HomeFeatured - The Best Sex Education Articles for Adults
Featured - The Best Sex Education Articles for Adults
Sexpert.com has the Best Sex Education Articles for Adults from an expert line up of certified sex experts.
Top sex education for adults featured posts and sexuality articles from our sex experts, sex coaches on everything from female orgasms, sexual pleasure, alternative lifestyle topics, couples sex advice and dating advice, masturbation and sexual empowerment, sexual health and wellness including men’s sexual problems like premature ejaculation and how to last longer in the bedroom.
Our Sex Ed featured articles include all the tips and techniques you need to know to make you a better lover such as the ultimate guide to anal sex, BDSM and kinky sex, oral sex, how to have the best orgasms, sexual relationship topics on how to spice up your love life, as well as female sexual anatomy and the erogenous zones including the clitoris, the cervix and cervical orgasm, all about the g spot, female ejaculation and g spot orgasms, the vagina and the vulva, penis facts and more.
Sexpert.com is an all-inclusive sex education site for adults and has many empowering articles on gender and sexuality, as well as articles for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender, sissies, and alternative lifestyles including cuckold and hotwife relationships, threesomes, polyamory and swinging. See our sacred sexuality topics including Tantra sex, yoni yoga, sexy goddess rituals, energy orgasms and more.
Explore sexpert articles from our top sex educators.
If there ever was a XXX answer to the comedy team of French and Saunders–the brilliant duo behind the unforgettable hit show Absolutely Fabulous–it was Sophie Anderson and Rebecca More; otherwise known as the Cock Destroyers.
Beyond being hardcore porn actresses and content creators, these hilarious, talented ladies were known for their memes, their filmed comedic skits, and even their musical performances–indeed, who could forget that timeless toe tapper, Driving for Dick?
These ferocious femmes always managed to add a distinctly feminist note to all of their adult industry projects–whether their films centered around cuckolding, Clothed Female Naked Male, or even gang bangs, they always conveyed the concept that they were performing to please and satisfy themselves–not just their audience, or their male co-stars. They championed sex and body positivity for women. Also emerging as LGBTQ icons, they promoted the idea of sexual liberation for all, promoting HIV/AIDS research, and appearing often at pride events.
This proved a particular win for Anderson, who by all accounts arose from a troubled history of heinous abuse to grab the bull by the horn (most literally, I guess) and own her sexuality–proudly identifying as a pansexual woman. She and More even produced and appeared in a Netflix sex education video aimed toward the LGBTQ community. And aside from her work with the Cock Destroyers, she served as a team captain on a sex education quiz show. She apparently also co-hosted a reality show that came complete with the noble mission of finding the next Cock Destroyer. The Feminist Sexpert sure wishes that she had known about this program, as she is passing certain that she could have competed and won.
Speaking of the Feminist Sexpert–I once reached out to the Cock Destroyers on social media, just after the premiere of their MEN.Com film, A Tale of Two Cock Destroyers. In this beautifully produced production, the Destroyers portrayed a pair of Victorian-era madams who led and guided a brothel staffed by beautiful young men. These ladies remained fully clothed in their non-sex roles, and in stunning period dresses that would have been quite at home in a Jane Austen period piece–that is, if Jane had been a naughty, saucy chit!
The Feminist Sexpert was most excited and intrigued to view this production, until she read the fine print just beneath the title. A Tale of Two Cock Destroyers, it turned out, was a gay porno–the brothel that served as the film’s setting catered exclusively to men.
Now I know I’m about to do a major Seinfeld here and echo the sentiment, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that! Not at all!” But I really do mean it–I was not at all repulsed or offended at the concept of a male brothel for men. I would have loved it, however, if my beloved Cock Destroyers had produced a film about an all-male ‘brodello’ that serviced the WOMEN of Victorian England; loosening those stays and ripping those bodices at breakneck speed!
When I wrote to the Destroyers with this idea, even offering to script the film myself, I never received a reply–but to an extent, my idea manifested itself in the form of my newly released novel, Mischief and Mistletoe: Scandal at Holly House.
So once again, two Cock Destroyers inspired a third.
Sophie and Rebecca, both enchanting British lasses, signed off on their videos by saying, “Thas it!”
So that’s it–but there should have been much more.
Sophie Anderson passed away Dec. 4. Sophie, I sincerely hope that your paradise is filled with beautiful men and lots of fun. Rest in power.
Arthritis, Back and Chronic Pain all have a significant impact on daily activities and the general enjoyment of life. The National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal and Skin Diseases reports that eight out of ten Americans will suffer from back pain at some point in their lives. So if you or your partner has arthritis, back pain or any kind of chronic pain, then it’s not surprising that your sex life is limited.
A new review by The National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine (NCCAM) researchers in Nature Reviews Neuroscience looks at recent research on pain and the brain. It suggests that chronic pain affects the anatomy of the brain and impairs certain nerve pathways, leading to a “negative feedback loop” that results in more pain and accompanying emotional and reasoning problems. What’s exciting about this discovery is that feedback loops can be mitigated by mindful meditation. Many people affected by
chronic pain are learning how the mind can control the body, and are adopting practices such as meditation and yoga to reduce stress and control pain.
Dr. Rick Hanson, a neuropsychologist and author of Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom says, “One of the enduring changes in the brain of those who routinely meditate is that the brain becomes thicker. In other words, those who routinely meditate build synapses, synaptic networks, and layers of capillaries (the tiny blood vessels that bring metabolic supplies such as glucose or oxygen to busy regions), which an MRI shows is measurably thicker in two major regions of the brain. One is in the pre-frontal cortex, located right behind the forehead. It’s involved in the executive control of attention – of deliberately paying attention to something. This change makes sense because that’s what you’re doing when you meditate or engage in a contemplative activity. The second brain area that gets bigger is a very important part called the insula.
