Thursday, July 25, 2024

Tantric Orgasms Versus Regular Orgasms: Which are Better?

Tantric Orgasms
Photo by Sakshi Patwa from Pexels

While no orgasm is better than another, Tantric orgasms tend to be more expansive and last longer, while regular orgasms have a peak, then a quick release.

What Are Tantric Orgasms?

Tantric Orgasms are orgasmic states of bliss that can last much longer than one simple climax. The Tantra sexual experience is a leisurely, meditative, expanded pleasure practice, where the goal is not orgasm specifically (although that’s a bonus) but the sensual journey itself. During Tantric pleasure one focuses on the sensations of the body, and moving sexual energy throughout the body to experience states of spiritual enlightenment, transformation, intimacy, connection and healing (including premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and anorgasmia). It is less about performance and more about pleasure, as well as deep intimate connection.

This could be connection and intimacy with oneself, with a partner, with the divine, or with the universal creation energy itself. In a Tantric orgasm state, the duration of each orgasm is expanded, and one can experience multiple orgasms in a row, like waves. For vulva owners, this can include the release of ejaculate, but in penis owners, the goal is to orgasm without ejaculation.

What is a Regular Orgasm?

Most of us are very familiar with a regular orgasm, as it is the most typical type of orgasm most of us experience. In a regular orgasm, pleasure is focused in the genital area (the penis or clitoris) and ends with a quick, intensely pleasurable climax consisting of 8-10 contractions in the pelvic muscle, about 1 second apart.

“Orgasm typically – but not always – results from rhythmic stimulation of body parts with high concentrations of sensory receptors (Komisaruk & Whipple, 2011)… Although orgasm-producing activities are usually focused on the genitals, orgasm is sometimes achieved by stimulating other body parts, and sometimes even through thought alone.”[i]—Study: What is orgasm? A model of sexual trance and climax via rhythmic entrainment, by Adam Safron, MSc. Journal of Socioaffective Neuroscience & Psychology, Volume 6, 2016 – Issue 1.

Stages of Regular & Tantric Orgasms

Masters and Johnson, the famous sex researchers from the 60s, described 4 stages of orgasm. These include:

  1. Excitement
  2. Plateau
  3. Orgasm
  4. Resolution

Here’s a diagram to illustrate the phases of classical single orgasm (regular orgasm) and multiple or prolonged orgasm (Tantric orgasms). Orgasms

As you can see, in “regular” orgasms the arousal or excitement phase gradually increases over time with stimulation, climbs to a plateau and then climax. Immediately after orgasm, arousal declines rapidly, especially in penis owners.

1.    Excitement Phase

During the excitement phase vulva owners have increased vaginal lubrication and penis owners get a boner.

2.    Plateau Phase

During the plateau phase, vaginas become engorged with blood, and some penises may leak pre-cum, a clear, viscous fluid. People also experience an increase in heart rate and respiration.

3.    Orgasm Phase

Here we reach the point of no return, typically an 8-10 second climax.

4.    Resolution Phase

In resolution phase, the body relaxes and experiences a drop in blood pressure, breathing slows and most people feel like rolling over and going to sleep or cuddling.

So, regular orgasm is rather like climbing a mountain where you enjoy the peak for a short time, then come crashing down the other side.

Full-Body Extended Tantric Orgasms

It is commonly believed that only vulva owners can experience full-body, extended orgasms. But, penis owners can as well, if they learn to separate orgasm from ejaculation, which are two distinct processes, even though it feels like one.

With NEO (non-ejaculatory orgasms) the orgasm is circulated throughout the body instead of ejaculating through the penis. There is no refractory time in between orgasms. In this way, men or penis owners can become multi-orgasmic. Vulva owners can experience ejaculation during multiple and extended orgasms as the refractory phase is much shorter and they are able to hold arousal longer.

Full-body extended orgasms are not necessarily one long orgasm, although some may feel this way, but a series of peaks with quick pause in between, as pictured in the image (Multiple and Prolonged Orgasm).

