Sunday, May 26, 2019
Authors Posts by Domina Doll

Domina Doll

Domina Doll is a sex writer, sexpert, and sex toy diva at as well as an aspiring Passion & Pleasure Coach. She has dabbled as a fetish photographer, sex toy peddler, and jill of all trades, but her passion is teaching others about positive sexuality, intimacy and how to have passion-filled relationships. Her work has been published in several sex related magazines including Women's Health, Lover Magazine, Whiplash!, SMUT, Good Vibes, Carnal Nation, SexLifeCanada and Blog Her (Sex). She is also the go to sexpert gal at, where she answers questions about sex toys and sexuality in general. Domina has also ghostwritten sexpert e-books as well as her own sex guides including: "Jillin' Off: A Girl's Guide to Solo Sex". Her favorite quote: "Sex is emotion in motion." by Mae West.  Happy Orgasms xxx Domina

May Is Masturbation Month: A Brief History of Masturbation

May is masturbation month, and we’re here to blow your mind with these facts about masturbating!

Masturbation is a tale as old as evolution (and humans are among at least a dozen animal species that enjoy self-pleasuring themselves!) You don’t have to look far for signs of human self-gratification. While we now have porn and erotica showing people in the act of self-love, early hunters and gatherers from the Upper Paleolithic once painted pictures of people self-stimulating on the walls of caves.

Goddesses Dancing- Free Attribution:

Evidence of female masturbation was first found depicted in a clay sculpture from the Island of Malta from Neolithic period (3300 BCE), called the Ħaġar Qim woman(see image here)[i] who is poised with her legs up in the air exposing her swollen vulva, and appears to be touching her genitals in a sexual fashion, says archeologist Timothy Taylor.[ii] The world’s oldest dildo is 28,000 years old,[iii] which is evidence that masturbation with a phallic object has been around a very long time.

Ancient Stone Dildos – Shutterstock

At one time, society was more open about self-pleasure than in our most recent past. The ancient Sumerians, for example, believed that masturbation was good for both men and women, and was practiced as an “act of creation” by their Sumerian Gods. The ancient Egyptians followed suit, believing that masturbation was a “creative or magical act: the god Atum was believed to have created the universe by masturbating to ejaculation”. The Greeks also recognized that sexual release via solo sex regularly helped to stave off sexual frustration, while the Romans preferred using their left hand for solo sex.[iv]

Vibrators and Hysteria

Technological advancements changed the landscape of self-pleasure. Dr. J. Mortimer Granville patented the first vibrator in the early 1880s, but it took a while before the device was marketed as an aid for jilling off. Instead, doctors were said to have used their hands to “cure” women of hysteria.

Hysteria – Public Domain (Wikipedia)
D.M. Bourneville and P. Régnard (montage of Attitudes Passionnelles)

Hysteria was once a common medical diagnosis for women, categorized as a disease that was both common and chronic. Symptoms included “faintness, nervousness, sexual desire, insomnia, fluid retention, heaviness in the abdomen, shortness of breath, irritability, loss of appetite for food or sex, and a “tendency to cause trouble”.

Doctors “cured” hysteria by manually stimulating women to orgasm, or “paroxysm”,[v] which, when roughly translated was not an “orgasm”, but rather, “any sudden, violent outburst; a fit of violent action or emotion: paroxysms of rage.”[vi]  Sounds quite intense!

Clip from the movie Hysteria (2011) showing the fictional invention of the vibrator and how doctors manually treated hysteria.

Thankfully, the 20th century ushered in the age of personal vibrators, which became cordless and portable (unless you still enjoy your trusty Magic Wand). Japanese companies introduced dual-stimulators with rabbits and other animals as clitoral attachments such as the infamous “Rabbit Habit” featured in “Sex and the City”.  Bullets also became a popular option for women who enjoyed clitoral stimulation and more discreet sex toys.

Screen Capture from Youtube Video – Sex in the City episode where Charlotte falls in love with the Rabbit Habit Vibrator. (

Masturbation has gotten increasingly high-tech. You can now use dual-density silicone and oral sex simulators that promise orgasms in under one minute. You can control your vibrator with an app on your phone or let your lover operate it from across the world thanks to the Internet and teledildonics. Male masturbation devices have also become increasingly sophisticated, with high-powered strokers, prostate toys, and discreet “endurance trainers” that look like flashlights.


Who knows what sex toys will look like in the future?

But masturbation has not always been received as favorably as it is today. In fact, it has a very unpleasant past.

Masturbation Stigmas

Masturbation was considered a taboo and bad for you throughout most our history. It was considered a “wasting of seed”, in some societies who believed that semen was a source of precious energy. This was the case with ancient Taoists, who believed energy (called Qi) was housed in sperm.  Therefore, when a man masturbated, he lost energy and virility. The Taoists weren’t the only one who held beliefs like this: Hippocrates, the ancient Greek physician, warned against masturbation due to potential spinal injury.[vii]


Anti-masturbation rhetoric also thrived within the Christian church, and masturbation was condemned for bringing a person a type of ecstasy that should only be part of a religious experience. The Bible went so far as to condemn Onan (onanism), who appears in Genesis, for “spilling his seed” on the ground rather than having sex with his brother’s widow.[viii]

Reports like these were far from uncommon, and the condemnation of “self-pollution” led to all sorts of pervasive myths about its negative consequences. One popular myth declared that jerking off could make hair grow on the palms of your hands and even caused people to become werewolves or was a cause blindness. During the Victorian times, doctors believed that playing with yourself could lead to conditions such as gout, epilepsy, acne – and, even cancer.[ix] Some myths are still persistent in our society today, such as masturbation stunting your growth.[x] The Mormon church spread literature warning about “self-abuse” as recently as the 1990s.[xi]

John Harvey Kellogg (the creator of Corn Flakes) and Sylvester Graham, who invented the graham cracker, both “advocated keeping the diet plain to prevent sexual arousal”[xii] because spicy foods enhanced the libido.


Religious leaders also advised people to avoid looking at their naked bodies in the mirror to prevent temptation. If you felt the desire to masturbate, you could participate in activities such as thinking about tubs of worms to quell the urge.[xiii]  That’s one way to dampen the libido!

Many “cures” for masturbation were much more extreme and cruel, including the practice of using anti-masturbation devices that employed spikes, electricity, or cages to prevent boys from touching themselves. Castration was used in some extreme cases.

Girls didn’t escape unscathed either. Clitorectomies were performed to remove part or all of a girl’s clitoris[xiv], an organ whose sole purpose is to bring sexual pleasure. In extreme cases, the woman suffering from hysteria were forced to enter an insane asylum or to undergo a surgical hysterectomy.”[xv] Everything from blister powder to leeches were employed to tried to prevent adolescents from masturbating.

Modern Day Chastity Belt by XRBRands from (

It is really hard to believe that society feared the masturbation so intensely as they once did.

Myths that self-pleasure is bad for you persists today and masturbating with a vibrator is thought to be addictive. This simply isn’t true, however. While compulsive masturbation is not good for you, regular masturbation doesn’t pose any risks.

Many people in today’s society still carry a lot of sexual guilt and shame around masturbation and sexual pleasure in general.  This sex-negative attitude has hampered, rather than enhanced sexual relationships between men and women.

Still, people do masturbate, and it is estimated that up 92[xvi] percent of women actively masturbates according to Jimmy Jane (and 95% of men[xvii]), while the rest just don’t admit it.

Luckily, attitudes towards masturbation have drastically changed for the better with many physicians, sexual experts and psychiatrists encouraging masturbation as a practice that is actually good for you![xviii]

The Benefits of Masturbation

Historically masturbation was considered a sin or shameful in many cultures and it hasn’t been until recently that masturbation was opening discussed and even celebrated.


There is evidence that masturbation is actually good for you on many levels: physically, psychologically and emotionally.

