You are fascinating! Can you give us your back story?
Well…the short version is: I have been a full-time professional dominatrix for over 20 years. My interest in it began when I was curious about the psychology of BDSM while I was in my master’s program in counseling psychology. I wrote a few papers on it then, and then when I went into my doctorate program in clinical psychology, I continued writing papers on it, and eventually writing my doctoral dissertation on it.
I am the founder of a psychologically-based, worldwide Dominatrix Training Program—The Evolutionary Dominatrix™ Academy. Which is a one-of-a-kind, comprehensive, high-level mentorship program in the art and mastery of Female Domination. In which I certify Dominatrixes upon graduation. I am also a certified sexologist, specializing in kink-centered life coaching.
As a coach I’ve often struggled with destructive patterns in my clients. I’ve wondered if maybe the gentle guidance approach is ineffective for some and they need something more. How did you come up with incorporating BDSM into your therapy?
BDSM, when practiced correctly, is in and of itself, a healing modality. There is a tremendous amount of trust and understanding being built in the foundation of the pre-scene negotiations even before the session begins. The submissive feels seen, accepted, valued, and engaged with on levels that are very powerful and healing. When all of this is established in the safe, sane, consensual and ethical container of the session, we can freely “play” in the dark places that we don’t go to in the vanilla world.
How did you begin and how have you transformed since then?
I began my pro domme career as a psychology graduate student because I wanted to immerse myself in the subject that I was writing about. As I had mentioned earlier, and found that I was a “natural” dominant. This was not surprising, as I had always been dominant in my romantic relationships. The transformation that I have experienced over the span of two decades is enormous. And I am still growing every day, as a domme, and as a woman. I love and accept people, especially men, on a deep level that I did not realize was possible. When they open up and show me their most vulnerable and intimate sides of themselves, I see them as the most beautiful beings on the planet.
Can you tell us about a success story you have had?
Literally all of the clients and subs that I have ever sessioned with is a success story. I am not exaggerating, nor trying to boast. I have a saying: “I am a Lightworker who plays in the Dark.” A lightworker is a healer—one who brings light to those whose lives they touch. After sessions, my subs feel a profound sense of happiness, not just in a momentary sense, but on a deep level, because the needs of this special kind of connection have been met.
What type of clients do you tend to attract?
I attract all types, but most of my clients are successful, high-educated, emotionally intelligent professionals.
How do you incorporate BDSM into a session when the client likes pain and see it as positive reinforcement?
There are two types of sessions that I do: traditional BDSM sessions and kink-centered life coaching. I do not mix the two, but if someone wants one form and then the other, we discuss and agree on the plan of action together. If there is a client that “likes pain,” then this would be a BDSM session. There are two basic dynamics that a BDSM session can take form: Domme/sub (domination) or Top/bottom.
When you ask about how to see pain as positive reinforcement, then this would most likely fall under a domination dynamic. When I do a “slave training” session with corporal punishment, I would usually frame the reasoning for the pain in these three ways for positive reinforcement: 1) taking pain as a regular practice makes them into a better submissive for me, 2) taking pain provides me pleasure as a sadist, 3) taking pain will atone for their transgressions.
Can you walk us through a session? I’m sure they’re all very different so just pick one you’d like to showcase.
There are countless scenarios for sessions, but I have a basic slave training program that I put many of my subs through, in which there are 4 categories. I have created the acronym WAPP! (the sound of an implement hitting an ass) to signify the 4 categories: Worship, Abasement, Pain and Penetration.
All of these things will make for a better slave. Abasement is making the sub lower than the Domme, to help them understand their lower status. This can be having the sub kneel, crawl, pulled by collar and leash. Pain can be corporal or cock and ball torture or nipple torture, commonly. Penetration can be anything put in any orifice of the sub’s body: ass, mouth, urethra, ears, and nostrils. Worship is making the slave worship the domme by kissing or massaging her feet, shoes, and boots (commonly).
Is your dungeon available to anyone besides your clients? Do you rent it out?
My dungeon, The Chi Temple, is my private play space, available to a selected few Domme friends who rent it for sessions. I also run my in-person workshops there: The Dominatrix Archetype™ Workshop, and the Advanced BDSM Workshop.
What is your favorite thing about BDSM?
I feel blessed to be able to bond with people in this very special, profound, intimate way. The relationships I have built in the BDSM world are lifelong and treasured.
Would you say your occupation has bled into your personal life and if so in what way?
I would say that my occupation has helped me practice very clear boundaries, confidence, knowing who I am, and zero victim mentality. The dommes I know also have these strengths and more.
How can someone sign up for a session with you?
People can go to my website, MistressDamianaChi.com to apply for a BDSM session, and BDSMsexologist.com to apply for a kink-centered coaching session.
What kind of client is the right fit for you?
Someone who is respectful, polite, sincere, open about who they are and what they are looking for, follows direction, not a timewaster.
Tell us about a time you had to end a session prematurely because the client was out of line.
This has never happened in my 20+ years of sessions because I have a really effective screening protocol. There was only a mismatch a long time ago, early in my career, where there was a guy who acted strangely, and afterwards I found out that he was high on cocaine. Since then, I have had a zero tolerance policy for substance abuse during sessions.
How do you treat destructive patterns?
I do not see people with destructive patterns. In these cases I refer them to friends of mine who are kink-aware psychotherapists. I am not a practicing, licensed psychotherapist, although I have been trained as one.
What do you do when the client comes to you to end his love of BDSM or a particular fetish?
I have never had a request from anyone who wants to end his love of BDSM or a fetish. As a sexologist, I work with clients in an empathic, coaching-style approach in support of a sex-positive kink/BDSM lifestyle, focusing on building a healthy self-image and self-acceptance. If someone has a desire for BDSM to an unhealthy degree, I believe that there are other mental imbalances at play. In which case, I would refer them out to kink-aware psychotherapists.
Tell us about your program? Who is it best suited for? Where can they find it?
The Evolutionary Dominatrix™ Academy is a one-of-a-kind, psychologically-based, comprehensive, high-level mentorship and certification program in the art and mastery of Female Domination. It is best suited for women (cis and trans women, and non-binary femme people) who highly value their personal and/or professional growth, the development of their female domination mastery skills, and a comprehensive BDSM education. The website is Academy.TheEvolutionaryDominatrix.com.
Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. is a professional and lifestyle dominatrix who has held a full-time practice for over 20 years at The Chi Temple, her elegantly-appointed BDSM studio in Los Angeles, enjoying a range of clientele and subs, from novice to seasoned. She holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology, an M.A. in counseling psychology, B.A. in behavioral sciences, and is a certified sexologist, specializing in kink-centered coaching.
Mistress Damiana is the founder The Evolutionary Dominatrix™ Academy, in which she personally mentors women, in all parts of the world online, in the art of Female Domination with her self-developed psychologically-based methodology and domination framework, as well as an in-depth focus in submissive psychology. The marriage of her psychological background and passion for the BDSM arts and D/s dynamics gave birth to her evolutionary teachings, taking FemDom to a new level of excellence, connection and joy.
Mistress Damiana also offers in-person trainings, such as her signature course: The Dominatrix Archetype: A Psychological and Practical Methodology Workshop (for Academy students or accepted applicants), and The Advanced BDSM Workshop (for Academy students or alumni).
Go to BDSMsexologist.com for more information about consultations and coaching, and MistressDamianaChi.com to apply for private BDSM sessions.
For more hot talk go back to the beginning with Erika Jordan and the birth of the Playmate Pickup Podcast.
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