The Five Things That Make The Modern-Day Gentlemen’s Cabaret: As Seen In Ricks Cabaret New York

By

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November 17, 2023

welcome! copy — Photo fromhttps://www.ricksnewyork.com/

Littered across the landscape, any of us could find a good old strip club probably within a twenty-minute ride of our homes. But a high-end gentlemen’s cabaret is a little harder to find and indeed caters to fans of a more refined kind of entertainment. One of the clubs on the high end of this scale, refined to the point where it is listed on the NASDAQ, is Rick’s Cabaret New York.

Photo from https://www.ricksnewyork.com/gallery/

With a few tidbits from some of Rick’s girls and an overview of this high-end scene, we quickly learn five things that make the modern-day gentlemen’s cabaret the unique place that it is.

“Any way you want to experience your experience is fine with us,” Rick dancer Vanessa says with a giggle. “From the men who sit sipping one of our nightly drink specials, just watching, to one of my regulars paying for multiple lap dances, we don’t care how you want to enjoy Rick’s. But we will make sure you enjoy your time with us.”

Indeed, there are lots to partake of in a club like Rick’s; one could enjoy a cigar while sitting on the open-air roof deck, grab something to eat from the club’s steakhouse late-night menu…and watch the girls dance. So, #1 one on the list of what makes the modern-day gentlemen’s cabaret is…there is lots of ways a guest can enjoy their time in the club.

“At any given night, you will find over one hundred girls entertaining here,” Miranda offers. “But with so much space, the club is comfy but never crowded, ya know?”

Point #2: A well-attended cabaret is a comfortably appointed cabaret.

“We are one block from ‘The Garden,’ right in the heart of New York City,” Natalia enthuses.

Not every gentleman’s cabaret can boast such an iconic location, as Rick’s is indeed one block from Madison Square Garden.

Point #3. Location.

Open late night, every night, until 4 am, which Rick’s is, makes a club of this kind so attractive to guests coming in, as much from work, as wanting to unwind for a full night of revelry and care-free entertainment.

Lastly—and again, not something every gentlemen’s cabaret will come to—is Reputation. Rick’s has undoubtedly earned its top spot in the litany of clubs of the kind. While there are certainly a bunch of high-end strip clubs wearing the monitor of gentlemen’s cabaret, not all have years of a sterling reputation under their belt.

Enjoy your search for whatever entertainment most interests you. Just know there is a wide variety of types of clubs out there where women take off their clothes, and one of them, representing the high end of the scale, is Rick’s Cabaret New York.

Jelqing to Extend Sex & Play for Penis Owners

By

Debra Shade

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October 3, 2022

pexels-victor-448834 — Photo by Victor from Pexels

Your Sexual Performance

You’re in the best sex session of your life and you begin to lose your stamina and energy. You find yourself breathing heavily to catch your breath and its not pleasure panting. Suddenly, the event is over and your partner is laying there wondering what happened. Finding yourself sitting on the side lines is not surprising if you have low stamina.

You may be experiencing premature ejaculation or some form of erectile dysfunction.

Regardless of the size of the penis, you will be able to provide both vaginal and anal pleasure if you have stamina. Penis health is important when it comes to playing. The healthier your penis, the better your orgasm and the longer you can last and give greater pleasure to your playmates.

So, let’s talk about how to get more stamina!

What is Jelqing?

There are penis exercises that can make you a better lover. You may not know personally but there are many types of penis problems that can lead to softer erections. Erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation are two examples. Studies have shown that there are penis exercises that you can do to create a harder erection. Penis exercises (also called “jelqing”) and help to increase sexual stamina. It can improve orgasms, testosterone, sperm production and the possibility of elongation and girth to your penis. Jelqing is the exercise of stretching the penis which helps make the penis thicker.

There are devices that are effective in making the penis bigger, but you can do this for yourself in the privacy of your home by Jelqing.

Jelqing : Safety First

Be careful as Jelqing can be harmful if you don’t do it right. Just don’t be too aggressive and bruise your penis while you’re doing these exercises. Some say the whole point of Jelqing is to make the penis larger. However, no evidence exist that reflects how successful this practice is at adding length or girth to the penis.

It increases the length of the penis when its flaccid and erect and it makes the erections last longer. Again, it’s safe if you are not squeezing too hard, too often or too aggressively. Worst cases, this kind of damage can permanently affect the ability to get or stay hard. Look for bruising or skin irritation from rubbing. Pay attention to pain or soreness along the shaft and adjust your massage. Use some lube, something to make it nice and slippery so that you create less friction.

The point of Jelqing is to massage gently and move blood throughout your tissues. So, be smart with it. Stop doing it if it is painful or uncomfortable in any way. Try leaning against a wall or table or sit down. It is not recommended to do the exercise more than once a day and you should talk to your doctor if you plan to do them for longer periods of time.

How to do Jelqing

How exactly do you do it? Here’s how you can build up your stamina and hardness.

To begin with, masturbate until you are 2/3 of the way hard, but not a full erection. This is because if you are fully erect, blood is already flowing through the penile tissue filling the tissues with blood.

