their bodies and explore their desires.  To navigate societal pressures, women need to cultivate a strong sense of self and prioritize their own needs and desires over external expectations.

Conclusion

Helping women develop a connection with their body and explore their own path to pleasure is a multifaceted journey that requires education, self-awareness, and support. By promoting body positivity, breaking down societal taboos, and encouraging self-exploration, can empower women to embrace their bodies and discover what brings them joy. This journey is deeply personal and unique to everyone, but with the right resources and community, every woman can find her own path to pleasure and fulfillment.

Photo taken from: https://osuga.com/

Visit Osuga, where their mission is to empower every woman to forge a deeper connection with their own body and explore new levels of pleasure that are uniquely theirs.  With a vision is to offer a positive, joyful, and beautiful sexual experience, while also being socially responsible and committed to sustainable development. They believe that sex is a beautiful, natural experience, and strive to inspire every woman to embrace it with confidence. Through their innovative designs and commitment to quality, they strive to create a relaxed world where every woman can confidently embrace her individuality and experience the joy of self-discovery.

Beducated Reveals Different Desires in the Bedroom

Image taken from: https://beducated.com/

PRESS RELEASE

Beducated Reveals Different Desires in the Bedroom: Men Want More, Women Want Better

(Los Angeles, CA / September 3, 2024) – Top digital sex-ed platform Beducated recently conducted an in-depth survey examining the sexual satisfaction and desires of men and women – uncovering distinct differences in what each group seeks to improve within their intimate lives.

Men and women are equally satisfied with their sex lives, but men want more of it and would also love for their partner to open up about their wants, needs and boundaries. 57% of all respondents expressed a desire for more frequent sexual activity, highlighting a common sentiment across genders.

Individuals’ quality of sexual experiences over time fluctuates by gender as well, with nearly 25% of men polled expressing that “Our desire for sex never matches anymore”, but a more illuminating outcome reveals that more than 30% of men believe “Sex has gotten better over time”, while more than 40% of women feel the same way.

“Our latest survey sheds light on the nuanced needs and desires of individuals in their intimate relationships,” said Beducated founder Mariah Freya. “Understanding these differences can help partners communicate more effectively and work towards mutual satisfaction.”

To learn more, visit Beducated.com to discover an insightful censor-free variety of 100+ pleasure-based sex education courses covering everything from self-pleasure to kink exploration, with subscriptions starting at $9.99 a month for an annual pass. Non-subscribers can also explore the service with a 24-hour free trial.

ABOUT BEDUCATED:

Beducated is the biggest pleasure-based sex education platform on the internet, with 100+ courses covering everything from self-pleasure to kink exploration. The library hosts thousands of lessons and extensive learning materials curated by world-class sex educators, coaches, and experts.

Founded by Mariah Freya and Phil Steinweber in 2018, Beducated began as a “Netflix for sexual education,” offering online access to sex and sexuality master classes via subscription. Their latest venture, the AI Sex Coach, is a comprehensive ‘intimacy assistant’ that provides detailed advice on sex and relationships, leveraging extensive training from thousands of sex education lessons and materials to foster an environment of shame-free sexual exploration. To learn more, visit Beducated.com.

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Press and media contact: Brian S. Gross | BSG PR | 818.340.4422 | [email protected] | @bsgpr

Sexual Fantasizing

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Sexual fantasizing, what does it mean? It is the indulgence in daydreaming about something one desires. Fantasizing is done by men and women and it is totally normal. Boys and girls typically start to fantasize between 11 and 13 years of age, according to a study by the California State University.

WedMD has studied these activities also and found that women between 27 and 45 years of age had more intense sexual fantasies than other groups. More often than not, men will fantasize about a complete stranger whereas a woman tends to fantasize about someone she knows. For example, a man might fantasize about a woman he sees across the gym for the first time while a woman might fantasize about her gym trainer.

In this article we will be looking at the eight most common sexual fantasies and what percentage of men and women like which particular fantasies. After you read this, you should have a realization that you are more normal than you thought, no matter what society or culture says.

Photo by Lucas Filipe on Unsplash

Please keep in mind that all cultures, religions, and societies have different perspectives on these activities. What is not accepted in one part of the world may be totally normal and acceptable in another. With that in mind, it really is normal to have thoughts and feelings of fantasies.

This is why it can get tricky and cause problems if you let an individual make you feel like something is wrong with you. Do not do that. There is nothing further from the truth. It is important that one focuses on the fact that we are all humans at different stages in our lives and we will all be experiencing different desires.