So, give yourself a hand! Masturbation is both healthy and normal!

For the Guys

  • Regular ejaculation reduces the risks of prostate cancer. One study says it can reduce the risk up to 20% for men who ejaculate 21 times or more per month. So, if you are not in a regular sexual relationship, masturbation can keep your risks lower.
  • Masturbation can increase stamina and reduce premature ejaculation. Delayed gratification does not always make for a good sexual experience. Men that have minor issues with premature ejaculation can help increase stamina with a regular practice. Alternating techniques and consciously increasing the time before they allow themselves to ejaculate gives them more staying power.

For the Gals

  • Masturbation strengthens the pelvic floor and uterine muscles. Kegels are great but giving yourself extended pleasure is mind blowing. Learning where your muscles are and how to contract and expand them creates more pleasure for you solo and with a partner. This also benefits as you age and after childbirth as it helps with lubrication and delays vaginal atrophy.
  • Sexual release helps your brain function with more clarity.
  • Women who have limited sex drive, from a myriad of causes including abuse and menopause can learn to enjoy sex and increase their libido and sensitivity.
  • Masturbation is empowering!

For Everyone!

  • Masturbation increases endorphins that increase your “feel-good” mental state and are beneficial for the body also.
  • Sexual energy is our creative, life-force energy. Increasing this energy regularly unleashes more creativity and a higher energy vibration.
  • Masturbation helps promote better sleep, the endorphins help relax and calm your mind and body.
  • Regular masturbation helps to increase your libido: the more sexual pleasure you have the more you want.
  • Stress relief also happens during sex or via masturbation, with a partner or solo. It gets you out of your mind and into your body.
  • Pleasure can reduce aches and pains. The old adage from women, “I have a headache” may be only an excuse. Sexual pleasure and orgasms are proven to reduce or relieve aches and pains.
  • You increase your knowledge of your body and your pleasure when you masturbate, so when you do have a partner you can teach them how to pleasure you and thus, have better, more satisfying experiences.
  • Regular orgasms and sexual pleasure also strengthen your immune system.

The American Medical Association declared masturbation a normal and healthy sexual activity in 1972. At we believe masturbation is a healthy part of your sexuality and has many benefits. If you want to learn more about masturbation and how to masturbate, check out our course at Loveology University on Self Pleasure and Masturbation.


[i] Image of Malta of Venus-

[ii] Alexandra Churchill, 10 CRAZY Things You NEED To Know About Masturbation. May 2017. Your Tango. Accessed 04/26/18.

[iii]   Natasha Hinde, This Stone Penis Is 28,000 Years Old And Was (Probably) Used As Dildo In The Ice Age, 01/19/2015, Huffington Post, Accessed 04/26/18.

[iv]   History of Masturbation, Wikipedia, Accessed 04/26/18.

[v]    Michael Castleman M.A., “Hysteria” and the Strange History of Vibrators, 03/01/3013, Psychology Today, Accessed 04/26/18.

[vi] Paroxysm. Accessed 04/26/18.

[vii]  Dr. R. W. Bernard. Science Discovers the Physiological Value of Continence, 1957, Self Definition, Accessed 04/26/18. Onan,

[viii] Wikipedia, Accessed 04/26/18.

[ix] John Duffy, Clitoridectomy: A Nineteenth Century Answer to Masturbation. 2003, The FGC Education and Networking Project. – Accessed 4/25/2018.

[x] GoAskAlice Team. Masturbation inhibits growth? – Accessed 4/25/2018.

[xi] Justin J Lehmiller, A Scientist’s Response To The “War On Masturbation”. March 03, 2014, – Accessed 4/25/2018.

[xii] John Harvey Kellogg. Wikipedia. 20 April 2018. Accessed 4/25/2018.

[xiii] Overcoming Masturbation, Light Planet, Accessed 04/26/18.

[xiv] John Duffy, Ph.D. CLITORIDECTOMY: A NINETEENTH CENTURY ANSWER TO MASTURBATION.1989. the First International Symposium – Accessed 4/25/2018.

[xv] Female Hysteria. Wikipedia,  Accessed 04/26/18.



[xviii]        ASAP Science, Is Masturbation Good For You?, 09/10/2015, Youtube, Accessed 04/26/18.

Victorian Masturbation – “Self Abuse” and the Demonization of the Clitoris Video –

Masturbation Myths | Teesha Morgan | TEDx Talks Video-

Goddesses Dancing-

Sex Restraints Safety for Couples

How to Play Safe with Sex Restraints and Bondage

Whether you are curious or experienced, bondage is a taboo topic that excites many people. It’s risqué, kinky, erotic and just dark enough to be tantalizing. Maybe you just want to spice up your “vanilla” sex life a bit, or perhaps you are already into BDSM and exploring darker forbidden sexual fun. Either way, using restraints is an erotic activity that couples can use to spice up the dynamics of their sex life.

Bondage has become much more popular with couples in the last few years due to the success of the Shades of Grey franchise. More and more couples are becoming curious of this type of sensual erotic play, using fuzzy hair cuffs and under the bed restraints as a regular practice to fulfill fantasies and heat up their regular routine.

What is Sexual Bondage?

The definition of sexual bondage is, “use of sex restraints for sexual pleasure”. It does not have to be full on BDSM, with all whips & chains or more extreme types of play. It can simply mean you enjoy kinky sex toys to enhance your sensual relationship with your partner.

Bondage is more about seduction than domination. That is what makes it appealing and exiting. Slow, sensual foreplay with the element of deep trust, surprise that tantalizes the senses for greater pleasure by creating uncertainty, with something new and mysterious.

For the bound partner, the slow tease brings them to greater heights of pleasure and orgasm. For the dominant partner, learning to tune in & turn on is sexy too, for we receive pleasure through the act of giving pleasure.

While this should be fun and exciting, there are other considerations you should also keep in mind. The two most important foundations of bondage sex play are communication and safety. These must be priority before you ever pull out the sex restraints and kinky sex toys!


Your partner may not be ok with bondage play, as it could be a fear or a trigger from past issues. There could be health reasons that they may not be able to participate, that you are not aware of. There are many variables why someone may not be interested in trying bondage or feel unsafe in doing so.

If your partner is not on board, honor that preference. Respect and trust are paramount to a good, healthy sexual relationship. It could be something as simple as claustrophobia, that will not allow them to open and receive enough to use sex restraints.

It also could be something your partner has just never thought of, and it may take time for them to decide if they are keen on this new idea or not. The key is to be open and honest, have a conversation about it beforehand, without any judgements.

Safety Tips

These are guidelines, not an all-inclusive list of safety precautions. Always be aware of what is going on and think about the risks involved before you try something new.

  • Trust is key to a good bondage experience! Never try bondage with a brand-new partner or someone you do not know well and trust deeply.
  • Never engage in bondage play if either partner is under the influence of any alcohol or drugs. This could cause you to have poor judgement about the risks, or not remember safety first and foremost.
  • Agree on the limits and scenarios you are both comfortable with beforehand.
  • Create and agree on safe words. Like “yellow” to try something different and “red” to stop totally. When safe words are used, there needs to be a discussion about why and how the partner feels.
  • If you use neck or throat play, never tie anything around the area, as this could easily cause severe harm. There are special collars made for safe play with the throat.
  • Ensure that when you tie a sex restraint there is at least 1-2 fingers gap between the restraint and the skin. Binding too tight could cut of circulation and/or damage nerves. The skin should be regularly checked for numbness or coldness.
  • Never leave a bound partner alone, as this could be extremely dangerous.
  • Keep a pair of safety scissors nearby in case the need arises to quickly remove restraints.
  • Do not bind around or across pulse points which include the upper, inner thigh, throat, and wrists to avoid direct pressure and cut off the circulation.
  • Do not apply any pressure or restraint across the Brachial Plexus nerve, along the back near the shoulder blade.
  • As a beginner, never keep a partner restrained in one position for more than 20 minutes. It could lead to cramping, numbing and other unsexy things.
  • Use simple techniques when you are learning.
  • Avoid silk scarves, nylon or other stretchy materials or ropes as these can tighten to a harmful level very quickly. Struggling is usually part of the turn on and could cause a dangerous situation. Stick with nylon, leather, furry metal cuffs or cotton rope. You can also purchase bondage kits and kinky sex toys from sex shops to ensure safety.