The insula tracks both the interior state of the body and the feelings of other people, which is fundamental to empathy. So, people who routinely tune into their own bodies – through some kind of mindfulness practice – make their insula thicker, which helps them become more self-aware and empathic.” This is a good illustration of “neuroplasticity,” which is the idea that “as the mind changes, the brain changes,” or as Canadian psychologist Donald Hebb puts it, “neurons that fire together wire together.”
In her book, A Slice of the Beloved, Gurutej Kaur shares her forty years of yoga teachings, with exercises for singles and couples that can heal the mind and the body.
NEURO-CISE: HAND DUSTING, SOLO
Quickly and powerfully move your hands, in front of your heart center, as if dusting them off. This will help bring calm and quiet. It is also great way to release a distressing thought or experience.
NEURO-CISE: CONNECTION MEDITATION, DUO
Sit across from each other on your heels or in a comfortable pose. Lean forward, placing your foreheads together. Place your hands on each other’s shoulders or around the waist. This posture connects third eye to third-eye, stimulating the pituitary gland and intuition spot.
Talk It Through
Equally important to exercise is good communication with your partner. He or she cannot help you or create a better lovemaking experience if you don’t share the experience of your pain. Sharing a warm bath and experimenting with pillows can be a way to relax and begin the process towards intimacy.
“Talk about it,” says Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasing a Woman.
“Back pain can be tricky because people often look fine, even if they feel terrible. That’s all the more reason to keep your partner in the loop. Don’t try to please your partner at the expense of hurting yourself. Your partner will feel the distraction in your body language,
and conclude that something is wrong. If you’re not forthcoming that the ‘something’ is back pain, their imagination could run wild.”
Try Different Positions
Joint pain can make sexual contact uncomfortable, but don’t give up trying new positions or timing of sexual activity. There may be certain positions that would work better than others, to bring you both satisfaction without one person having to “grin and bear it.”
It can feel awkward at first to talk to your partner about how you’re going to make love, but you may find that the experience deepens your connection with each other. The steps taken to find comfortable sexual positions such as Spooning or Scissors can bring you back to the same page, erotically speaking.
If your pain is much too severe to try having sex, talk to a medical professional and take solace in the fact that the severity is likely temporary, and focus on other acts that can maintain your intimacy without rigorous performance.
Kissing is Erotic
Get comfortable and hold hands, then start kissing and enjoy locking lips for as long as you can.
Sheril Kirshenbaum, author of The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us, writes, “The part of our bodies sending the most information to our brains during a kiss is, without a doubt, the lips. Packed with nerve endings, they are extremely sensitive to pressure, warmth, cold, and indeed to every kind of stimulus. One of the most remarkable things about the brain’s role in kissing is the disproportionate neural space associated with our lips compared with the rest of our bodies. Just a light brush on them stimulates a very large part of the brain – an area even more expansive than would be activated by sexual stimulation below the belt.
A kiss sends sensations directly to the limbic system that part of our brain associated with love, passion, and lust. As neural impulses bounce between the brain and the tongue, the facial muscles, the lips, and the skin, they stimulate our bodies to produce a number of neurotransmitters and hormones.”
Breath is the essence of life and there is no better way to energize the body than to increase your intake of oxygen. Breathing in through the mouth produces an energy charge and breathing out of the mouth releases emotions. That’s why when a person cries, they have to breathe through their mouth.
Nostril breathing holds in the energy charge and it enhances sexual control. In the following interactive breath exercises, you will learn how to control your breath and how to synchronize it with your lover so that you can make lovemaking last longer. You will find that you can connect on a deeper level of consciousness and experience harmonious bonding through breath. Breathing together is an essential element to experiencing
Tantric bliss.
When you are sexually excited, your breathing increases naturally. Consequently, you have less control over your orgasm. Many people want lovemaking to last longer. Several methods have been devised to assist you in prolonging the pleasures and intimacy of sex. The following exercises will help move your sexual energy throughout your body; not just localize it in the genitals.
Tantric Breath
Breath Exercises with Your Lover
*While these exercises are written in He/She pronouns and Man/Woman genders, any couple can do these techniques together regardless of sexual orientation and gender to include GLBTQ+ couples and non-binary individuals. Regardless of gender, we all have both masculine and feminine energies (Yin/Yang) that are more prominent at different times.
Synchronized Breath: Face each other. Hold hands, breathe in and out through the mouth at the same time for 2 minutes.
Alternate Breathing: Face each other. Hold hands and breathe in through your nose and exhale through the mouth in slow motion for 2 minutes.
Kissing Breath: Hold each other, eyes closed, and share the same breath through deep kissing for 2 minutes.
Erogenous Breath: Blow your cool breath with lips pursed around and onto your lover’s nipples for 2 minutes.
Hot Breath: Choose one of your lover’s Chakras and blow your hot breath through your open mouth for 2 minutes as you caress your lover.
Hum Breath: Face each other and hum every time you breath out for 2 minutes.
Toe Breath: Exhale your cool breath in between your lover’s toes. All of them.
Auditory Breath: Suck on your lover’s ear lobes and breathe gently in his/her ears.
Spine Breath: Ask your lover to lie down on his/her stomach and blow your cool breath up your lover’s spine all the way to his/her neck and back down over the buttocks. Nudity required.
Neck Breath: Blow cool and hot breath (mouth pursed and open) on and around your lover’s neck; front and back.
Yin Yang Breath: Alternate Breathing. Face your lover in Yab Yum position. Decide who will be Yin (receiver) and who will be Yang (giver) to start. Yin should breathe in through the nose, as Yang exhales through the mouth for 2 minutes. Then switch roles for 2 more minutes. Maintain eye contact as you do this.
Hot and Cold Breath: Choose one of your lover’s Chakras and blow your cool breath from your mouth through pursed lips on to it, then your warm breath (through an open mouth) with your lips apart. Alternate your hot and cool breath on your lover for 2 minutes.