In a Psychology Today article of November 18, 2019, Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller reported on research which discovered the Most Common Sexual Fantasies.

Photo by Artem Labunsky on Unsplash

8 Most Common Sexual Fantasies

Multi-Partner Sex Fantasies are reported by:

  • Men 95%
  • Women 87%

Multi-Partner might include the following:

  • Threesomes
  • Group Sex
  • Orgies
  • Gang Bangs

BDSM means Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism Fantasies and are reported by:

  • Men 93%
  • Women 95%

BDSM might include the following:

  • Being Dominated
  • Dominating Someone
  • Bondage
  • Sensory Deprivation

Novelty, Adventure, and Variety Fantasies are reported by:

  • Men 97%
  • Women 97%

Novelty, Adventure, and Variety might include the following:

  • Sex in Public
  • Sex in an Uncommon Location
  • Sex with a Celebrity
  • Sex with a Stranger
  • Role Play
  • Cosplay

Sexual Taboo Culturally Forbidden Fantasies are reported by:

  • Men 87%
  • Women 72%

Sexual Taboo Culturally Forbidden might include the following:

  • Oral Sex
  • Anal Sex
  • Sex with Someone Younger
  • Sex with Someone Older
  • Exhibitionism
  • Voyeurism

Passion, Romance, and Intimacy Fantasies are reported by:

  • Men 99%
  • Women 99%

Passion, Romance, and Intimacy might include the following:

  • Cuddling
  • Hand Holding
  • Spend Time Together
  • Masturbating
  • Penetration
  • Making Out or Kissing
  • Humping
  • Fingering or Hand Movements
  • Sexual Fetishism
  • Sex with Emotion
  • Sex with Trust
  • Sensual Massage
  • Sexual Massage

Non-Monogamous Fantasies are reported by:

  • Men 91%
  • Women 80%

Non-Monogamous Relationship might include the following:

  • Open Relationship
  • Swinging
  • Polyamory

Alternative Sexual Behaviors Fantasies are reported by:

  • Men 59%
  • Women 49%

Alternative Sexual Behaviors might include the following:

  • Gender-Bending
  • Homoeroticism
  • Cross dressing
  • Becoming the Other Sex
  • Sex with a Transgender Partner
  • Gender Swap
  • Pegging

Heterosexual and Homoeroticism Fantasies are reported by:

  • Men 26%
  • Women 59%

Heterosexual and Homoeroticism might include the following:

  • Heterosexuals desiring same sex activities
  • Gay Pornography
Photo by Yohann LIBOT on Unsplash

Fantasizing can and often will change with your age and desires. Sometimes what we wanted in our twenties is different than what we want in our forties.

Another factor is health. It has been proven that when a human, or robot, physically touches our heart or our brain, it can cause changes in our personality. That change can be as simple as no longer liking a certain food, but it can also be as complex as to change your sexual desires.

Fantasizing is not talked about openly and when it is, a lot of times the topic is met with hostility. This is because to the individuals talking, it is a taboo subject and they think it is wrong, even though they are likely partaking in some of the same fantasies. In reality, there is nothing wrong with you. It is simply normal human behaviors. As always, have fun and keep it consensual.

How Has Intimate Communication Evolved Over Time?

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How Has Intimate Communication Evolved Over Time?

Intimate forms of communication have transformed drastically over the centuries. The ways in which people interact and connect intimately have evolved, from letters to lovers to modern day phone sex services. These changes in intimate communication can be put down to many factors, whether that be advancements in technology or changes in social norms. The way in which we express our desires has shifted from tangible communications to digital communications, showing that our interactions have adapted to technology and the online tools at our disposal.

Handwritten Letters to Telephone Intimacy:

It’s true that back in the 18th and 19th centuries handwritten letters were the primary method of intimate communication. Without telephones and modern day technology, lovers would write deeply personal letters to one another, from expressing their emotions to describing physical touch. These letters formed a tangible connection in relationships and helped to bridge the gap in relationships where distance, coupled with the lack of today’s instant messaging, could have caused a disconnect. 

So, what changed you might ask? The 19th century marked a significant turning point in intimate communication due to the release of the telephone. All of a sudden people could communicate over long distances. There was no longer any need to add ink to paper and sponteaneous, real time interactions became normality. This allowed for a different kind of intimacy. Lovers could express their feelings and desires directly, however, there were still restrictions due to practicality, cost, social norms and the constraints of the technology.