Keep communication and safety as your priority, and bondage may become a very pleasurable sex play for you and your partner.

Top 9 Ways to Add Spice to Your Relationship

All sexual relationships usually go through a period of down time for one reason or another.  Maybe you and your partner are too busy, overworked, tired, not in the mood, angry or resentful, or maybe suffering from a low libido.

Not to worry.  This is the normal evolution of a sexual relationship.  But, it doesn’t have to be that way.

Here are some sure-fire ways to add spice to your relationship and sex it up!

  1. Plan a Date Night Away From Family

Yes, sometimes we can’t always be spontaneous.  Planning a date night together can actually be quite arousing as you both anticipate what is going to take place on that special night.  Plus, planning a night out (or in) without the kids, pets, or other distractions can give you both time to relax, and give your attention to each other.  It can be simple as getting a hotel room, or sending the kids on a sleepover for the night as you get Chinese take-out and watch a romantic movie together.

  1. Sex Outdoors or in Different Place

Summer is the time for sexy fun and what better way to celebrate than have sex outdoors?  Sex on the beach under a full moon, camping in the woods, picnic in a secluded park, making out in a car on Lover’s Lane.  You get the idea.  Don’t forget the bug spray, sunscreen and a blanket to lay on.  And, if you don’t want to chance getting caught, then try it in a different place indoors. Laundry room, kitchen, attic, bathtub or shower.  Just changing up the place you normally have sex can make it more exciting and novel.

  1. Shift the Time of Day to Suit Your Lover

Most guys get hard-ons in the morning.  So, if your lover has a bit of a libido issue, you may want to get them first thing in the am while they still have morning wood.  You can slowly seduce them as they wake. Pop a breath mint into your mouth and delight them to some oral sex.  Get some massage oil and give them a hand job or get right into the action and jump their bone!

  1. Eat Chocolate

Feeling like your libido is low? Eat chocolate. This sinful little indulgence provides guaranteed pleasure (some women even think it is better than sex!), and releases feel good endorphins (Serotonin) which make you feel happy and increases your body’s ability to respond sexually. It also contains PEA (phenethylamine) which stimulates the nervous system and other endorphins as well as dopamine which increases sexual desire. For guilt-free pleasure get dark chocolate which has more of the good stuff (all of the above) and less of the bad stuff (fat and sugar).

  1. Dance, Dance, Dance!

Dancing has numerous health benefits as well as making you feel great. It delays the aging process helping you stay young, blasts away calories making you slimmer, builds muscles, and is great for the lungs and the heart. Dancing also elevates your mood by raising endorphin levels which allows you to reduce stress and depression. Not only that, but if you learn Belly dance, the art of strip tease, or pole dancing, it is also very sexy and helps boost confidence and self-esteem. So, put on some music and slow dance with your partner to turn up the heat, or give them a special show!

  1. Sensual Massage

Erotic massage is a great way to relax, reduce stress and reconnect with your lover. It awakens the senses and activates whole-body healing, including increasing circulation while giving your skin a healthy glow, as well as releasing toxins. Plus, it is a great way to create intimacy with your lover and is a very sexy form of foreplay. It is give-give situation, as you can both trade off giving and receiving massage together. So, pick up a sensual massage oil (or make your own with olive oil and essence oils) and do some sensual healing.

  1. Masturbate

Masturbation is great for the mind, not just the body. It relieves stress, is a natural sleep sedative and releases feel good mood boosting endorphins to help fight off depression. Sexologists say that self-love is empowering while promoting vitality and self-esteem, so it also makes you a better lover because you can communicate to your partner what you like. Not only that, but masturbation is great for the body and has so many health benefits. Seriously! It improves the immune system’s function, reducing the signs of aging and menopause, and may help reduce the risk of osteoporosis in older women by increasing bone mass. It can also relieve menstrual cramps, migraine headaches and chronic back pain. And, finally, as an added bonus, masturbation (along with kegel exercises) helps build a stronger pelvic floor which leads to better pleasure, control and orgasms in both men and women.  Masturbation keeps your sex organs lubricated and in working order, so you are ready for sex (and more turned on) more often.  Better yet, do it with your lover!

  1. Share Your Kinky Fantasies

We are human and we all have fantasies.  They may be romantic fantasies of being romanced and swept off your feet by a white night, pirate or Viking marauder.  Or maybe a bit kinkier like getting spanked, experimenting with bondage, sensation play or dominance and submission.  Whatever that kink is, share it with your partner.  Ask them if they want to try something new in the bedroom and have a chat to see what fantasies you both share and would like to try out together in real life.  It might both surprise and delight you both!

  1. Get Some Kinky Toys

I love my kinky toys.  If I am ever stuck for something fun to do in the bedroom I always can rely on my tickle trunk of kinky sex toys to make the ordinary, extraordinary.  Hand cuffs—Check!  Feather tickler—Check!  Small flogger, ball gag, nipple clamps, butt plugs, pinwheel, monkey mask (don’t ask!)—Check!  If you don’t have any kinky toys yet, but would like to get some, go shopping online and browse the huge range of kinky sex toys that are available.  I’m sure you will find something you’d like to try.

Well that’s it for today’s article on spicing up your sex life.  I hope you found some good ideas to get turned on and get in on, with your lover.

Get Kinky Toys Here

Sexycises by Sexperts: Yin Yang Yoga for Intimacy Review

Sexycises by Sexperts: Yin Yang Yoga for Intimacy is a sizzling new multimedia project by Dr. Ava Cadell that offers a playful new way for couples to connect physically, emotionally and sexually. Dr. Ava brought together 20 top experts in sexual health ranging in ages from 20s to 60s to demonstrate Yin Yang Yoga positions from passionate and playful, gentle and relaxing, to more rigorous acrobatic styles for athletic couples who want a challenge.

The project includes an edutainment video (available now via Vimeo), and seminar that was first presented at the SHE Expo in Los Angeles in 2017, and has now traveled all over the world including China, Thailand, Mexico and Jamaica.

Yin Yang Yoga incorporates essentials from Anusara, Kundalini, Vinyasa, Acroyoga and Tantra yoga for couples, to enable them to stay connected on their journey to sexual satisfaction. Each expert relates their personal expertise in a private interview before their segment, which adds a depth of knowledge to the video that enriches the experience.

“Partner yoga can boost intimacy and can lead to the best sex of your life.   Yin Yang Yoga for Intimacy creates a physical and emotional bond of trust.  We all have both Yin (feminine) and Yang (masculine) energies within us.  Yin Yang Yoga not only emphasizes the balance within ourselves, but it allows for the connection between two partners, two bodies, to become one with sexy, energizing results,” says Dr. Ava Cadell.

Preview the trailer & purchase the video for download here: Sexycises

The Video

Sexycises by Sexperts: Yin Yang Yoga for Intimacy is a love-changing video guide for couples to rekindle passion, deepen intimacy and just have fun together.  The video is now available on Vimeo as a streaming video that runs 1 hour 33 minutes. You can either rent or purchase for download.  Narrated by Dr. Ava Cadell, the video features 20 top sex experts demonstrating sensual partner Yin Yang Yoga poses together which are designed to rekindle passion, deepen intimacy or as a way for couples to connect physically and have fun together.  The health benefits include increased flexibility, strength, balance, muscle tone, as well as improved energy and vitality. The video has 6 levels of poses: Level 1 & 2 for beginners, level 3 & 4 for intermediates, and level 5 & 6 for advanced practitioners.