Control Breath: Face each other, kneeling or sitting with legs over each other, whichever is most comfortable for you both. Now simultaneously take a deep breath filling up and expanding your bellies. Hold that breath for 5 seconds, then exhale from the throat releasing a gentle sighing sound. Do this for 2 minutes and maintain eye-contact with each other.
Synchronized Breathing: Face your lover; kneeling or sitting with legs over each other, which ever is most comfortable for you both. Breathe in at the same time, then breathe out together in slow motion for 2 minutes. Maintain eye-contact as you do this.
Nostril Breathing: Face your lover. The woman should breathe through her right nostril (for one minute) while blocking the left nostril. The man should breathe through his left nostril while blocking the right one for 1 minute, then alternate for the 2nd minute.
Charging Breath: Get into Yab Yum position. Inhale and exhale through your nose using the pumping action of your abdominal muscles to force the exhalation. The emphasis should be on the exhalation. Breathe in through the nostrils and release your breath through your nostrils and pump your abdominal muscles at the same time. Do this for 2 minutes.
Hearing Breath: Get into Yab Yum position, and breathe gently, sighing behind your lover’s earlobes for 2 minutes in unison. Be careful not to use excess sound around the ears because they can be highly sensitive.
Cannon Breath: Sit back to back with Chakras aligned and say, “As we do this breath, I honor you.” Then inhale one long deep breath (through the nose and exhale through the mouth) as if it were shooting out of cannon for 2 minutes. If either of you become lightheaded during this exercise, communicate to your lover that you need to stop. This is a good alternative to arguing.
Lingam Yoni Breath: For this intimate breath, the woman needs to get into a traditional ‘Woman On Top’ sexual Maithuna/intercourse position. She is the Yang (masculine) force so she is the initiator. Now both man and woman should start breathing in and out together. Fill up your bellies as you inhale and collapse your bellies as you exhale. This can be done during intercourse or without penetration. The choice is yours.
Heart Beat: Put your arms around your lover and rest one of your ears on his/her heart Chakra. Listen to the soothing sound of the heart beat and the sound of your lover’s breath for 2 minutes. Tell your lover what you heard and how it made you feel.
Neck Massage: Massage your lover’s neck with your hands and follow each stroke with your breath. Do this for 2 minutes.
Yoni Lingam Breath: Get into the traditional sixty-nine position. The woman should blow her cool breath around the Lingam, Jewels, perineum (testicles and the landing strip between from testicles to anus) while the man blows his warm breath around her Yoni, (not inside the Yoni) around the Rosebud/anus and up and down the perineum. Do this for 2 minutes minimum.
Abdominal Breathing
Abdominal breathing exercises can help relax the pelvic region and prolong the level of sexual excitement in masturbation and lovemaking. The purpose of this exercise is to develop awareness of your body while practicing relaxed breathing. By experiencing specific body movements coordinated with deep breathing you will learn how to continue deep breathing while engaged in sexual activity.
1. Commence abdominal breathing by lying on the floor or a bed with arms at your side and legs uncrossed.
2. Close your eyes and begin breathing slowly. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth.
3. Place one hand gently on your lower abdomen and focus on the movement of your stomach as you breathe. The goal is to develop comfortable and relaxed breathing in the pelvic region.
4. Continue abdominal breathing and as you inhale, turn your right foot out to the side. As you exhale, turn your right foot back up so the toes point up toward the ceiling. Do this six times and then switch to the left foot.
5. Repeat the above exercise sequence again, first with the right foot then with the left. Watch and help each other to do the abdominal breathing.
Pelvic Breathing
The purpose of pelvic breathing is to help coordinate pelvic movement with breathing during lovemaking. Remember, the power of breath controls both the male and female orgasms.
1. Lie on your back, on the floor or bed, with your arms at your sides and your legs uncrossed.
2. Breathe slowly, using abdominal breathing for a few minutes to establish your rhythm.
3. As you inhale, press your buttocks toward the floor and fill your abdomen with air.
4. As you exhale, imagine that your pubic bone is being drawn towards the ceiling by a magnet.
5. Your pelvis will slowly tilt up as you exhale.
6. Repeat this at least ten times. It is important to have the pelvis tilt backward on the inhalation and tilt forward on the exhalation.
7. Do the same exercise kneeling with your hands flat on the floor in front of you. Watch and help each other to do the pelvic breathing.
Make A Commitment
Make a commitment to take long deep breaths while you are doing every day activities, such as driving, watching TV, reading reports, taking a bath and so on. When you are stressed out, inhale 4 breaths then exhale 4 breaths (‘Stress Breath’). When you are upset, inhale one long deep breath and then exhale it with force as if it were shooting out of a canon (‘Canon Breath’). When you are angry, inhale 4 breaths and then stick your
tongue out as you exhale with force (‘Dragon Breath’). It will make you laugh and you’ll forget what you were angry about. When you make love, slow down your normal breathing pattern because the faster the breath flows, the faster the orgasm.
In recent years, home pleasure parties have gained popularity as a fun and intimate way to explore and discuss sexuality, relationships, and self-care. These gatherings are more than just an opportunity to shop for adult products; they provide a comfortable and educational environment for open conversations about sexual wellness.We will look into the world of home pleasure parties, exploring why they are worth hosting and attending.
One of the primary reasons people choose to host and attend home pleasure parties is the safe and comfortable environment they provide.When it comes to discussing and exploring one’s sexuality, privacy and trust are paramount.
Home pleasure parties are typically hosted in a private residence among friends or acquaintances, creating a non-judgmental atmosphere where participants can openly discuss their desires, ask questions, and learn about products in a relaxed setting.This safe space can be particularly valuable for those who may feel uncomfortable in traditional adult stores or discussing sexual topics in public.