1. Start by standing with your legs comfortably apart and gently pull the extra skin at the base of the penis when flaccid to stretch the penile ligaments and tissue. This is particularly effective after a warm shower or bath.

2. Put your index finger and thumb in an O shape, like the “okay” hand signal.

3. Place the O-shaped gesture at the base of your penis.

4. Make the O smaller until you put mild pressure on your penis shaft.

5. Slowly move your finger and thumb toward the head of your penis until you reach the tip. Reduce the pressure if this feels painful.

6. Loosen your grip at the tip. It should take you about 3 to 5 seconds from base to tip.

7. Repeat this once per day for about 20 minutes.

To see results, you need to do this exercise, however the results depend on how consistent you jelq and what your technique is. The continuation of this practice is different for everyone. Remember, use lots of lubricant like a coconut oil or boy butter. Three times a week is sufficient, if you experience soreness or bruising, stop doing it immediately as you can fracture the penis.

When your penis is in good health, you don’t have to exert so much energy. The next time you will notice more stamina and that your penis may seem longer and harder. These are perks so get to Jelqing.

Sex Down South 2022 Blew My Mind

By

Debra Shade

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September 25, 2022

Photo from www.sexdownsouth.com

Have you ever heard about the Sex Down South Conference? It just took place in Atlanta, GA at the Sheraton downtown from September 6 -9^th. IT WAS PHENOMENAL! Foremost it is a space for POC who seemed to be as queer as me and completely open to what the weekend was sure to hold. I was so excited to be surrounded by so many people that looked like me and were in the field or interested in sex education. The workshops were so good and so fulfilling. The workshop that I delivered was called Give Your Orgasm a Voice. I spoke about the A, C, P, G, V, Deep, Cul de Sac and of course clitoral orgasms. We talked about how you can build multiple orgasms by understanding where in the vagina these areas are. My passion area. Orgasms. I absolutely loved the conversation we had. While the audience was mostly vagina owners, there were a few penis owners, and I was so glad to see them. I am always pleased to have penis owners who play with vaginas, in my vaginal orgasm courses. I feel like I am sneaky them knowledge that will make them better lovers.

The workshops where layered so I missed a few that I wanted to attend based on the title, I really wanted to attend but I got really interested in the one I was sitting in. The other workshops were stella I hear. Unbelievable movement in Perele Noire, a black burlesque icon’s workshop. She has performed this workshop all over the Country. Yes, I was moving on my recently replaced knee with so much freedom in my sexuality and the way my body communicated it, that I felt lifted. We danced with permission from our ancestors, and we became present with our seductive selves. Our energy filled the room as we had to moan and grunt out our feelings. Then there was Queen Jaae who delivered on being black and kinky. I really connected with this one because I am developing a workshop on the POC culture of Kink vs. Disapproval, discipline and negativity.

People were walking around naked; vendors were selling the most interesting products of sexual pleasure and education. There where actually three vendors who had created an adult game for date night or party. Games that made it impossible for your mate not to share their truth. I remember looking for adult games that included real black culture issues within relationships and coming up blank. I am proud to have met three game makers. I can’t forget to share the end of the evening. A party called the Little Bang and on Saturday the Big Bang was packed with erotic, sexual entertainment. I witness a full body oil massage where the masseuse used her entire body to slide, drag, hump, and gyrate as she was applying pressure in his muscles. Flipping herself from his head to toe and back again. Totally arousing and stimulating. I have got to be on one end of this type of massage as soon as possible.

I know, I have been word vomiting about this conference, but I truly had the best time, and this is my third year going and my first time presenting. Bookmark ‘sexdownsouth.com’ and follow the journey to next year. Buy your ticket early and be prepared to be challenged and uplifted in the same breath. If you are a sex educator, this is a great conference to be associated with. Watch for their posting calling for proposals and/or vendors. The variety in vendors was also amazing. There weren’t six tables all selling dildos. There where businesses and organizations that represented women studies, black male mental health, HIV erasure, a bookstore brought in sex education, erotica and other books and magazines. Really, there was so much going on. It wasn’t until the last day that I was there that I found in a hallway an aftercare space where you could go in and join a snuggle puddle, lay quietly, or get a back massage.

They even converted two of the conference rooms into a dungeon with the most interesting furniture. A huge cage, X cross, spanking benches, shadow box and a few swings. I liked that everything was portable. I am in the market for portable furniture for my venue. I am telling you; this conference touched my whole life! I got so much from it. Sex Down South proved to be a must attend conference.

Date Night Delight: It Really Is a Thing! Make It Sexy

By

Valeriam Vincent

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June 27, 2022

rene-ranisch-lSMf7GJoDz4-unsplash (1) — Photo by Rene Ranisch

What is date night? Has date night been around forever, and we just decided to give it a title or has date night morphed into a real thing? Dating isn’t something we do just at the beginning of relationships, it’s something we do throughout the lifespan of our relationships. Date night can’t just be a pizza run, there must be excitement, anticipation, and something a little naughty. There is a technique or an artform to putting together a sexy date night that can benefit both partners. Date night is a real thing!