Advancements in Technology:

Over time, especially towards the late 20th century, there were significant technological advancements. This further transformed intimate communications due to mobile technology, whereby erotic phone calls were a new form of intimacy. Erotic calls provided lovers with a way to engage in intimate, often explicit conversations that wouldn’t have been possible in earlier centuries. This innovation created privacy that the landline phone lacked, along with convenience.

As time progressed, social stigma’s around intimacy and sexuality have also changed, meaning that conversations that might have once been seen as taboo, are now socially accepted. The introduction of social networks and other platforms have also helped to form new methods of intimate communication, from online dating to virtual relationships.

The Future of Intimate Communication:

As much as intimacy has developed due to advancements in technology so drastically already, if we look forward, the evolution of intimate communication is likely to be influenced further by emerging technologies such as the introduction of AI and virtual reality.

These technologies will inevitably transform intimate communications. From phone sex services, online chat rooms, dating apps and instant messaging, these services, like their predecessors, will likely become outdated in the near future. Artificial intelligence and virtual reality will provide more intimacy, more personalization and immersive experiences for both couples and individuals.

The journey from love letters to erotic telephone conversations highlights how technology has adapted our behavior when it comes to intimacy. With every phase of technological advancement, our social norms reflect a change in behavioural pattern. It’s clear to see that as technology progresses, the ways in which we communicate will also progress to a more technology focused relationship.

Intimate relationships are now more accessible than ever, versatile and instant. This means that people can share an intimate conversation before even meeting in person. As technology advances, our relationships will reflect the ever changing digital capabilities.  

Erotic Phone Calls

 

Press Release: Summer Sexcapades Spark Testing Plea

Photo taken from: https://www.basisdx.org/product/pro-13-at-home-std-test/

Press Release:  Summer Sexcapades Spark Testing Plea from STI Experts, BasisDx.

Photo from: https://www.basisdx.org/product/basic-3-at-home-std-test/

Silicon Valley, Tuesday 13th August 2024: BasisDx, the leading U.S. provider of at-home STI testing kits, warns Americans who enjoy a vacation romance to get a full panel STI test, as the worldwide STI epidemic surges.

New data reveals that while 26% of the US population actively sought a summer fling, a staggering 17% of those looking for a one night stand while on vacation were in a partnered relationship. The familiar saying “what happens on vacation stays on vacation,” is not often the case as many travelers return with an STI.

“While sun, sea, and sex are a legendary combination, timely detection is vital in today’s global transmission landscape. You no longer need to schedule a blood draw and take more time off from work. Now bacterias, viruses and parasites can be quickly caught with a simple at-home collection kit,” – says Susan Bratton, Chief Advocacy Officer for BasisDx.

With Syphilis cases at a level not witnessed since the 1950’s, and the global STI epidemic continuing unabated, renowned infectious disease expert Andreas M. Kogelnik, MD, PhD, CEO and Chief Scientific Officer at BasisDx, makes an urgent appeal to those returning from vacation to get tested two weeks after vacation.

“I’m not one for scaremongering, but I’ve been studying infectious diseases for more than two decades, and I have never been as concerned as I am right now”, Dr. Kogelnik warned.

“We’re witnessing unprecedented surges of infections that once plagued our great grandparents. Syphilis cases increased by 68% between 2018 and 2022 and this trend continues, meanwhile it also becomes more challenging to treat some infections: multi-drug resistant gonorrhea (or super gonorrhea) cases have been increasingly reported globally. It’s not just an epidemic of the young, STIs are spreading across all demographics particularly in the over 50’s age group.

“As the summer is ending and people start returning from vacation, it’s a crucial step for one’s personal and public sexual health to test for STIs if you had sex with a new partner on holiday. Many STIs have an incubation period of about two weeks, so it’s recommended to wait this period of time after sexual activity to make sure your test results are accurate. However, if you experience any symptoms earlier, an in-clinic visit is necessary as soon as possible.”

For those looking for the easiest and most discreet STI testing option, the next generation of at-home collection STI testing kits like those from BasisDx provide an easy and efficient solution. Technology has advanced to the point where a home-collection kit can accurately detect HIV 1&2,  Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Hepatitis C, Trichomoniasis, Mycoplasma genitalium, Gardnerella and HSV 1 & 2.

With a results turnaround between 24-48 hours and a high level of precision, BasisDx’s testing kits range in price from $58.00 – $199.00 with follow-up telemedicine appointments available.

