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Scientific Study Reveals Size Of Average Schlong

By
Anka Radakovich
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Researchers polled over 15,000 men on the size of their poles and found that the average schlong is 5.16 inches long. That’s when it’s erect, and is only 3.6 inches long when flaccid. No wonder men lie about the size of their woodrows. The study, conducted by the unintentionally funny sounding BJU International, a medical journal specializing in urology,  is the most comprehensive study to date. The study’s title “Am I Normal?” wants to “reassure the large majority of men that the size of their penis is in the normal range,” says David Veale, who led the study.

The study measured men ages 17-91, with only 2.28 having abnormally small penises and the same percentage having super gigantic ones. The penises were measured “by a health professional.”

In my own personal “study,” I have found there are four sizes of penises: Small, Medium, Large, and “OMG you’re going to kill me with that thing.”

Rough Sex for the Nice Guy with Reid Mihalko

By
Miyoko
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I recently had the pleasure of interviewing Reid Mihalko, The Sex Geek for my show on Rough Sex!  While almost every woman who replied to my query about whether or not they liked rough sex replied with an emphatic “YES!!!”  there seemed to be just as many men who don’t know how to pull it off.

Thankfully, The Sex Geek was on hand and ready to save the day!  With practical advice and words of encouragement and enlightenment, everyone will gain the confidence to give it a whirl…. or a smack, pull, or choke. *wink, wink*

Here’s a sample of our discussion, but if you want the full interview and Reid’s tips on how to spank, pull hair, and choke your lover the right way, check out the free information on his website, or listen to the entire episode on Playboy Radio, Ep #39.

CJ4kwKUUsAAjRS8.jpg-large

The Lowdown On Lust, Love, Romance, Desire, Passion & Intimacy

By
Dr. Ava Cadell
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Love is easily one of the most complicated human experiences. It fully occupies our emotions, bodies and minds, and has many different incarnations. It can be confusing to navigate the world of human desire – from one-night-stands to committed relationships, nervous flirting to ‘comfort zone’ intimacy – and then there’s always the question of whether our partners feel the same way.

To alleviate some of the confusion, I’ve outlined some emotional and physical cues here to help you determine what you’re looking for or where your relationship is now. It’s related to my F.A.C.E.S. stages of relationships, which you can find in depth in my book Neuroloveology. Fascination, Adventure, Comfort, Energy & Success each come with their own unique cocktail of brain chemicals that give you a heady rush or a sense of deep bonding, depending on the stage.

Like Robert Sternberg’s “triangular theory of love,” which identifies Intimacy, Passion & Commitment as the three main components of love, it’s this interweaving of sexuality, emotional bonding and long-term attachment that make up a fully successful romantic relationship. However you label it, the main ingredients remain the same, and they govern our love lives. Read on to find out what’s happening to your emotions and your brain chemicals at each phase of love.

Romance is when –

  • You feel butterflies when you talk or see each other.
  • You want to do things to make each other happy.
  • You want to understand his or her mind and what makes it tick.
  • You want to spend as much time together as possible.
  • Your brain is reacting to pheromones, triggering attraction.

Desire is when –

  • You having a longing for another.
  • You want to experience a romantic and sexual journey together.
  • Your curiosity and erotic imagination for each other is fertile.
  • You can experience erotic connection together and separately.
  • Your body releases androgens (like testosterone) and / or estrogens, causing arousal to blossom.

Lust is when –

  • You have a longing for sex to fulfill your emotions.
  • You feel so horny you just want to get laid by someone.
  • You experience intense erotic fantasies with another.
  • Your ultimate goal is sexual satisfaction and fulfillment.
  • Your Desire ‘cocktail’ continues to arouse, adding in Nitric Oxide, which increases blood flow to the genitals.

Passion is when –

  • You intensely want someone physically and emotionally.
  • You create mystery and have confidence individually and together.
  • You have fun, laugh, and create surprises, novelty and playfulness.
  • You make love creatively and focus on each other’s pleasure.
  • Adrenaline is making you feel “madly in love.”

Intimacy is when –

  • You are comfortable sharing everything without any fear.
  • You show each other appreciation through words and actions.
  • You make a commitment to each other.
  • When your two hearts feel like one!
  • Your brain releases oxytocin, the bonding chemical.

Love is when –

  • You have a strong feeling of affection for another.
  • You want your beloved to express their love with words and actions.
  • Your partner brings out intimate communication, touching, kissing and spiritual connection within you.
  • You have the five ingredients of friendship, respect, trust, communication and passion for your love to last.
  • Your brain releases oxytocin (the bonding chemical) and vasopressin, the long-term commitment hormone.