How to Experience Tantric Orgasms

Photo by Dima Valkov from Pexels

If you want to experience Tantric orgasms via masturbation, remember that this type of practice (and, yes, it is a practice and takes practice) is not a sprint to the finish line, but rather a series of techniques that take time to explore at a leisurely pace.

Focus on the Breath:

When you focus on the breath during sex or masturbation it allows you to slow down or speed up the various phases of orgasm. Quick “fire” breathing stimulates and can cause arousal to heighten more quickly, whereas, slowing the breath can prolong arousal, leading to longer orgasms. For penis owners this means you can prolong arousal without ejaculation, which is great if you experience premature ejaculation. For women who may have a hard time reaching orgasm, a quick “fire” breath can help build arousal to orgasm.

Pumping the Hips & Kegels:

As you self-pleasure, rock your hips as you lay on your back, squeezing your PC muscle (kegels) and releasing in a regular rhythm. Continue to focus on the breath with each squeeze as well. This will build sexual energy and help circulate it throughout the body.

Pleasure Touch:

Don’t only focus on the genitals during this practice. As you stimulate the clitoris, also, do vulva massage and g-spot massage to stimulate different areas. Include breast massage and touching yourself all over with feather-light touch. This goes for penis owners as well. Massage the balls, the perineum, ass cheeks, and other sensitive areas of the skin.

Visualize the Energy:

Visualize the sexual energy rising from the genitals and moving up the front of the body going through the chakras, then coming back down the back (spine) of the body in a microcosmic orbit. This also helps to circulate the sexual energy for a more expanded pleasure and orgasm.

Teasing and Edging:

With edging you tease your body with pleasure until just before orgasm, then back off (pause or stop) reducing stimulation while taking long deep breaths. Once you have allowed your arousal to lessen a bit, you can touch yourself in other areas for about 30 seconds to a minute, then build the stimulation and arousal back up again, using the techniques above. Then pause, and reduce stimulation once again, then resume more intense stimulation. Continue this for as long as you can stand, over and over. When you finally go over the edge, you will experience a much more powerful and extended orgasm. Penis owners may experience their erections softening, then hardening again, which is natural and will not interfere with orgasm.

NEO: Non-Ejaculatory Tantric Orgasms:

In Tantric sex, NEO are orgasms without ejaculation for penis owners. This can be experienced by practicing the microcosmic orbit, a technique made popular by Mantak Chia in The Multi-Orgasmic Man.

“By practicing semen retention, you can learn to move that sexual, orgasmic energy through your body so you feel the sensation of having an orgasm without actually ejaculating. This technique will help you transmute the urge to ejaculate into a rush of full-body orgasmic energy.”—Tantric Educator, Psalm Isadora MindBodyGreen.[ii]

Valley Tantric Orgasms:

If peak orgasms are regular orgasms or “tension and release” orgasms, then valley orgasms are the opposite and happen when you slow down and relax. “Rather than tensing around it and focusing it in the genitals, we soften the body around the arousal.”[iii] This allows the pleasure and sensation to spread over the entire body and not just be localized to the genital region, which in turn can produce a more “expanded” orgasmic experience. This type of relaxing, or “softening” of the body can be done at any time, not only during sex or self-pleasure, which allows for an orgasmic state of being with no beginning and no end. Rather than living life “desensitized” we re-sensitize the body to experience orgasmic states at any time, or even all the time. How far out and amazing is that?

Sound Off:

Making sounds during sexual pleasure (moaning, load breathing and ah-breath exhales) helps bring sexual energy up the body to open the throat chakra (which is energetically connected to the vulva, vagina and pelvic floor), thus circulating the energy and aiding in extending your orgasm as well as experiencing multiple orgasms. Using lower-pitched sounds direct energy down the body toward the genitals, and using higher pitched sounds moves energy upward towards the throat.