Sexist Namecalling: A Sign of Fear and Desperation in Insecure Men by The Childless Cat Lady Feminist Sexpert

Sexist Name-calling: A Sign of Fear and Desperation in Insecure Men by The Childless Cat Lady Feminist Sexpert

The Feminist Sexpert has observed that, in instances in which sexist, backward thinking individuals are intimidated by and out and out frightened of powerful women, they often use name-calling as a pathetic tool of attempted domination. In an effort to put women back in their place–i.e., back into the kitchen–they try to shame and humiliate them through the use of vapid, obnoxious and singularly uncreative nicknames.

I first learned this in school, when Junior Feminist Sexpert was repeatedly attacked with the label of Feminazi–a nasty moniker first conceptualized by conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh. It seemed that, whenever a bully failed to come up with an intelligent counterarguement to feminist beliefs, they would sputter out nonsensical nicknames such as ‘feminazi’ because–frankly–they had nothing better or wiser to say.

Years later, when I edited the memoir of a Holocaust survivor for very little pay, empowering this amazing gentleman to tell his story, I wondered just how much of a Nazi I was. 

Then, while serving as the proud president (aka Possemeister) of the Playgirl Posse, the official fan club of Playgirl magazine and PlaygirlTV,  one of my member’s husbands felt that I deserved a professional moniker apart from Possemeister.

“My husband says that you’re a morally depraved single woman,” she informed me with a smirk.

Translation: This woman is encouraging my wife to enjoy and demand more from her sexuality, and to admire photos of naked men who are, in total, far hotter than I am. She must be destroyed in short order.

I asked my friend to pass along my thanks to her husband for my cool new nickname, and wondered aloud if the phrase would fit on a T-shirt.

Well years later, I am still standing. Still fighting for women’s freedoms, including their sexual freedoms. And because of ultra conservative politicians who have stripped us of our bodily freedoms and still deny us basics such as equal work for equal pay, we all have to fight harder than ever to maintain our equality and autonomy.

One of these peeps, in point of fact, has decried women in power as ‘childless cat ladies’ who have no stake in our nation’s future.

So in divine celebration of these amazing women, let’s take a look at some famous Childless Cat Ladies from the annals of popular culture.

Catwoman: As played through the years by Eartha Kitt, Julie Newmar, Halle Berry, Lee Meriwether, Anne Hathaway, and so many others, Catwoman reigned as one of the first female superheroines and–when one thinks about it–was the ultimate Cat Lady, giving Batman a run for his money as she exerted her formidable power.

Ripley, Alien: Aside from ranking among the most powerful heroines in scifi history, Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley is a proud cat mama, to Jonesy–a fierce feline who stays faithful and loyal by the side of this intergalactic warrior woman.

Captain Marvel: The unbeatable superheroine Captain Marvel possesses many superpowers–furthermore, the same can be said for the adorable Goose, her able partner in global domination.

We also could reference any number of real life Childless Cat Ladies who have changed the world–including Betty White, Dolly Parton, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and Taylor Swift. And while Kamala Harris is indeed incredible, ‘Momala’ is not childless–she is the proud stepmom to two kids. As for The Feminist Sexpert, I have no natural born children–or even cats, for that matter–though I am a proud aunt to both human and animal children of all varieties. I’m also a community reporter whose news stories have generated thousands of dollars in donation for charities that feed, clothe and educate children.

And while I am always happy to pet an adorable pussy, I’d never grab one.

The Golden Path to Swinging: Navigating the Do’s and Don’ts

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The Golden Path to Swinging: Navigating the Do’s and Don’ts

The world of swinging is an enticing and adventurous realm where consenting adults explore their sexuality in a shared space. It’s a lifestyle that has evolved over the years, offering a variety of experiences from soft swaps to full exchanges. For those ready to take the plunge or for seasoned swingers looking to refine their experiences, let illuminate the path to a fulfilling swinging journey.

A World Beyond Monogamy

Swinging, often referred to as “the lifestyle,” is a non-monogamous activity that couples and singles engage in to add spice to their sex lives. It can range from watching and being watched to full sexual intercourse with others. Understanding the different levels of swinging is crucial:

Soft Swap: Involves everything but sexual intercourse, such as kissing, fondling, and oral sex with someone other than your partner.

Full Swap: Engaging in sexual intercourse with another couple or individual, with the consent and often the participation of your partner.