It’s not rocket science, but it is scientific. Each stage of love delivers new sensations and experiences, and each one sparks a unique set of reactions in you and your partner. It’s all there for you to enjoy to the fullest.

I’m often asked about desire, what role it plays in relationships, and how to know what’s healthy on the spectrum of love, lust and intimacy. One quick exercise I give is to finish the sentences below, and then see for yourself if that fits your emotional and mental wellbeing. There are no wrong answers. I have filled in some possible responses to give you an idea of how to start.

I feel desirous when…

  • I love my body.
  • I feel confident.
  • I use my imagination.
  • When someone gives me compliments, etc.,

I turn off my desire when…

  • I don’t feel worthy to receive love or sexual pleasure.
  • When I feel judged, rejected or abandoned, etc.

Getting to know what you find sexy and what turns you on allows you to more easily find the partner that meets your sexual needs. And the best part is, you can create sentences like this about every stage of your relationship – from lust to intimacy – and create your unique love story and of course, happy ending!

7 Underwater Sex Questions Answered

By
Megan Harrison
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Photo by Anastasiya Vragova from Pexels

Many people find the concept of underwater sex to be exciting and it can certainly be a great way to show off your more adventurous side. 

However, regardless of whether you are thinking about sex in the shower or hot tub, or sex in a lake, or a swimming pool, there are things you need to consider and risks you need to be aware of!

In this Q&A piece, I’ll answer some of the most frequent questions people have asked regarding having sex in water. Let’s get right into the questions! 

Table of Contents

1) Is it possible to engage in penetration while submerged in water, or would it wash off (natural or store-bought) lubrication?

One of the single biggest misconceptions about underwater sex is the idea that because everyone involved is soaking wet, there is no need for lubrication. In actual fact, the water can wash away natural vaginal lubricant, resulting in dryness that can make sex difficult and painful. For this reason, it is important to buy artificial lubrication.

In general, lubricants and gels can be separated into two main types: water-based and silicone-based. Although water-based options are popular because they tend to be easier to clean up and less sticky, they are not ideal for underwater sex. Silicone-based lubricants, on the other hand, offer water-resistant qualities, making them a better choice.

2) What about in the shower – would penetration be easier to maneuver in terms of lubrication?

Shower sex can be significantly easier to navigate in terms of lubrication, because the body is not fully submerged in water. This can make penetrative sex easier and less painful without the use of artificial lubricants.

With that being said, the problem with the water from the shower potentially washing away the body’s natural vaginal lubrication may still persist. Therefore, even in the shower, it may still be necessary to purchase a silicone-based lubricant with water-resistant qualities and use this liberally to make penetration easier.

3) What sex acts CAN work in water?

If you are in the shower, you have a wide range of options available, from penetrative sex, to oral sex, and virtually anything else that can be performed standing up, or kneeling down. You will need to be careful in certain positions, as the water does increase the chances of slipping over, but your choices are fairly unrestricted!

For baths, hot tubs and pools, again, penetrative sex is relatively easy to perform, while the use of hands for non-penetrative stimulation is also simple enough. However, oral sex can be more difficult, as unlike in a shower, the water is not constantly draining. Therefore, you will need to think carefully about positioning.

In outdoor environments, such as oceans, lakes and similar bodies of water, options can be more restricted. Try to find a location where you are able to maintain sure footing. Avoid positions where one or both people need to have their head underwater for any length of time, as this introduces an unnecessary level of risk. Penetrative sex and the use of hands for stimulation and foreplay should both be possible. Oral sex may be more tricky in these environments.

You should also know that the use of sex toys is perfectly possible when having underwater sex. However, you need to be sensible about this. It’s crucial to invest in waterproof sex toys that are marketed for their ability to be used in baths, showers, pools, hot tubs, etc. Fortunately, most modern vibrating dildos and other toys are safe and functional for this type of use. 

4) Do condoms still work underwater?

Research on condom effectiveness underwater is still surprisingly limited. Nevertheless, there is no reliable evidence to suggest the effectiveness of latex-based condoms will be adversely affected by the presence of water alone. In general, if you are engaged in underwater sex, use of a latex-based condom is recommended.

With that being said, Durex suggests that there could be an increased risk of condom slippage. The company also speculated that although salt present in sea water should not impact upon the effectiveness of its condoms, it is possible that chemicals in swimming pools could, theoretically, reduce their overall effectiveness.