Do it Again:

Once you have achieved orgasm (in penis owners this will not include ejaculation), get back on that horse and ride it a gain. In other words, enjoy a slight pause, then begin self-stimulation once again, going through all the steps above. This should result in wave after wave of multiple orgasms, with various peaks and valleys that can last anywhere for 1-5 minutes, or even an hour or more. The more you practice the more you will be able to extend your orgasm over time and experience more full-body, expanded and multiple orgasms.

What do Tantric Orgasms Feel Like?

Photo by Lucas Pezeta from Pexels

Everyone will experience their orgasm in their own way, and individuals will experience distinct orgasms at different times.

That said, Annie Sprinkle has described various types of expanded orgasm including the regular “tension and release” type orgasm, that is localized on the body such as clitoral, penis, nipple-gasms, micro-orgasms (sneeze-gasms, cellular-gasms, goosebumps aka orgabumps), dream-gasms, g-spot and cervical orgasms, breath and energy orgasms, combination-gasms or combination orgasms (both clitoral and g-spot), and finally megagasms which she describes as “the volcano or tsunami of all orgasms” which is “an intense fully body experience… that lasts an extended length of time.”[iv]

Other people have described Tantric orgasms as spiritual, feels like waves of pleasure going through the body, tingling all-over, especially the extremities (fingers and toes), contractions in the body, especially the genitals, rhythmical and voluntary movement, energy rushing up from the genitals to shoot out of the crown chakra, a release of tension, the release of hormones and neurochemicals (dopamine, norepinephrine, oxytocin and vasopressin), feelings of being “high”, orgasmic auras as well as visual and auditory hallucinations, loss of control, altered states of consciousness, trance states, ecstasy, expansion of the mind/body/spirit, connection to Source, release of emotions (laughter, giggling, crying), feeling as if you are in an expanded space and pure bliss!

What are the Benefits of Tantric Orgasms?

Why would one want to experience Tantric orgasms? The most obvious reason is more pleasure and stronger, longer lasting orgasms.

But here are some other benefits as well:

  • Altered states of consciousness, expansion of the mind, and feelings of being high.
  • Extended periods of orgasmic states of being.
  • Connection to spirit, Source, nature, the cosmos and universe.
  • Greater intimacy with your lover or yourself.
  • Improve relationships with your partner.
  • Greater self-love and body awareness/ acceptance.
  • Less stress, reduces anxiety, more relaxation, being less triggered by emotions, better sleep, fights off depression.
  • Increased blood flow to keep the genitals and body health, improving cardiovascular health and the heart’s function.
  • Increased feel-good hormones and natural pain relievers such as dopamine and serotonin to reduce headaches, menstrual cramps, aches and chronic back pain.
  • Happier, calmer, feeling good.
  • Aids concentration, creativity, and greater brain activity, and improves mental health.
  • Better health: Masturbation improves the immune system’s function, by increasing testosterone into the body to help the flow of the hormone DHEA, which reportedly helps reduce the signs of aging, reduces symptoms of menopause, reduces obesity, and may help reduce the risk of osteoporosis in older women by increasing bone mass, and boosts immunity.






Tantra Sex Positions to Open Your Chakras

If you are looking for more intimacy and connection during sex with your partner, as well as balance your chakras, try these Tantra Sex Positions to enhance and integrate your divine feminine and masculine energies.

Tantra Sex Positions

Make a ritual to do these at least once a week with your lover and focus especially on weak or closed Chakras.

Rooted: Sit opposite your lover on the floor with legs crossed at the ankles, hold hands and look at each other as you tell your lover what makes you feel safe, grounded and confident.

Sexual Chakra: Sit opposite your lover on the floor with legs crossed at the ankles, lean in, hold hands and look at each other. Take turns speaking and listening as you share the following. When do you feel creative, sexually open and uninhibited?

Chakra Hug: Get into Yab Yum position; one lover in the other’s lap and press as many of your Chakras into each other as you can. Close your eyes and listen to each others breath for 2 minutes. Then discuss how this experience made you feel.