Home pleasure parties offer more than just the opportunity to purchase adult products; they are also educational events.Knowledge is power, and understanding one’s own body and the products available can be empowering.
Trained consultants often lead these parties, providing information about sexual health, anatomy, and various products. This education empowers individuals and couples to make informed choices about what works best for them and can enhance their sexual experiences.
Strengthening Relationships:
Exploring one’s sexuality and preferences can be a great way to strengthen relationships. Home pleasure parties provide a unique platform for couples to discuss their desires, fantasies, and boundaries in a supportive setting.
This open dialogue can lead to a deeper understanding between partners, improved communication, and the discovery of new ways to connect intimately. Couples often find that home pleasure parties not only reignite the spark in their relationships but also lead to increased trust and intimacy.
Discovering New Products:
One of the central elements of home pleasure parties is the opportunity to browse and purchase a variety of adult products. These products range from intimate toys to lubricants, massage oils, lingerie, and more.
At a home pleasure party, participants can see, touch, and ask questions about the products, allowing them to make informed choices based on their preferences and desires. The experience of physically handling these items and learning about their features can be much more informative than simply reading online reviews.
Privacy and discretion are often essential when it comes to adult products. Home pleasure parties provide a discreet and confidential way to explore and purchase these items.Unlike walking into a store, where you might encounter acquaintances or feel self-conscious, home parties allow for a low-key shopping experience. This discretion is particularly valuable for individuals who prefer to keep their intimate matters private.
Building a Supportive Community:
Home pleasure parties have the added benefit of fostering a sense of community. Participants often find that they can connect with others who share similar interests and concerns.These gatherings create a space where people can share experiences, offer support, and learn from one another. The sense of belonging and understanding can be especially valuable for those who have felt isolated or uncomfortable discussing their sexual needs and desires.
Celebrating Self-Care:
Self-care is a vital aspect of overall well-being, and that includes sexual well-being.Home pleasure parties encourage participants to celebrate self-care by exploring their desires and making choices that enhance their sexual experiences.This focus on self-care aligns with a broader movement emphasizing the importance of self-love, self-acceptance, and self-discovery.
In conclusion, home pleasure parties offer a unique and valuable opportunity to explore sexuality, relationships, and self-care in a safe, comfortable, and educational setting.They provide a forum for open discussions, empower individuals and couples, and offer a discreet way to discover and purchase adult products.
For those who are looking to strengthen their relationships, connect with a supportive community, and celebrate self-care, home pleasure parties are an excellent choice.Whether you’re considering hosting one or attending as a guest, these gatherings can be both enjoyable and enlightening.
If you are like me, every year post Halloween (and my birthday which happens to fall on October 3oth… amazingly every year on the same date!) you feel the ramp up of the holidays, which I call the “holidaze,” heavy, heard and thrusting into your life until the New Year. There’s so much to do, even when you have whittled your gift buying list down to just an essential few and visiting ever fewer places. Really, COVID has nothing really at all to do with the fact that I simply do not want to be out and about in the hustle and bustle this time of year.
So, what does any of this mean to the erotic writer? Are we exempt from the holidaze sitting in our garrets churning out our fictions for barely enough money to afford a good-sized phallic candy cane?
I can tell you from first-hand experience that the clients I write for tend to slow down in their needs for articles, blogs, reviews and interviews this time of year. By mid-November (when I write this) I am pretty much full up for any work until the New Year. Also, quite frankly, I feel my energy for fiction writing slowing down, the twinkly lights and yummy cookie smells (and the Thanksgiving bird feast looming) distracting me from thinking up new naughties.
I fight this malaise every year. As much wanting to be prepared for what’s coming in the New Year, with AVN and the various XBIZ events happening in January, as wanting to shore up some future work, I need to stay on the ball. Certainly, I will give myself a week off between Christmas and New Year, or at least slow down a bit, but I’d like to have my proverbial ducks in a row for when the holidaze pass and we are into the drag of months like February and March and I have yet to fully pay off the credit card bills from what I spent during the holidaze.
Yes, even if you have whittled your gift buying list to just the essential few.
As the old saying warns, it’s best to have your groceries bought well before you are hungry. I’d advise, enjoy whatever holidaze you do, delve deep into those traditions, amass friends and family around you. But don’t forget the work, and this is true for whatever work you do, not only naughty scribbling.
If you have some writing projects you have put off, maybe the New Year is when you should tackle them. If you haven’t heard from or reached out to a client, old, current or potential, set the post-holiday time for doing so. A reassessment of your writing goals also might be in order. I’m not the biggest proponent of resolutions, save for making a resolution banning me from making any more resolutions. But a little planning now, best you can, for after the crazy times might serve you well.
“I’m so unhappy!” This is some thing I often say because I battle depression. I wake up in the morning with a low bottom line and I take it upon myself to lift myself from the basement to the lobby. A frustrating process to work so hard to get to a place where some people start. I had my blood tested and I have fine tuned my hormones, minerals and vitamins. I work out regularly and I meditate, but this isn’t enough to make me happy. Some people are perpetually unhappy and if that is you, it is likely your fault.
Happy people are not the ones that have the most. They are not the richest, they are not the most successful, quite the contrary in fact. The happiest people I’ve seen in my life are the people that have very little and find joy in the small magical moments in life. Ladybug landing on their finger, a good cup of coffee, or a stimulating conversation with a friend. These are the people that gravitate towards happiness. And sure, some people are just lucky and they have a positive disposition. They don’t have to put in the work. They are just happy. That is not you, you have to put in the work.
