Masturbation – Epic Guide to Solo Sex

31 Ways to Masturbate – Epic Guide to Masturbation and Solo Sex

May Is Masturbation Month: A Brief History of Masturbation

We’ve created a month-long challenge to encourage you to explore your pleasure and sensuality as a self-love ritual everyday.

Why Create a Daily Sensual Practice?

There are many studies that show that masturbating is good for you, for both men and women. Beyond being good for you both physically and emotionally, cultivating a daily self-love practice helps you learn to love and appreciate your body’s amazing ability to give you pleasure. It also helps you build and harness your sexual super power (Shakti) which is your creative energy that allows you to manifest (birth) what you want in your life.

So, give yourself a few minutes every day (we recommend 5 minutes to an hour or more) to give yourself some self-love and nurture your sexuality, so you can master the art of self-pleasure, learn what you body likes beyond the basics (maybe even surprise yourself!), cultivate longer, more expansive, full-bodied orgasms and even tap into sexual pleasure as a spiritual practice.

Masturbation Month-long Challenge

Here is a lost of ideas that you can use to explore masturbation and self-pleasure. You don’t have to follow these in any order and there are no rules except to explore your body, orgasmic potential and pleasure.

Try not to make this challenge goal orientated, with orgasm as the goal. Rather make this challenge more about exploring new ways to pleasure yourself and finding out what your body is capable of.

All you need to do is to commit to trying a new way to self-pleasure every day, and choose from the list below for ideas (or come up with your own new way to explore masturbation).

Okay, are you ready?

Let’s do this!

  1. Quick Release Orgasm

The first type of orgasm you can explore is your usual method of masturbation. For many of us, this is the quick release orgasm, where we jill or jack off for a few minutes and then have a quick peak orgasm (like a sneeze), then its over.

This is not a bad kind of orgasm; it is great for relieving stress and getting off quickly when we need it. So, just do what you normally do to get yourself off. This will be a good starting point, where you can compare the other types of self-pleasure and orgasms you may experience during the challenge with what you are normally used to.

Read more about the 15 Types of Female Orgasms a girl can have!

  1. Slow, Sensual Exploration

Most of us rush through masturbation in order to get the quick release type of orgasm we are used to. Why? A) Because it works, B) we are a society that wants instant gratification, and C) well, just because we are lazy.

But, there can be a lot of pleasure and self-knowledge you are missing out on by taking the slooow route.

In couple’s therapy there is a practice called Sensate Focus. Developed by Masters and Johnson, it was created to help sexual problems by reducing anxiety caused by goal orientated sex and increasing communication, pleasure and closeness. Used by couples, it can help enhance their sexual relationships.

However, this kind of idea can work for solo sex as well, as a slow sensual way to explore pleasure. The exercise focuses on touching yourself, with orgasm NOT being the main goal. In fact, you should try staying away from the erogenous zones (genitals and breasts), and try touching other parts of your body in different ways to relearn how to slow down and FEEL pleasure.

To do this you may want to take an hour or more. Make sure you will not be interrupted. Set the scenes (candles, music, massage oils). Gather some sensual things to play with: erotic feather dusters, blindfold, silk scarves, warm massage candles, fur, ice cubes, erotic pinwheels, scents or pheromones.

Begin with the scalp, running your fingers through your hair and giving yourself a scalp massage. Then move down to the face and lightly touch your eyelids, lips, nose, chin, neck, ears. Continue moving down the body trying various types of touch, while taking note of your sensual and sexual responses (all the while avoiding the erogenous zones).

You may finish with erotic stimulation to the breasts and genitals, but again, orgasm is not the goal. Exploration and finding different ways to arouse yourself it key. Oh, and no vibrators allowed for this practice!

  1. Loving Breast Massage

In Taoist Sexuality there is a practice called the Female Deer Practice. This practice cultivates sexual energy, raises libido, improves vitality and releases toxins, tonifies the female endocrine system, heightens sensuality, as well as releasing feel-good hormones oxytocin, DHEA, increases blood flow to the breasts and genitals, and helps spread sexual energy throughout the body for full-body orgasms. This practice also increases breast size and firmness.

Plus, you can learn to orgasm from breast and nipple stimulation alone as well, which is an added bonus.