Communication is Key: The Heart of Swinging Etiquette

The cornerstone of any successful swinging experience is open and honest communication. It’s vital to discuss your desires, boundaries, and expectations with your partner and any potential playmates. Here are some essential communication strategies:

Be Clear About Your Limit*: Before engaging in any swinging activity, have a candid conversation about what is and isn’t acceptable for both you and your partner.  

Check-In Regularly: Consent is not a one-time conversation. It’s important to check in with each other throughout the experience to ensure everyone is comfortable and enjoying themselves.

Use Safe Words: Establish a safe word or signal that can be used to indicate discomfort or the desire to stop an activity immediately.

The Do’s and Don’ts of Swinging

To ensure a respectful and pleasurable experience, adhere to the following guidelines:

Do’s:

Respect Boundaries: Always honor the boundaries set by others, as well as your own.
Practice Good Hygiene: Personal cleanliness is a must in any intimate encounter.
*Be Discreet: Respect the privacy of others in the lifestyle. What happens in the swinging community should stay there.
Engage in Safe Sex: Protect yourself and others by using protection and getting regularly tested for STIs.

Don’ts:

Don’t Pressure Others: Swinging is about mutual consent. Never coerce someone into an activity they’re not comfortable with.
Don’t Overindulge: Excessive drinking or drug use can impair judgment and consent.
Don’t Be Disrespectful: Always treat others with kindness and respect, regardless of whether you’re interested in playing with them.

Navigating Swinging Events and Venues:

Swinging can take place in various settings, from private parties to exclusive clubs. Here’s how to navigate these spaces:

Dress to Impress: Many venues have dress codes, so make sure to adhere to them. Dressing well can also make a great first impression.
Be Social: Swinging events are an excellent opportunity to meet like-minded individuals. Be friendly and open to conversations.
Understand the House Rules: Each venue or event will have its own set of rules. Make sure you’re familiar with them to avoid any misunderstandings.

Conclusion:  Embrace the Adventure with Care and Respect

Swinging can be a thrilling addition to your love life, offering new experiences and deepening connections with your partner. By following the do’s and don’ts outlined in this guide, you can ensure that your adventures in swinging are both exciting and respectful. Remember, the key to a successful swinging experience is communication, consent, and consideration for everyone involved.

Embark on this journey with an open mind and a respectful heart, and you’ll find that the swinging lifestyle can open doors to a world of pleasure and exploration. Happy swinging!

The Vital Role of Sex Therapy in Body Image and Intimacy

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

The Vital Role of Sex Therapy in Body Image and Intimacy

#EmbracingYourEroticBlueprint

As a clinical sexologist, I’ve encountered countless individuals who grapple with the intricate web of body image concerns and the impact these have on their sexual well-being. In a society that often reduces sexuality to mere physical attributes, it’s crucial to recognize the profound influence that our perceptions of self have on our intimate lives.

There is the transformative power of professional counseling and therapy in addressing body image issues, the importance of understanding sexual anatomy and function, and the essential role partners play in fostering a supportive and communicative sexual relationship.

Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy on Unsplash

Body image is a multifaceted construct that encompasses our thoughts, feelings, and perceptions about our own bodies. It’s influenced by a myriad of factors, including cultural standards, personal experiences, and societal messaging.

When it comes to sexuality, body image plays a pivotal role in how we relate to ourselves and our partners during intimate encounters. Negative body image can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and even avoidance of sexual activity, which can strain relationships and diminish overall quality of life.

Professional counseling and therapy offer a safe and confidential space for individuals to explore and address their body image concerns. A clinical sexologist can provide specialized guidance that combines psychotherapy with sex therapy techniques, tailored to the unique needs of each client.

Through this process, clients can:

  • Unpack and Challenge Negative Beliefs: by examining the origins of their body image issues, clients can begin to dismantle harmful thought patterns and replace them with more affirming narratives.
  • Cultivate Self-Compassion: learning to treat oneself with kindness and understanding is a critical step in healing one’s relationship with one’s body.
  • Enhance Sexual Confidence: through various therapeutic interventions, clients can build confidence in their sexual desirability and capabilities, independent of societal ideals.
  • Develop Coping Strategies: therapy equips clients with practical tools to manage anxiety and self-consciousness both in and out of the bedroom.

A cornerstone of sexual well-being is the knowledge and appreciation of one’s sexual anatomy and its functions. This understanding can empower individuals to make informed decisions about their sexual health and pleasure.