Date night is usually a planned activity where a couple creates time to spend exclusively with one another. When a couple first meets, dating serves as a way for two people to get to know one another and decide if they want to continue spending time together. Established couples, single and committed, or married, use date nights to set aside time to enjoy each other’s company (sans children), without the daily interruptions from work and other activities. The anticipation can be high.

Preparing for date night is important. Regardless of which person is planning it, creating a mood is essential, especially if one is attempting to create a sexy evening that leads to sensual adventure later. The theme of the night is important. Whether the outing will include a gourmet meal, a fun sporting event, an exciting live concert, or a night of friendly competition at the miniature golf course, thorough planning is of the utmost importance. Once the first activity of the night is planned and confirmed, the follow through, how we’re going to end the evening, must be considered. Will we need a specific toy or lubricants? One site that comes to mind to secure these needs is https://www.sextoysupply.com.

It’s great to continue to date your partner or spouse. Dating, and behaving in a manner that keeps a spark in the relationship promotes intimacy and longevity. Committing to having planned date nights also shows a level of commitment to doing what’s necessary to maintain the health of the relationship. You’re also building lasting memories with one another and a loving bond.

As busy as our lives can be nowadays, sometimes we even need to schedule “sexy time”. Date nights are idea for planned sex. Every other concern has been cared for. The kids are away, all distractions have been removed and you and your partner can indulge in whatever brings you pleasure. A sexy piece of lingerie, a ball gag or a feathery at “Wholesale sex toys” flog can inspire a new move or remove inhibitions enough to try that new position you read about.

One definite benefit from planned date nights is the great communication dynamic that can develop and continue. When we’re in long term relationships, we can get in a rut from the weight of daily responsibilities and obligations. Conversations tend to be limited to only discussing what is necessary. The date night can be an outlet to be able to rekindle the bond that was built over time. Having great conversations with your partner can revive feelings of warmth, trust, and love. Finding a game that encourages intimacy, “adult sex toys” and open communication can encourage those feelings and help you two keep things fun and fresh.

So, yes! Date night is a real thing! It’s a real activity that can help you enhance your relationship in a number of ways that will result in positive outcomes, fun activities, and lasting memories for you and your partner!

Kymbra’s Closet

“105 Fun Date Night Ideas to Inspire Romance”, by Daniel Hall for the Knot, Update May 5, 2022

“Five Reasons Why Date Night Is Important – 25 Suggestions” by Daniel Dashnaw, 5/13/19

Penis Worshipping and the BDSM Community

By

Debra Shade

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November 1, 2023

scott-sanker-sJAI70yXlRQ-unsplash — Photo by Scott Sanker on Unsplash

The BDSM community is a close knit in most communities all over the world. When you find your happy dungeon, you have found a home in which you can enjoy your fetishes in a safe space. BDSM play is ever changing and looks different for all players. I could not create an exhaustive list of all the versions of play that can be developed. It is heavily dependent on the wants of the players.

Many individuals outside of the community believe that BDSM is some sort of abuse because they see the relationship between dom and sub as something the sub has no control over. This is so far from the truth and the reality of the practice.

How does someone enter the world of BDSM? This is different for everyone. A little exploration and you can find your local dungeons and/or swingers clubs. I am so excited that I can offer a place to play in Columbus, OH where all humans are free to come and play. Newbies can inquire about the space and visit on Thursdays so that they can explore their pleasure points.

I opened Shades Oasis with the intent to offer the BDSM community a location in an area highly underserved. The Midwest is known for its sexual activity and diversity in what people find pleasure in. I have been hosting kink parties all over the East Coast and opening my own space is a real dream come true.

Masters in my area have helped me in creating a dungeon space where submissive and dominates can receive the pleasure they seek.

So, if you are ever in the area, come check out Shades Oasis. As a Clinical Sexologist I guide individuals through multiple orgasms and deliver a workshop during my events. One of the things that many people ask me to talk to them about is what to do with the rest of the penis born body. Meaning, after a hand job or a blow job then what?

I always suggest penis worshipping. Phallicism is what genital worshipping is. It is mainly performed in cuckold-type scenarios and can be done with no contact at all. An understanding of the penis structure will help in understanding pleasure points that you can stimulate to add additional pleasure and excitement.

A penis is twice as long as you think. Half the length of the penis is inside of the body. A healthy penis has five to six erections per day. Most of them nocturnal. While it is not clear why it happens, it is a sign that the penis is healthy. Individuals who understand their penis health can speak up about their penis pleasure.

Letting the worshipper know what is going to work for them. The opening at the tip of the penis is the opening of the urethra tube. This tube is where sperm and urine pass through. Usually, the owner may feel a full bladder when they are about to ejaculate.

As the giver, knowing that the urethra opening can be stimulated for pleasure, means you can add a move when you get to the mouth portion of the ceremony.

As the giver, be sure you stay mindful that the penis has no bone. It is very possible to break the penis through vigorous sex but is less likely to happen if you are performing a blow job. Worshipping requires more of a verbal or fellatio activity.

Saying things like, “Your penis/dick is so powerful”, or “It looks so powerful”. Keeping eye contact, whisper things that lets them know you appreciate the privilege of worshipping the penis. The same with fellatio. Allow yourself to enjoy the penis. Moaning lets them know you are loving it.