Nipple and Breast Orgasms: What They Are & How to Have One

Here’s how…

Get naked. Sit in Siddhasana, on a cushion with one heel of your foot against your vagina with subtle pressure against the clitoris (or genitals).

Get out some yummy massage oil. I like fractionated coconut oil mixed with sensual oils (try lavender, cedar, ylang ylang, patchouli, sandalwood, nerolini, or rose oils).

Apply massage oils to hands and rub together vigorously to create heat. Place them gently over the breasts, hold and smile (placing the tip of your tongue against the roof of your mouth just behind your front teeth – this helps connect the endocrine energy circuit within your body), breathing deeply as you send loving energy down into the breasts.

Detox Breasts: Next, massage in circles around the breasts in an outward motion: together up the outside of the breasts, then inward and downwards between the breasts. This method is called the dispersion method and it helps to release toxins. It may also reduce and prevent lumps and breast cancer. The dispersion method can help to decrease the size of large, flabby breasts and help firm them. Do this 36 times.

Stimulate Breasts: Next, massage the breasts in opposite circles in an inward motion, up between the breasts and outward and down on the outsides of the breasts. This method is called stimulation massage and stimulates sexual energy. It is said to also stimulate breast size to enlarge breasts. However, avoid this method if you have a history of breast cancer in your family.

Holding Firm: The final part of this exercise is called “Holding Firm”. Form your hands into fists with fingers around thumbs and rest hands on your lap. Next tighten the vagina muscles (like doing kegels) and hold while breathing deeply in a relaxed manner. Keep anal sphincter and stomach relaxed, only squeezing the vaginal muscles.

That’s it!

Warnings! Do not do this exercise during menstruation. Only do the Dispersion Method if you have a family history of breast cancer.

See a demonstration of the Deer Exercise below:


  1. Yoni Massage

Genital massage not only aids in sexual stimulation, but it promotes blood flow to the vulva which is beneficial for genital health.  So by taking the time out to relax and give yourself a genital massage, you are doing your body as well as your sexual libido a favour!

How to Give Yourself a Yoni Massage

Find a quiet room and lock the door so you won’t be interrupted.  Put on music, light candles or incense to get you in the mood.

Lie down in a comfortable position, propping yourself up with pillows beneath your back and letting your legs hang loosely open, or try lying on your stomach to aid in accessing the genitals easier.  Immerse yourself in erotic thoughts or simply concentration on your body’s sensations.  Breathe deeply, for this increases the flow of blood to the genitals and helps you to relax.

Next, use a mirror to explore the beauty of your own vulva, opening the labia lips and finding the clitoris as your massage yourself.  Betty Dodson recommends trimming or shaving beforehand for a heightened sense of awareness, but that is totally up to you.

Your hands should be clean and nails should be trimmed or kept away from soft tissues by using the pads of the fingers.  Begin with a very light touch on the genitals, using one hand for stimulation and the other to hold your labia lips open.  Some women find direct stimulation of the clitoris painful, or ticklish, so slowly increase the amount of pressure only as you become more aroused.  Use a lube, which enhances all sexual activities by making the genitals slick and slippery.

Rest the heel of your hand on the pubis mons, where the pubic hair begins.  You can begin by stimulating the labia lips with your fingers, using light rubbing and tickling techniques.  You can gently grasp the shaft of the clitoris and slide the hood back and forth or gently move the tissue under your finger around in small circles.

Gradually, you can increase the stimulation and may be able to apply pressure to the clit itself by tapping it lightly.  Many women find that the top, right side of their clitoris is more sensitive than other areas.  You can work around the clit in a circular motion as well.  You can try inserting a finger or two into the vagina and using your palm to stimulate the clit. Experiment with different strokes or speeds to see what feels best, building a repetitive rhythm.

Other techniques include:

Womb drumming: where you lightly drum over your womb area, thighs and labia with the palms of your hands to stimulate blood flow.

Pussy Petting:  This technique uses both hands to alternately stroke up the vulva in a slow, rhythmic motion, warming up the tissue to get the blood flowing.

The Squeeze Tease:  This technique involves softly pinching the outer labia together, working up and down the lips.

Outer and Inner Labia Massage: This method involves opening the labia and squeezing along each side of the outer lips.  This is then repeated with the inner labia.