Happiness is attainable with a shift in your perspective. Are horrible things happening every day? Yes, life can be an absolute shit show. That does not mean that good things are not happening as well. Earlier this week a friend of mine had been complaining how difficult it was to find work in her field. Another group of friends came to sit at the table and I introduced them to my struggling friend. She was a bit drunk and lashing out at the world because her job interview didn’t go well that day. Ironically, she was a school teacher and one of my friends was actually a principal at a public middle school and had just received word that a teacher was leaving and the position needed to be filled. Of course, he wouldn’t take my friend into consideration because she was angrily cursing at a salt shaker. Her focus on the negative didn’t just create more negative (like a broken salt shaker and a hangover), it kept her from a positive outcome. The way we feel has a domino effect.
You might feel frustrated reading this. What can we do? Our brain does not come with a remote control. The thing to remember is you are an adult. You have to parent yourself. You can not eat an entire cake at 2 AM and you need to redirect your thoughts when you are beating yourself up for your recent failed relationship all night long. Could you have been better? Did you take them for granted? Were you falling short in bed? MAYBE! But no amount of obsessing about it is going to make that any better.
Positive things came from the relationship. Perhaps you learned something, had beautiful moments together, or it’s just great that it is over. As you shift your focus your mind will boomerang and you will go right back to where you started. It is up to you to toss that boomerang right back and do not get complacent. We know how boomerangs work.
The more times you shift your focus from the negative to the positive the more natural it will seem. Your brain likes routine. If you have been a pessimist your whole life you can not wake up tomorrow and decide to be something else. You are training your brain the way you would any other muscle. Gradually, overtime. It is a combination of knowing what you need to feel physically healthy and doing what is required to be emotionally healthy.
Do not get discouraged. People tend to force themselves to think positive for a day and when nothing magical happens they give up. Redirecting your brain to the positive puts you in a position where you are open to positive things happening to you. That opportunity doesn’t always exist. Your state of mind should be consistent for it to pay off. A positive thought is more powerful than a negative thought. If you’re trying to think positive and your brain hit you with the worst case scenario simply push the thought aside and think of a positive thought or two.
Gravitating towards negativity could contribute to keeping you in destructive patterns. If you believe you only attract bad people how surprising is it when all your dates are bad people? What self-fulfilling prophecy’s are you reciting? If I constantly think my partner is going to cheat on me I’m going to look for things that prove me right and likely end up accusing my partner of cheating over something I misinterpreted. A partner is more likely to cheat if they are already being treated as such. Sure, you might drop your guard and get cheated on anyway.
But, by acting like it is going to happen from the beginning you are skipping the honeymoon phase and going straight for the explosive break up. Intuition and anxiety often feel the same. Be mindful of the fact that an an anxious thought is not a vision for the future. Sometimes it is your intuition and other times it is just pesky anxiety coming to keep you on your familiar course of unhappiness. Your mind wants to keep you alive. It is up to you to make it a life with happiness. You have the steering wheel.
What if you can’t think of a positive thought? You need to look around you. A hummingbird drinking from a flower, your pet, your nephew, or a funny YouTube video. You’re able to breathe, your coffee was perfect today, or it’s finally Spring! When everything is doom and gloom you need to shine a light. It doesn’t eliminate the gloom but it allows you to see the rainbow. Life is good and bad. Life is magical and life is devastating. It’s up to you what you choose to focus on. Choose accordingly.
Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence, and get them to want you!!!! Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, Playmate Pickup is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!
Erika Jordan is an internationally acclaimed love and relationship expert, NLP practitioner, author, and media personality, and a leader in the field of digital romance and online dating.
Your orgasm is created. Before you set this aside because you know how to create an orgasm, give this article two minutes. Two minutes to find out why you are having unfilled sexual experiences with every lover. If you know just this little bit about getting yourself and them to that marvelous orgasm, you must know the phases of creation.
Physical and emotional changes occur as a person becomes sexually aroused and participates in sexually stimulating activities, including intercourse and masturbation. The sexual response cyclehas four phases:
desire (libido)
arousal (excitement)
orgasm (release)
resolution (come down)
Most bodies experience these phases, the timing usually is different, and while it is unlikely to happen without putting in the work, both partners may reach orgasm at the same time.
In addition, the intensity of pleasure along the response cycle and the time spent in each phase varies from person to person. Understanding these differences may help partners better understand one another’s bodies and reactions to enhance the sexual experience. Understanding the sexual response cycle can give you a framework for a better understanding of how you go from zero to orgasm every time.
If, for example, you know that you need to be aroused longer than your partner does to orgasm, you’ll want to begin building arousing earlier.
The Anticipation phase is the point of time when you want to be touched but haven’t started yet.
The Excitement phase is far more active than the anticipation phase. In the excitement phase, you are building arousal.
The higher the arousal level for an individual, the more intense the release is going to be. Go from a very still, tired, or smug resolution to a full body thrashing, screaming, growling, grunting super wet, and fully intense release.
Get tips on the six internal and six external vulva orgasms and the pleasure of anal and the sought-after dry ejaculation for penis owners in Climax: The Power of Great Sex. Written for you my orgasmic friend!! This heightened orgasm and all its pleasure is steeped in that perfect storm of hormones that I am always talking about. Serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine collaborate to induce physical signs you can watch for in your mate to continue the pleasure stimulation. There is a slew of activities you can implement for the stimulation of a person. The point is to drive them to the point of grunting and sweating by reading their body.
This is not something that is going to take place in a few seconds, if you have the time, build arousal until they are begging for more of whatever stimulation you have going on. Look and listen for an increased heart rate and flushed skin. Check to see if their breathing is faster and if their nipples are hardened. We all have nipples! The increased blood flow will swell the labia and cause the clitoris to become engorged. The penis erection is fully noticeable and may have pre-cum at the urethra opening.
The phase that happens next is necessary for sustained pleasure. The Plateau is putting your experience on ten! The physical signs you had during the excitement phase are so elevated the person begins to lose contact with being “proper”, “shy”, and “nervous” all the things on the orgasm plate that prevent a person from staying present in pleasure. The pleasurable distraction includes you being all in at that moment.