However, you express your passion, let it wash over you so that you can have pleasure as well. What you need to do is focus on the penis unless the discussion was had about touching other areas of the genitals. For example, the raphe is the dividing line that runs across the middle of their genitalia from the anus to the tip of the penis, down over the perineum, scrotum, and shaft.

You can add intensity to the orgasm by using your tongue to trace over the line and teasing them into your mouth. The perineum is REALLY sensitive and worth exploring. Press your knuckles gently into this spot and massage. Worship the penis with and without touch. The thrill is in the power and intimacy shared in the moment.

Approaching Dating During Quarantine

By

Debra Shade

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October 11, 2021

pexels-andrea-piacquadio-3967470 — Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Dating changed drastically during the quarantine. We went from thinking only the creepers where online to setting up several dating accounts. We are forced to be lonely or try our hand at love online. We had to let guards and pieces of us go in order to relax and be entertained by the prospects available via any of a zillion social sites. How do you get someone to pursue you and explore relationship options?

1. Confidence is key. See yourself as the prize and realize that the person who is chasing you sees your intellect, strength, and your beauty. While its important to note that the chaser needs to have some sort of response from you to be encouraged to pursue if you wish. So, give validation, emotional support, and compliments to let the person know you are open to dating.

People are turned on by confident people. You must let them know you are interested without spilling your guts. Don’t agree with everything they say, but don’t be mean either. Be your true self and know that lots of folks are turned on by someone who is naturally themselves. Realize you can build a healthy solid relationship with everyone being their authentic selves.

2. Attraction is a process. Attraction is the chemistry that motivates us to be with another person. Usually, it is a visual attraction and then physical when you meet the person. But here we are, with Covid we are not getting the physical attraction part. Keep challenging your chaser by keeping them interested in the future they may see with you. Remember that just because they start doing things that hint, they are interested, doesn’t mean that its time for you to stop attracting the person. Keep the hunt up.

3. Be Sexy. Confidence, strength, and personality of our own traits make up what kind of relationship you would be looking for. Try looking “sexy”, whatever that looks like for you. The right outfit can flatter and display our attractive features just as highlighting features and physiques play roles in our search for a partner. The summation of confidence is that you should not be predictable or boring. Be in control without being controlling. Many will find that you are more attractive when you are easy to get along with and are confident in yourself. Just know, your personality, strength, confidence, and traits become those things that you must put on display to open yourself to meeting people to date.

4. Personality. In dating considerations include psychological attractiveness such as pleasant and cheerful personalities. A great personality will bring out the best in others. Be careful not to over focus on personality alone, however. This often results in a deep friendship without a sexual spark. Thus, changing the trajectory of the relationship. You basically need to find your own style of attraction. We are all different and the great news is, none of us are perfect so we are all developing our dating wants as we go. Do what is natural to you, then work on other traits and skills that help you establish the kinds of relationships you really want.

5. Be Engaged but Aloof. Find that balance of being engaged and aloof, be engaged in conversation and let them know you. You should want them as well. Understand the difference between wanting someone and needing someone. Don’t try to trap a person into a relationship. Be cautious about when you profess your love for the person. The other thing to note when talking about confidence and sexiness in getting someone to chase you, is letting them ask you about other people. This will let you know their level of interest and allows you to prioritize the relationship and its growth. Just as you will play games, they will too, it will be their way of making sure you are worth the chase.

6. Time. Another change to the dating game is the amount of time you have now to chat with this person and to do it virtually! Some ideas that I can share are virtually taking them with you for tea, watch a television show together or share your hobby with them.

7. Get Over Your Fears. Virtual dating requires you to overcome any fears you have about being on camera, utilize uploaded images or stock images for your background.

Online dating has become the new normal. So go for it!

Discover a New Frontier in Sexual Wellness and Education

By

Debra Shade

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January 17, 2025

Bio Headshot3 — Photo of Debra Shade, certified Clinical Sexologist

Discover a New Frontier in Sexual Wellness and Education with Debra Shade.

Debra Shade has pioneered an unparalleled sanctuary for mental health and modern sex education, offering a rare and transformative approach to understanding pleasure, intimacy, and healthy sexuality. She has officially been given the honor of being the first Pleasure Education and Healing Center in the state of Ohio.

Shades Oasis is a space to overcome sexual barriers resulting in pleasure on purpose. At this innovative center, individuals and groups can explore barriers to pleasure while learning about 12 vulva and 3 penile releases developed through an intricate understanding of 52 erogenous zones.

With classes, workshops, retreats, and movement sessions, the programs are designed to empower participants to cultivate and sustain consensual, substance-free, shame-free sexual experiences. Debra Shade’s holistic approach bridges the gap between physical wellness and emotional intimacy, fostering environments where education and exploration lead to a more liberated, fulfilling relationship with oneself and others.

This unique space stands as a beacon for anyone seeking to embrace sexual health and redefine the art of connection. Its hours are appointment only except 7p to midnight on Thu-Sat. You can book a private session(s) at debrashade.youcanbook. Check out more about Debra and Shades Oasis at www.shadesoasis.com.