5) Does the chances of condoms tearing increase if you’re underwater?

There is no evidence that the presence of water alone increases the risk of a condom tearing, at least with conventional latex condoms. However, if you are having sex in a swimming pool, or in a hot tub with chlorine in the system, there is the potential that the durability of the condom could be compromised slightly.

It is important to stress that evidence of this effect is limited. Condom manufacturers are not required to test their products in underwater conditions with chlorine and other chemicals present and studies are few and far between. However, Durex and other brands have anecdotally implied that the risk of tearing could increase in these conditions.

6) Could chlorine and/or ocean or lake water potentially irritate the genitals or cause any sort of medical issue?

Unfortunately, the simple answer to this question is ‘yes’, especially for women. Chlorine can affect the pH balance of the vagina, making yeast infections more likely, while irritation, itching and vulvitis also become more likely. In pools, oceans and lakes, there is also the possibility of bacteria in the water causing issues. This may lead to urinary tract infections, or other less common infections, so you do need to be aware of this heightened risk.

For men, the chances of encountering issues are significantly lower, but the presence of bacteria in ocean or lake water can still lead to problems. Penile irritation is also possible in pools and hot tubs that contain chlorine. If you or your partner do experience irritation, it is best to stop immediately and reconsider your approach.

7) Are there any other considerations someone should have regarding sex in water?

It is important to remember that water-based sex of any kind will introduce some safety hazards, so you and your partner do need to take care. If you are having sex in the bath or shower, be aware of the potential for slipping and falling. 

Handrails can be one way to reduce the dangers in this particular area. If you are in a pool, lake or the sea, have respect for the water and remember that there is a drowning hazard that needs to be taken seriously.

The main other thing to be aware of is the law. While sex in a public place can be a turn-on, and while introducing water adds a whole extra element of fun, be mindful of legal issues that could arise if you are caught in the act. For similar reasons, you should also avoid having sex in someone else’s private swimming pool without permission.

Q & A With Creators Of “The Elator”

By
Dr. Ava Cadell
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At the Sexual Health Expo this year I met with a dynamic couple, Mark and Lisa Schneider, who have created a brand new device called The Elator. It’s so simple, yet it’s quite revolutionary because it’s completely natural and custom fit for every penis. The trick is, you need to measure your penis so that they can send you your individual custom-fit Elator. So you can’t lie about your size!

We connected at my seminar for Sex & Disabilities where they were interested in reaching out to men with issues like premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, prostate cancer recovery or men with spinal cord injuries who could all benefit from The Elator.

I’m happy to introduce them to my Sexpert audience because I’m a great believer that any product that help people have better sex is valuable and can lead to a happier life. I interviewed them to find out more information on why and how they came to create the Elator.

Lisa & Mark - Elator1. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED AND HOW DID YOU DECIDE TO START WORKING TOGETHER?

Mark and I just celebrated 9 very happy years of marriage on September 20th, 2015. We decided to work together because we both share the same passion of the desire to become young entrepreneurs. I had been working in Corporate America for years holding demanding management positions that honestly became unattractive after awhile.   After having two beautiful children together and in order to find a healthy balance in life we decided to go for it. Being that I have 20 years of experience with sales and marketing and Mark had 20 years of design and R & D experience, we felt that our skill sets highly complimented each other talents, which is an awesome formula for success.

2. HOW DID YOU BECOME INTERESTED IN SOLVING ISSUES WITH ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION?

Mark’s father has a condition called Venus Leakage which involves the valve that holds the blood in the penis. When one suffers from Venus, the blood flow becomes weak and therefore he had challenges with erectile frequency. Mark’s Father researched external penile support device and found answers among a group of inventors. These inventors were looking for successful individuals that would take their product to market. The device was intriguing for both Mark and for a few reasons; we both lead healthy, natural lifestyles and natural products appeal to us. Being a happily married couple with a healthy sex life, we felt the desire to help other couples that may not be as fortunate. We believe that all couples should be able to be intimate, even those with challenges with Erectile Dysfunction. We felt that it wasn’t fair that only unnatural solutions were available to those that suffered. It was then that we knew we wanted to help couples all around the world and present them with a natural solution., The Elator.

3. HOW IS THE ELATOR DIFFERENT FROM ALL THE OTHER ED PRODUCTS ON THE MARKET?

There is nothing like the Elator on the market. The Elator is an ultra thin but durable wearable support device. It’s basically a support splint that allows men to have intercourse without an erection. The Elator has no side effects, which is very different than what other ED products face.