“With all this in mind, Yin Yang Yoga makes a rewarding romantic date, builds passion, enhances intimacy and enriches relationships with mental, physical, emotional, spiritual and sexual benefits for couples. As a bonus, you can also burn as many as 500 calories in half an hour!”—Dr. Ava Cadell

Not only is the video perfect for couples who want to exercise together and boost their libido, but it would be a great addition to couple’s resorts, gyms and yoga studios.

The Scenes and Poses

After a short introduction by Dr. Ava Cadell, the sexycise poses begin, starting with Dr. Cat Meyer (PsyD., LMFT, Sex Therapist, Yoga Teacher, Reiki Healer) and Andrew Sealy (Acroyoga Expert & Instructor) who demonstrate 6 poses from Level 1 to Level 6 on a beautiful Malibu beach.  The poses included: Up Dog Heart Opener, Steeple Pose, Child Pose Partner Spine Lengthening, Down Dog Sacrum Hug, Folded leaf Hip Opener, and Backbend / Forward Fold Partner Stretch. The poses focus on playful to advanced Acroyoga positions to open the sacral, solar plexus and heart chakras, and included eye gazing, synchronized breathing and sensual touch.

Next Miyoko Fujimori (Intimacy Expert, Playboy Radio Host, Sex Columnist, Acroyoga Instructor) and her partner Eric Blood (Acroyoga Expert & Co-founder, Inverted Play) demonstrate 7 more advanced poses from levels 3-6. Many of these are “Inverted Play” flying poses that use a yoga swing for support.  Poses included: Back Fly, Straddle Bat, Ninja Star, Floating Paschi, Star Pillow, Side Plank, Waterfall from Reverse Throne, as well as other poses without the yoga swing on a staircase including Thigh Stand, Thigh Straddle Sit, Bird on Hands Modification, Flag Variation, Backbend on Shoulders and Inverted 69.  These poses inspire adventure, excitement and variety in your relationship, while also strengthening your physical bodies and building stamina and flexibility for better sex.

Brett Stephenson (Partner Yoga Teacher, Tantric Massage Therapist) and Dr. Nancy Sutton-Pierce (DHS, RN, Sexologist, Radio Host, Speaker, Conscious Yoga Expert) demonstrate more basic poses and tantric massage techniques that any couple could practice together, including beginners.  These introductory poses included: Single Leg Extension with Massage, Double Leg Extension with Massage, Supported Seated Backbend with Massage, and Supported Forward Bend, and Happy Baby pose with Plank and Yoga Push-ups.  These positions are all designed to release tension, increase blood flow to sexual organs and reconnect couples to their own bodies and sensuality through intimate touch.

Dr. Hernando Chaves (MFT, DHS, Human Sexuality Professor, Sex Columnist, Speaker) and Erika Jordan (Licensed Sexologist & Certified Love Coach) next show how to start off slow with beginner poses.  Dr. Chaves talks about how to keep your body strong and sexually vital even if you experience knee and back problems with the help of Yin Yang Yoga.  Erika Jordan emphasizes the importance of having fun and learning something new together as a couple to increase intimacy while turning on all the sexy endorphins and chemicals in your brain to keep the sizzle alive.  These beginner poses use an exercise ball for stability and include: Supported Plank Pose with Leg Straddle, Supported Back Bend with Leg Extension, and Ball Supported Yab Yum. These poses have libido-boosting benefits that increase blood flow to the genitals and sacral chakra.

Next, Dr. Amie Harwick (Ph.D, MFT, Psychotherapist, Sex Therapist, Author, Speaker, Media Therapist) and Christina Engelhardt (Certified Loveologist & Love Coach, Author, Speaker & Intuitive) practice mirrored poses including: Double Dancer, Double Triangle, Double Goddess, and Double Bridge poses.  Christina next doubles up with Dr. Nancy Sutton-Pierce for the Double Down Dog.  Dr. Harwick talks about the importance of yoga for increasing intimacy and closeness between lovers as well as friends, whereas Christina Engelhardt talks about how yoga helps to open mind, body and spirit for greater intimacy.

Kayna Cassard (MA, LMFT, Sex Therapist, Intimacy Workshop Leader, Acro Yoga Instructor) and her partner Dominick Cole (Acroyoga Expert, intimacy Workshop Leader) get into some intricate and advance acrobatic poses during their scene together.  These included:  Partner Counter Balance, Partner Boat Pose, Partner Assisted Straddle Stretch, Partner Forward Fold Counter Balance, Backpack Pose, Back Fly Variation, Ninja Star, Folded Leaf with Acro Thai Massage, Table Top pose, Straddle Bat, Side Star Variation, Reverse Throne – One Leg Bound, Reverse Splits on Hands, Handstand Kiss, Prasarita Twist, Super Yogi and Straddle Bat into Shoulder Stand. Cassard says she enjoys the experience because it is a way to express love, desire and intimacy between partners without using words, and reconnects lovers with their bodies in a sensual way to find their fiery passion once again.  The poses they perfect together are very advanced and the transitions are beautiful and fluid.

Dr. Ava Cadell mentions a few times during the video that many of the advanced poses should be done only under the instruction of an advanced practitioners in AcroYoga.  She also emphasizes how couples can be inspired to try more intricate poses over time, with expert instruction.  This ever-evolving practice also helps to strengthen communication skills, trust and security in the relationship because you need to work as a team.

Dr. Jallen Rix (Clinical Sexologist, Ed.D, Speaker, Author, Professor of Human Sexuality) and Kayvon Afsarifard (Acroyoga Expert & Instructor) showcase male / male Yin Yang Yoga, including these poses: Double Warrior, Bird Pose, High Flying Whale pose, Jedi Box, and Back Bird into Floating Paschi.  These poses are very advanced and use a great amount of strength, balance, trust and experience. in the video, Dr. Rix notes how Sexycises and other practices help get people out of their head and more into their body knowledge, and embodied practices.  Afsarifard says couple’s yoga promotes trust as well as self-knowledge.

Dr. Anne Ridley (Clinical Sexologist, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Loveologist) and her partner Nick demonstrate level 1-4 poses including: Wide-Angle Seated Forward Fold, Double Seated Tree with Forward Fold to Twist, Fountain Pose, Standing Pelvic Circles, and the Reverse Table Top with Partner Squat.  Dr. Ridley explains how Sexycises can create a deeper bond through touch, yoga, mindfulness and meditation, and how it is a beautiful way to bring authenticity, and intimacy into your relationship.

Dr. Don Etkes (Ph.D., MFT, Sex Therapist, Life Coach, Hypotherapist) partners up with Dr. Tamar Reilly (Ph.D, Certified Sex Surrogate), to show sensual level 1 poses for people who are more mature or who have less flexibility or physical limitations, including: Chair Seated Tree, Seated Steeple, and Lotus Fish.  All poses use a sofa for a prop for greater comfort.  Dr. Etkes emphasizes a sense of play between couples, in a relaxed gentle way as well as learning communication skills to maximize sensuality that leads to better sex, and Sexycises is perfect for this.

Dr. Nancy Sutton-Pierce (DHS, RN, Sexologist, Radio Host, Speaker, Conscious Yoga Expert) and her partner Symon Murray (Lifestyle & Sexuality Teacher) show advanced poses including: Double Tree, Upward Double Bow, Plank / Down Dog with a Kiss, and Double Side Plank.  Dr. Sutton-Pierce practices a holistic mixture of sexology that promotes bringing sexy back and says how sexy does not have an expiry date, when you bring yoga into the bedroom with breath and connection via Sexycises.

Finally, Dr. Ava Cadell, Dr. Tamar Reilly, Dr. Nancy Sutton-Pierce with Jane Hamilton finish with a group yoga pose, the Double Moon, showing that Sexycises can be fun and playful to practice with friends as well as lovers.

