Sunday, December 8, 2024
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Erika Jordans Sex Advice For Men

Asking For Consent

With the me too movement some men have become gun shy and no longer understand clearly what consent entails so today let’s talk about What is consent?

Consent is a voluntary, enthusiastic, and clear agreement between the participants to engage in sexual activity. Period.

There is no room for different views on this. People incapacitated by drugs or alcohol cannot consent. If she’s slurring that she wants to have sex it’s now your job to think for both of you and politely decline. If she can’t walk a straight line or speak a coherent sentence she isn’t capable of agreeing to sex. 

If clear, voluntary, coherent, and ongoing consent is not given, it’s sexual assault. There aren’t different rules for people who’ve hooked up before.

Nonconsensual sex is rape.

Consent is clear and unambiguous. Is your partner enthusiastically engaging in sexual activity? Have they given verbal permission for each sexual activity? Then you have clear consent.

Silence is not consent. Never assume you have consent — you should clarify by asking. Once you start kissing your way down her stomach and she freezes don’t assume it’s because she’s impressed with your skills. Look up at her and ask her if she wants you to go down on her. 

You should have permission for every activity at every stage of a sexual encounter. It’s also important to note that consent can be removed at any time — after all, people do change their minds! If she’s saying yes, yes, yes and then NO!! The previous yeses are irrelevant. 

Failure to recognize that the other person was too impaired to consent is not “drunk sex.” It’s sexual assault. 

Consent should be given freely and willingly. Repeatedly asking someone to engage in a sexual act until they eventually say yes is not consent, it’s coercion.

Consent is required for everyone, including people who are in a committed relationship or married. No one is obliged to do anything they don’t want to do. And being in a relationship doesn’t obligate a person to engage in any type of sexual activity.

It’s important to understand that any type of sexual activity without consent, including touching, fondling, kissing, and intercourse, is a form of sexual assault and may be considered a crime.

Both parties should feel comfortable communicating their needs without feeling fearful. If you’re initiating sex, and you become angry, frustrated, or insistent when your partner declines any sexual activity, this is not okay. Reminding her of nice things you’ve done in the past just makes you a dick. And means everything you did was laced with ulterior motives.

Sexual or nonsexual activity that occurs because of fear, guilt, or pressure is coercion — and it’s a form of sexual assault. If you’re engaging in sexual activity and the person declines to go further or seems hesitant, stop for a moment and ask them if they’re comfortable doing that activity or if they want to take a break.

Let them know you don’t want to do anything they don’t feel 100 percent comfortable with, and that there’s no harm in waiting and doing something else.

In any sexual encounter, it’s the responsibility of the person initiating sexual activity to ensure that the other person feels comfortable and safe.

You might worry that asking for consent is going to be a total mood killer, but the alternative — not asking for consent and potentially sexually assaulting someone — is unacceptable.

Consent doesn’t mean having to sit down for a clinical discussion or signing forms! There are ways to ask for consent that aren’t a total buzzkill.

Besides, if you’re comfortable enough to want to get closer, then you should be comfortable enough to ask for consent. 

My six week course Playmate Pickup is now available at Playmatepickup.com with personalized

Who’s Your Daddy

Let’s talk about the word Daddy. Most women have at one point heard who’s your Daddy? In my early 20s I was not a fan. I immediately thought of my own father who was a vile human being that left me with a series case of daddy issues.. I went to therapy for years. Every self help seminar in sight… I pursued comedy as a form of therapy and creating content became art therapy for me. As I came to accept myself I realized that the neglect and abuse I suffered as a kid helped shape me. I could heal from it and move on but it’s woven into my foundation. It’s not shameful to have a hole in your heart. We are all beautiful complex statues and our variations, chips and missing pieces are part of what makes us unique and beautiful.

