Sex has great power in a person’s life. In addition to being an indispensable act of evolution, it brings many positive aspects to man. It has a positive effect on our physical and mental well-being. The ancient hedonists already knew that it could give a deeper meaning to our lives. Western scientists are finding out about how sex can help us find the meaning of life.
Content:
Hedonism aka teaching of pleasure
Sex that gives meaning to our lives
Results of an American study of sex as the meaning of life
Cultivation of sexuality as a way to a meaningful life
Hedonism aka teaching of pleasure
Hedonism is a philosophical teaching of pleasure as the main motive for human action. The name is based on the Greek word hédoné or pleasure. It is divided into two stages. The first is psychological hedonism, which is the view that humans are psychologically constructed in such a way that we exclusively desire pleasure. According to this theory, all actions are aimed at achieving pleasure and avoiding suffering.
Then there is ethical hedonism which is the view that our fundamental moral obligation is to maximize pleasure or happiness. Such an opinion was allegedly held by Eudoxos of Knidus, a famous Greek mathematician and Aristotle’s older contemporary. Aristotle says of him that Eudoxos considered pleasure to be the highest good, because he saw that everything reasonable and unreasonable was directed at it.
The ideas of hedonists are followed by the modern ethic of utilitarianism. Utilitarianism is based on the principle of usefulness for all participants in a given action. He finds the goal and measure of human behavior is to seek prosperity, benefit, and conversely, to reduce pain and suffering. The founder of utilitarianism was Jeremy Bentham – a British legal theorist, enlightenment philosopher, radical social reformer and a great critic of human rights.
Sex that gives meaning to our lives
A recent study by George Mason of the American University defines sex as the combination of body enjoyment with mind enjoyment. According to scientist-psychologist Tod Kashdan and his colleagues, such a combination can help a person find meaning in life.
The question of what makes sense in our lives has been addressed by scholars since ancient times. Is happiness a pleasure for the body, or is a better life focused on study and contemplation?
The camps of philosophers thus divided into two camps. Hedonists, for whom the meaning of life is pleasure coming more from the activity of the body. And those who subscribe to the teaching of eudaimonia, which finds meaning and pleasure more so in the activity of the mind.
The study, led by Professor Kashdan, is revolutionary in that it asks whether sex could not belong to both groups and, above all, that sexual activity can lead to an increase in the meaning of life.
Study results:
Sex leads to a positive mood and an overall feeling of fulfillment.
Positive feelings after intense sex can persist for up to 12 days.
Sex not only satisfies our physical desires, it also pleases our souls.
A new view of sex as a meaningful relationship between two people that brings fulfillment, security and meaning.
The better the sex, the greater the mental enjoyment.
Cultivation of sexuality as a way to a meaningful life
In order to elevate sexual intercourse from a boring regular act to an experience that gives meaning to our lives, we need to cultivate and develop sexuality. Modern times offer countless opportunities to get to know your own body and find out what it does and doesn’t do well.
There are countless courses and seminars where you can learn with your partner (serious or casual) how to maximize the pleasure of your body, mind and soul through sexual intercourse.
So if you are feeling a sense of meaningless in your life, reach for one of the most natural and enjoyable activities – sex. Embark on an adventurous journey of discovery, at the end of which you will find a treasure in the form of a good mood, a positive attitude towards the world and the feeling that life makes sense.
Over a year later and finally, many Chicago singles are fully vaccinated and ready to get back out there, in person, and start dating.
Apps like Hinge, Tinder, Match and Bumble are offering special incentives to people who roll up their sleeves, including badges showing vaccination status and free access to premium content. BLK and Chispa will boost profiles of those who are vaccinated, to make them more visible to potential matches. And OKCupid will even let users filter out potential partners based on whether they’ve gotten a vaccine.
The White House says the apps will also direct users to learn how to get vaccinated, including connecting them with educational materials and information on how to find the nearest vaccination site.
With incentives swirling, does this mean more people will get vaccinated in hopes of matching with a future potential partner?
One thing is for sure, with dating app use increase the past year, it’s safe to say dating online isn’t going to be affected by the pandemic ending and people dating in person again.
Priti Joshi, vice president of marketing strategy and operations at Bumble, has the data to back up the popularity of dating apps during the pandemic.
“Online dating has been widely normalized for some time, but I think that this time of social distancing really put a spotlight on the tools and platforms that help people feel connected to others without having to meet IRL,” Joshi said in an email. “For example, Bumble’s Voice Call and Video Chat feature had a nearly 70% increase in use after the State of Emergency was declared in the US last spring.”
With a dating pool as massive as the one Chicago has, it’s hard to limit yourself to only vaccinated singles. After all, many people assume statistics are on their side (Chicago Covid cases have been dwindling, now at positive rate of .4%, as the number of vaccinated rises, now at 55% vaxxed) and won’t limit themselves to dating only the vaccinated.
In fact, 65% of Chicago singles say they won’t stick to dating only vaccinated singles, which shows they trust in the science behind the vaccinations.
Alison Baker, a 12-year resident of Chicago, is fully vaccinated as of May and says she has already been on 2 in-person dates and is looking forward to a summer of dating.
“I had already timed out my first in-person dates for the weeks after I was fully vaccinated, according to CDC standards, at least. I was a bit nervous to see if I would get butterflies for someone again, that spark that hits you when you meet someone you’re already interested in. I sort of knew what to expect since I video dated both of them before agreeing to meet in person,” said Baker.
Tinder and Bumble were quick to roll out video-chat features when the pandemic first started, and they highly contributed to dating app downloads and usage.