Sexycises is beautifully filmed, with aerial footage of sandy Malibu beaches and lush vegetation as a background for many of the scenes which were filmed in Cadell’s backyard oasis and tree-house, Shangri La.

Many of the practitioners in the video are partnered in real life and their expertise in couples yoga, as well as their affection for each other is beautifully captured, inspiring viewers to begin their own intimate practice in Yin Yang Yoga together.  The poses are loving and sensual and are designed to awaken erotic desire between lovers.  The video showcases numerous poses couples can try out together from beginner to expert, so there is something for everyone no matter their level of ability, including sexy tantra poses that facilitate deep, intimate connection.

The video features beautiful, relaxing, instrumental music that carries you through the poses and intimate workout.  The women in the video wear beautiful body jewelry by Bijoux Indiscrets.

The Seminar

Cadell designed the project to also be offered as a Seminar at conferences as well as couples workshops for luxury retreats. Since the debut at SHE, many of the project’s experts have presented Sexycises at workshops around the world including Dr. Cat Meyer and Dr. Ava in Thailand, Miyoko in China, Dr. Nancy Sutton Pierce in Jamaica and Dr. Hernando Chaves, Kayna Cassard and Dominick Cole in Mexico. The Sexycises team is available to train groups and individuals, and to create presentations globally. Many of them are also qualified as sex educators, counselors and therapists.

Sexycises by Sexperts: Yin Yang Yoga for Intimacy seminars are designed to build trust, improve communication and enrich intimacy through the power of touch.  The seminars include:

  • Interactive and entertaining group activities
  • Educational and therapeutic techniques for deeper connection
  • Experiential heart to heart connective exercises for more passion and fulfillment
  • Top sexperts empower and motivate you to take your relationship to a whole new level

You can see a sneak peek from the SHE Expo in 2017 here, featuring Miyoko and Dr. Cat Meyer, teaching couples how to try out some of the poses.


Dr. Ava Cadell is also interested in licensing the program to yoga studios, gyms and resorts by sending sexperts to train their staff in Sexycises, Yin Yang Yoga for Intimacy.  That way, couples can learn the practice locally or as a part of a sensual vacation at a resort or on a couple’s cruise.  This enables Cadell and her team of sexy sexperts can help heal relationships through intimacy and spread loving connection around the world.

Dr. Ava Cadell created Sexycises as a way for couples to connect more physically, as it is the quickest way to rebuild intimacy, heal negative emotions and rekindle passion for a deeper loving relationship that she has witnessed in her private practice.

“These activities release oxytocin, the bonding hormone, which cultivates gratitude for one another, manifesting in romance and more intimacy… The success that couples achieve connecting emotionally through physical touch was my inspiration for creating Yin Yang Yoga, as a rewarding solution for those top relationship issues. I wanted to create a couples practice that blends three popular keys to wellbeing: yoga, intimacy and fitness (YIF – not to be confused with the practice of dressing up as fuzzy animals!) Many couples are seeking guidance and support on their journey to find more romance and deeper intimacy, but they don’t want it to be hard work. And couples often take sex way too seriously, which can result in a lack of interest in sexual activity altogether. What they need is to have sexy fun together!”, says Dr. Ava Cadell.

Sexycises by Sexperts: Yin Yang Yoga for Intimacy presents sexy, sensual poses designed to deepen trust, intimacy and sexual connection between lovers, with a wide variety of styles from gentle and relaxing to gravity defying acrobatic challenges.

Sex up your summer with a new sizzling practice you can enjoy with your partner and turn up the heat!

Preview the trailer & purchase the video for download here: Sexycises

1-Minute Orgasms with the Womanizer 2Go Review

The Womanizer 2Go is Great for Beginners!

Hello Lovers!

Today I am reviewing the Womanizer 2Go, which was designed to be your perfect traveling pleasure toy but is also a great clitoral stimulator for beginners as well!

Watch my video below for a quick run-down of the Womanizer 2Go and to see how it works.

I reviewed the original Womanizer when it first came out, saying it was “utterly amazing and is the crack cocaine of sex toys. Seriously addictive…”  The reason why Womanizer blew my clit mind was because it was unlike anything else on the market at that time.  It uses unique “Pleasure Air Technology” that sends intense pressure waves to gently suck on your clitoris, which results in less than 1-minute orgasms.

November Giveaway! The Womanizer – Review by Domina Doll

I was super excited when the Womanizer 2Go came out, as I have always wanted a discreet looking lipstick vibe, and knowing how powerfully orgasmic the original was, I was curious to see how the smaller version would compare.  See my video review above as I test out the Womanizer 2Go against the Womanizer Pro 40.

While the style of the 2Go is quite different than the Pro 40 and the Original, the “Pleasure Air Technology” is pretty much the same:

  • Powerful Suction – Yes!
  • Easy to Use – Yes!
  • Orgasms in Less than 1 Minute – Yes!
  • Same Intensity – Not Quite, but Pretty Good!


The 2Go only has one button which you press for a second to turn off and on, and then to cycle through the 6 levels of intensity.  I tried it on all 6 settings and found I enjoyed 5 or 6 for a quickie.  If you want to romance yourself for longer than a minute, I recommend using the lower settings to begin with and then slowly build up to when you want to climax, for longer, more powerful orgasms.  And, while it doesn’t have the same intensity of the Pro 40 which goes up to 11 levels of power, it is still pretty freaking intense.

Clit Sucking Intensity—Like WOW!

There is something about that clitoral sucking air technology that is totally unique and leaves you utterly mesmeric.  It actually does feel like your clitoris is being sucked (not quite like oral sex), and like your whole clitoris is trembling and quaking from deep within, which results in a super-powered fast orgasm that you just can’t hold back.  I also notice that my orgasms are much deeper with the Womanizer than any other type of clitoral pleasuring toy or vibe, which feels more like a full-bodied orgasm, compared to the quick sneeze-release type of clitoral orgasms I am used to. And, for some reason I can’t help squirting every time I use the Womanizer either, which I normally need G-spot stimulation to produce. So, while the 2Go may not be quite as intense as the other Womanizer models, it will still blow your socks off.

Guaranteed Orgasms 100% of the Time

Because it is so reliable I would recommend it for beginners and for women who may have a hard time reaching orgasm from other types of stimulation.  In fact, in a pilot study (2016) on 22 women, with average age of 56, by Urologist and Sexual Health Expert, Dr. Jennifer Berman, entitled “Treatment of Orgasmic Difficulty in Perimenopausal, Menopausal and Post-Menopausal Women”, researchers found the Womanizer was “highly effective in helping menopausal women improve sexual function, sexual distress and overall quality of life.” —

The study found that:

  • 100% of participants experienced an orgasm using the Womanizer
  • 50% experienced orgasm in 60 seconds or less
  • Majority (86%) experienced an orgasm between 5 – 10 minutes
  • 75% experienced multiple orgasms
  • Majority (86%) believe the Womanizer improved their sexual response
  • 77% reported their overall orgasmic response was a lot better with the Womanizer
  • 77% reported they were more than satisfied with the ease of reaching orgasm
  • 73% reported they were more than satisfied with the intensity of their orgasm

Dr. Berman concluded that, “Now healthcare providers have a viable treatment option to offer patients experiencing orgasmic difficulty or changes in the intensity of orgasm due to aging and menopause.”  — Womanizer Study.

Chic Luxury Design

I love the new chic luxury design of the 2Go as well.  It is so pretty and girly, yet sophisticated and classy at the same time.  It is nice and discreet as well (no-one but you would know it is a pleasure device) and compact enough to put in your purse or to travel with.  It is actually so awesome I bought one for my mother for Mother’s Day and she was orgasmic!