The orgasm itself is accompanied by a series of physical reactions on its own. The person is having involuntary muscle tension and contractions. Please encourage them to breathe and pull in long breaths of air and push it out while the tension relaxes. Ask them to breathe in less and out faster and finally, they should be breathing in and out so quickly it’s panting. This is what you want to be looking for.
Total relaxation and sexual movement are involuntary and should receive no shame. Is the person moaning, groaning, or making any signs of pleasure vocally? This is a great time to lean into the person, oxytocin is boiling inside, the sense of closeness will be elevated, and dopamine is fueling the fire of passion and creating an even higher heart rate, faster breathing, and feverish squirming.
Resolution is the comedown after the big release when your muscles relax, and your body is flooded with the perfect storm of dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. Rest in it. Allow your body to accept the flow of hormones and chemicals that are left from the arousal telling your body that all is well, and you can lay in the aftermath until your breathing returns to normal. So let me wrap this back around to you. Take note, this info is going to raise your game and your own orgasm. Yup, you can use it when masturbating as well.
Phase 1: Excitement
General characteristics of the excitement phase, which can last from a few minutes to several hours, include muscle tension. The heart rate quickens and breathing accelerates, the skin may become flushed (blotches of redness appear on the chest and back). Nipples become hardened or erect, and blood flow to the genitals increases, resulting in swelling of the vulva owner’s clitoris and labia minora (inner lips), and erection of the penis owner’s penis. Vaginal lubrication begins, the vulva owner’s breasts become fuller and the vaginal walls begin to swell and lubricate. The penis owner’s testicles swell, their scrotum tightens and begins secreting a lubricating liquid.
Phase 2: Plateau
General characteristics of the plateau phase, which extends to the brink of orgasm, include the changes begun in phase one are intensified. The vagina continues to swell from increased blood flow, and the vaginal walls turn a dark purple. The vulva owner’s clitoris becomes highly sensitive (may even be painful to touch) and retracts under the clitoral hood to avoid direct stimulation from the penis.
The penis owner’s testicles tighten. Breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure continue to increase. Muscle spasms may begin in the feet, face, and hands. Muscle tension increases, be completely open to pleasure.
Ah, the grand finale – the orgasm! This is the peak of the pleasure rollercoaster, and boy, is it different for everyone! From a lightning-fast flash to a decadent twenty-minute show, orgasms come in all shapes and sizes.
Get ready for some involuntary muscle magic – your body’s about to start doing its thing. Your blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing hit peak performance levels as if you’re competing in an Olympic sprint.
Ever noticed your feet doing a little dance? Yep, that’s part of the show too. Cue the fireworks! There’s a sudden, explosive release of all that built-up sexual tension. For vulva owners, it’s all about those rhythmic contractions in the vagina and uterus – talk about a workout!
Meanwhile, penis owners experience their own fireworks display, with rhythmic contractions leading to ejaculation. And hey, don’t be surprised if you notice a lovely “sex flush” – a rosy rash that may grace your entire body. It’s all part of the fun!
Phase 4: Resolution
During resolution, the body slowly returns to its normal level of functioning and the swollen and erect body parts return to their previous size and color. This phase is marked by a general sense of well-being, enhanced intimacy, and, often, a strong sense of fatigue.
Some vulva owners are capable of a rapid return to the orgasm phase with further sexual stimulation and may experience multiple orgasms. Penis owners need recovery time after orgasm, called a refractory period, during which they cannot reach orgasm again. Some can react from an energetic stimulation that will cause the feeling of an intense orgasm through the penis owner’s body but there will be no ejaculate. This takes practice but can be done.
The duration of the refractory period varies among penis owners and usually lengthens with advancing age. Another model has added the emotion you feel to even want to have sex. Desire. Desire refers to the emotional state of, well, desiring sex! This phase isn’t associated with any physical reaction, but it is with emotional ones!
Does everyone follow this response cycle? Nope! Everyone’s pleasure journey is unique, and sometimes it might take more effort to reach the finish line. But fear not – with a little work and determination, overcoming barriers and reaching orgasm is totally achievable!
If you’re aiming to reach the finish line but come up short, frustration might creep in. Ever heard of that feeling of pelvic congestion or heaviness? Yep, it’s like that! Penis owners sometimes call it “blue balls,” but guess what? It’s not exclusive to them – anyone can feel it, no matter their anatomy.
The good news? This uncomfortable sensation typically fades away once blood flow in the area goes back to its usual levels, usually within 30 to 60 minutes. So, hang in there – relief is on its way! In fact, some know this as orgasm control or orgasm denial, edging is a sexy way to intentionally explore delaying The Big Finish or keeping it from happening altogether. This kind of kinky play, however, isn’t something you decide to explore mid-action. Rather, it’s something you talk about and plan. So, if you’re in the middle of a partnered sex session and not having an orgasm, it’s probably not because your partner is edging you.
As a Clinical Sexologist, I want to assure you that experiencing difficulty in reaching climax is more common than you may think. Research suggests that anywhere from 5 to 40 percent of individuals encounter challenges in achieving orgasm. However, it’s important to note that this becomes a medical concern only when it causes significant distress or disruption in your life.
If you’re finding yourself struggling in this area, know that you’re not alone, and I’m here to offer support and guidance on your journey to pleasure. Whether the barriers are physical, psychological, or emotional, I’m dedicated to working alongside you to address and overcome them.
Sometimes, difficulty reaching orgasm can be linked to underlying factors such as hormone imbalances or the side effects of medications you may be taking. By identifying and addressing these root causes, we can work towards enhancing your sexual well-being and satisfaction.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to me – it would be my honor to assist you in navigating this aspect of your sexual health and empowering you to experience the pleasure and fulfillment you deserve.