The purpose of Yoni Massage is to awaken your libido, get to know your beautiful pussy in a more intimate and loving manner, to explore your genitals slow and sensually and to find new ways to stimulate yourself (especially if you rely on a vibrator for masturbation).

  1. OM – Orgasmic Meditation

Orgasmic meditation (or “OM”) is sexual wellness practice that combines mindfulness, touching, and pleasure.

It is usually done as a partnered experience where the giver strokes the woman’s clitoris very slow and lightly, to learn how to consciously experience pleasure and bring one into the moment and becoming embodied, rather than in the mind. It can also be done solo as well.

To do it you lightly stroke the upper-left quadrant of the clitoris in an up-and-down motion, building desire and pleasure.

Here is a complete guide to OM at

  1. Tantric Masturbation: Sex Magic for One

The goal of Tantra is to explore sacred sexuality as a spiritual act of love and pleasure, to undergo personal transformation, and to find the balance within through mystical consciousness or connection with the divine. Again, this is not goal-orientated, at least to begin with, but more about exploration. Go slow and just enjoy giving yourself pleasure.

How to Do Tantra for One

Lay comfortably on your back, arms at sides, palms pressed lightly against the floor.  Close your eyes and breathe deeply from the stomach and chest, feeling the tension flow out of you with each exhale.  Your breathing should be slow, rhythmic and peaceful, not forced or unnatural.  Feel yourself grounding into the earth and connecting with earth energy.

Practice conscious breathing by placing the heels of your hands to the sides of your rib cage, against the bottom ribs.  Become aware of your breath for a moment, and allow it to become slow and rhythmic. As you breathe slowly through the nose, concentrate quietly on how the ribs in and out, pressing your hands in gently into the ribs and then release with the exhale.

One you have practiced this, continue to breathe, making your breath circular: Inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth making the breathing completely “circular” with no pauses between inhales and exhales.  This type of breathing is especially good when trying to cycle orgasmic energy through your body.

Begin to stimulate yourself through masturbation until you reach the edge of the plateau stage, the point of no return or last possible moment that you can abstain from orgasm.  At this point, stop stimulating yourself and breath very slowly and deeply until the desire to orgasm fades.  Continue to do this several times, each time reaching the edge of orgasm, then pulling back and not allowing yourself to climax.  This technique takes practice, so don’t worry if you go over the edge the first couple of tries.  Through practice you will be able to slow down stimulation, rather than stopping completely and continue to build this heightened state of awareness.

Continuous Orgasm

You can learn to have long continuous whole-body orgasms via Tantra masturbation. Continue to edge your orgasm and while doing so, contract your PC muscles and move your hips, imagining as you do that the orgasmic energy is circulating through your body with the breath.

When you do finally orgasm see if you can keep the orgasm going, continuing to stimulate, and ride the orgasm out in longer and longer waves.

  1. G-spot & Amrita

The G-spot is located 1-2 inches inside the vagina on the front wall and the stimulation of this area is what accounts of g-spot orgasms.  G-spot orgasms can occur with or without female ejaculation.

G-spot orgasms are obtained with the sexual stimulation of the vaginal wall.  Stimulation can be achieved through vaginal penetration by G-spot vibrators or dildos, sexual intercourse with a partner, using fingers, as well as indirectly through the anus during anal sex or play.

G-spot play can also lead to female ejaculation or Amrita (squirting).

Here is an excellent article on squirting, and How to Find & Stimulate the G-spot.

  1. Deep Spot Cervical De-armoring

The Cervix, or Deep Spot, can be an amazing part of your anatomy to explore for seep, powerful, full-body orgasms. Unfortunately, many women have not experienced deep spot orgasm because toughing there can often feel painful or numb. This is because the vagina (g-spot and especially the cervix) hold into trauma with cellular memory.

“Hurtful comments, fear, stress, shame, guilt, anger, negative body image, abuse, trauma, etc; all of this becomes stored in the cervix…”–Madison Rosenberger. This also includes traumatic gynecological exams, birth trauma, sexual abuse and rape, and even just general tension.

To remove these pent up emotions and traumas, you can use a technique called “Cervical De-Armoring”. To do this you will need a yoni wand (glass, crystal or stone work best).

See steps to doing Cervical De-Armoring Here.

Here is a great video by Tamarah Blossom on Vaginal De-Armoring Your Vagina & Cervix.