  • For example, ED pills and prescription medications are highly ineffective in roughly 30% of men and have a long list of dangerous side effects.
  • The vacuum pump does not allow men to achieve a full erection and leaves their penis only 80%-90% engorged for a short period of time, depending if a clamp is used.
  • Injections and suppositories are not always effective and are very painful to administer
  • Surgery is very expensive, invasive and come with great risk with many possible complications.

4. WHAT ARE THE PROS AND CONS OF USING THE ELATOR?

Pros:

  • The Elator can be attached and ready for intercourse in less then 30 seconds
  • No reported side effects
  • Cost effective – A custom Elator is only $298.00 and allows for nearly 4 years of use
  • No risk of losing your erection
  • Allows you to have intercourse as long as you like even after ejaculation

Cons:

  • Measuring your penis can be tricky. Approximately 25% of the time it requires an additional shaft.
  • Initial investment may seem a bit expensive for some men because it is not yet covered by medical insurance.
  • The gentle sensation of the shaft may take some getting use to for both the man or woman

5. DO MEN NEED TO SHAVE?

It’s not required but some men choose to. The only area that could pinch or pull hair is where the back of the Elator attaches to the base ring.

6. HOW LONG CAN IT STAY ON?

As long as the man or woman is physically capable.

7. HOW CAN A WOMAN INTRODUCE THE ELATOR TO HER PARTNER WHOM SHE THINKS MIGHT BENEFIT FROM IT?

A woman may introduce the Elator to her partner as a simple and effective natural solution that has been especially designed for a healthy sex life. It can be encouraged for a simple way to have intercourse never like before. One that will increase intimacy within a relationship. It can also be positioned for those moments where by erectile frequency may be a challenge. Just by keeping in the night stand drawers helps the confidence levels to know that its there, just in case.

8. HOW CAN A GUY LET A NEW PARTNER KNOW THAT HE’S GOING TO USE THE DEVICE?

Communication is critical in any relationship. It is important for the man to share his feelings as to how important intimacy is when in a relationship. It is essential to include your partner when discussing options for ED treatment and possible ED solutions. Communication about ED may be uncomfortable, however it plays a significant part to relieve unwanted stress. Resilient communication creates a strong bond within a relationship for those struggling with erectile dysfunction. With each conversation, those involved may experience unexpected highs and lows. It is critical to have a loving, compassionate partner to be patient and supportive through the process. Physical connection is essential in any healthy relationship and this connection should be your end goal no matter what obstacles are involved. It is imperative to unite and agree that you are in this together and together you will prevail with the device.

9. WHAT’S THE NUMBER ONE QUESTION MEN ASK ABOUT THE ELATOR?

How do I measure my penis? We have an online video on YouTube which addresses this question. https://youtu.be/AokWVYxpzY4

Will it hurt my partner? No, it will not hurt my partner. In addition, it is made with medical grade silicon which is safe for woman.

10. WHAT ARE THE REACTIONS OF WOMEN WHOSE PARTNERS USE IT? CAN THEY FEEL IT DURING PENETRATION? 

Our feed back has been consistent. Women say they don’t feel the front loop because it is gently tucked behind the head of the penis. Woman have reported they slightly feel the support bars on the bottom but it is not painful or uncomfortable. In some instances it actually feels like an erect penis.

11. WHERE IS THE ELATOR AVAILABLE?

The device is available worldwide. Due to its custom nature we ship everything from San Diego, California.

12. DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER PRODUCTS IN THE WORKS?

We are working on vibrating attachment to the base ring.

Read more in the USA today panel of experts by Mark Schneider.

Need A Libido Boost? These Women Over 40 Have Some Great Ideas

By
Carrie Borzillo
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*Photos by IconicPinups.com

You know that old saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks?” Well, these eight women flash some serious side-eye to that sentiment by trying something new, past the age of 40, that transformed their sex lives forever. Here are their suggestions, so take notes!

Try Tantric Sex

Tantric Sex is not all about having sex for hours on end as rock star Sting once boasted. It actually includes realistic practices that can help sex last longer. “My boyfriend and I learned the tantric  ‘Breath of Fire’ in which he breathes very fast through his nose to delay his climax. To feel more sensation during the Big O, we growled like tigers to tap into our primal nature. Sounds silly, but it totally worked!” explains Caroline, 51.

Take Sexy Selfies – For Yourself!