Sixty percent of those surveyed said they will continue to use dating apps going into summer, as much as they were in spring.
It seems that it will indeed be the summer of fucks for many Chicago singles.
Sex dolls today are a lot different to what a sex doll for sale would have looked like ten, or even five years ago. They’re no longer flimsy pieces of plastic and they absolutely don’t need to be inflated like balloons. Today, you have the opportunity to purchase a high-quality, realistic sex doll that is an almost perfect replica of a real woman.
The intricate details like moles, freckles and veins on these dolls are painted on individually by talented artists. A premium luxury sex doll is certainly no cheap piece of plastic.
Read on to learn about the production of each sex doll for sale in the dolloro® online shop and you’ll be punching yourself for not learning about the irresistible world of sex dolls earlier.
Are There Different Types of Sex Dolls for Sale?
If your naughty mind can imagine it, you bet there’s a sex doll for it. From vampires, to angels, to seemingly innocent kawaii girls and elegant elf princesses – regardless of your preferences, your perfect sex doll for sale is out there waiting for you to sweep her off her feet.
There’s even a large selection of male dolls with seamlessly chiseled muscles. So irrespective of your sexuality, your dream sex doll for sale is out there somewhere.
With a sex doll, your wettest dreams can be brought to life. Think your fantasy is too wild? Well you don’t know until you try. Start searching for the perfect sex doll for sale and you’ll be surprised by what you find.
Who Needs a Sex Doll?
If you believe that your sex life has been lacking recently, or you’re simply looking to add some excitement to the bedroom, then a sex doll is just the thing you need. A real doll, also known as a sex doll, absolutely cannot be compared to a cheap blowup doll. A realistic sex doll comes with a price tag; however, you can expect it to last upwards of 5 years – even if you like it rough.
You’ll notice that the differences between a real woman and any sex doll for sale are scarce. That is, unless you prefer huge silicone boobs, tiny waists, and big asses. In this case, you’ll still find many sex dolls for sale with these unrealistic proportions. But don’t worry because their faces, skin and genitals will still be lifelike.
This unimaginable realism can be attributed to the TPE (thermoplastic elastomers) that is used for the skin of almost every sex doll for sale. TPE is soft, flexible and can quickly absorb and store heat, meaning that the skin of your chosen sex doll for sale will allow for a truly realistic sexual experience.
Fact 1: Everyone’s dream woman is out there as a sex doll for sale. You’ve just got to find her! Oh, and don’t forget to buy sex doll accessories for her!
Live Out Every Kink
There’s an almost endless list of different kinks and preferences and many people even feel ashamed for liking a certain thing in the bedroom. You may be interested in something that society tells you is perverse or weird. How do you bring that up to a potential partner?
The good news is that we’re not here to kink shame and neither is a sex doll. In fact, any sex doll for sale that you choose will gladly help you bring your fantasies to life. Anything your dirty mind thinks of can be reenacted with a love doll.
Fact 2: Buy your new plaything some makeup or beautiful jewelry. You can easily buy sex doll products that are designed especially for them.
Every Position Imaginable: Underneath the soft TPE skin of every love doll is a high-tech steel skeleton. This means that your sexy bed bunny can be put into every position imaginable.
Sex Doll for Sale: The Advantages
Advantages
Explanation
Sex with the perfect partner
Are your dreams filled with one specific woman, or maybe even your favorite porn star? But you know that in real life, she wouldn’t pay you any attention.
A real doll’s attention will be focused on you only. What more could you want from such a sexy bed bunny?
Sex exactly how you like it
Your real doll won’t stop until you tell her. She’s finished when you are. The tough steel skeleton inside of every sex doll for sale ensures that they can take it rough. She’s not a sweet porcelain doll, so you don’t have to worry about breaking her. The best part is that there’s no such thing as too much sex for a love doll. In fact, she’ll never be able to get enough of you.
Say goodbye to loneliness
Choose your sex doll for sale today and you’ll never have to endure another lonely night. You can be yourself without worrying about her leaving you for someone else. Plus, she’ll be waiting eagerly for you to get home from work every afternoon.
A threesome without jealousy
Many couples long for a threesome, but never get around to doing it because they’re worried about jealousy issues and sexual health risks. A third person can put a rift between yourself and your partner.
With a sex doll, these concerns are completely eliminated. A doll can easily be shared between the two of you and there’s even no need for condoms- unless you’d prefer an easier clean up.
Summary: It doesn’t matter why you’re looking for a sex doll for sale or what your personal preferences are. You’ll find the perfect love doll for your needs and we guarantee that she’ll quickly become your favorite bedroom partner.
Choosing a Sex Doll for Sale: The Types
You’ll find a sex doll for sale with every hair color, eye color, cup size, ethnicity and height that you can imagine. We haven’t mentioned this yet, but you’re not just limited to TPE sex dolls. Silicone can also be used to manufacture the soft, supple skin of your love doll. It is not possible to say that one is better than the other as they both have their advantages and disadvantages. So in this section, you’ll learn everything there is to know about both TPE dolls and luxury silicone sex dolls.
TPE Sex Doll for Sale: Pros & Cons
TPE is the preferred material of many sex doll manufacturers around the world. It’s sturdy but soft, as well as flexible and supple, allowing the talented artists to easily paint the fine details onto every sex doll for sale.
Advantages of a TPE sex doll for sale:
Realistic
Soft, smooth skin texture
Great heat storage
Even the average TPE sex doll for sale has a great price/performance ratio and conforms to most budgets. These irresistible beauties are easy to clean and they certainly won’t disappoint once invited into your bedroom.