Tantric Gspot Pleasure & Female Ejaculation

By

Dr. Ava Cadell

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August 7, 2021

The Goddess Spot

“The illusive G-spot is definitely not a myth but a treasure, which when explored can result in a deeper, longer orgasm.”–Dr. Ava Cadell

The G-spot has many fun phrases associated with it; great-spot, glory-spot, go-ahead spot-but I like to call it the Goddess spot. It is located inside the woman’s vagina about a third of the way, in between the vaginal/Yoni opening and the cervix. The G-spot has a ridged texture to it and responds to gentle stroking. In many women, once properly stimulated, it can provide a very powerful orgasm. It also may produce an ejaculation (an expulsion of milky looking fluid) which they refer to as Amrita or ‘divine nectar’ in Tantric terms.

The individual differences and responses to G-spot stimulation are so varied that women should not feel pressured into finding their G-spot. However, if you decide to embark on this quest, consider it a treasure hunt. You may or may not find the treasure you expected, but the hunt can be a great source of adventure and personal knowledge. Many women have reported that they have difficulty locating and stimulating the G-spot by themselves, but they have no difficulty identifying the erotic sensation when a partner stimulates the spot.

Exploring the G-Spot

Gynecologist Ernest Grafenberg, who published research results about sexual pleasure being derived from the urethra, first identified the G-spot area. Dr. Beverly Whipple did further research on G-spot orgasms. The results are available in her book The G-spot and Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality by Dell Publishers. She indicates the G-spot area swells when stimulated and may lead to orgasm. Some women claim that the G-spot can be a longer, deeper, more powerful orgasm than a Pearl/clitoral orgasm.

For most women, stimulation of the 8000 nerve fibers of the Pearl/clitoris, especially by a talented tongue, results in orgasm. Then there are those who swear the G-spot orgasm is the ultimate orgasm.

The illusive G-spot is definitely not a myth but a treasure, which when explored can result in a deeper, longer orgasm. Some women are even capable of ejaculating from it.

Stimulating your Lover’s G-Spot

1. Have your lover empty her bladder before you start in order to lessen the possible feeling of needing to urinate.

2. Both of you should get into comfortable position; preferably with the woman on her
back with her pelvis raised by a pillow.

3. Put your thumb on her pubic mound or Pearl/clitoris and insert the middle or forefinger
of your hand, palm up, in a “come hither” motion inside the vagina.

4. Push gently in the outer third of the Yoni’s top region, between the opening and the cervix. When you touch a small, ridged patch area, the woman may feel sensitive as if she needs to urinate.

5. If her bladder is empty, the sensitive feeling will pass and be replaced with intense, pleasurable feelings.

6. For more pressure, use any combination of the other fingers.

7. Use long, linear strokes creating an energetic circuit between your thumb and your finger.

8. Picture a clock-face on the inside of her Yoni, and stroke with your finger from 6 o’clock to 12 o’clock.

9. Alternatively, imagine your fingers are a “windshield wiper,” and stimulate the G-spot moving your fingers from side to side.

10. Now, put your thumb above the pubic bone (with your fingers inside the Yoni) to stimulate the G-spot from inside and outside simultaneously.

11. Tap the G-spot area with your finger/s towards her navel in pulsating motions.

12. Ask her to make a mental note which movements pleasure her most.

The G-spot can also be reached using a specially designed vibrator or by making love in certain sacred sexual positions.

G-Spot Sacred Sexual Union

Don’t make love in the same position, in the same place, at the same time. Be daring; spontaneous!

Your partner will love you for it!

1. In the Missionary position, the woman can rest her feet on her lover’s shoulders. This allows for maximum stimulation of the back wall of the Yoni and thus potential stimulation of the G-spot.

2. The alternative to the ‘Woman On Top’ position is for the woman to face away from her partner. This way, the whole of the Yoni is stimulated, and the woman herself can decide where she wants to receive maximum stimulation.

3. The rear entry alternative is for the man to lay his whole body along the woman’s. In this position, the entire Yoni is stimulated, but attention is concentrated on the upper part of the front wall, which means there is relatively good stimulation of the G-spot.

4. An alternative to the standing position is for you and your partner to face one another with the woman lying back. In this position, the front wall of the Yoni is stimulated, and good contact with the G-spot is made.

The Venus Butterfly

The Venus Butterfly is an ancient lovemaking technique first practiced in India 3000 years ago. It allows the male to bring his lover to a high peak of ecstasy by simultaneously stimulating two centers of pleasure at the same time.

Directions on How to Perform the Venus Butterfly

1. Pull back your lover’s clitoral hood.

2. Stimulate the Pearl/clitoris with short and long strokes using your tongue, fingers or vibrator until the woman reaches a level 8 on a pleasure scale of 0 to 10 with 10 being the point of no return; orgasm.

3. Move away from the Pearl/clitoris and stimulate the entire outside of the Yoni in circular motions with your tongue, finger or vibrator, allowing her arousal level to lower by a couple of points.