For Lisa, 46, taking sexy photos of (and for!) herself gave her a whole new sense of self… and sexiness! “I gained a lot of weight and my self-confidence was down. So I started taking photos of myself for fun. With my digital camera, I was able to control the angle, the lighting, and use a filter and I liked what I saw. I gave me my confidence back. I don’t apologize for my size anymore and I feel more confidence in life and the bedroom,” she says.

Embrace Your Inner Goddess With Buti Yoga

BUTI instructor Karen Resulto of One Down Dog (www.onedowndog.com) in L.A. in “Goddess” Pose. Photo by Rachel Madrigal

If you want to feel like a warrior princess, a goddess, and a sex kitten all in one hour, then try BUTI yoga. That’s how Carrie, 47, describes this unique yoga practice that combines shakti (the female principle of divine energy) awakening power yoga, primal movements, and tribal dance with a bit of twerking, belly dancing, and exotic dance moves. “When I get out of BUTI class, I want to have sex. I feel sexy, strong, powerful and very fired up. It awakens the goddess in me!” she says.

 

 

Take a Burlesque Class

Burlesque, a form of striptease that dates back to the 1800s, helps women learn how to tease and seduce in a classy way using vaudeville-style props and cheekiness. (Pun intended!) “My friend told me it was very empowering, so I gave it a shot. I would practice my routine for my boyfriend after class and we both loved it. I would never dance for a guy like that before, but this class was a real confidence-builder and it spiced up the relationship big time,” says Janie, 47.

Book A Boudoir Photo Shoot

Photo courtesy of IconicPinups.com

Why should models have all the fun? Photo studios, like Iconic Pinups in L.A., offer Pinup Girl and Boudoir photo shoots to help women tap into their inner pinup model or vixen. ” It brought back the va-va-voom in me! I gave a book of my Iconic Pinup photos to my boyfriend as a gift and it reminded us of our desire for each other. I felt sexier and when you feel sexy, the sex is better!” says Shari, 54.

Sext Your Partner

A recent study reported that 80% of adults have sexted. Have you? Sending sexy photos and/or messages is a great way to add some spice into any relationship. Just ask Alexa, 47. “I’ll sext my boyfriend all day and by the time I get home, we’re just ready for each other. When you’re flirting all day, you feel hornier at night. It’s also a great way to ask for what you want sexually without having the awkward conversation in person,” she says.

Smoke Some Weed

Guess what? Cannabis is now an aphrodisiac. Many sativa strains are blended specifically to increase the libido. “I smoked for the first time in about 20 years and it opened doors for me sexually. I had an absolute sexual awakening with weed. It helped me let go of insecurities and made me feel freer. I walk around naked now… and I’m crazier in bed. And, that feeling has stayed with me even when I’m not smoking weed,” says Jennifer, 49.

Read Erotica

If reading is to the mind what exercise is the to the body, then reading erotica is to the female libido what Viagra is for men with erectile dysfunction! “I didn’t realize how not in touch with my sexuality I was until I started reading erotica late one night. It woke me up, and taught me a lot. I learned to use my voice in bed, which was a liberating lesson for me and made it hot for my lover,” says Kate, 49.

12 Secrets to Sizzling Hot Sex

By
Dr. Ava Cadell
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Photo by murat esibatir from Pexels

Sex is the Question?

The purpose and meaning of sex has intrigued and mystified us through the ages. Various societies have wrestled with or “coped” with the power of sex in myriad ways. Far Eastern cultures regarded sex as a mystical ritual to achieve union with God. On the other hand, the decline of the Roman Empire was preceded by sexual debasement and demoralization – a complete dissociation from spirituality. Some Middle Eastern and Victorian British and American traditions have hidden sex in the closet and underneath untold yards of unnecessary clothing. Many ancient African mores perceived sex as a rite-of-passage into adulthood, a mating ritual. Some societies go around it, some view it as a “problem” and pass it on down to the next generation to deal with, and a few revel in its glory and ecstasy.

What sex is?

Sex is a precious gift to someone who is worthy to receive it. Our sexual gifts are as valuable as any other part of ourselves that we prize. Selecting the right sexual partner to give to, and receiving from the right partner, is as important a decision as choosing anything you place a high value upon. Sex has many beautiful qualities that we are coming to appreciate.

In this era of “natural ingredients”, sex is a natural “high”, perhaps even the best of nature’s uplifts. It can energize us and make us feel more creative afterward. Sex is a wonderful form of self-expression, infinitely artistic. We don’t often think
about this, but sex is an affirmation of self-confidence and self-love.