  1. Goddess Bath

Venus, the Goddess of sexual love was said to have risen from the foaming waves of the sea: divine beauty birthed from the waters of life.  Water is naturally purifying, for water is the source from which all life flows.  Erotic bathing is a very sensual experience.  It allows you to pay special attention to yourself: to love your body; to wash the negative energy from your being after a hard day’s work.  Erotic bathing is a self-loving ritual you can perform anytime you need to relax, to cleanse yourself of stressful thoughts and make you feel tranquil and alive.

You should give yourself at least one hour of more for this ritual. It can be done anytime of the month, but I like doing it on the new or full moons.

Turn the lights off and light some candles so your optical nerves can bask in the warmth and darkness. Add essential oils and bath salts to help hydrate the skin and relax. Put on some meditative type music.

Begin by running yourself a hot bath, pouring in aromatic essence oils such as lavender, Ylang Ylang, sandalwood or any scent you most prefer.  You may also pour in bath salts or bath oils.  If you have planned ahead for the session, you may want to add fresh petals from a rose to float upon the surface; a truly sensuous experience.

Light many candles, placing them all around the bathtub and turn out the electric lights to give your optical nerves a break.  You may turn on some soft music such as whale songs or simply focus on the sound of the water.

Step into the hot steaming bath and slowly immerse yourself in the relaxing watery heat.  Lay for a long time, allowing all the tension of the day to drain out of you into the water.  You may want to immerse your whole head and face under the water and listen to the sounds of the deep calling to you, feeling one with this underwater realm.

When you come up for air begin your rhythmic breathing, watching the candlelight flicker over the walls, reflecting off the ripples in the water.  Perform a few gentle stretches as you lay there, arching your back, bending your knees to your chest, leaning forward to touch your toes.  Using your favorite bath gel, wash yourself all over.  As you are soaping your skin, luxuriate in the feel of your flesh.  Imagine that you are washing all the days’ worries from your mind, all the tensions from your body.

Next, begin to self-pleasure. You may find using a silicone lubricant is useful as it doesn’t wash away in water. Try using your fingers, the shower nozzle, and even a waterproof sex toy.

Take your time, explore and luxuriate in your own pleasure.

  1. Anal Exploration

If you have been curious and wanting to try anal sex, now may be the perfect time to explore it.

Why? The anus has numerous erotic nerve endings and anal play can be sexually super-charged for many people.

Here is our awesome and Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex to learn more about how to self-pleasure that are.

Sexpert’s Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex

  1. Blended Orgasm

So, you know how to have a clitoral orgasm and how to have a G-spot one now, why not try a blended orgasm? This one is simple. Just stimulate both erogenous areas to orgasm.

If you like you can exchange G-spot for deep spot or anal pleasure with clitoral stimulation as well!

  1. Try Edging

What is Edging?

Edging is the practice of sexually teasing yourself util you almost orgasm, then backing off.

“Essentially, this means stopping sexual stimulation before you come, waiting about 30 seconds, and then stimulating yourself again, repeating until you’re ready to orgasm.”

Learn all about how to do edging in this guide: A Guide to Mastering Orgasm Control for More Satisfying Sex.

  1. Mutual Masturbation

So, you been playing around solo for a while and maybe things are getting a bit boring? Or maybe not, but you’d like to add a bit of partner play into your exploration.

Why not try mutual masturbation? This is when you self-stimulate with your partner watching you watching them do the same.

Double Your Pleasure With Mutual Masturbation

The reason you may want to try this as it is super sexy and exciting, not to mention visually stimulating, plus it teaches you both how you like to be pleasured.

Read some tips on Mutual Masturbation here.

  1. Multiple Orgasms

Multiple orgasms are a series of orgasms occurring within a short time frame, usually one right after the other, like pop corn popping. If a woman is continually stimulated after reaching orgasm, her heightened state of arousal can invite orgasm after orgasm.

While some women state that multiple orgasms occur during sexual intercourse, the majority say that they experience multiple orgasms with clitoral stimulation during masturbation.  Some women experience multiple orgasms through the combined stimulation of clitoris and vagina.

To try out multiple orgasms (similar to continuous orgasms), try your desire method of stimulation, and add edging.

Once you go over the edge into orgasm, try to continue the stimulation past the point of where you feel “too sensitive” to continue building arousal, and keep your orgasm going.