4. Return to Pearl stimulation as above using short and long strokes until the woman reaches a 9 on the pleasure scale.

5. Slip your finger/s, palm up, inside the Yoni and tap on the G-spot towards the navel.

6. Continue to stroke the Pearl/clitoris while tapping the G-spot with your finger/s or use a G-spot vibrator.

7. Combining clitoral and G-spot stimulation may result in multiple orgasms.

8. Practice the Venus Butterfly technique and exchange feedback.

Dr. Ava’s TriGasm

How do You Achieve a Trigasm? I have been teaching the combination of simultaneous G-spot and Pearl/clitoral stimulation for several years. Couples loved it. Women got some serious attention–learning how to climax internally and externally at the same time, and men felt like they were heroes. So, here’s the revolution, the ultimate technique in orgasmic potential for women: The TriGasm.

A TriGasm is the result of arousing the 3 points of pleasure, the Pearl/clitoris, G-spot and Rosebud/anus simultaneously. Many people are experienced with various forms of dual stimulation–a Lingam and a toy, a tongue and a finger, and other combinations.

Here are some tips for you as you go off on your Trigasm exploration. Begin setting the mood and prepare to stimulate all five senses. Be creative using sensual sound, visual arousal, and feeling your lovers heat. You should also have some lubricant nearby, especially for G-spot and anal play. The final tip tell your lover to take up juggling, because it’s going to take some coordination to master this technique, but it’s well worth the effort and mighty fun while learning!

Here is the ideal way to create 3 points of stimulation with a lover.

1. The woman should lie back while her lover lavishes her Pearl with oral pleasure until she
has reached a level 8 on a pleasure scale of 1 to 10. (10 equals orgasm.)

2. Change course and stimulate her vulva in small circles with the tongue or fingers for 2 minutes.

3. Return to the Pearl and orally increase her level of pleasure to a 9; almost to the point of no return.

4. At this peak, he should insert his forefinger palm up into her Yoni and find her G-spot, then tap, tap, tap it gently towards her navel.

5. Simultaneously with step four, he must stimulate her Rosebud/anus gently with a
feather, his pinky or a vibrator to bring his lover to a mind-blowing, earth shattering, energy-melting multiple orgasm.

Her Tantric Pleasure: Female Ejaculation

Female ejaculation has been documented in ancient Asia for many thousands of years. Here in the Western world scientists are finally accepting it as a reality and women of all ages are enjoying the experience of ejaculating during orgasm. I believe that every woman can ejaculate if she is stimulated correctly and if she knows how to control her PC muscles.

It’s estimated that less than 10% of women ejaculate, or at least admit to it. In Tantra, female ejaculation is called, Amrita, which means Nectar of the Gods. Some women who experience ejaculation admit that the feeling is like an intense orgasmic release; much stronger and longer than a clitoral orgasm. Female ejaculation can be attained with stimulation of the G-spot, the spongy area located inside the Yoni about two inches on the upper wall towards the navel.

Always empty your bladder first so that the ejaculation doesn’t have any urine in it. The ejaculate fluid is protein based (much like semen) but it’s thinner and of course it doesn’t have any sperm. In summary, female ejaculation is a normal natural occurrence, so why not try it? You might like it!

Female Oral Delights

A woman is more sensitive so begin with less pressure than you would like, as a man.

1. Kiss and lick the inside of her thighs to create sexual anticipation.

2. Explore the entire vulva (outside of the Yoni) with circular tongue motions.

3. Suck on her labia (Yoni lips) gently.

4. Lavish her Yoni with your tongue in long lapping motions from her Yoni opening to her Pearl/clitoris.

5. Use a pointy tongue all around the Pearl/clitoris but not directly on it.

6. Write numbers on her entire vulva area with your tongue, then the alphabet.

7. Slip one or two fingers inside her Yoni as you gently lick her Pearl.

8. Use a stiff tongue to lick her Pearl from side to side.

9. Make humming sounds with your lips so they vibrate as you kiss the Pearl/clitoris.

10. Stroke her perenium (between the Rosebud/anus and Yoni opening) while sucking gently on her Pearl/clitoris.

11. Never rub or insert anything sugary in a woman’s Yoni because it can cause infection.

12. Draw her closer by lifting her buttocks and kissing her Yoni just as you would her mouth.

13. Alternate pressure with your tongue as you lick long and short strokes from the Rosebud to the Pearl.

14. Insert a fingertip into her Rosebud/anus as you lick her Pearl.

15. Gently pull her labia majora apart (outside lips) and lick the labia minora (inside lips) with the tip of your tongue.

16. Nuzzle your face in her mound and brush your lips and nose over her Pearl.

17. Insert your tongue into her Yoni opening with quick pointy motions.

18. Flick your tongue over Pearl alternating from up and down and side to side.

19. When she is on the verge of orgasm, make your lips into an O and take her Pearl in your mouth sucking gently.

20. Insert one or two fingers and discover her G-spot while licking her Pearl.

21. Lick her entire vulva like an ice cream cone with lapping motions.

22. Use your tongue like a snake sliding and twisting it inside her slowly, then fast.

23. Suck on some ice before licking her Yoni for a cool sensation.

24. Drink some hot liquid and then suck and twirl your hot tongue over her.

25. Don’t change the rhythm of your motion when she is climaxing.

26. Don’t stop immediately after she has climaxed. Keep going until she stops you, then cup your hands over her Yoni with fingers facing the navel.