Other Snazzy Specs

  • 100% Waterproof
  • Battery Life – 2 hours
  • 6 Intensity Levels
  • Silent (stealth) Mode
  • Exchangeable XL stimulation head
  • Rechargeable – USB charging port
  • Lighting effect in the dark
  • Easy to Clean
  • ABS Plastic and Silicone, phthalate free
  • Material stimulation head: hypoallergenic medical silicone
  • Comes with Instruction Manual

A Clit’s Best Friend

No matter which Womanizer you choose, there is one for every clitoris.  While the 2Go is great for beginners, it is also just as reliable for seasoned pleasure pros. Unless you need very intense stimulation—then you might want to choose the Womanizer Pro 40—the 2Go is the perfect toy for any female-bodied pleasure seeker, and a clit’s best friend.

Want 1-Minute Orgasms?

Get the Womanizer 2Go!

Thank you to Womanizer for supplying the 2Go for this review!

You can shop at our Sexpert Store here to purchase the Womanizer in any style.



Eye of Love – Pheromone Jewelry

Awaken Your Senses… with Eye of Love Pheromones

Hello Lovers!

Today I am reviewing the Eye of Love Pheromone Jewelry, which was co-created and designed by Dr. Ava Cadell and Eye of Love.

All the pheromone jewelry in the Eye of Love lines are made with black lava rock, which is one of the oldest and most abundant stones on the earth. Lava rock (or Basalt) is an igneous volcanic rock and comes from the earth as molten magma then cools to a hard, porous black surface. It is often used in spas for its healing and energetic properties, because it removes negative energy and emotions to help unblock your energy chakras, while emitting a nurturing warmth.

Considered the stone of courage, confidence and stability, it can be used to ‘ground’ your energy and calm emotions.  Because it was born of fire, it is also considered to also be a stone of strength and passion and is associated with the root and 3rd Chakra and the solar plexus.  Lava stone has also been used to energetically clear spaces and rooms but is often worn on the body as ‘malas’ and bracelets for emotional releasing, and to keep one balanced.  In some folklore, lava stones are considered to be a remedy for infertility and enhancing the libido.  A transformational stone, lava rock is also a stone of rebirth, using its raw energy to shed emotions and habits that no longer serve you.

When worn as jewelry and infused with pheromone scents, lava rock can be used to powerfully attract a new lover when worn close to the skin.

“Sexual pheromones are called “releaser” pheromones, and elicit an immediate sexual response in those who respond to them.  Male pheromones include Androstenone associated with alpha male social dominance. Female pheromones include Androstenedione associated with female desire and Copulines, which is secreted when a woman is ovulating which triggers an increase in testosterone in men.”—Domina Doll, “Pheromones – The Scent of Sex

Pheromone Bead Bracelet – Small

The Eye of Love Pheromone Bead Bracelet is a fashionable mala bracelet made with 33 round lava rock tumbled beads on an elastic string, with a silver bead and EOL silver tag.  The lava beads work as a diffuser when sprayed with Eye of Love Pheromone Parfum, that slowly diffuses the alluring pheromone scent into the air to attract a lover or soul mate. It comes in two sizes, small and large for women and men.

The bracelet includes a 2ml SEDUCE Pheromone Parfum Sample. SEDUCE fragrance features a deeply penetrating blend of bergamot and woodsy Damascus rose caressed by sweet, sultry jasmine undertones.

It’s a very chic jewelry piece, even for people who don’t normally wear jewelry and the intoxicating aroma invites attention.

Pheromone Dogtag Necklace – Silver

The Eye of Love Pheromone Dogtag Necklace features a lava rock rectangle stone mounted on a sleek silver backing with an extra long dog tag chain. Although it was designed for men, this chain could be worn by anyone.

The dog tag includes a 2ml Fierce Pheromone Cologne Sample. Fierce is an über-sexy aroma that seduces her with a spicy hot blend of pink pepper and citrus. Lingering notes of musky amber and patchouli will leave her hungry for more.

I love, love love!.. this sexy dog tag and the Fierce stimulating cologne.

Images above by Domina Doll. All other images by Eye of Love Instagram.

“Eye of Love is a high quality sensual brand specially formulated for moments when you could use an extra touch of romance and attraction. Although pheromones are odorless, Eye of Love has added special fragrances to enhance their effect and outcome. The perfumes and pheromones work on two entirely different levels. The pheromone is odorless and stimulates a chemical reaction while the fragrance complements and enhances the particular mood.”—

You can read my reviews of the Pheromone perfumes here and also find out how pheromones actually work!

Buy Eye of Love Pheromones at our Store.

Eye of Love Pheromone Jewelry can be purchased at

Linda Joy Giveaway – Over 50 Free Gifts!


Hello Sexperts!

Are you ready to enjoy deeper intimacy and show others how to experience a fulfilling love life?

Dr. Ava has teamed up with Linda Joy, publisher of Aspire Magazine, to be part of her INSPIRED LIVING GIVEAWAY where she brings together dozens of amazing women healers, teachers, coaches, health practitioners and more to offer incredible packages and empowering gifts made just for women – all FREE!

Just sign up and scroll down to find Dr. Ava’s offer! It’s regularly $349.00, but during Linda Joy’s Spring Giveaway, it’s FREE!

Dr. Ava is thrilled to be making her special offer at this Linda Joy event – details below. All you have to do is sign up to Inspired Living for free, and then peruse the many tantalizing offers including hers!


What you’ll get:
Tantra for Lovers Coaching Class (45 mins)
The Tantric Lab Audio Course (30 mins)
The Tantra Teleseminar Audio Tantra: Relationship Enrichment and Journey to Sensual Enlightenment with Dr. Ava Cadell (45 minutes)
Dr. Ava’s Tantra Workbook (70 pages)
The Master Your Own Energy Video
Dr. Ava’s Tantric Love For Deeper Intimacy Video Workshop (57 minutes)

Master Expert Videos:
Ask The Expert – Gurutej on Energizing Yourself (17 minutes, 47 seconds)
Ask The Expert – Laurie Handlers on Sensual Enlightenment (10 minutes, 30 seconds)
Ask The Expert – Destin Gerek on Sensual Mastery (12 minutes, 55 seconds)
Tantric Massage by Brett Stephenson (48 minutes)

Claim your transformational gifts today >

Now through April 22nd, you can claim over 50 high-value transformational resources. You’ll discover thousands of dollars in complimentary resources from some of today’s leading experts, visionaries and new thought leaders, as well as up-and-coming movers and shakers with a treasure trove of supportive resources to help you:

support the truth of who you really are
support you in creating a nurturing self-care practice
reconnect with your divinity
help you get centered
create a success mindset
fuel your business success
open your heart to love and healing
tap into your creativity
transform your precious relationships
heal your wounded heart
write your transformational book
build a thriving online business
connect with your divinity
tap into natures to manifest your deepest desires
reclaim your authentic voice
and much more!

Take inspired action now!  The doors close at midnight ET on Sunday, April 22nd.

Claim your transformational gifts today >

We invite you to open your heart and arms to receive the abundance of loving support and valuable resources offered in the Inspired Living Giveaway.

Lots of LOVEology,

Dr. Ava Spreads the Word About Sexual Healing

We reported on March 8th, that Dr. Ava was honored by Sexual Health Magazine with a featured cover article [read about it here] called “From Sex Symbol to Sex Guru”, where Editor-in-chief Ariana Rodriguez interviewed her about how her life journey from a refugee, to orphan, to sex symbol to sexpert led to a successful career in sexology, her new sexual healing book, what’s new with Sexycises and her pheromone jewelry line with Eye of Love.

Read the full article here on Sexual Health Magazine.

In addition to her cover article, Dr. Ava was interviewed in two other magazine features below!

