Sunday, February 25, 2024

Understanding the Cuckold: Why You Want to See Another Guy Screw Your Woman

Photo by Karley Saagi from Pexels

Some fantasies are strange – strange in the sense that they don’t sound logical on the surface. Yet cuckolding is a very common fantasy among men.

Given that several research studies have found that men tend to be more jealous of a partner’s infidelity than women, neuroscientists Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam, authors of A Billion Wicked Thoughts, found that “cuckold” was the second most popular sex-related search term in their data dive of sex-related Internet search terms from heterosexual men.

Search terms don’t lie. So why is it not so strange that a man would want to see another man bang his wife or girlfriend?

One reason is tied into the hotwife fantasy. If other men find a man’s significant other sexually desirable, it satiates his ego and his pride.

A lot of guys get off at the thought or watching their partner having sex with a guy who is more endowed than him. Sometimes it’s about watching his significant other having sex from a perspective he doesn’t have from being a direct participant. It’s like bringing porn to life; his wife or girlfriend is the porn star. Also, a lot of straight, bi and closeted men find big dicks sexually enticing. It’s really not much different from the reasons why women idolize female musicians, actresses and celebrities.

For some guys, cuckoldry is a form of masochism. They revel in the thought of having a man his wife finds more desirable fuck her in a way that he never could.

“Imagine looking at the guy who’s about to go to bed with your wife. Imagine hearing the man crying out in bed with your wife,” says Dr. Paul Pines, who pleasures himself “like a madman” during his cuckold encounters. “The high point of cuckolding is when your wife says she wants the other guy all the time and never wants you. Sally’s body makes it very clear that this is true. It hurts me worse to know this, so it’s better to know. Worst/best of all is watching Sally bond with the other man not only physically but emotionally when she’s masturbating him with her mind.”

Do guys like Dr. Pines have low self-esteem? Not usually, says sex therapist, researcher and Harvard University professor Dr. Justin Lehmiller.

In a survey he conducted about fantasies (cuckoldry was the No. 6 most popular fantasy among survey participants), Dr, Lehmiller says, “This finding (also) suggests the possibility that perhaps guys need to be fairly self-confident in order to share their partners with someone else (i.e., perhaps men are only aroused by the prospect of cuckolding to the extent that they know their partner will not be stolen away).”

Dr. Pines adds that the masochistic bent on cuckoldry requires a high degree of intellect.

“(It’s) truly intellectual in its enterprise because it replaces sexual touch with humiliation and emotional pain, both of which are psychological,” Dr. Pines says. “Most of what gives me physical pleasure has to go on in my brain. I’m totally being classist, but this isn’t like people in redneck bars asking each other, ‘You wanna fuck my wife?’ It’s much more complex. It’s pleasure on a different level.”

Competition gets some guys hard, as well.

“There are so many forms of substitute competition among men in our society, such as sports, that take the place of the real competition inside a woman’s body,” says sex therapist Dr. Susan Block, who operates a phone therapy program for cuckolds to fine-tune their fantasies and strategies.

What really is a fetish?

Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

ABCs of Fetishes

As I write my weekly blogs, I try to relate them to my weekly guest. When I sat down in our Hollywood studio with LA Kink Shrink, and spoke with Dr. Tom Murray a couple of weeks prior and then Dr. Lee Phillips whose episode will be released soon, I really got to thinking what other fetishes are out there that I am unaware of.

I know writing a blog on every single fetish would be a very long entry, but I thought I would touch on the more common fetish requests I receive as a webcam model and content creator and what they are. I will then break down some of these in detail in future entries as to some of the possible reasons some may choose to enjoy a particular fetish.

Age Play:


This is when either just one partner or both take on roleplaying a different age. A big one is the daddy/daughter or mommy/son. When this request comes to me as a webcam performer, I do require my “customer” to roleplay as legal age stepson with me, however, I do get requests of customers wanting to roleplay as a child which I choose not to do in my shows. However, age play can be fun when two consenting adults agree to take on a different age and play out a scenario.

Cuckolding:


Cuckolding is normally when the female half of a partnership either humiliates her partner by sleeping with another person in front of him or can even go and have sexual relations and come back and share their experience in a humiliating manner. This kink isn’t only for heterosexual couples—people of all genders and orientations can enjoy cuckolding. You can explore this kink through dirty talk or virtual sex with a third party.

Impact Play:


Impact play requires communication and consent from both partners. Almost any household item can be used for impact play, paddles, whips, wooden spoons really anything to “hit” the body, even your hand for erotic spanking. Stick to areas that are fatty and avoid where organs reside. Always begin this type of play and any other slowly. Establish a safe word if it is too painful and you need your partner to ease off.

Foot Fetishism

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Foot fetish is just as it sounds, someone who is turned on by feet. Anything from thinking about feet, touching, smelling, and even tasting feet. One-half of the partner will want to engage in foot worship, in which they desire to pamper their partner’s feet by kissing, caressing, and massaging them. The other side of a foot fetish is humiliation. The desire to want feet shoved in their face and mouth, or to have their partner walk all over them.

Humiliation


The most common example of humiliation is name-calling and verbal abuse. It is important to communicate with your partner how far to take the humiliation. For example, maybe behind closed doors, your partner wants to be told she is your naughty little slut but she will not tolerate the word “cunt”. You must together know boundaries. Then some men enjoy small penis humiliation. Being told they can never satisfy anyone with their small penis and they are not worthy. Always make sure you know your limits and communicate them.

Urophilia


This is the actual term for what many of us know as watersports or golden showers. This is Urine play. The most common way to enjoy pee play is to give or receive golden showers. Some say it is the warmth of the urine and others incorporate this fetish into humiliation play.

As with all fetishes, and trust me there are many many more, establish your limits, boundaries, and desires you want from engaging in the fetish. You know the saying, “Don’t knock it till you try it”.

Till next time,

Coralyn Jewel