Even if you think your fantasy is weird or might freak out your partner, chances are, that your fantasy is not all that unusual. It’s a safe bet that your partner has fantasies, too.
In October 2014, a group of scientists at the University of Montreal published a study that asked 1,517 adult men and women residing in Quebec about their sexual fantasies. (How cool would it be to have that job?)
Top Female Fantasies
The study found the Top 10 fantasies among women were:
1. The location is specified: 27.2% (No. 6 for men: 11.3%)
– Exotic or unusual private place (e.g., deserted beach, swimming pool, forest): 21.4%; public place (e.g., office, restrooms, bar, aircraft, etc.): 5.8%
2. Spouse or current lover is exclusively involved: 20.1% (No. 10 for men: 7.9%)
3. Focus on own submissive behavior: 18.8% (Not reported as a Top 28 fantasy for men)
4. Specifically involves a stranger: 14.3% (No. 24 for men: 1.9%)
5. The type of ambience is specified: 11.7% (Not reported as a Top 28 fantasy for men)
6. Exhibitionism: 8.9% (No. 23 for men: 1.9%)
7. Involves homosexual activities: 8.2% (No. 7 for men: 8.2%)
8. Group sex: 7.8% (No. 9 for men – with men and women or only women: 8.1%)
– Active role with men and women: 3.9%; passive role surrounded by men: 3.9%
9. Specifically refers to an authority figure or a celebrity: 7.1% (No. 14 for men: 4.2%)
10. Involves a sexual object: 6.5%
Top Male Fantasies
The Top 10 fantasies among men were:
1. Voyeurism: 15.0% (No. 11 for women: 3.9%)
– Watching a spouse having sex with another man: 8.4%; alone, spying an unaware stranger: 3.3%; watching spouse having sex with another woman: 3.3%
2. Fetishism: 14.0% (Not reported as a Top 19 fantasy for women)
3. Threesomes: 12.6% (No. 13 for women: 3.2%)
– With strangers or acquaintances: 7.0%; with a spouse: 5.6%
4. Oral sex (non-homosexual): 11.7% (Not reported as a Top 19 fantasy for women)
– Receiver (fellatio): 10.8%; giver (cunnilingus): 3.3%
5. Anal sex (non-homosexual): 11.7% (No. 19 for women (as a receiver): 1.3%)
– Receiver (with a strap-on or shemales): 6.1%; giver with a woman: 5.6%
6. Location-specific: 11.3% (No. 1 with women: 27.2%)
– Exotic or unusual private place (e.g., deserted beach, swimming pool, forest): 7.5%; public place (e.g., office, restaurant, bar, aircraft): 3.8%
7. Homosexual activities: 8.9% (No. 7 for women: 8.2%)
8. Involves an acquaintance: 8.5% (No. 18 for women: 1.3%)
9. Group sex (with men and women or only women): 8.1% (No. 8 for women: 7.8%)
– Active role: 7.5%; passive role: 0.6%
10. Spouse or current lover is exclusively involved: 7.9% (No. 2 for women: 20.1%)
What Fantasies are Typical?
In all, five sexual fantasies in the study were statistically typical and endorsed by more than 84.1% of participants — feeling romantic emotions during a sexual relationship, fantasies in which atmosphere and location are important, and fantasies involving a romantic location; receiving oral sex, and having sexual intercourse with two women. Among the remaining sexual fantasies, 23 were common in men and 11 were common in women.
What Fantasies are Rare?
On the opposite end of the spectrum, two sexual fantasies were found to be statistically rare (endorsed by 2.3% or less of participants) — having sex with a child under the age of 12 (0.8% of women and 1.8% of men) and having sex with an animal (3% of women and 2.2% of men). Among the 53 sexual fantasies studied in the survey, nine were statistically unusual (endorsed by 15.9% or less of participants) — seven for women (urinating on partner, 3.5%; being urinated on, 3.5%; wearing clothes of the opposite gender, 6.9%; forcing someone to have sex, 10.8%; abusing a person who is drunk, asleep, or unconscious, 10.8%; having sex with a prostitute, 12.5%; and having sex with a women who has very small breasts, 10.8%) and four for men (urinating on partner, 8.9%; being urinated on, 10.0%; having sex with two other men, 15.8%; having sex with more than three other men, 13.1%).
“Many fantasies that one might suspect would be unusual are, in fact, endorsed by a significant portion of individuals,” says Dr. Richard Krueger, MD, an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons in New York City who was not a researcher that was part of the study. “Yet this doesn’t mean that these are pathological at all. It just means that people have them. The only way that it becomes pathological is if it involves distress, dysfunction, or action on a non-consenting person.”
Does it Mean You Want it in Real Life?
While many women who took part in the survey expressed more extreme fantasies, especially of submission and domination by a stranger, they say that they never want these fantasies to come true. However, the majority of men that took part in the survey have more fantasies than women, express them much more vividly, and would love their fantasies to come true, especially threesomes.
But let’s say that you have a fantasy your partner doesn’t want to act out, let alone talk about, or if you don’t have currently have a partner. Perhaps you have a fantasy that will never play out in your life or is socially taboo.
“Having (fantasies) does not automatically translate into wanting to act them out,” says Michael Wiederman, a professor of psychology at Columbia College in South Carolina. “Perhaps it’s the assumption that fantasies say something about desired behavior that leads some people to feel guilty about their sexual fantasies. However, by definition, fantasies are safe (no one is actually hurt in real life) and they can end the way the fantasizer desires. Conversely, attempts to act out fantasies frequently result in less than desirable experiences. So, as long as your fantasies remain just that, you can give yourself permission to enjoy that aspect of your sexuality without guilt or concern about normality.”