I find this easiest to do with G-spot orgasm, and find I can orgasm on and on for up to an hour doing this solo (until I collapse from exhaustion!).

PS: Remember to keep hydrated as well!

  1. Oral Stimulator

Ok, you can use a sex toy with this method. In fact, it is all about using an Oral Stimulator like the Womanizer to experience an amazing type of orgasm that feels like oral sex.

The Womanizer, or Satisfyer are both good vibes to try out for this. Basically, each vibe has a suction-like tip that you place around the clitoris. Turn the vibe on and these devices will suck the orgasm out of you in one minute (usually), or less!

  1. Arousing Clitoral Gel

Stimulating Balms are gels that are used on the clitoris and sometimes g-spot to create more intense arousal. These often warm, cool or tingle and have ingredients that bring the blood to the genital area. Some contain menthol or peppermint oil as well.  There are also many new oils out that contain CBD oils to enhance stimulation you can try out too.

  1. Fantasize

This one is easy. All you need for this is your imagination!

During this exercise try thinking yourself off (at least for the first part). Get yourself into a sexy secret fantasy and visualize and you lay beneath the covers naked. Close the curtain and turn of the lights so the room is nice and dark, which will allow you to get deeper into your fantasy.

At first, try not to touch yourself and just allow the idea of the fantasy to arouse you? Have you ever had an orgasm from a dream? This is very similar, where you just allow your mind to create the erotic stimulation to get yourself off. See how far you can go on the erotic mind alone.

Need some erotic ideas?

Years before “Fifty Shades”, Nancy Friday’s book “My Secret Garden” compiled women’s private fantasies from hundreds of interviews to expose the sometimes shocking landscape of female erotic desires. When it was published in 1973, the book was ground-breaking for establishing that women’s fantasies indeed exist and were just as hardcore and taboo as men’s.

Nearly a half century later, women’s intimate imaginings are even more diverse and provocative than before.

Check out Top 10 Women’s Secret Sexual Fantasies below.

Top 10 Women’s Secret Sexual Fantasies

  1. Focus on Breath

We talked a bit about breath in the Tantra Masturbation system. Here is the Fire Breath Orgasm Technique to try to bring your orgasms to the next level.

Fire Breath Orgasm Technique

Another form of breathing is the hard and fast breath or Breath of Fire, which activates the sympathetic nervous system, enhancing terrestrial consciousness: stimulating adrenaline and intensifying emotion. In essence, it is an energy-building breath where energy is used to increase the level of arousal, when you are building towards to orgasm.

This should only be performed for short periods (1-2 minutes max) so you don’t hyperventilate, and then go back to slow deep breathing again.  This rapid, continuous breath is done entirely through the nose.

The Fire Breath Orgasm exercise can be done to release the orgasm tension upwards and outwards so it escapes through the top of your head in a full body orgasm, or downwards and outwards to release through your genitals and flow back into the earth.  Bringing it down will ground you in terrestrial (earth-tide) energies and drawing it up will increase the celestial (star-tide) energies within you.

Exhale and rapidly press the navel towards the spine.  To inhale, simply release your navel outward. The breath fills your lungs automatically.  Inhale and exhale in quick succession up to two breaths per second.

As you breath you can imagine the energy moving up and down your spine with each breath, circulating the sexual energy.

Practice this with self-stimulation to experience a full-body orgasm.

  1. Read or Watch Erotica

Another easy one! Go to your favorite porn channel or find an erotic book on Amazon (may of these you can get for free in Kindle!), and get jiggy with it.

Again, allow the erotica to stimulate your mind before trying to stimulate yourself physically and see how long you can go without touching yourself. This will create new erotic pathways in the brain, giving you more options for sexual arousal.

Check out some free erotica on Amazon! Your welcome!

  1. Tease Yourself

Teasing yourself is pretty self-explanatory. Similar to sensate focus, take your time to tease yourself to orgasm, nice and slow. Again, instead of orgasm being the goal, allow yourself to indulge yourself in sensual pleasure.

You can even melt a piece of chocolate on your tongue while masturbating to add layers of stimulation. Try to arouse all your senses, or remove just your sense of sight with a blindfold.

Use feather-light touch all over your body until your hairs are standing on end. Breathe in sensual oils, listen to erotic sounds, music and slowly get yourself off.