Luxury Silicone Sex Doll for Sale: Pros & Cons
On the other hand, silicone sex dolls have a smoother, almost airbrushed quality to their skin. Plus, silicone on average lasts longer than TPE. A TPE doll will last around 3-5 years, whereas you can expect a well-cared for silicone doll to last around 5-7 years. This can be put down to a few factors: first of all, silicone is more resistant than TPE and secondly, silicone sex doll owners tend to take better care of their dolls as they come with a larger price tag.
Advantages of a silicone sex doll for sale:
Extremely tough
Long-lasting heat storage (more so than TPE)
Detailed, lifelike genitals
Another strong point of silicone is flexibility. This means that the talented artists working on every sex doll for sale are able to mold and paint incredibly natural and detailed genitals.
All About Choosing the Perfect Sex Doll for Sale
So, you’ve made the decision to find the perfect sex doll for sale. Maybe you even just want to buy sex doll products. But where should you start? The first step is to take a look at different sex doll vendors. However, you need to be cautious, as some stores post pictures of certain sex doll brands, but what you receive in the post a few weeks later after your purchase is a completely different, low-quality sex doll.
Luckily, we’ve been researching for you and we’ve found dolloro® -a reliable German supplier of sex toys and real dolls. They’re an official retailer for over 10 brands of high-quality, ultra-realistic sex dolls. We’re sure of this because their brand dealer certificate is displayed on every single brand page. Whether you’re searching for the perfect sex doll for sale, or you just want to buy sex doll products, the internet is endless, so you’ll find someone reliable to satisfy your needs.
Another thing to watch out for is how much attention the company pays to youth protection. Ensure that all of their content is created with the guidance of youth protection officers and that it abides by the most recent youth protection laws.
This German sex doll retailer will give you personal assistance when it comes to choosing the best sex doll for sale. Call them up or send a quick email and they’ll gladly give you the answers to all of your questions.
Confidentiality is important above all else at dolloro® and that’s why they offer their exclusive discretion promise. Whether you’re looking for a sex doll for sale, or you need to buy sex doll products, dolloro® is ready to help.
Finding a Sex Doll for Sale: Conclusion
If you’ve been searching for a unique, erotic sexual experience, then you’re on the right track. The perfect sex doll for sale can completely revitalize your sex life. Whether you’ve got your eye on a silicone sex doll for sale, or a TPE doll, you’ll find both available in a variety of designs from tall to short and curvy to skinny.
If you have further enquiries, or you’re interested in reading up on the world of sex dolls, check out the Love Magazine from dolloro®. If you have a question about a specific sex doll for sale, don’t hesitate to give them a call or send an email. The competent customer support team have an answer for every query.
Choose your favorite sex doll for sale and have her delivered to you ASAP!
Vibrating Panties are a nice little sex toy that are fun for couples to play with.
They are a discreet sex toy, perfect for anyone who wants to add a bit of covert sexual tease to a night of pleasure. Buy it for your partner, get them to wear it and while kissing them at every sensitive point in their body, turn the vibration on to experience heightened pleasure!
Sounds like fun, right? Pantie vibrators are extremely popular for several reasons:
They are discreet and sensual. Vibrating panties are very sexy too in feminine lacy designs.
They are affordable. They cost anywhere between $30 to $60 for a few pairs.
They are easy to use and very versatile. Put them on and slip the vibrator into the pantie’s pocket.
You can use them to tease, tantalize and pleasure- whether on your own or with your partner.
Pantie vibrators are take a familiar item (a pair of panties) and turn them into a pleasure object. So how do they work? Very simply actually. A small vibrator is inserted into a specially created pocket sewn into the panties, so the wearer receives pleasure targeting the genital region.
Most vibrating panties come with a remote control that can be used to change the vibration and pulsation settings depending on your preferences. With control of a button, you have an unexpected and erotic means of sexual play.
Using the panties is a matter of putting them on and slipping the vibrator into the pocket built for it. You can wear it alone or with clothing on top, whatever your fancy. The person holding the remote controls the intensity of the experience. If you like control, you keep it. But if you want to submit and have your lover control your pleasure and orgasms, then allow them to control the remote.
The fun is to see just how long you can maintain composure before giving in to that first screaming orgasm.
While they are fun in the bedroom, here are five more exciting ways to use them.
#1 Use them for foreplay
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If you or your partner loves to watch while someone pleasures themselves, then vibrating panties hit the sweet spot. It’s a covert, almost subtle way of getting your libido blazing. Imagine watching your partner writhing and moaning as you control the buttons on the remote, increasing or decreasing the intensity of the vibration. Whether it’s relaxing on the sofa, enjoying a dessert spread with chocolate, having a make-out session on the soft carpet or a quickie in the morning, these panties will definitely light the fire and send you quivering with pleasure.
#2 Use it to tease
Sex toys, especially vibrating ones, are popular among people whose fetish lies in the controlled orgasm department. Whether you are playing a dominating or submissive role, use vibrating panties to create a controlled orgasm bdsm scene. See how long your lover can hold out without having a mind-blowing orgasm!
#3 Have some naughty PDAs
Vibrating panties are not only easy to use, but they are also easy to pack and take with you wherever you go—planning a tropical escapade with your boyfriend or celebrating your 10th wedding anniversary with your wife? Pack the panties with you. Add a bit of excitement while playing footsie under the table and fine dining or while sipping down your mojitos on the beach.
#4 Add some fun in the pool or the bathtub
Some vibrator panties are water proof which means you can wear them in the pool or the hot tub for extra fun. Slip the vibrator into your swimsuit to enjoy an orgasmic experience that will make you wetter and wilder. It’s a top-secret and naughty way to have fun either on your own or with your partner. Just make sure the type you wear can be used when submerged underwater, or else it’ll break.