Previously Published at: http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com/the-realities-of-fantasies/
I am reviewing the OSUGA Flow Triple Stimulation for Clitoris, Urethral and G-spot vibe and first, the packaging is beautiful. It’s a simple white box but detailed with the product etched on the front. I opened the box to find a unique shaped toy. It is unlike any toy I have seen on the market.
It is soft to the touch, flexible and pack a powerful punch. When I used it on the low setting and then hit the boost mode, let me tell you, it had me at my peak in a record time. I tried different speeds and each speed got stronger and strong, but the lowest speed worked perfect for me. Experiencing multiple orgasms before shut it off was a first for me. Can you say “AMAZING!” That is what I got from the first try.
Edging Play and the Flow:
This item was inspired by edging play, which is an orgasm control technique that may be practiced either alone or with a partner and involves the maintenance of a high level of sexual arousal for an extended period without reaching a climax.The Flow starts in gentle rest mode, using four motors-like waves to softly massage you and awaken your clitoris, urethral and G-spot. As arousal builds, you switch to boost mode for edging play. When you reach climax, briefly switch to rest mode, wait about 30 – 60 seconds, then re-engage boost mode—repeating until you’re ready to orgasm.
Photo taken from: https://osuga.com/
About the Flow:
The Flow is a multi-functional toy with four motors to stimulate the clitoris, urethral opening, and the g-spot simultaneously, making orgasms stronger, more powerful, and more intense than ever before.
It is magnetic rechargable, is a triple stimulator and can be enjoyed for over 2 hours on a single charge. The usage and run time are:
Up to 60 minutes in Boost Mode at maximum setting
Up to 120 minutes in Rest Mode at maximum setting
It is crafted from body-safe silicone, IPX7 waterproof which is great for water play. As the vaginal space changes, the G-spot area of the toy’s elasticity provides a continuous filling sensation, eliminating any feeling of emptiness.
With the OSUGA Flow Triple Stimulation for Clitoris, Urethral and G-spot vibe, you can focus on your body, feel the build-up, and explore until you find what you like. Whether you’re playing solo or with a partner, Flow provides ultimate pleasure.
They believe that sex is a beautiful, natural experience, and strive to inspire every woman to embrace it with confidence.
OSUGA was founded in 2019 to help every woman recognize, accept, and explore herself. They prioritize design and quality in everything we create, aiming to build a sexual wellness brand that goes beyond stereotypes.
Through their innovative designs and commitment to quality, they strive to create a relaxed world where every woman can confidently embrace her individuality and experience the joy of self-discovery. For additional information and to purchase this item, visit their web store.
Ok kids, it’s story-time. Sit right down here at Uncle Ralphie’s knee and let me regale you of yet another tale of mystery and imagination (to steal from one of our greats) from the world of writing.
I had finally finished writing a book that was very near and dear to my heart. A non-fiction exploration and review of what I feel are thirteen overlooked 1970’s prog-rock albums; this tome was as much a labor of love as it was, I knew, far and away, from what I usually write and have come to sell (albeit slightly) and certainly in no way what this column is about, my usual output of erotica. But for what pumps deep in my heart, my connection to 70’s music, the songs I write, sing, and record, the full lot of being a musician as much as I am a writer of fiction/essays/blogs and plays speaks to what makes me me.
And I have indeed done a fair amount of music writing (check out www.vintagerock.com if you are so inclined).
My long-story-short explanation here is that this new book meant a lot to me.
I also knew/know it covers a niche subject, and if I were/will find a publisher, I have to come across a press specializing in this sort of thing. And yes, there are some out there, but they are few and far between. It would also help, I knew, to exploit (in the best way possible) any relationships I may have made through my reviewing/musicical connections. And I did just this, contacting an author I quite admire, who seems to pound out music books (and long detailed ones at that) monthly. He usually tackles one subject at a time—a famous band’s history, an unusual off-shoot genre of rock—and because I have interviewed him for Vintage Rock and have had occasion to buy some of his books, we have emailed a bit in the past.
I figured, let me ask his advice about my new book. Did he know of a good publishing house I could drop my 30 thousand + words with? Anything really that might help pivot slightly in the right direction?
He category refused to help.
His email was cordial enough, but he actually said, “I don’t do that,” when I asked him to recommend a publisher and more or less told me my book was dead in the water (and I barely even hinted to him what it was about).
Ok, so that’s just one guy Ralph; what do you care?
I care because I care about you, gentle readers of this column (and if indeed there are any readers of this column, I just know you are gentle). I want to protect you, best I can, from what’s ‘out there’ poised for the unknowing novice scribe. You have seen (again, if anybody actually does ‘see’ anything I write here) my cautions in previous columns. I hope you do learn from my lessons and your way is made a little clearer because of them. But what I am imparting today is more a way for you to act if you don’t act this way already, as opposed to cautioning you against some publisher or practice.
When that big-time music author emailed me back in that way (and I still don’t get his, “I don’t do that.” Did he mean I don’t recommend other music book writers to possible publishers because I don’t want the competition? This dude is light-years ahead of anything I could ever possibly catch up to…and with one book even), it took me aback. Ok, we weren’t friends, he doesn’t owe me dick (there’s a word for this usually naughty writing column), but a little advice or encouragement would have been nice.
Nice.
Nice.
I’ve said it before, and I will say it again, and I will end this longer-than-usual column with this one word of advice and what I most wanted to imparted when I began scribbling this screed.
BE NICE. To whomever emails you. Say hello at a book signing (be you lucky enough to have one and it’s attended by anybody but your family and friends). Be cordial and give a moment of your time to someone who might want to gab a bit after your “How To Write Dirty Words” class at a kink convention.
This is not even a ‘don’t burn a bridge’ lesson, which is something I do completely believe you should never. I am just saying, BE NICE, for no reason at all other than to BE NICE.
BE NICE.
And that, kids, is all I have for you today. Just BE NICE.