  1. Audio Erotica

So, we’ve tried visual and mental stimulation via reading or watching erotica, now about trying some audio erotica?

There are several audio books out now that are pure erotica that you can immerse yourself into to get off.

Audio erotica is very different from reading or watching it. See how it may stimulate you differently. If the experience more or less sensual… erotic? Playing audio allows your hands to be free and like fantasy you can close your eyes and fantasize while you listen.

Here are some great sites to check out for audio erotica:

  1. Pussy Gazing

What is Pussy Gazing?

Pussy Gazing is basically the act of looking between your legs with a mirror at your own pussy. I know, sounds weird for those of you who have never bothered to look at your own pussy. And, frankly, why bother right?

I mean, its kind of weird, maybe kind of gross, and isn’t something you ever though of doing really.

Pussy gazing is empowering. It allows you to pay homage to the power of your yoni, your sexuality and brings attention to this amazing power center portal in your body.

“A yoni puja is a sacred tantric ritual during which the yoni is worshipped. We express adoration for the feminine principle, we express our complete love and appreciation of the feminine essence in all her forms.” –

Pussy gazing (also called Yoni Puja in Tantra), allows you to connect to your inner goddess and feminine essence (or Shakti, which is also the divine feminine creatrix energy), to promote self-love and self-healing from sexual trauma and shame, and to tap into your sexual super powers.

Through pussy gazing you can become more empowered, more orgasmic, sexually freer, more creative, feeling more beautiful and accept your own unique individual splendor, build more sexual confidence, become more sensual and boost your vitality!

To do this, simply strip below the waist, get into a comfortable position and using a mirror, gaze at your pussy for at least 20 minutes.

Many people like to make this a ritual, but creating space, creating an alter, burning sage or paleo santo, light candles, meditation and getting into the right headspace. You may also want to set a beautiful intention for this practice as well, to connect lovingly to yourself.

While you don’t masturbate while doing pussy gazing, it is still a form of self-love. And, there is nothing stopping you after you are finished to manually worship your yoni as well.

At first it may feel shocking if you’ve never looked at your yoni before. But continue to gaze at it, noting all the grooves, valley’s bumps, edges, the way the hair grows if you are unshaved, the clitoris, labia lips, perineum, etc… Some people use pussy gazing as an oracle to divine wisdom and blessings, and to manifest their desires.

After you are finished you may want to journal about this exercise about what may have come up for you. You may also feel creatively inspired to paint her or even take a pretty yoni selfie (for your eyes only of course!).

Watch This Video for More Instruction

Here is a lovely guided practice as well.

  1. Clitoral Sweet Spot

There is a little know spot on the clitoris called the “sweet” spot. It is on the upper left-hand site of the clit, (on some women it may be the upper-right).

To stimulate this spot you just lightly touch, rub, flick, or circle it with the pad of you finger. You can also use a small finger vibe (but hey that’s cheating!).

The point of this exercise is again, just to explore this spot with different types of touch to see how much pleasure it can bring you!

  1. Nipple Play

I mentioned before in the breast massage technique, that breasts and nipples are super orgasmic and some women can come from nipple and breast stimulation alone.

Why not give it a try? This is something you can definitely learn to do, by rewiring your brain’s response to stimuli.

Try massaging, pinching, nipple suckers (or oral stimulation vibes like the Womanizer), nipple clamps, squeezing, pulling, milking, flicking and slapping.

Try some of these alternative BDSM Nipple Stimulation Techniques:

Nipplegasms: BDSM Breast Play Techniques


See what you like best!

  1. Masturbate Somewhere Unusual

There is something to be said about changing up the scenery once in a while during sex or masturbation. It just keeps things interesting.

So, instead of masturbating in the bedroom, try the bathroom, kitchen (maybe with a cucumber?), sunroom, or even outside in your yard, in the woods, on the beach, or even a parked car.

Just be careful not to get caught, because yuck, sucks when that happens.

  1. Exhibitionism

You knew this was coming after the last idea.

You can try masturbation with exhibitionism. This could be real, or pretend.

How? Skype you lover and masturbate on camera for them. Do it in a window up high in an apartment or hotel room with people walking way down below on a busy city street. At a truck stop in a parked car (again don’t get caught!). Surprise your lover in person. Sitting at a duck pond watching the ducks with a short skirt and no undies.