Intuition: Lean in, touch noses, join brows (third eye Chakras) and look into each others eyes until they appear to merge. Share an intuitive thought you’re having right now with your lover: “I love you and my intuition tells me that …. (finish the sentence)”.

Chakra Caress: Ask your lover to lie down and you kneel beside him/her. Gently caress each one of your lover’s charkas with your fingertips and express your adoration for each one.

Chakra Tune Up: Sit facing each other, ask your lover to close their eyes and take a deep breath. Ask your lover to respond to the following question for each of the following Chakras. Are you feeling strong or weak about your crown Chakra? Third Eye? Throat? Heart? Solar Plexis? Sacral? Root? Now alternate.

Confidence: Kneel in front of each other, hold hands and eye-gaze as you tell your lover what makes you feel confident and powerful.

Open Heart: Stand facing each other, heart to heart with arms around each other and take turns telling each other when you feel loving and compassionate.

Self Expression: Sit in a comfortable position facing each other, hold hands and eye-gaze. In two or three sentences, describe how you want other people to see and hear you.

Wisdom: Look at your lover in whatever position you are in, hold hands as you express one life lesson that you have learned.

Hip Circles: This exercise will open up your solar plexus, sacral and root Chakras. Stand up and face each other. With your knees bent slightly, push your pelvis forward; hands on hips. Now rotate your pelvis in large circles clock-wise 10 times and then counter-clock wise 10 times. Keep your head and feet still while moving only your pelvis area. Focus on opening up your sensuality.

Mind Over Matter: This stretching exercise will open up your crown, third eye and throat Chakras. Lie down flat on your back on a hard surface like the floor with your feet touching. Then raise your head, shoulders and back to a seated position. Place your hands on your hips or on the floor if you need support and tip your head back looking up to the sky. Breathe deeply through your nose and exhale through your mouth five times. Focus on opening up your mind.

Love Talk: Put your hand on your lover’s heart Chakra and tell him/her what you love most about them.

Make Your Sensual Massage Magical

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

When you have one of those rare nights when you have lots of time to spend with your lover, plan a sensual massage. Sensual massage is all about relaxing the mind and the body, finding new ways and places to enjoy intimacy, and it can take the pressure off performance.

Setting the Mood and Things You’ll Need

Music: Set the mood with quiet music in the background that has a slow rhythmic beat. Think of your music choices, preferably acoustic instrumentals, as if it was subliminal seductive white noise. Youtube has some great sensual relaxation music, if you don’t have a clue to where to start looking for massage music.

Lights: Dim the lights and light some candles. Aside from providing a soft glow of light, soy and hemp seed oil candles are some the best massage lubricants you can use. They melt at lower temperatures, about 100 degrees, and the oils are safe and beneficial for your skin.

Massage Candles: I recommend massage candles that are made with essential oils that are skin-safe, absorb into the skin, and scent the air with “real” aromas. The power of aromatherapy goes a long way into setting a romantic mood. Resist the urge to buy massage candles that smell overly flowery or fruity. Guys have to wear this scent on their skin, too. Choose exotic and mysterious scents, and the candles burn up to 40 hours. And, no, melted massage candle wax does not dry hard or leave a waxy residue on skin. It soaks into skin like a moisturizer.

Massage Oils: Massage lotions and oils have their benefits, too. One of the biggest advantages to using massage lotion is that you can put a big dollop of it on your shoulder and take a swipe of it when you need more. It’s a lot easier than trying to find where you left the bottle. A key to a great massage is to keep your hands on your partner at all times with no interruptions.

Heated Oils: Massage oils feel best when they go on the skin warm. There are several massage oils that have ingredients that feel warm when you rub them into the skin or blow on them. There are also several excellent scented and unscented natural massage oils that can be easily warmed by keeping the bottles in a bowl of hot or warm water. Be warned that just like cooking oils, natural massage oils should be used within 45-90 days before they start smelling rancid. You can use them as a bath or after-bath body oil to make sure they don’t go to waste.