And sex can heal. Sex can renew stamina, not deplete it. It can free us from emotional wounds that have been buried deep in our body tissues, much like the experience of “Rolfing”, only sex is unforced. (Rolfing became popular about 20 years ago as a deep-tissue massage therapy. It releases painful emotions that have become lodged in the muscles and caused stiffness from tension.)

Sex has so many forms of expression. It is both beautiful and erotic. It is gentle and assertive. It is relaxing and energizing. But most of all, it is a unique connection to all of life – it is spiritual, mental, emotional, physical. Sex is truly a divine pleasure.

What sex is not

It is equally important in defining sex to weed out what doesn’t belong in its repertoire of images. Because “sex sells” in the marketplace and in the advertisements that bombard us daily, we are prone to confuse sex with many things which it is not. And we are equally apt to confuse sex with its ignorant definitions of the past which kept us from its hidden pleasures.

  • First and foremost, sex is not a sin. It didn’t make it to the Top 10 commandments, so it must be okay! Besides, how could anything that creates new life be an affront to God, when life is God-given.
  • Sex is also not dirty; it is not something of which to be ashamed, like leprosy. And it is not unhealthy as long as proper protection is used.
  • Sex won’t make you go blind or go crazy. In fact, sexual fitness can improve your health, not take away from it.
  • Sex is not perverted or unnatural. Love-making between consenting adults is their private matter, and as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, it does not defy the laws of nature.
  • Sex is not to be misused as a weapon. Withholding sex to punish a partner is a sign of poor communication and stored-up anger; and it does not give power to the “with-holder”. To the other extreme, forcing one’s self sexually on another person is a sign of inadequacy, not power or real strength.
  • Sex is not a healthy addiction. A sexual addiction or compulsion is an escape from love.
  • Sex is also not a sport; it is not merely a form of exercise. It is a body function, yes, but its many pleasures are not achieved by experiencing a body part. Besides, using sex as an impersonal exercise is ultimately not fulfilling, either sexually or emotionally.
  • Sex is not just intercourse or oral copulation; as we know about anything in life, “the journey is as important as the destination”. Sex is not love, but is often confused with love. How many times have you heard someone say in jest “I’m in lust!”. It isn’t as funny as the joke is meant to be. Is such a person afraid to go the next step and fall in love? Commitment makes the sex grow deeper, but having sex for its own sake is not everlasting love.

12 Steps to Great Sex

Number One – Flirt.

Flirting is an art which instills sexual confidence. It can be a subtle glance or a purposeful squeeze, but the goal of flirting is to set the stage for romance and create sexual anticipation.

Number Two – Kiss.

Make kissing a ritual at least twice a day for 12 seconds in the morning and at night and kiss your lover passionately.

Number Three – Communicate.

When communication is great, the sex is great too. Don’t neglect to tell your partner all
the things you love most about him/her. Express your appreciation for each other physically, intellectually and emotionally. Exchange a wish list of three things that you think may heighten a sexual experience for you.

Number Four – Stimulate All 5 Senses.

If you don’t use just one of your five senses during lovemaking, you are missing out on 20% of pleasure. Take the time to prepare something to enhance each one of your senses prior to lovemaking. Surprise your taste buds with honey; turn a simple room into a romantic one with candlelight; play music that will get you and your lover in the mood for love; use a variety of lotions and oils to massage your lover slowly and sensuously; and finally, the sense of smell has been proven to be the basis for sexual attraction. You can wear your lover’s favorite fragrance or adorn your room with scented candles, incense or flowers.

Number Five – Discover Erogenous Zones.

The best way to find your lover’s erogenous zones is to caress and kiss your lucky lover from head to toe, moving only half an inch at a time. Don’t leave any area unmapped. Ask for your lover to rate his or her erogenous zones on a pleasure scale from 1 to 10. Now, it’s time to trade places.

Number Six – Synchronized Breathing.

When you are sexually excited, your breathing increases. Breathe in the essence of
life and synchronized breathing is truly a sense of unity. As one person breathes in, the other person breathes out. This “meditation” can prepare a couple for the sexual journey ahead.

Number Seven – Share Erotica.

Any form of erotica including videos, literature or magazines can provide a therapeutic
value to couples wanting to learn more about sex. So whether you enjoy the bawdy tales of Lady Chatterly’s Lover or the erotica of Playboy, sharing fantasies can embolden your love life or reenergize a stale relationship by adding sizzle and spice.