#5 Have orgasmic fun together
Vibrating panties bring sexual pleasure to a person, a couple and even a group of people. How about giving these panties away at bachelorette parties? Or how about wearing them for a party, at the bar, or girl’s night out? Who knows what added pleasure you could have!
#6 Lust and fun into the mundane tasks
Must housework be tedious? You can make it exciting for yourself by adding the pleasure element while doing some housework, so get those panties out, put them on and add some vibration while you clean, dust, mop and scrub. If you’ve never tried vibrating panties while doing housework, now’s a good time to start. Housework will never be boring again!
Vibrating panties are a great way to add some fun to the sheets for you and your partner. They are a recommended sex toy, especially for beginners if you’d like to start with something subtle and easy. Like any other sex toy, it helps to do some research to see what types of vibrating panties are on the market and whether they will fulfill your needs. Adding this extra pleasure toy into your sex life can undoubtedly turn up the heat for you and your partner.
Do you need the experience to work as a webcam model?
More than ever since Covid, there has been a significant increase in people choosing to work from home as webcam performers and or setting up various membership fan-based online accounts to sell content. As most of us are aware, this came from the lockdown worldwide, where many were stuck home and seeking other ways to make a living and or occupy their time.
It has always been the assumption you have to be a model and actor/actress to have an online presence and attract a fan base, but that is not the case at all. In fact, the saying, everyone has a different cup of tea is very true in the adult industry as well. This saying stands true for my Swinger community members. In the past, I have been approached and told if I was more selective with my members I would have younger “prettier” members. Does younger and prettier mean that is what everyone desires? Does everyone want a Barbie and a Ken?
I wholeheartedly disagree with this assumption. Everyone is attracted to what they like. Maybe a certain hair color, eye color, tall, curvy, dark skin, light skin, so why pick a community based on just one appearance? The same goes with the adult industry, webcam performers, models, and content creators.
My guest on my podcast this week is why I decided to have this as the subject of my blog entry. She entered the industry later in life as did I, and she originally felt that no one would be interested in watching her cam or hire her to shoot as a porn performer, but she was proven wrong.
I really became intrigued when she shared with me in our initial email conversation that her shows are based on her scripts. She has over 30 characters she plays, my favorite was her teacher character. I do not want to give it away, as if you tune in to our interview on The Hankie Pankie Podcast, she will share her reasonings behind her brilliant marketing technique.
I have actually noticed that members of my Swinger club community who started a fan-based membership page during the pandemic and have more followers and fans than I do, even though I am the one with experience. Anyone can enter a webcam chat room and no matter what it is are you are attracted to, you can now find exactly what you are looking for. Small breasts, large breasts, performers with tattoos, performers with shaved heads, it does not matter.
To work in the adult industry or any career field and be successful is the willingness to listen and learn. We all make mistakes, but own them and take something away from that experience to improve. Talk to others in the field, watch other performers and even join their membership pages. Do not copy, but instead let your experience open up a creative side of you to develop your own niche and your own marketing and branding technique that works for you.
It will ultimately come down to your personality, your work ethic, and your willingness to learn and grow in this career just like any other. As I always say, you only have one life to live be true to yourself. You control your destiny. Till next time.
A few weekends ago, we had one of those rare weekends with high temperatures in the 70’s. We just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to do something fun outdoors, and what could be more fun than sex in a hot tub?
Luckily, I live relatively close to an outstanding outdoor hot tub spa. Each of the private outdoor “rooms” are decorated in a theme.
If you’re thinking that themed rooms are tacky, these are not. We got the Oahu room, which is surrounded by high privacy walls and fences complete with a waterfall. (On a previous visit, we had the Vancouver room that’s furnished in a rustic lodge feel with a gas fireplace.) There’s also a selection of piped-in music to set the mood. An acoustic strings channel was quite fitting for the dreamy post-brunch state of mind we were already in.
Regardless of the surroundings, hot tub sex is … well … pretty damn hot. The sensations of feeling weightless and buoyant in the warm, bubbling water is a sensual experience onto itself. It also lends to some sex positions that wouldn’t be possible or nearly as comfortable on a bed or in a chair. If you have sizable weight or height differences, being in the bubbly, shallow water makes many more positions do-able.
He sat back while I straddled his hips and effortlessly pumped and ground myself on top of him. While I was expending most of the energy and action, it hardly felt if I was at all. If it were physiologically possible to make love all day, sex in a hot tub would be the way to do it.
While waterproof battery-operated toys can be fun in a hot tub, they really aren’t necessary if you catch my drift. On both visits, we never thought about using sex toys.
Before Your Dive Into Hot Tub Sex…
Before jumping into a hot tub sex outing, there are a few things that you should keep in mind.
Pay heed to medical conditions. Hot tubs are a “no-no” for pregnant women or people with heart conditions.
If you need to use a lube, use a silicone lubricant. It won’t wash away like a water-based lubricant, although chances are you won’t need it.
If you’re a woman prone to yeast infections, chlorine can mess up your Ph balance. It might be a good idea to add some yogurt to your diet before and after hot tubbing.
If you rely on spermicide or condoms for birth control, have another plan and or be creative with your sex play. Both are less effective in water.
Whether or not you get your nookie on in a hot tub, make sure that it’s clean and properly maintained. Vaginal and other infections are so unsexy.