Why make a big deal about massage candles, lotions and oils? Because It’s easier to give and more pleasurable to receive a full-body massage when hands and skin or well-oiled. And the feeling of oiled hands, fingers and forearms sliding on your body is a sensual pleasure onto itself.

Massage Techniques

If you don’t know how to give a massage, don’t worry. Erotic, sensual massages aren’t intended to be therapeutic in a musculoskeletal kind of way. It fulfills a quench for touch and making love to your partner’s body, not just his or her genitals.

Tantric Massage: Tantric massage involves gentle touches that make contact with every part of the body. It’s all about seduction through pampering, exploring erogenous zones, slow and deep breathing, and clearing the mind. For as gentle and almost passive as it seems and feels, tantric sex does wonders for eliminating muscular tension, helping to make the body more limber and responsive for sex. For some people, tantric massage takes away a lot of performance anxiety.

Start by having your partner sitting in an upright position in front of you, then into your lap, and then lying on his or her back. Start by gently and slowly stroking your partner’s head, neck and hair before working your way down the body. Tantric massage is not about applying pressure; it’s about focusing on the most unsuspecting erogenous parts of the body, even the nose and eyebrows, sometimes only using fingertips.

Nuru Massage: Nuru means “slippery” in Japanese, and nuru massage is typically the kind of massage associated with Asian massage parlors. The key to this massage is having both partners oil their bodies so the partner giving the massage can slip and slide her (it’s usually the woman, but nothing says a man can’t do this)body on top of her partner’s body while stroking arms, legs, shoulders, back and other obvious places. Extremely well-oiled skin brings a whole new dimension to body-to-body contact and movement. It doesn’t take long until both partners are massaging each other, almost bypassing foreplay, and having the Disneyland Splash Mountain equivalent of sex.

Wet makes a super slippery nuru gel that’s specifically made for nuru massage, but most massage oils and melted massage candle waxes work just as well as I’ve learned from experience. You’ll also want to use an old sheet or a nuru sheet to protect your bedding.

Regardless of which technique you use, don’t fuss or stress out about mastering or completing it on the first, second or even 100th try. If it leads to mind-blowing sex, you’ve done it right.

Previously published at:

How to Create Better Sex & Intimacy with the Kama Sutra

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

What is the Kama Sutra?

The Kama Sutra has been a source of great mystery and excitement for lovers seeking sexual adventure.  The Kama Sutra is Sanskrit (ancient Hindu language) for Desire Rules and is the earliest and best known Indian sex manual.  It was written by an Indian sage, Vatsyayana between the 1st and 4th Centuries AD.  Then it was translated into English by the 19th Century British explorer Sir Richard F. Burton in 1876.  With each translation, the Kama Sutra’s contents have become more distorted, so I would like to give you the explanation of the original Kama Sutra.

The Kama Sutra is renowned for its creative sexual positions, a total of 64 that Vatsyayana derived from eight ways of making love, multiplied by eight positions.

I was impressed when I found out that the Kama Sutra reveals a total of 40 different ways to kiss your lover, but I was disappointed to discover the Kama Sutra’s distaste (excuse the pun) to oral sex.  Vatsyayana wrote, “It should not be done because it is opposed to the moral code.”

The writer may not have been orally inclined, but he was definitely into BDSM because he recommends biting and scratching as ways of improving lovemaking.

There are some interesting flirting and seduction tips in the Kama Sutra for men who want to be irresistible to women; it recommends that he tie the bone of a peacock or a hyena to his right hand.

Problems with male impotency were obviously prevalent during this time because the Karma Sutra offers a unique recipe for male sexual enhancement.  Boil sparrows’ eggs in milk and then mix with clarified butter and honey.  I’m not sure if you are supposed to swallow it or spread it on the Lingam (Sanskrit word meaning his Wand of Light).

My favorite quote in The Kama Sutra is, Divine Union which means sexual intercourse because for me it conjures up images of two loving people integrated into oneness.