In the VoyageLa interview, Dr. Ava talks about her early beginnings and how she was inspired to teach about love and sex, and become a Sexologist. She also talks about her passion for training other aspiring Love and Sexuality Coaches worldwide, as well as her charity work and other projects she is working on.  Read more below…


In Naluda Magazine, Dr. Ava talks about her work as “a world traveler and … sexual healer.”  The article also gets personal, asking fun questions about what a normal day in Dr. Ava’s world is like, what music she likes to chill to, 3 things she can’t leave the house without and more!

You can check out the article below:

Naluda Magazine.


How to Last Longer in Bed – His and Her Guide

One of the most common questions I get asked is, “How long should sex last?”, usually followed by “What advice do you have for me (or my man) to last longer?”. So we thought it was time to create the definitive guide for couples about this common sexual issue.

Do Couples Even Want to Have Longer-Lasting Sex?

I did some research and found that the length of time of sex is a common complaint among both men and women in the many sex surveys done by a variety of publications, including  Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, and Esquire. In the Cosmopolitan article Here’s How Long Sex Should Last for a Woman’s Maximum Enjoyment, author Laura Beck studied the topic and writes:

“A 2004 study published in the Journal of Sex Research found study participants enjoyed 11 to 13 minutes of foreplay followed by seven to eight minutes of intercourse. That’s pretty good but not as good as what the participants wanted: double the time for the sex! So maybe it’s that women want a good amount of foreplay and then an additional 14 to 16 minutes of doing the deed.”

This theme of a desire for sex in the 20+ minutes is quite common, while the average man only lasts 5-6 minutes.

So That Makes Most Men Premature Ejaculators, Right?

If both men and women want sex to last longer, and the termination of sex almost always coincides with male orgasm (the frustrating truth for many women), then most men would be considered premature ejaculators, wouldn’t they? Yes – but do we have to use that phrase? No moniker strikes more fear into men than that one. But it shouldn’t be that way. Why is it called premature if it’s so common? How about we just strike “premature ejaculation” from the conversation and let’s just say that there’s plenty of couples that want to have longer-lasting sex.

Isn’t It Just Mind Over Matter?

For those of you not old enough to remember the world of men’s sexual health prior to the introduction of Viagra in 1998, there was issue called “impotence” – the inability to obtain and sustain an erection. Nowadays, it is called “erectile dysfunction”. Men with ED spent countless hours and money visiting therapists, reading books, and watching VHS tapes (back then) with mental trickery that could supposedly solve the problem. None of it worked. Viagra changed everything. No one is talking about psychotherapy to fix ED anymore.

Fast forward 20 years and we have a similar situation with premature ejaculation. Men continue to spend lots of money on therapy and “training” and, just like with ED, none of it helps men last longer during sex. Sure, therapy can help men cope with PE but I have scoured the literature and I cannot find a single study that shows psychotherapy helps men delay orgasm.

What Causes Male Orgasm?

If we’re going to advise you about how to delay orgasm, we should first try to understand what causes a man to ejaculate.

It’s quite complex, involving the central nervous system and mostly two organs – the penis and the brain. Many of you out there may think that once a man is aroused, his brain shuts off and the penis takes over! Seriously, though, drugs like alcohol and opioids that depress the central nervous system generally result in delayed orgasm. Numerous studies have shown that men who take anti-depressants in the form of SSRIs that increase serotonin levels in the brain will delay ejaculation during sex. Nevertheless, penis sensitivity is considered the key factor in a man’s ejaculation control. And some men have a higher penis sensitivity than others and a small percent are hypersensitive. It’s also the easiest to manage.

After ejaculation, men lose their ability to sustain an erection. The time until he can once again achieve an erection is called the refractory period.  For young men with refractory periods of less than 10 minutes, early ejaculation is often not a problem as he can often keep his partner sexually aroused until he can begin intercourse again. A man’s refractory period lengthens with age and the opportunity for a quick recovery diminishes such that he typically only has a single ejaculation in a sexual session. Thus, the emphasis for most men on climax control.

Ways to Last longer in Bed Right Now

Here are some sure-fired ways (and a few duds) on how to last longer in bed.  Mostly for him but she can also participate, if not directly, then with patience and support.

Long-term Prep: Drugs and Exercises

I’m not in favor of prescription drugs for having longer-lasting sex as there are so many other good methods and treatments.  Exercises? I have yet to see any proof that they work. In an effort to provide a complete list, here are the ways you can extend the time to climax:

  • Anti-depressants – an off-label prescription of a daily SSRI (e.g. Zoloft, Paxil) will help most men delay ejaculation. Side effects are numerous including, of all things, loss of libido. My least favorite idea.
  • Tramadol – Some men have obtained improvement when using this opioid and, for some men, taken only hours prior to sex. It’s falling out of favor as new topical desensitizing medications are effective and have very little side effects. Did I mention it’s an opioid?
  • Priligy / Dapoxetine – for those living outside the US, you can probably obtain this fast-acting anti-depressant that is taken 1-3 hours before sex. It’s popular in other countries but a recent study showed that 90% of men stop using this drug within a year.
  • Kegel Exercises – While this method may help (studies are contradictory), you have to do a lot of kegels for a long time consistently before you would see any results.


  • Whiskey Dick – Maybe the worst last-longer sex hack.  Alcohol depresses the central nervous system and generally makes your body, including your penis, less sensitive to stimulation. There are many better ways to delay ejaculation. I only mention it specifically to discourage men from considering this stupid idea.
  • Masturbate prior to having sex. This is a very effective way to last longer. Ejaculate as close in time as possible to when you plan to have sex, but careful; make sure it’s a longer time than your typical refractory period.
  • What about marijuana? There’s been only one study in Australia and the results appear inconclusive. Given that marijuana warps the perception of time, maybe men think they’re lasting longer.
  • Use a desensitizer, often referred to as a delay spray. These products use a formula with an active ingredient of either benzocaine or lidocaine delivered in a small spray bottle. Apply directly on the penis to reduce sensitivity. They work great but with the wrong product or improper application, both partners can lose sexual sensation. Our favorite is Promescent – its advanced absorption formula allows the man to maintain great sexual sensation with virtually no transfer to his partner.

There’s clinical data on Promescent’s performance and their website also has a wealth of information about male sexual health including information about how to last longer in bed.

  • Stamina Pills – I have serious doubts that any of these products actually work, especially when many of them have been caught lacing their powders with sildenafil (generic Viagra) – FDA Warning of Tainted Sexual Health Products. Stay away.
  • What about ED drugs? PDE-5 inhibitors such as Viagra, Levitra and Cialis won’t make men last longer but they can shorter a man’s refractory period, and he will then have a much better chance to ejaculate twice in a single sex session and last much longer the second time around. Consult a physician before taking one of these prescription drugs.

During Sex

If you’re 100% dedicated to a natural method, try these.


  • Start / Stop Method – This one has been around since couples started having sex for pleasure rather than just for procreation. Doesn’t need any explanation except guys – don’t wait until just before you’re ready to ejaculate to stop. When you get close to the point of no return, you won’t last a minute when you get going again.
  • Squeeze Method – Just like it sounds. When the man gets close to ejaculation, he or is partner squeezes his penis hard enough to decrease sexual desire. Pain is stronger than pleasure!
  • Sandwich Technique – I learned this by reading sexual medicine expert Dr. Michael Werner’s Maze Men’s Health (see Treatment Options). For men with short refractory periods (men under 30), “sandwich” foreplay between two orgasms. Start sex with rapid stimulation to an intended quick ejaculation; then foreplay until he achieves erection again.
  • Distraction Techniques – The only good that I can say about this idea is that there aren’t any side effects other than bad sex. Can we just stop this myth once and for all? And even if it did help, who wants to be thinking about his grandmother naked while having sex?

And the Winner is … I recommend a topical desensitizer. They’re very effective, easy to use, low cost per use, have minimal side effects and don’t need a prescription. They are gaining tremendous popularity.