Come on. I bet you can think of lots of ideas!

Why? Because it is very naughty and fun. The thrill of maybe getting caught it a big turn on.

  1. Self Spanking

If you are into getting spanked, you can fantasize about being spanked or punished by (insert whoever here), and spank yourself!

Use your hand, a crop, paddle and your imagination.

Try squeezing the cheeks, rubbing them and spanking in intervals. Very erotic!

  1. Rocking Your Hips

Rocking and moving your hips during self-pleasure enhances sexual stimulation, increases blood flow and lubrication, and moves sexual energy through the body.

Try it the next time you masturbate and see what happens. Remember to breathe with the rhythm of your hips, and pulse your PC and vaginal muscles with the movement.

Did this make you more aroused?

  1. Making Sounds

Sounding off during self-pleasure is yet another Tantric trick you can use to create more and move sexual energy.

The yoni is directly connected to the larynx and vocal cords. If you look at them side by side, you’ll notice the visual similarities in the structures.

Energetically, these structures are also said to be similar, and that if one is shut down, so it the other and the person becomes disconnected. When we feel unable to speak our truth, often our yoni can become blocked as well.

Interesting to note, the vagus nerve also connects the cervix and throat physically, which is our largest and primary sensory nerve. Also, the Latin word for “cervix” is “neck” and the throat is called the “cervical spine”. Even wilder yet, when a baby is in-utero, the vocal cords and ovaries are one organ that later splits into two as the embryo develops. It is believed that the power of your voice is directly connected to the power of our sexual energy.

Vocalizing during sex, and self-pleasure stimulates the vagus nerve, which sends a big sign of relief throughout the nervous system. It helps you open to your authentic voice and clear sexual trauma. Using sound during sex amplifies pleasure, increases pleasure and openness in the genitals, helps us release sexual tension and also helps circulate sexual energy in the body.

“When women emit deep, low sounds from their abdomens and with their mouths wide open this can sometimes lead to longer lasting, powerful orgasms and even female ejaculation. This all makes sense if you consider that the vagus nerve connects all of these functions, throat, chest, cervix and uterus, and that when they are utilized to the fullest extent of the nerve, and all of its endings, the nerve becomes so activated that it produces out of body pleasure that is more than the sum of its parts, so to speak.”

So, try making moans, sounds and utterances while masturbating. Usually, lower, deeper sounds work best, but play with it and see what happens!

  1. Mindgasms

I first learned about Mindgasms also called Breath-Energy Orgasms from Dr. Annie Sprinkle (porn star turned sex educator).

“Energy orgasms can be an extremely spiritual experience, giving you a sense of the forces of creation rushing through you, a sense of going beyond the body/mind, reminding you who you are beyond your everyday reality…”—Annie Sprinkle, How to Have Energy Orgasms

At first, I was very skeptical about the ability to achieve orgasm with no genital stimulation what-so-ever. In, face, for true, hands-free orgasms, you don’t touch your body at all.

Seems fantastic and impossible, but let me tell you I know people who can personally do this, and after training myself, I learned how to do it too!

An energy orgasm can be very powerful or quite subtle, depending on the amount of energy you build up.  The more energy that is built up, the stronger the sensations you will receive and you can experience whole-body, expanded, continuous mind-bogging orgasms if you practice.

Annie Sprinkle describes the experience of an energy orgasm as “electricity shooting through your entire body” leaving you “high, euphoric, and light-headed.”  For some, energy orgasms can be an extremely spiritual and healing experience that may clear blockages caused by repressed emotions or lingering emotional wounds caused by abuse.  Energy orgasms will help woman become more orgasmic and multi-orgasmic.

How to Do it

Begin by lying down in a comfortable position with knees bent.  Breathe deeply and easily, allowing tension fade away.  Empty your mind.

Once you have established a deep, rhythmic breath, continue to deepen your breathing by inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth.  Allow your breathing to become continuous, using the circular breathing method described above, in which you do not pause between inhales and exhales.

As you inhale, rock you pelvis by arching the lower back.  As you exhale, thrust the pelvis and hips up towards the ceiling while flattening the tummy.  Squeeze your PC muscle on exhale, release on inhale to stimulate the clitoris and G-spot, while pumping sexual energy throughout the entire body.  Repeat continuously, allowing yourself to feel erotic as your legs open and close loosely and naturally.

