model of a clitoris devised by the Sydney artist Alli Sebastian Wolf
The Gland
The power is in the Clitoris. Its ability to be responsive in so many different pleasurable ways make it the most powerful part of the anatomy according to many. The clitoris is a gland that is made of the head, the shaft, the legs that stretch along the pubic arch and the bulbs right behind it. Upon arousal the clitoris can become erect. The shaft within can be manipulated by moving it up and down or squeezing it softly. With sole stimulation of the clitoris, you can cause orgasms of various intensities. You can also use your mouth and lips to give pleasure – cunnlingus.
Arousal is crucial
There are some considerations you should take when you are masturbating or with a partner. It is possible to overwork the clitoris. Some people may also have a highly sensitive clitoris in which you can use the clitoral hood to buffer the sensation. You must create arousal to get an orgasmic result. If you are alone, touch other parts of your body that turn you on. Get in a great position for exploration and find the stimulation you need to release. If you are with a partner, they need to be mindful of the pressure, force, and speed that they use when touching the clitoris. Whether they are using their fingers, mouth, or tongue, it is important that they stay mindful in pushing down over the clitoris which can be painful when harden.
Pressure, Speed and Force
The amount of pressure you use to squeeze or lick over and around the clitoris could be too much for the recipient. This is because there is a certain direction and placement of the clitoris that feels better than others. Finding the sweet spot is the goal, you may be preventing the orgasm from being released because of the distraction of “grazing” the sweet spot. Listen to the person and stay where they need you to be. Of course, you need to also think about speed. Starting slow, gentle, and purposeful is a great way to begin the process. If you begin to move your fingers or tongue over the clitoris rapidly you are going to create over sensitivity or pain. Wait for the go ahead to pick up speed. By then you have been giving the formula for this person’s orgasm. The perfect amount of pressure, the perfect speed and force.
As the receiver, you can control your breathing to stay present and aware of the sensations you are experiencing. Take in slow steady air to the count of 2-4 counts and release it at 6. Keep this up as you become vocal, moaning increases senses for all parties. It lets the giver know that they are doing something right and stay where they are. If you are receiving, you should be in a safe space where you can tell your person by moving your body where your sweet spot is. Be comfortable with gyrating, pressing down, speaking up, whatever it takes to convey your need. A safe space is when your giver follows your wishes without guilt, shame, or pressure to keep going.
Add in Fingering
It is also important to follow through on what types of pleasure you want to receiver/give. A clitoral orgasm can stand alone, if you add other stimulation, you will change the type of orgasm that is being had with the clitoris being the most powerful and reactive spot. Let’ s say you begin to use your fingers to open the Vspot and begin to stimulate the vaginal walls, the Aspot, Gspot, Cspot, deep spot or cul de sac. Creating a rhythm between clitoral stimulation and pressure, force and speed of your fingers can create an all over body release.
The Star of the Show
While every clitoris owner is different, knowing the basics of how to stimulate it, makes you a better lover, helps you to practice patience and requires you to stay focus on the pleasure you are giving and the reaction of the person. When you find that they are flinching, moving away from you, or verbally expressing discomfort, you must stop whatever you are doing right way. Often when you “traumatize” the clitoris it will not respond to further stimulation pleasurable. It’s like losing an erection. If the situation agrees, you can start over by going back to the foreplay that led them to arousal. It may take longer to get them fully engaged again but take patience to allow them to get there. Accept the power of the clitoris and its ability to be the star of the show.