Actually only about 20 per cent of The Kama Sutra is devoted to sex.  The remainder is on relationship etiquette with tips on how to arrange your home and how to achieve happiness, kind of Martha Steward Living in Antiquity.  It suggests that you should adorn your home with flowers, have a soft bed, and keep a pot for spitting in.  Not bad advice even for today!

Check out Dr. Ava’s “The 6 Tantra Secrets to Bliss-gasms & Ecstatic Sex” for more kama sutra tips!

5 Tantric Handjob Techniques for Happy Penises

Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash

Tantric Handjob Techniques… Its all about the penis aka lingam massage…

Before I stepped into “Snake Charming” class (aka Tantric Handjob Techniques) on my trip to Hedonism II, the clothing optional, adults only resort in Negril, Jamaica, I thought there is no way I’m going to learn anything new. At the risk of sounding cocky, my boyfriend says my hand-job skills are quite epic.

But, we were at Hedo to try new things, like going nude 24/7, having sex on the beach, and taking the week-long courses in Tantric sex for couples. So, epic skills aside, we gave the art of learning how to give a tantric lingam (which means penis in Sanskrit) massage a go.

Table of Contents:


Penis Exercises for Stamina & Harder Erections

Well, kudos to Kim and Brad Walker of Houston, Texas-based Tantric Hearts, who have been teaching tantric sex and couples workshops at Hedonism II for 17 years, for proving me oh so wrong. They taught this old dog a few new tricks – 16 new Tantric Handjob Techniques in fact, five of which I’ll share in detail.

16 Penis (Lingam) Massage Techniques

During class we learned how to massage the penis with these Tantric Handjob Techniques:

  • the Thank U
  • Sausage Roll
  • Polish the Helmet
  • The OK
  • Windshield Wiper
  • Fire Starter
  • Ring N Tickle
  • Peace Grip
  • Thumb PPT (PPT=Pressure Point)
  • Knuckle PPT
  • Bendy Thing
  • Sextension
  • Press N Pull
  • Peace Press (not to be confused with the aforementioned Peace Grip)
  • Vas Press
  • and the Thumbs Up.

Top 10 Interesting Penis Facts

Here are five of my boyfriend’s favorites Tantric Handjob Techniques:

Windshield Wiper

Put oil on your man’s belly just above the pubic bone and pull gently down on his scrotum. With your hand placed flat on the outside shaft of his penis, you move the penis from left to right like a windshield wiper (the oil helps it glide with ease). This one evoked a bit of a giggle from us. My boyfriend thought it was “exciting” because it was new, but didn’t quite love it as much as other techniques.

The OK

Make the “OK” sign with your thumb and first finger in the shape of a circle and your remaining fingers straight up and place the tip of the penis in the circle. Focus the massage on the ridge and tip of the head. Some men are too sensitive for this, so be aware of how your partner is responding.

Sausage Roll

Photo by Peter Secan on Unsplash

Grasp the base of his cock with one hand and layer your other hand in a grip on the top of his penis so that the edges of your fists are touching. Hold this penis tightly, but don’t squeeze too hard. Stroke the penis with both hands going in unison up and down. This makes a guy with a small penis feel bigger.

Polish the Helmet

For this Tantric Handjob Techniques grasp the penis tightly with a full-hand grip. As you are stroking it up and down, place your other hand over the tip of the penis with the head in the middle part of the inside of hand and move that hand in circles. It helps if the inside of that hand is oil-ed up. It’s kind of like the thing we all did as kids where you’re patting your hand and circling your belly to test your coordination.

Fire Starter

Don’t attempt this dry! Coconut oil is your best friend here or you can cause some serious friction to your man’s skin. Place one hand on one side of the penis and the other on the other side and move your hands back and forth as if you are starting a fire with a stick, or when one rubs their hands together to generate heat. This works best when the penis is placed between closed-fingers so that the fingers feel like ridges.

For More Tantric Handjob Techniques check out the link below!

>> Get Your FREE Lingam Massage Course Here <<

Related Post:

Yoni Massage Course with Sexpert Coach Mariah Freya