Previously published at: http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com/hot-hot-tub-sex/
***I will be discussing PTSD, Depression, Suicide and a very brief mention of Child Sexual Assault. Please make sure you are in a good place, both mentally, and physically when you read this. ***
Introductions
Table of Contents
Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash
Good morning, my name is Herne. I was lucky enough to be given the opportunity to contribute to Sexpert.com. I say lucky because I have no formal training or higher education related to this site, no letters after my name and I still get to work with so many amazing people who are doing important work.
Now do not get me wrong, I have plenty experience in life, love, relationships and sex. I have been married for about 25 years, have teenagers who have had their own dating and relationship woes and have found myself as a sounding board for a great number of my friends and family.
I am a retired Military Vet and a former Police Detective who specialized in Special Victim Cases, mostly Child Sexual Assault and Child Pornography. I have talked to more than my fair share of perverted people, they were just the bad perverts, not the good perverts like you and me. So, I am here to add my blue-collar voice on a variety of topics.
I am a work boots and blue jeans wearing, small town living, incredibly handsome guy who used to be ignorant about a great many things; however, I have met people who have trusted me, shared painful experiences with me, taught me and helped me realize the world was bigger than me.
PTSD and Your Penis … No, This is Not a Buddy Cop Movie
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
Today I would like to talk to you about one of my favorite topics, my penis. Well, not just mine, but that’s the one I have the most experience with. Specifically Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and its effects on our sex lives and by extension, our partners lives.
Part one of this article will talk about how PTSD, and related issues, can cause Erectile Dysfunction (ED). I’ll tell you how my wife and I handled it, things we tried, and what people who know a heck of a lot more than me say.
Part 2 will go to the other extreme and we will discuss hypersexuality and risk taking caused by PTSD.
Part 1: Erectile Dysfunction
Photo by Download a pic Donate a buck! ^ from Pexels
Between my deployments and seeing graphic images of Child Sexual Abuse, I began to retreat within myself. I began having nightmares and being hyper-vigilant and angry; however, I never had issues with my erections, until I did.
I can still remember the first time as if it were yesterday. I walked out of the bathroom, and my wife made a comment that was supposed to be sexy, but I had heard a similar comment by one of my “customers” before he would hurt children. I lost my erection faster than a politician takes a bribe. I thought I could fix it, maybe some foreplay would help, but nothing worked that night. I will tell you, that night broke me.
One of the worst things about ED is that often it is mental[i]. Failure to get erect once will make you stress about it the next time, which makes it more likely you will not be able to get hard again. When you fail again, it starts all over, and over, and over, worse each time. Luckily, I had an amazing partner who never blamed me, belittled me, or pressured me.
Lying Just Makes Things Harder, and Softer
Image by ErikaWittlieb from Pixabay
In the meantime, I was walking around like Mark Ruffalo about to turn into the Hulk. I was always angry. You will hear people with PTSD say they feel like they go from 1 to 10 on the anger scale at the drop of a hat. Truth is, many of us walk around at 8, but since we are always at 8, that is our new baseline. Clearly, 8 to 10 is not a big jump.
Because of my anger, my crying while I was alone in my car, and my refusal to go anywhere but work and home, my wife convinced me to go see someone. Looking back, this was one of the Top 5 things she has ever done for me, but as usual, I made a mistake that I hope whoever is reading this does not make.
The doc diagnosed me with depression and anxiety. As he was talking about medication, he asked me about any sexual issues such as ED. I proudly told him no, everything was working great. I put on a performance like Jennifer Lopez in the movie Gigli. Honestly, I should have won an Oscar for how believable I was.
If there is one thing I can talk about, it’s my little man and I would be damned if I told this shrink (no pun intended), I could not get it up. I was a rough, tough killer, I had been to war and back. I am pretty sure I even offered to show him my little warrior at one point. The point is, I lied.
I guess you can imagine what happened next. My libido dropped and if I thought I was flaccid before; my little mister was like a turtle in the middle of the highway. He was stuck in his shell and nothing brought him out.
Friends, if you don’t know or haven’t heard, a great many medications can cause low libido and interfere with erections[ii]. Now, remember that vicious cycle I talked about earlier, add in a medicine whose side effects made sex as interesting to me as staring at a beige ceiling, and it was miserable. So, what changed?
There is Help, You Just Have to Reach Out
Image by Ulrike Mai from Pixabay
To be blunt, I tried to kill myself. Not over my ED, but my PTSD was getting worse and worse and I was lying about how great the medicine was for my mental health. I kept heading downhill until my wife walked in the bedroom one evening right before I was about to take several handfuls of pills. She did not realize what was going on at the time. After she left the room, I knew I could not do it.
The next day I went to see my “Crazy Doctor”, also known as a psychiatrist. I was hospitalized for the next 45-ish days. While I was in the hospital, I finally told the truth about how the medicine was affecting me, my moods, my thoughts, and my junk. Being in a hospital is a great place to try different medications because I was safe. When I say safe, we could not wear shoes with laces, which is why we called them “Danger Shoes”, and they were locked away. We tried different combinations of meds until we found one that I was stable on.
On a side note, if you have not tried therapy because you think it’s “stoopid” or makes you look “weak” or will not work, please slap yourself. Good, now slap yourself one more time and then listen up. THERAPY WORKS!!!
I cannot tell you how much I hated myself, how worthless I felt and how much of a failure I thought I was. If you do not believe that way of thinking has any effect on your Lincoln Log, you are kidding yourself.