Number Eight – Oral Delights.

First, we’ll talk about fellatio, the sucking of the man’s penis and most men will agree that,
as a means to getting or restarting an erection, it is unparalleled. Cunnilingus, the art of kissing a woman’s clitoris and vulva (visible external part of the vagina) is one of the most effective ways to bring a woman to climax.

Number Nine – Love Toys.

You don’t have to go outside your home to have a wide choice of love toys. Regular
household items can be a great substitute. If you blindfold your partner with a scarf and comb a pasta spoon through his/her hair, it may feel like long, sensual fingernails. A gentle tap with a spatula or wooden spoon might be just what your partner desires. Don’t forget to experiment with food!

Number Ten – Discover Her G-Spot.

It is a fact that 78% of women do not explore the inside of their own bodies, yet the G-spot (I like to call it the Goddess Spot), located approximately 2 inches inside the opening to the vagina can bring about a longer, deeper, more powerful orgasm than a clitoral orgasm.

Number Eleven – Discover His H-Spot.

Men also have a Hot-Spot, although I prefer to refer to it as the Hero-Spot which is the prostate gland. Some men say that their “H” spot is just a knuckle inside the anus and it can be effectively stimulated by the partner’s insertion of her finger in a “come hither” motion.

Number Twelve – Make Love in Different Positions.

Don’t always make love in the same position, in the same place, at the same time because that’s predictable. Make love standing up, side-by-side, woman-on-top, missionary or doggie-style. Do it in the bathroom, on the dining room table, over the kitchen sink, on the tumble dryer or on the staircase.

Embarrassed To Buy Condoms? Safer Sex, Delivered

By
Carrie Borzillo
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Is anyone really embarrassed to buy condoms at the store anymore? Apparently so. If you search Google for “too embarrassed to buy condoms” 1.76 million results appear. You’ll find countless articles titled along the lines of “How To Buy Condoms Discreetly” or “10 Things More Embarrassing Than Buying Condoms,” and terrified teens tearing up the message boards on Reddit and Yahoo! Answers with cries for help like “I’m too embarrassed to buy condoms. Help!”

Embarrassed cartoon face

Here’s a thought, kiddos: Buy them on Amazon! Or… have a little more fun with your online shopping and subscribe to CupidQuiver, a monthly condom subscription service (like Birchbox for beauty products, BarkBox for doggie goods, or HelloFresh for recipes, this is a box for sex) that delivers you condoms before you need them. What CupidQuiver offers that Amazon doesn’t are fun little extras like free lubes, little role play cards, sexy tips on using lube, and/or other miscellaneous product they decide to throw in for fun.

“Remember the Saturday Night Live skit, D**k in a Box? We like to think of ourselves as Sex in a Box,” quips Todd Harris, President of CupidQuiver, which launched in mid-March.

But in all seriousness, the beauty of what CupidQuiver provides is that they reliably deliver what you need before you need it. “The goal for our clients is to have fun, safely, and to always be prepared. Nothing is worse than getting intimate only to realize you are out of protection! Remembering condoms after-the-fact is not ideal,” says Harris.

Here’s how it works: You choose the type of ID Condoms condom that you want: Studded, Extra Thin, Extra Large, or Superior Feel Lubricated. Then you choose your package: No Strings Attached (1 condom for $1 plus $2 shipping and handling), Friends with Benefits (3 condoms for $5), Singles Mingle (6 condoms plus 1 ID lube for $7), or Lucky You (10 condoms plus 1 lube for $10). The latter three packages include shipping and handling. And, you can easily change your subscription based on how fast or slow your sex life is moving.

Harris tells Sexpert.com that they are shooting for a late-July launch of curated “Fun Boxes.” “They will include sex toys, more tips, and other bedroom goodies,” he says.

CQ Mailer

How To Share Your Kink: Communication Tips

By
Laura Halliday
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Most of us look for ways to improve our sex lives, even if we’re generally happy with whatever we have going on. Discovering a new kink or fetish often leads to a desire to bring that into your bedroom, but getting what you want can seem difficult. Many couples enjoy a healthy and active sex life but they rarely – if ever – actually discuss their sex lives with each other. So when one partner wants something new, it seems like an impossible task to introduce the idea to the other person.

But getting what you want in bed isn’t really that difficult. These five steps will take you through the process and ease you into introducing the topic to your partner and developing a healthy foundation for your sexual future.