“Energy follows thought,” so as you breathe deeply imagine that you are drawing energy from “the earth/atmosphere” into your sexual center represented by the base Chakra: the genitals.  Imagine the energy building a strong glow in the sex organs which turns into a warm fire.

Next, begin drawing that fire into the 2rd Chakra which is the navel.  Think of your spine as a conduit for directing that energy through your body.  Feel the energy build in the navel until it begins to glow strongly as well.  Imagine the energy traveling from your genitals to your navel and back again in a complete, circular circuit.

Once you have stabilized the flow, draw the energy to your 3rd Chakra the solar plexus and back down to your groin, building that energy into a glowing fire. Continue this up the body/spine to the following 4th and 5th Chakra, allowing sexual sounds and moans to release from your throat.

Keep circulating the energy move up to the Third Eye (6th Chakra) until it reaches your 7th and final Chakra, the cranium or top of the head.

Draw the energy up through the genitals, through spine, up into the crown and back in a continuous cycle, expanding outward from your root center in a sphere, encompassing your entire being, until you feel that energy shooting out of the top of your head like a fountain of water.

You may feel a floating sensation or feel your body engulfed by waves.  Allow yourself to be rocked by these feelings until they dissipate.  Do whatever comes natural: scream, moan, melt, laugh hysterically, float and ride the waves of orgasm.  Do not be concerned if you do not experience these feelings at first as it may take more practise until you are able to accomplish a full-body orgasm.

  1. Sex Magic

Finally, my favorite type of self-pleasure, is sex magic, which is manifesting your desires using your potent sexual energy.

Sex Magic can be done anytime you want to amplify your manifesting mojo. However, new and full moons are a great time to use sex magic for manifesting as well.

First, start with an intention. What is it you want to manifest? I usually start with just one thing at a time, as it makes it easier to focus on.

So, start with your intention: “I desire to manifest XYZ”.

Next, follow the techniques above for Mindgasms. Build your sexual energy as long as you can using the edging techniques. Once you get to the point of no-return, focus on your manifesting desire and as the sexual energy shoots out of your crown chakra, visualize sending this manifesting energy into the universe to be born.

There are lots of other techniques you can use including creating signals, but that is the basic sex magic manifesting technique.


Wow! 31 days of self-pleasure!

Now, I invite you to go and take on this challenge. Bookmark this page to refer back to each day. And, at the end, let me know if you managed to complete the challenge.

Let me know in the comments below:

Did you complete the challenge?

What was easy for you? What was hard?

What did you learn new about yourself? Your body? Your yoni? You sexuality and sexual expression?

What did you find out that was unexpected or new?

What was your favorite method and what challenged you the most.

Journal your thoughts in your own journal as well to dive in deeper to these questions!


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Domina Doll is a Passion, Pleasure, and Empowerment Expert, a Sex Witch, Magic Manifesting Alchemist. Her passion is teaching women how to harness their sexual superpowers so they can manifest their desires using sexual energy and sex magic. Her work has been published both online and in print including Cosmo,, Bustle, YourTango, Slutty Girl Problems, Thought Catalog, and Women's Health. She is the author of: "Jillin' Off: A Girl's Guide to Solo Sex" and Lovehoney's Official Passion, Pleasure & Empowerment Expert, a sex educator who writes how to articles to help people have better pleasure-filled sex lives. Domina has trained in several holistic modalities including Sacred Tantra Sexuality, Ancient Taoist Sexual Empowerment, Metaphysics, Magic, Kundalini, Moon Magic, Jungian & Goddess Archetypes, Sex Magic and Manifesting, and is a Certified Sex Coach.


  1. The entire list is great and yes there are many websites available over the internet that offers erotic audio and best audio porn that can help in masturbation and good sex with your partner.

  2. When I first met my roomie in university, she was like look, we both masturbate, right? And this is a tiny room with zero privacy. She suggested that we both spend an evening in the room naked and also masturbate next to each other. We did it and it was definitely the best decision ever! We felt totally comfortable with literally everything after that and kept a healthy and open masturbation lifestyle over the years. It’s nice not having to masturbate secretly or pretend like I don’t do it.


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