As I started to accept myself the way I was I realized that I was happiest in relationships where the man is a head of me in life. A bit smarter, more successful.. I was happiest when the man took care of me. It worked for me because it filled the void in my heart. All of a sudden I adored the word “Daddy.” It never meant father to me. I’ve never called my actual father anything besides his first name. Daddy is a protector. Daddy’s got this.. all the things my dad never was.

Lately I’ve encountered a few men that were confused when their lover referred to them as daddy in bed. They got concerned and turned off. It’s not for everyone and it’s important to know it means something different to every person. Some might like role playing daddy / little girl. Some might incorporate it into their bdsm fun. It’s not a bad thing to ask, what does Daddy mean to you?

For me Daddy is a vibe. It’s not about male or female. They are alpha, they are in control, they are confident, generous, strong and always has my back. That’s Daddy.

For more of Erika in the audio world check out Secrets of a Sexologist.

Erika Jordan

Certified Love Coach, NLP practitioner

My six week course, The Art of Pickup, is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com

Lelo Ina Wave Review by Erika Jordan

New! Lelo Ina Wave Video Review by Erika Jordan

Watch here on Youtube- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyhoO3qPBtg

Erika Jordan reviews the Ina Wave by Lelo in her latest video post on Youtube.

Set patterns, wild variations, g-spot stimulation, something for everyone!

Most impressive of the products that Erika tried, she had two orgasm in the first few minutes! Or, as she likes to call it, “Lazy Masturbation!” LOL! aka: Very  minimal work for extreme results! She also likes that it was rechargeable, plug it in, charge it, and its ready to go, just like your phone. The clit stimulation part was perfect, with even vibrations that took her clit stimulation to a whole new level of WOW! A complete wave of ecstasy…

Get creative with it, its a lot of fun. Find what works for you.

Definitely Erika’s FAV toy by Lelo thus far. A BIG Winner!

Lelo is a wonderful brand. The Channel of Sex Toys!

Get the Lelo Ina Wave Here!

 

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Masturbate Your Way To Greatness

Erika Jordan Podcast

Erika Jordan is back with another episode of the Playmate Pickup podcast. This week in honor of Masturbation May she dives right in with Masturbate Your Way To Greatness. Since this is Erika the stories will be revealing and all about masturbation. Erika includes news about the health benefits of masturbation. Also includes the tips you need to ensure your self love is all it can be.

Not every episode of self love needs to be a solo adventure. Let Erika Jordan guide you with The Ultimate Sex Game.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Cutting It Up With Renee Olstead

Playmate Pickup Podcast

Catch brunch with a child star, a singer, a OnlyFans star, a late night star and couple of psychology students. All wrapped up in a couple of multi talented gals trying to get by in a fractionated world. Listen in on a conversation between Erika Jordan and Renee Olstead.

Instagram: XORenee

OnlyFans: XOReneeVIP

For more hot talk go back to the beginning with Erika Jordan and the birth of the Playmate Pickup Podcast.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, Playmate Pickup is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

 

Why You Need a Ginger

I was raised with old-fashioned values so in an attempt to keep my numbers down I had a ginger. I’m going to tell you what a ginger is and why you need one..

No, I’m not talking about a redhead! I’m talking about the ginger you eat in between sushi rolls to cleanse your palette!

Your relationship ends you’re dealing with sadness, disappointment, anger. After some time goes by you know you’re not entirely ready to fall in love but you’re lonely and horny. After a relationship ended I had a guy I called and he knew damn well to break into the “I’m sorry it didn’t work out. You need a drink”. We would go on a trip together and have amazing passionate sex and then go back to our respective lives. It doesn’t become a thing it is what it is. I call it a ginger because it’s like cleansing the pallet between entrees.

For me I found that it helps to prevent some of the issues from the previous relationship to follow you into the next. If you go straight into your next relationship you’re likely to be triggered by things that remind you of your ex and occasionally have trouble separating this new person from your last. It might not be for everyone but it’s definitely worked out for me.

For life on the wild side check out Erika Jordan with Carol and David on the Playmate Pickup Podcast.

Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence, and get them to want you!!!! Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, Playmate Pickup is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Swingers Podcast – Swinging with Carol and David

Playmate Pickup Podcast

Many of you are curious about the swinging life and want to know what it entails and if it’s for you. SO, Erika Jordan brought on Carol and David, the king and queen of swinging!

There are certain terms you should become familiar with right away. Phrases like “hard swap” essentially denote couples who are open to having full-on sexual relations with another couple. Or, a “unicorn” refers to a woman who attends swingers events alone – yes, this isn’t just for couples. Other terms to know are “soft swap,” which is basically the opposite of what a hard swap is and that everything is on the table except for sex. And, last but not least, the phrase is “the lifestyle” refers to the – you guessed it – the swinger lifestyle.

For life on the funny side check out Erika Jordan and Tenere Williams in The Girlfriend Experience Zoom Style. For the very creative this may work for swinging also.

Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence, and get them to want you!!!! Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Erika Jordan Certified Love Coach, NLP Practitioner

Champagne Bath What Are You Waiting For

Today I am gonna blow your mind! You know how things that taste good or feel good are usually bad for you? Like Twinkies and bacon.. WELL!!!! Have you tried a champagne bath? Champagne contains resveratrol, a potent antioxidant that can act as a shield against damage and provides serious anti-aging benefits. Champagne can be used as a toner to help promote clear skin. The polyphenols found in champagne help reduce inflammation and skin redness, while the tartaric acid evens out tone. Mind blown.

This sounds cool and all but what does this have to do with relationships or sex?! A few weeks ago I was shooting a custom video in which I had to pour 2 bottles of champagne on myself. The bubbles felt like a light electricity on my skin. Insanely arousing.. so I immediately wondered why I had never incorporated this into my sex life and I dug in!

Of course if we filled an actual bathtub with a sugary champagne, although decadent, we could end up with a yeast infection or a UTI. Most of the champagne baths you see online are made to look like champagne with a foam on the surface and water underneath. Although you can find spas and hotels that offer champagne baths. I recommend taking a shower afterwards. Back to bubbles of electricity on my skin. The sensation of the bubbles dancing on my skin was truly magical. I highly recommend you incorporate this trick into your sex life to keep things sexy!

For more of that tingling sensation listen to Erika Jordan with How To Get A Woman To Touch You.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Erika Jordan

Certified Love Coach, NLP Practitioner

There Are More Than Two Genders

Newsflash! There are more than 2 types of gender.

I felt the need to clarify after encountering numerous videos pointing to text that says, “there are only 2 genders.” This misinformation is dismissive of real live human beings who just happen to not fit into our societal gender norms.

There are many different gender identities. Such as male, female, transgender, gender neutral, non-binary, agender, pangender, genderqueer, two-spirit, third gender etc. But first let’s talk about your definition of gender?

What’s a male? Anyone who has a penis? What 1s a person who was born with ovaries and a penis?

Some people conclude XY chromosome means male and XX chromosome means female. Well then what about XXY chromosomes or XXXY?

Whatever your definition of male or female it is simply your interpretation. It is wrong to not accept something simply because you do not fully understand it. Our societies need to force people into male or female is not universal. Australia recognizes a third gender, in South Asia they call the third gender hijra.

Intersex is a term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with sexual anatomy or a reproductive system that doesn’t ft the typical definition of male or female. 1-2 out of 100 people are born intersex. There are more intersex individuals than red heads and we would not think to deny their existence. Our closed mindedness not only refuses to acknowledge the existence of over 70 million people in the world. But we shame them and attempt to force them into choosing male or female. In an attempt to make their child “normal” some parents even opt for surgery that can create irreversible physical and psychological harm.

If a person is born with XXY chromosomes or XXXY it does not necessarily result in a condition where there is discrepancy between internal and external genitalia. There might be problems with sex hormone levels, sperm count, overall sexual development, or altered number of sex chromosomes. A person could go their entire life not knowing they do not fit into the gender norm.