A study on PTSD and Sexual Dysfunction found that “particular PTSD clusters and symptoms have been studied, and it was hypothesized that autonomic arousal, anger/hostility, emotional numbing/avoidance symptoms, and chronic autonomic arousal and intrusive symptoms were mostly associated with sexual problems among veterans with PTSD. “[iii]
During my time in the hospital, I saw a bunch of battle hardened, jaded, angry young men cry like babies, but after a few weeks of alternating between anger and tears, we started smiling and joking with each other. Then one day in the shower, I was washing Mr. Tiny and he turned into Mr. Not-as-Tiny, and even though we were not supposed to “engage in any sexual activity”, I rode that little guy for all he was worth! What was the difference? My thought patterns. I was dealing with my anger, guilt and lack of self-worth. I stopped hating myself and started to accept what I had seen and done.
Intimacy then Sex
Photo by Ariel Camilo from FreeImages
When I got home, my wife and I went to see a marriage counselor. We had a lot to work out to be able to be truly intimate. A true relationship is a team event, I do not care if you are taking on the local rugby team or one quiet, tiny submissive. If all parties are not consenting (even consensual non-consent), it will be a bad day for someone.
It took us both to work on our intimacy and my penis (pun intended). She was supportive and understanding and times when instead of saluting her beauty, my delicate dude went into turtle mode, she told me it was ok and started kissing me and she was kind enough to let me pleasure her.
Side Note: People, if you have not taken time to pleasure your partner without expecting anything back, you are missing out. That simple exercise helped us tremendously. Remove the pressure and you will be surprised what works.
If you are reading this and are thinking you have PTSD and have no issues with ED, it may only be a matter of time. According to a study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine “by some estimates, nearly one in five U.S. soldiers returning home from Iraq and Afghanistan suffer from PTSD. And the majority of these veterans-those age 40 or below, who are in the prime of their sexual lives—face an 81 percent higher risk of sexual problems than those without a PTSD diagnosis, further research released last year in the same journal suggests a stronger link: Servicemen with probable PTSD were 29 times as likely as those without PTSD to report ED. Among men with genital injuries, for comparison, the risk of ED went up only nine-fold.”[iv]
What Works to Make it Work?
Photo by geralt from Pixabay.com
I can hear you already saying “Herne, cut to the chase man, what worked”. Understanding from myself and forgiveness for myself. Communication and patience from my partner.
Dr. Benjamin Breyer, a researcher based out of UC San Francisco stated, “educating patients and trying to remove the stigmas associated with sexual dysfunction is important so people who suffer from sexual dysfunction actually get treatment.”[v] Author and Mental Health researcher Rachael Yehuda said “Explaining the biological connection between PTSD and low libido or difficulty with intimacy can also help partners or spouse support a loved one who is experiencing sexual dysfunction.”
Antidepressants have helped tremendously, even knowing the side effects, they are worth it to me. PTSD does not heal itself; you may limp (ok, pun intended) along coping with life, but that’s not really living.
According to the Mayo Clinic, “Post-traumatic stress disorder treatment can help you regain a sense of control over your life. The primary treatment is psychotherapy but can also include medication. Combining these treatments can help improve your symptoms.”[vi]
On the mechanical side, I learned that foreplay helped me immensely. Focusing on my spouse helped take the focus and pressure off of me. I took Viagra as well, just remember, if you are battling PTSD or Depression, no amount of Viagra alone will help. According to healthline.com “Viagra does not work on its own, you still need to feel sexually aroused to get an erection.”[vii]
I have used a penis pump as well. Now, you have to be very careful with these, you can’t slap it on and just start pumping yourself because you can cause some serious damage. If you really want to torture yourself, google penis pump accidents and read some horror stories.
In addition to using a penis pump, you need a way to keep the blood in your penis, so I chose to use a c-ring, also known as a constriction ring or a cock ring. The pump helps pull blood into your penis and the ring helps keep it there.[viii]
***NOTICE*** I am not giving you ANY medical advice; I am telling what worked for me. These things can go wrong very quickly and by wrong, I mean you can potentially lose your penis. I had a doctor who was cooler than the other side of the pillow and I was able to talk to him about these things. Make sure to see a doctor, health professional, sexpert, or expert before you try a penis pump, c-ring, or similar erection assistant.
At the end of the day, if you have untreated PTSD or depression, nothing you do physically/mechanically to get an erection will help or at least not for long. I cannot stress enough that you need to get help.[ix]
As much as I enjoy sex and being intimate with my wife, and yes, they are different, I would have neither if I had killed myself. If you get appropriate help, the intimacy can come back and the sex will follow. If you are getting help for your mental health and you are stable, ask your doctor about ways to help ED. Changing medications or a combination of medications can help. Viagra, or Cialis, or something similar may be what you need, but these are secondary to you being in the right mind.
Strength is Fighting When Your Demons Tell You to Lay Down
Photo by Evelyn Chong from Pexels
I have outlived my attempted death by 16 months. I still occasionally use Viagra, I occasionally use a cock ring, but more often, I slip in the sheets, I kiss and touch my wife, talk dirty, and enjoy her body and more often than not, my tiny Soldier man stands at attention.
I want to leave you with a final thought. I had a good friend who was a trans woman. She was in the Army with me and she taught me a lot about myself and how to see others. She changed me into a better person and for the better.
She got out of the Army and battled her demons until she could no longer fight. Three years ago, she took her life. She would always tell me “Every day, you have to wake up and fight your fight. Every night when you go to bed, you won, so be a winner for those around you!” She had a lot of fight, more than I will ever know. She still won because I am here, and I am passing on what I have learned to you.