27. Ask her how and where she wants you to lick, kiss and suck her. Tell her to direct you.

28. Orally delight her Yoni while she is lying on her stomach.

29. Orally delight her Yoni while she is in the tigress position from the rear.

30. Tell her that you love honoring her Yoni orally because she tastes and smells delicious.

Remember that practice… practice… practice makes perfect!

+++

Excerpt from Dr. Ava’s Tantra Workbook

Top 10 Easy Sexy Halloween Costumes

By

Janet Lovelace

-

October 20, 2020

We’re more than halfway through October, and you little hot thing might have completely forgotten about Halloween! Dressing up might sound like something only trick-or-treaters might do, but attending a party in a very adult costume could prove for some equally very adult fun! (Wink!)

For anyone who’s scrambling for a last-minute look or just taking the easy sexy way, these ten hot Halloween looks from our friends at Yandy.com are a must-add-to-cart! Maybe this time, buy more than one so you’ve got a go-to for next year, too.

Fine Like Wine

Fancy being subordinate to a monarch? This sequin romper is gorgeously detailed with gold trimming, and adorned all over with deep purple sequins and mesh. To top it all off, Yandy’s Fine Like Wine comes with a sophisticated crown of the best grapes that money can buy. Shoes aren’t included, however, so make sure you pair it with a lovely metallic stiletto for a finishing touch. This costume might not be taking anything from pop culture, but it sure will be an iconic look even centuries after that Halloween party.

Cara Mia Mistress

Nothing says sexy more than leather. Channel your inner Morticia Addams and go on the prowl for the mon cheri to your cara mia on Halloween night. The costume turns you into a macabre Victorian lady of the house, featuring a high-slitted dress that accentuates your curves and elongates your figure. Yandy also updates it with a little bit of kink, adding some leather crisscrosses here and there to make it a little more delicious and dangerous. (The one right on the cleavage of the deep neckline is exceptionally so!) Complete the look with some styling details, from the hair, the makeup, the red nails, some quaint rings, and oh, throw in a red rose as a prop, too!

Little Red

Black not your thing? Go looking for the big bad wolf in this classic red costume. Fairytales can definitely be sexy, especially with a sweetheart neckline and a short ruffled skirt that makes you look good enough to eat. The embroidered detailing on the black bodice really steals the show, making it a step up from your typical off-the-rack Halloween costumes, but Yandy makes it a big deal to keep it well within sexy lingerie with the design and materials. The costume comes with the red satin cape, but the shoes and stockings aren’t included. Match it with cute thigh-highs and some school shoes, and a picnic basket full of condoms… You know, for fornicating frolicking through the forest.

French Maid

Here’s a four-piece lace-trimmed costume that’s sure to get anyone in the mood. The French maid has gone down as one of the most recognizable sex symbols, and you can live out your international sex kitten dreams for a night thanks to Yandy. It features the maid outfit adorned with lace trimming, with matching accessories like the choker, black leg garter, and the feather duster. The headpiece, however, isn’t included, but you can easily swap in a headband with some lace detailing to match.

Bad Habit Nun

The Bad Habit Nun is equal parts forbidden fruit, slutty, and badass. If you’ve been binging on the Warrior Nun, you might get inspired to go as a hot nun for Halloween. With cross details in black and gold all over, you’ll definitely get them to confess all their secrets to you. The high-neckline features a keyhole to show off two of your best assets, and the tulip skirt paired with the pure white stockings highlight your heaven-sent thighs. The fingerless gloves are also a great addition, making it a little more on the chic side thanks to Yandy.

Beetle Bombshell

For the film geeks, you know what to do: say her name three times, and the bombshell trickster will appear! This costume from Yandy is just as fun as it is sexy, with a chic blazer in black and white stripes accented with luminescent moss and beetle details. The black-tie and purple collar also help draw attention to the neckline! To make sure it doesn’t go full-fledged Halloween costume, try to tone down on the makeup. You can even style your hair a little differently, maybe with a modern twist since platinum white is always in fashion.

Wicked Vampire

Another classic costume that Yandy put a lingerie spin on is the Wicked Vampire costume. It mixes lace with luxurious velvet, showing all the skin that your vampire fellow can bite into. The deep neckline also features your neck and cleavage with criss-cross straps. The matching waist cincher isn’t all aesthetic, it’ll also help you curve out your body for that immortally stunning look. Oh, and don’t forget to complete the look with a vampy red lipstick and prosthetic fangs!

Sailor’s Delight

If you’re more into looking cute while being sexy, cop this adorable Sailor’s Delight from Yandy. It’s a no-frills, no-fuss outfit: a red, white, and blue mini-dress with some anchors and stars printed on. The red bow on the neckline is the cherry on top!

