Valentine’s Day is known as the ‘Love Holiday’ with all its sugary yumminess. Everything is happy. You have ‘Love’ written on everything. This is the one day you can be oh, so sweet. But all that ‘Love’ around can bring about anxiety and depression. You might have experienced this. You are not alone. Many people have an array of emotions. In this article we will be looking at couples and singles and how to help ensure a less stressful day.
Couples:
You are both thinking, Okay, what do I get the other?
- Flowers
- Candy
- Stuffed Animal
- Jewelry
- Gadgets
- Alcohol
- Clothing
- Dinner
You go and get the gift of your choosing for your ‘date’. It is said that males will spend twice as much as females. Here lies the next potential dilemma. How is my partner going to react to what I got them? So many couples have encountered this one because expectations were set too high on both sides. One, or both, can actually feel pressure.
An example of what I mean by this is, you have one that is over the moon thinking that they nailed the gift. In their mind, their date is going to love it, and when the gift is given, it is met with less than enthusiasm. Now both are extremely disappointed with each other, and in the night.
Instead of feeling love, you both are full of tension. If the gifts are not the problem, you have the ever-looming anxiety of the unreasonable expectation about love and what that means to you and to your partner. On this day, there is an almost unspoken rule that sex will happen. Some think because it is the ‘love day’, while others feel that they spent money on you so this is what they get in return. This may sound harsh; it really is not meant to be. The point is this day has strings attached to it.
How do we make this day less stressful for both of you? Well, the key is to communicate with each other. Make plans together for this day. Be active in the planning of the day. If you are having a hard time deciding on where to eat, there is this game where you ask the other one to guess where we are going to dinner.
The other partner guesses and they are automatically right. This tactic took down the wall and they could freely say where they wanted to go and there was no preselected location. And when there is no push back, it becomes a win. As far as a gift, everyone’s taste is different. Try to do something that the other really likes. For instance, if she likes flowers, buy her some flowers; if he likes gadgets, get him a gadget. The trick on this day is to make it about you two.
Here are some things you can do together:
- Feed each other your food of choice.
- Take a bubble bath or shower, washing each other.
- Give each other a massage.
- Snuggle up while watching a movie.
The common factor of each of these items is they are fun, relaxing, enjoyable, and there is no pressure of failure.
Singles:
This may surprise you, but the trick for you is that you should spoil yourself on this day. The night before the day, write a note on a post-it saying ‘I am Beautiful/Handsome’ and put it on your bathroom mirror. This is going to be the first thing you see in the morning and it is going to start you day off on the right foot.
On this day, it is all about being positive and having self-love. Buy a little, or a big, something for yourself. It could be chocolates, jewelry, a gadget, etc. This is a day when many single people feel alone. On this day people band together to have Anti-Valentine’s Day parties. This is not a made-
up thing just done for the movie Valentine’s Day. It is a real thing.
Whatever you choose to do, just know you are not alone. We all have been there from time to time. And something to remember, you might look over and see a happy couple, but keep in mind that ‘the grass is never actually greener on the other side’. Trust me, they have issues.
Whether you are a couple or single, remember that we put too much pressure on this day, making it almost impossible to live up to. Keep expectations reasonable and be thankful to yourself and to your partner. Go into this day with the right mind set and you might actually surprise yourself and have an enjoyable time. You never know, you could have a very pleasurable time on Valentine’s Day. Have fun and always keep things consensual.