[iii] Letica-Crepulja, M., Stevanovic, A., Protuder, M., et al, “Predictors of Sexual Dysfunction in Veterans with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder”, 29 Mar 2019, National Center for Biotechnology Information, retrieved 24 Jun 2020 from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6518171/
[v] “Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)”, 6 Jul 2018, The Mayo Clinic, retrieved 24 Jun 2020 from https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20355973
[vi] “Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)”, 6 Jul 2018, The Mayo Clinic, retrieved 24 Jun 2020 from https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20355973
[vii] Jewell, T., “How Long Does Viagra Last?”; 15 Jun 2020, Healthline, retrieved 24 Jun 2020 from https://www.healthline.com/health/erectile-dysfunction/how-long-does-viagra-last#when-it-starts-working
[viii] Roland, J., “Penis Pumps: How to Use, Where to Buy, and What to Expect”, 19 Apr 2018, Healthline, retrieved 24 Jun 2020 from https://www.healthline.com/health/mens-health/how-to-use-a-penis-pump
[ix] Lo, M., “Can Untreated Complex PTSD Kill or Become Life-Threatening?”, Traumatized Auspie, retrieved 24 Jun 2020 from https://traumatizedaspie.com/complex-ptsd-if-left-untreated/
The Kama Sutra has been a source of great mystery and excitement for lovers seeking sexual adventure. The Kama Sutra is Sanskrit (ancient Hindu language) for Desire Rules and is the earliest and best known Indian sex manual. It was written by an Indian sage, Vatsyayana between the 1st and 4th Centuries AD. Then it was translated into English by the 19th Century British explorer Sir Richard F. Burton in 1876. With each translation, the Kama Sutra’s contents have become more distorted, so I would like to give you the explanation of the original Kama Sutra.
The Kama Sutra is renowned for its creative sexual positions, a total of 64 that Vatsyayana derived from eight ways of making love, multiplied by eight positions.
I was impressed when I found out that the Kama Sutra reveals a total of 40 different ways to kiss your lover, but I was disappointed to discover the Kama Sutra’s distaste (excuse the pun) to oral sex. Vatsyayana wrote, “It should not be done because it is opposed to the moral code.”
The writer may not have been orally inclined, but he was definitely into BDSM because he recommends biting and scratching as ways of improving lovemaking.
There are some interesting flirting and seduction tips in the Kama Sutra for men who want to be irresistible to women; it recommends that he tie the bone of a peacock or a hyena to his right hand.
Problems with male impotency were obviously prevalent during this time because the Karma Sutra offers a unique recipe for male sexual enhancement. Boil sparrows’ eggs in milk and then mix with clarified butter and honey. I’m not sure if you are supposed to swallow it or spread it on the Lingam (Sanskrit word meaning his Wand of Light).
My favorite quote in The Kama Sutra is, Divine Union which means sexual intercourse because for me it conjures up images of two loving people integrated into oneness.
Actually only about 20 per cent of The Kama Sutra is devoted to sex. The remainder is on relationship etiquette with tips on how to arrange your home and how to achieve happiness, kind of Martha Steward Living in Antiquity. It suggests that you should adorn your home with flowers, have a soft bed, and keep a pot for spitting in. Not bad advice even for today!
Is your sex drive feeling low? Well, there are countless, simple ways to increase your sex drive that you can do. It might take some time before you are able to see a major difference, but some things can give you an instant boost. Below are the 7 most useful ways to increase sex drive.
1. Work On Your Physical Health
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One of the most essential things that you can do to increase libido, is to look after is your physical health. Exercising and working on your body gives you added strength and ability for better performance in the bedroom and out. But that is not all. Exercise increases testosterone levels too, which leads to a better sex life. So, start focusing on your physical health.
2. Chocolate Can Be Beneficial
There are multiple food items that can increase your sex drive,one of which is chocolate when it comes to this, specifically dark chocolate. Chocolate is reportedly one of the greatest aphrodisiacs that you can consume to heighten your sex drive. But, do so in moderation. How does chocolate boost your sex life? It increases the levels of serotonin in your body which helps stabilize your mood, with feelings of well-being, and happiness.
3. Limit Your Alcohol Intake
Alcohol consumption can really decrease your libido to a great extent. It is important to limit your alcohol intake, especially when you’re planning on an intimate interaction with your lover. Alcohol is a depressant, and in some studies it has been shown to inhibit testosterone production in the testes.
4. Try Going Stress-Free
Stress is one of the biggest libido killers. Stress causes an increase the production of the hormone cortisol, which can suppress our sex hormones, leading to a lower sex drive. Not only that, but when you are stressed, you are in no mood to have sex. To help relieve stress, try things that can make you relax, like daily yoga and meditation to help you release tension in the body and slow the mind. And, have more sex, as more sex leads to less stress!
5. Work On The Quality Of Your Relationship
If you are not happy, comfortable and turned on in your relationship, you are probably not feeling very sexy about your partner either. Find ways to spice things up (sex toys, do something different, create excitement!), to bring the fire back to the bedroom. If you have serious relationship problems talk about them with your partner or seek a qualified counsellor.
6. Get 8-Hours Of Sleep
You may think surviving on less than 8 hours of sleep is alright, but sleep deprivation can cause a lot of issues for your sex drive. A new study found lack of sleep kills libido, associated with erectile dysfunction in men as well as arousal and orgasm issues in women. So, make sure to get adequate sleep so you can function normally.
7. Figure Out What You Like
Maybe you are not getting the kind of sex or pleasure your desire? Do you even know what turns you on? Spend quality time learning about yourself first before you go connect with others. Then you will be better able to tell your partner what you like when it comes to pleasure.
We hope these simple tips have helped you learn what things could be causing your libido to bomb. Try to focus on mental and physical health to ensure a healthy sex drive. If you’re like these tips about sex and relationships , then you should us check out Sex Diaries Project!