All Jazzed Up

Take it back to the Roaring 20’s with an extremely sexy flapper girl costume. Yandy’s All Jazzed Up costume comes with a navy blue stretch sequin romper with a fringe skirt to put some oomph into your dance moves. The plunging neckline is trimmed with faux gold diamond, ending in a criss-cross straps below the bust line. It also comes with a sequin feather fascinator to go on top of your finger wave bob! Other accessories aren’t included though, so you’ll have to be getting that pearl necklace in another way…

Boarding School Flirt

You don’t have to be a bad student to be a naughty one, but if you’ve gotten a school-girl crush on a hot young teacher before then this costume is perfect! The Boarding School Flirt is a three-piece outfit, including a dress that mimics a plaid-pleated skirt school uniform, plaid necktie, and matching plaid hair bows. Pair this classic costume from Yandy with thigh-high white socks and black high-heels to elevate it to sexy student. They also have quite a number of variations of this, so you can check out what fits your body best!

Whatever you end up choosing from Yandy’s awesome collection of easy and sexy Halloween costumes, make sure you’ve got the moves to back all that sexiness up in bed! Check out our sex advice and sex education articles to make sure you have as much fun dressing up as you do getting naked. 😉

Shopping for Items for Some Enjoyable Play During the Holidays

By

Dr Sparkle

-

October 28, 2023

paige-cody-nHxG9tP2ElE-unsplash — Photo by Paige Cody on Unsplash

This season is a great time to stock up on your play items. Whether you have a box, drawer, closet, or if you are really lucky and have a room for play, the holiday time of Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Christmas, and New Year’s really makes the perfect time to pick up all kinds of props to take your imagination to the next level as you act out your desires.

What you should be on the lookout for are candles, incense, paper products, such as plates, cups, and napkins, even balloons. If you are a baker and like different decorated baked goods, now is also the time to pick up some unique icing colors and other items for decoration.

What is great about this time is all the colored items and the number of costumes that are available. See, you might want to do some role playing like doctor and nurse, professor and student, pirate and wench, or superheroes, just to name a few.

I have done this myself. For example, I like to match things. I would buy takeout and serve it on the color of paper product that would match my lingerie. Easy clean up, but not wonderful for the environment. It might sound a little silly, but it was fun and never dull. The possibilities are endless. For the items I found that I liked a lot, I would try to find reusable versions.

Sometimes you can find music that you may be very fond of during this time of year. If you are not into holiday music, make note of what you would like to listen to during your playtime. It might be an artist that you like and they are coming out with something new. Make sure to make a note of when it will be available to download.

If you are into Comic-Con, you probably wear elaborate costumes that are sometimes quite expensive. This is where this time of year comes into play. The costumes that are at your local discount stores may not be made of the best material, but that is okay because you can play in them and not feel too badly if they get some extra fluids on them. It is all about the fun.

You can find cool looking wigs and glitter make up, which can be very difficult to find during the rest of the year, without paying extra in price. You should also be able to find uniquely colored hosiery during this season, also for a reasonable price. If you are into the Day of The Dead, this is the perfect time to stock up on essentials for your roll playing. A lot of times stores will also bring in special home décor items. You will be able to pick up blankets and pillows in fabulous colors.

By stocking up on what you like now, you will be able to plan a weekend of play around sight, sound, smell, taste, feel, colors, theme, or all these factors. The colors and inventory that are available now can help you have a rainbow of choices throughout the year. In October you can find orange and black items. During November, you can add gold, yellow and brown. December adds opportunities for items of red, green, silver, and blue. Just a reminder, you will be able to pick up item in pink and purple during March and April. Make the holidays work for you.

Here are a couple of roles you can act out:

Salsa Night: Colors are black and red.

Pick up your favorite Mexican food. Put on some salsa music, cover the bed with soft blankets and pillows. Meet your lover wearing a beautiful red teddy or black bra and panties under a sexy little dress and heels. Or, you can meet your lover wearing black pants and shirt with the shirt unbutton halfway down your chest. Enjoy the meal. Let the music take over your body. Before long, your clothes will be coming off.

Make your way to the shower, touching each other, lathering each other up, finding the suds to be exciting. Share passionate kisses as you move over to the bed, where the softness of the blankets and pillows will wrap you both up. See why shopping for these items now is a good idea. The black items you can pick up from Halloween and the red items you can usually find in Christmas holiday décor.

Go Team

You could pick a costume of a football player and cheerleader. Pick your favorite team’s colors. Now, it might be difficult to find the right colors, let alone the right team. So, if you have team jerseys, you can wear them. For the male look, wear the jersey with a pair of jeans and for the female look, you can wear the jersey alone. If it is a little big, you can tie it at the waist with a twist and a hair tie. You could also pair it with a short skirt, matched to the color of the team.

Have takeout. It really could be as easy as of hotdogs and pretzels with your favorite beverages.

Play some crowd cheering sounds in the background. Set up your living room or family room for play. One or either, or both, can perform a strip tease act for the other. Take turns. Then you can make love on the couch as if you are in the bleachers.

The possibilities are endless. It just takes your imagination and you can to have a fun playtime with your partner. One thing that should be mentioned is that you can spoil yourself and have fun with you. You can have party for one. Whatever your heart desires. The idea is to have fun. Make a special moment.

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