In therapy, clients are encouraged to:

  • Learn About Their Bodies: through education and exploration, clients gain insight into the intricacies of their sexual responses, arousal patterns, and pleasure pathways.
  • Communicate Preferences and Boundaries: knowledge of one’s own body equips individuals to articulate their desires and limits to their partners effectively.
  • Embrace Variability: recognizing that sexual anatomy and function vary widely can help normalize diverse sexual expressions and experiences.

Partners play a critical role in creating an environment where open communication and emotional support are prioritized. In the context of body image concerns, partners can:

  • Offer Validation and Reassurance: regular affirmations of attractiveness and worth can help counteract negative self-perceptions.
  • Practice Active Listening: being present and attentive during discussions about body image can foster a deeper connection and understanding between partners.
  • Engage in Empathetic Dialogue: encouraging conversations about insecurities and fears can bridge the gap between partners and promote mutual support.
  • Collaborate on Solutions: working together to find strategies that enhance comfort and pleasure during sex can strengthen the relationship and benefit both partners.
Photo by Velizar Ivanov on Unsplash

Body image issues can cast a long shadow over one’s sexual self-esteem and intimate relationships. However, through the guidance of a clinical sexologist and the unwavering support of a partner, individuals can embark on a journey of self-discovery, healing, and empowerment.

Therapy not only provides the tools to navigate these complex issues but also illuminates the path to a fulfilling and joyous sexual life.

Remember, the essence of our erotic selves transcends physical form; it is rooted in our capacity to connect, to pleasure, and to love—ourselves and others.

If you or someone you know is struggling with body image and its impact on their sexuality, seek professional help. The path to self-acceptance and sexual liberation is within reach, and the rewards of this journey are boundless.

Embrace your erotic blueprint and let the light of understanding and compassion guide you toward a life of sexual fulfillment and intimate connection. I stand at the ready! (debrashade.youcanbook.me) #shadesoasis #pleasure

Beducated Featured in Cosmopolitan

Photo from Beducated.com
Beducated Featured in Cosmopolitan as Top Edporn Site for Women
(Los Angeles, CA / July 17, 2024) — Leading sex-ed platform Beducated has been named among the top “35 Porn Sites for Women That Are Safe, Ethical and Extremely Hot”, according to a new article from Cosmopolitan magazine.
Beducated’s featuring Sex School, an edporn series of video courses from renowned Sex Educators, is singled out by Cosmo authors Rachel Varina and Sophie Saint Thomas for its informative topics such as ‘Redefine Erectile Dysfunction’, ‘Oral Sex in Action’, ‘Threesomes’, ‘Pleasure Mapping’, ‘Sexting’, ‘Hookups’ and ‘(Re)Discover Self Pleasure’, aimed at confronting social taboos and breaking cultural conventions in order to achieve a healthy and satisfying sex life.
Beducated co-founder Mariah Freya also explains the concept of ethical porn to Cosmo readers, which “is made consensually, treats performers with respect, and pays performers and filmmakers fairly for their work… it also often portrays more authentic representations of sex, featuring diverse body types, queer relationships, and genuine female pleasure.
“It’s important to do your research by checking if the production really values principles like consent, fair treatment of performers, and authentic representation. Look for reviews or endorsements from reputable sources within the adult industry or advocacy groups focused on ethical production practices.”
To read the story “35 Porn Sites for Women That Are Safe, Ethical and Extremely Hot”, go to Cosmopolitan.com.
Visit Beducated.com to discover an insightful censor-free variety of 100+ pleasure-based sex education courses covering everything from self-pleasure to kink exploration, with subscriptions starting at $9.99 a month for an annual pass. Non-subscribers can also explore the service with a 24-hour free trial.
ABOUT BEDUCATED:
Beducated is the biggest pleasure-based sex education platform on the internet, with 100+ courses covering everything from self-pleasure to kink exploration. The library hosts thousands of lessons and extensive learning materials curated by world-class sex educators, coaches, and experts.
Founded by Mariah Freya and Phil Steinweber in 2018, Beducated began as a “Netflix for sexual education,” offering online access to sex and sexuality master classes via subscription. Their latest venture, the AI Sex Coach, is a comprehensive ‘intimacy assistant’ that provides detailed advice on sex and relationships, leveraging extensive training from thousands of sex education lessons and materials to foster an environment of shame-free sexual exploration. To learn more, visit Beducated.com.
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Press and media contact: Brian S. Gross | BSG PR | 818.340.4422 | [email protected] | @bsgpr