The way we define our sexuality is as unique as the way we define ourselves, and the key is to understand what all the various terms mean. What if you didn’t have the word “straight” in your vocabulary. What if the terms heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, et cetera, did not exist? One less topic of division and judgement. How different would you behave? We can all play a part in getting to a space where orientation, expression and presentation isn’t a trigger for anyone.
Photo by spl.ids.ag.uk
The Difference Between Sex and Gender
There’s a lot of information out there about sex and gender. And by sex, I don’t mean the various activities that could make up the act of sex. I mean the biological differences between males and females and the fact that gender is not the same thing. As a result, sex and gender are often confusing subjects for many. Sex refers to a person’s biological characteristics. While most people determine sex based on external genitalia, it also involves hormone ratios, chromosomal makeup and more. In other words, sex may not be as simple as you assume.
What is Intersex?
Since medical professionals often rely on external observations instead of internalized medicine or tests to assign sex categories, designated female at birth or assigned male at birth. The use of “intersex” is to designate individuals who, at birth, may not physically match the expected norms of male and female. Intersex individuals are as common as red heads. These assignments are based on a visual presence of a penis, clitoris, or a version of both.
Photo by Luan Lustosa from Pexels
What is Gender versus Gender Identity?
Gender, in contrast, is often used in reference to at least three factors: presentation, social roles and identity. If someone assigned as female at birth likes pink, for example, we associate pink as a “feminine” color and thus socially appropriate. If someone assigned as male likes pink, that individual may be bullied for liking a color associated with what the culture deems feminine. In this way, a person can use norms to present their gender to the world.
Gender identity, however, is invisible. It is the person’s idea of themselves. While it may be influenced by the society around them, it is often tested by questions like, “If there was no judgement, what would you want to look like?” Gender identity does not have to fit the presentation, social norms, or even the expectations of the person’s body. Someone can identify as a mix of genders, such as bigender, or feel they move between genders, such as gender fluid. They could even identify as having no gender at all, such as agender.
What is Transgender?
The term transgender, which is an adjective, is often used as an umbrella term to refer to people whose sex does not line up with their presentation and identity (among other characteristics, but naming just the two to help you get a basic understanding). For people whose sex, presentation, and identity line up, the term is cisgender. So, if you were born with a vulva and vagina, have always felt you were a girl or woman, and present yourself as such to society, you are considered a cis woman.
How to Ask About People’s Pronouns
So, although it may be human nature to be curious, being respectful means respecting people’s privacy. Do not ask people about their status or whether they plan to have surgery. Asking about their pronouns is OK. Also, give basic dignity and respect. If someone introduces themselves to you and says their name is Paula, but you had heard their name was Paul, this person is telling you their name is Paula. Just go with it. The only person who has the power to label you, is YOU!
LGBTQIA* Terms & Pronouns
So, let me share some general information about several terms the LGBTQIA* community uses which will make you a great ally. For starters, a binary system is something made up of two opposing parts. Gender (man/woman) and sex (male/female) are examples of binary systems.
Bisexual: A term that describes someone who is attracted to both men and women, or to more than one gender identity.
Gay: It is common for “gay” to be used by anyone who is attracted to their same sex or gender.
Gender Expression: How we express our gender identity on the outside.
Gender Identity: Our internal, personal sense of what our gender is. Everyone has a gender identity. You should also know the pronouns that can be used based on preference. They, Them, Theirs. He, Him, His. She, Her, Hers, Z. e, Hir, Hirs. Xe, Xem, Xyrs. Nothing. Yes, not choosing a pronoun is OK too.
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Hedonism is a philosophical teaching of pleasure as the main motive for human action. The name is based on the Greek word hédoné or pleasure. It is divided into two stages. The first is psychological hedonism, which is the view that humans are psychologically constructed in such a way that we exclusively desire pleasure. According to this theory, all actions are aimed at achieving pleasure and avoiding suffering.
In order to elevate sexual intercourse from a boring regular act to an experience that gives meaning to our lives, we need to cultivate and develop sexuality. Modern times offer countless opportunities to get to know your own body and find out what it does and doesn’t do well.
You’ll notice that the differences between a real woman and any sex doll for sale are scarce. That is, unless you prefer huge silicone boobs, tiny waists, and big asses. In this case, you’ll still find many sex dolls for sale with these unrealistic proportions. But don’t worry because their faces, skin and genitals will still be lifelike.
TPE is the preferred material of many sex doll manufacturers around the world. It’s sturdy but soft, as well as flexible and supple, allowing the talented artists to easily paint the fine details onto every sex doll for sale.
Advantages of a silicone sex doll for sale:
If you have further enquiries, or you’re interested in reading up on the world of sex dolls, check out the 
dolloro Benefits:
It has always been the assumption you have to be a model and actor/actress to have an online presence and attract a fan base, but that is not the case at all. In fact, the saying, everyone has a different cup of tea is very true in the adult industry as well. This saying stands true for my Swinger community members. In the past, I have been approached and told if I was more selective with my members I would have younger “prettier” members. Does younger and prettier mean that is what everyone desires? Does everyone want a Barbie and a Ken?
I wholeheartedly disagree with this assumption. Everyone is attracted to what they like. Maybe a certain hair color, eye color, tall, curvy, dark skin, light skin, so why pick a community based on just one appearance? The same goes with the adult industry, webcam performers, models, and content creators.
I really became intrigued when she shared with me in our initial email conversation that her shows are based on her scripts. She has over 30 characters she plays, my favorite was her teacher character. I do not want to give it away, as if you tune in to our interview on The Hankie Pankie Podcast, she will share her reasonings behind her brilliant marketing technique.