© 2018 Absorption Pharmaceuticals

How to Choose a Condom and Types of Condoms

In honor of National Condom Month, I thought it would be appropriate to do a post on condoms, all the different varieties, and how to choose a condom.

Condom Overview

Condoms are 99.9% effective in preventing the transmission of HIV and other STIs if used consistently and correctly for sexual encounters.

STI Facts and Statistics

According to the United Sates Department of Health and Human Services, about 19 million new sexually transmitted infections are thought to occur each year. These infections affect women and men of all backgrounds and economic levels.

There more than 30 different bacteria, viruses, and parasites that can cause an STI. Bacterial STIs include chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and bacterial vaginosis. Viral STIs include genital herpes, hepatitis B, HPV and HIV. Parasitic STIs include trichomoniasis.

How to Protect Yourself Against STIs

One of the best ways to protect yourself against STIs, apart from abstinence, is to use condoms: male condoms, female condoms and dental dams.

Male Condoms

Male condoms are one of the most popular forms of birth control out there. They are placed over the male penis to prevent pregnancy and lower the risk of STIs by keeping the males sperm inside the condom and out of your vagina.

The male condom is rolled over the erect or hardened penis and prevents against direct contact between the penis and vagina. The condom must be removed before the erection ends or the sperm can leak out.

Male condoms come in a variety of brands, types of rubbers, shapes and sizes to choose from, with lube and without, which is why it is extremely important to find the condom that works for you and your partner.

It’s important to note that latex, polyisoprene, polyurethane are the only condoms that protect against HIV & STI. Polyurethane and Polyisoprene offer great alternatives to people with latex allergies. Also, keep in mind that natural/lamb skin condoms are only useful for pregnancy prevention and NOT HIV or STI prevention.

Types of Male Condoms

So, now that you have decided between male condom, female condom or dental dam, let’s explore the wide arrange of male condoms that are available on the market.

Latex Condoms

Latex condoms are the most common type of male condom.  They are reliable in helping to prevent STIs and pregnancy.  Many people have latex allergies however, so this type of condom should be avoided if you experience a rash, itchiness, irritation or redness after condom sex.  Your doctor can also give you an allergy test to see if you are allergic to latex.

Non-latex Condoms

There are non-latex condoms on the market made out of synthetic materials such as polyisoprene, and polyurethane, as well as made out of lambskin.  However, non-latex synthetic condoms have a higher rate of breakage, so are effective 95% of the time.

Lifestyles Skyn Condoms are made with polyisoprene.  Trojan Supra condoms are made from polyurethane, a latex alternative.

Lambskin condoms protect against pregnancy, but are not as effective as regular latex condoms, and do NOT protect against STIs and HIV because they have small pores that allow some viruses to pass through.  Lambskin condoms are made by Trojan NaturalLamb and are a natural animal material made of real lamb skin.  The provide heightened sensitivity and are roomier than regular condoms.

Spermicidal Condoms

Spermicidal Condoms usually contain a spermicide called Nonoxynol-9 which reduces the number of active sperm, thereby decreasing the risk of pregnancy if erection is lost before withdrawal and some semen spills outside the condom, or if a condom breaks.  However, Nonoxynol-9 has been shown to irritate the cells in the vagina or rectum causing tiny tears in the mucus membranes which could potentially increase the risk of getting an STD or an infection, including increased chances of getting the HIV virus. Check labels and avoid condoms with N-9.

Lubricated Condoms

It is really important to lubricate a condom in order for it not to break via friction.  When using your own lubricant only use water-based or silicone lubricant as oil-based lubes will break down the condom material and make them ineffective.  The majority of condoms come pre-lubricated for convenience.

Ultra thin

Ultra thin condoms are thinner so therefore provide more sensation like texture and temperature and feel more like sex without a condom.

Durex has a brand called Invisible which maximizes the sensitivity between you and your partner for an amazingly Intimate and closer than close experience.

Extra Large Condoms

Extra large condoms come in XL and XXL and are for “big boys” “latex kings” and “magnum” dongs, that is, very large penises.  Small condoms that don’t fit can cut off circulation, which can make the penis go limp.  They can also rip, tear or burst open if the condom is too small, so not very safe.  Make sure you buy the right size condom for your dick.  In the case of condoms, size does matter.

Extra Head

Extra Head condoms include have more head room which allows for more friction and sensation on the head of the penis.  They are also bigger to accommodate large headed penises. Kimono Max is a good option for these types of condoms.

Textured Condoms

Textured Condoms come in Ribbed, Studded and Swirly to give the receiver more pleasure during sexual penetration.  These condoms also tend to be roomier with bulb-like tips for extra head room.

Cooling, Warming & Tingling Condoms

Cooling, Warming & Tingling Condoms were all designed to heighten sensation using various gels lubricants, like Trojan’s Platinum Pack comes with assorted condoms that contains all three types.

Desensitizing Condoms

Desensitizing Condoms make you last longer because they have a delay spray inside of them that numb the penis (partially) so the guy can last longer.

Japanese Condoms

Many people love Japanese Condoms because of their superior quality and because they are extra thin, so great for enhanced sensation. Two major brands Kimono and Beyond Seven.

Flavored Condoms

Flavored Condoms come in many different varieties such as fruit flavors, chocolate, vanilla, spearmint, cola, candy and even bacon.  They are great for giving BJs, but not so great for penetrative sex as they could cause yeast infection in women who are prone to them.

Scented Condoms

Yes, Scented Condoms, and why not, because maybe you don’t want to smell your partner?  I mean really?  If that was the case I probably wouldn’t want to have sex with them either, just saying.

Glow in the Dark Condoms

Glow in the Dark Condoms are used for when you lose your lover in the darkness?  Maybe?  Okay, maybe not, but they are fun to play with I guess.  Unlike novelty condoms, these do protect against STIs and pregnancy.

Novelty Condom

A Novelty Condom is the type that fits over your head.  These can’t be used for safer sex for obvious reasons.

Female Condoms

Credit: U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Female Condoms are a great alternative to male condoms because it puts the woman in control of her sexual health, and she can decide to wear the condom.  They have a 95% success rate at preventing pregnancy and STIs, so just slightly less effective than male condoms.

The female condom is a pouch with flexible rings at each end. Before vaginal intercourse, the ring inside the pouch is inserted deep into the vagina, holding the condom in the vagina. The penis is directed into the pouch through the ring at the open end, which stays outside the vaginal opening during intercourse.

Warning: Female condoms and male condoms cannot be worn at the same time. The friction of intercourse will cause both condoms to break… which defeats the purpose.

Additional benefits of the female condom include:

  • Women can still protect themselves even if their partner refuses to wear a condom.
  • Women can insert a female condom for up to 6 hours before intercourse, so it doesn’t interfere with the “heat of the moment”.
  • The female condom can be used if one or both parties have an allergy to latex.
  • The female condom is available over the counter without a prescription.
  • The female condom offers additional protection as compared to the male condom because it covers the labia or the “lips” of the vagina.
  • Because the female condom is made of polyurethane, which is a slightly thicker rubber than latex, it creates a warming sensation during sex.

A little to trick to enhance sensation for the male partner is to place a little water-based or silicone based lubricant inside of the female condom. This will provide more sensation for him.

Dental Dams

A dental damn is a thin, square sheet of latex or polyurethane used for oral to vaginal sex and oral to anal sex to help prevent the persons mouth from coming in contact with any bodily fluids. During oral sex, dental dams should be placed between your mouth and the vagina. During anal sex, dental dams are placed between your mouth and the anus.

Dental dams should only be used one time and on one area of the body before being thrown away. You should never flip (or turn over) already used dental dams because that could result in the exchange of body fluids. Dental dams can also be used with lubricants for increased sensation. You can also put a bit of lubricant (that isn’t oil based) on the side of the dental dam that touches the skin to keep the latex from sticking.

Dental dams also come in a variety of glycerin free flavors to help with the taste.