The people who deny the existence of a third gender, often consider themselves conservative and religious implying that God has a plan. And yet somehow messed up with anyone who does not fit neatly into the male or female category. Other cultures celebrate the third gender. Perhaps they have a perspective that the average person can’t understand. Whatever the case may be at the very least we should all acknowledge that there are more than two genders. This is not an opinion this is based on facts. People that don’t fit into the gender norm deserve to be acknowledged and accepted the way they are.

If this is still confusing time to go back and let Erika Jordan help. Let us explore the differences in the two most common genders in Men and Women Are Different.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Erika Jordan

Certified Love Coach, NLP Practitioner

Men and Women Are Different: How to Communicate About Sex

Men and women are so different they seem to come from different planets. Or at least that is what John Grey the author of the New York Times best seller, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus claims. Embracing and accepting our differences will help us maintain healthy relationships.

But what does this mean? Men are able to focus on narrow issues while blocking out unrelated information and distractions. Women naturally see everyday things from a broader, “big-picture” vantage point. We can all recall walking by a couple where the woman is chatting away and guy is seemingly staring into space. The man might really care for her but just can’t tune in to all the mind numbing details. Men prefer to get to the point quickly instead of walking around the point in circles.

Instead of getting into the complex mind of a female, I will simply point out five major points. That if employed will help you communicate much better with women.

1: I don’t know, what do you want to do? We all hate this question but it is one that is asked quite often. When she asks you a question, it is best to always have an answer. Even if you have no preference where to eat just say the first place that pops into your mind. Always having an answer sets a tone and creates a pattern that has her seeing you as the solution man and a man who cares. Don’t pretend to know more than you do. A lie is visible from space. I will look into that is a viable answer. I have heard many times that a woman’s favorite three words is some form of “I’ve got this”.

2: Communication not interrogation. You have heard people say if you get her talking about herself she will feel like she is having a good time and connecting with you. This is true but it doesn’t mean interrogate her. Asking her a steady stream of questions makes her feel like you are genuinely interested in her. Contribute to the conversation and make sure you relate to her and evoke emotion. Make sure that you ask open ended questions that require more than one word as a response and can turn into a conversation. “What do you like about living in Los Angeles?”

3: Learning to drive a woman. If you want something to change in the relationship it is going to require time. Take time as you sit together, cook together, eat together, travel together to voice your dissatisfaction with certain aspects of the relationship. Just do it in a calm fashion. Tone of voice is about half of the communication so pay attention to your tone. Reassure her that you are happy (if you are) with the overall relationship. You just want one or two things to change. When she has the mic be an active listener, don’t look around or just sit there, and don’t say “uh uh” every few seconds. Watch her body language, tone and proceed like they taught us in drivers ed. IPDE. Identify, predict, decide and execute.

4: No unnecessary apology. Most women I know think a man comes off as a wimp when he starts every sentence off with “I’m sorry.” Don’t apologize for not agreeing with her. Don’t apologize for wanting to watch the game (unless it’s during her grandmothers funeral). Not only will you over-use “sorry” but it will not have the same impact when you really mean it.

5: Don’t argue with crazy. When I say “Don’t argue with crazy.” I mean that to a woman, she’s not being crazy at the moment. Even though every other person on this earth would clearly side with your opinion.  They are what they are and you attempting to rationalize or solve the problem isn’t always the right thing to do. If she starts crying during a cat commercial because the cat is “just so fluffy,” the smart thing to do is simply put your arm around her and attempt to put yourself in her shoes. Is she suffering from PMS, did her cat just die, or did she forget to take her meds? Regardless of where she is on the crazy scale the right way to deal with something you see is illogical or “crazy” is to sympathize with it and bring some humor into the situation if possible to lighten the mood.

Since much of communication is listening time to review the previous post from Erika Jordan, How To Listen To A Woman.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!