Know What You Want

In many cases, a person will know what they want. Maybe they want to try spanking or having their partner blindfold them. Specific acts are easy to pin down, but sometimes things are a bit trickier. Sometimes a person knows what they want the end result to be, even if they’re not sure how to get there. A woman might see a video on female ejaculation (also known as squirting) and want to try achieving that kind of orgasm. But squirting isn’t something that comes easy to most women and there are very specific sexual techniques partners need to use in order to achieve that goal.

Explore Your Kink On Your Own First

Whatever your kink or sexual goal, do a little research on your own before bringing it up to your partner. This means checking out movies, books, erotic fiction and shopping around for the accessories or supplies you’ll need. Exploring the kink or fetish a bit on your own will make it easier to talk about with your partner. This will also make it easier to speak with confidence and get past any initial awkwardness.

Ask Instead of Ordering

People respond better to being asked something rather than having a demand levied. Don’t tell your partner what you two will be trying out, ask them how they feel about the kink. Share your own interests, listen to what they have to say and encourage each other to have a deep and meaningful conversation about the topic. If you’re interested in trying out different forms of BDSM, discuss how much you’re willing to give or receive along with how comfortable your partner is. Don’t demand the whole nine yards right away – ask your partner about his or her comfort level and use that as a starting point.

Lose Your Inhibitions

Being open and communicating what you want from sex isn’t the time to beat around the bush or speak in riddles. Be frank and up front about what you want before and during sex. Don’t hold back to ask your partner to squeeze more, pinch tighter or change the level of intensity. At the same time, don’t hold back when it comes to telling your partner how good something make you feel. The more information you share with your partner, the better they’ll be able to please you – and the more likely they’ll be to communicate with you.

Stay Open to Spontaneity

Exploring a fetish or new kink means following some sort of plan since you’ve done your research and have things you want to try. But don’t let that process prevent you from being spontaneous with your partner. If you’ve been playing around with pegging and he wants to throw some light whipping into the mix, give it a try if it’s within your comfort levels. There’s no wrong way to explore sexuality with your partner, so don’t be afraid to mix things up and try different combinations. It will keep your sex life interesting, encourage communication between the two of you and will make it easier for you both to have the best sex of your lives.

Digital Indiscretions – Part One: Connection

By
Dr. Ebony Utley
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Digital Indiscretions is a three part series on infidelity in the age of technology. The series is based on Dr. Ebony Utley’s interviews with U.S. women about their experiences with infidelity. Interviewees chose their own pseudonyms to protect their privacy.

It is easier to connect with people in the age of technology. We manage relationships by phone, text, video chats, social media, and social haptic networks. Not even physical touch is out of our reach.

Fundawear, for example, is underwear designed by Durex that “allows touch to be transferred over the Internet.” Frixion allows partners to stimulate each other no matter their distance. Geography is no longer a reason to reject a potential relationship. However, the same technologies that bring two people closer can also bring a third person into the relationship, and with it, the potential for indiscretion.

Interviewees recounted several stories of their partners’ digital indiscretions. Dawn’s husband initiated “an inappropriate Facebook/phone affair” with a woman he knew thirty years ago in high school. Other husbands had profiles on PlentyOfFish.com and AshleyMadison.com. India’s husband met his second wife on MySpace while he was still married to India.

Women also initiated online relationships. The possibility that Charlotte would leave her husband became even more certain after she reconnected with a friend on Facebook who is now her fiancé. Ebony decided her husband’s affair was no reason to break up their family. She admitted to being unhappy until she discovered the computer herself.

“So my niece turns me on to the computer. Mind you I don’t know nothing about a computer. She tells me, ‘Auntie you oughta see on this computer. You can go on these sites and you can do this and you can do that.’ So one day I go over to her house and I’m looking at her computer and they have this site called Unhappily Married. I’m like, ‘Oh, ok.’ So she shows me how the thing goes and we’re doing it. And I’m like, ‘Aahh, this is fun.’ I’m just enjoying it. So, next thing you know, I want a computer.”

Even after being caught by her husband, Ebony changed her screen name and was back in the online dating and cybersex game. The world of digital relationships is so compelling that even someone not ordinarily inclined to wander gets seduced by the intimacy of online connections.

Then there is the question of artificial intelligence. None of the interviewees in this study mentioned a robot as the third party in a digital indiscretion, but the possibility may be moving closer to reality.

The U.S. version of Humans is the story of synthetics who are not sentient but their communication with and care for their human owners make them indispensable. In season one episode four, primary user, Joe Hawkins has sex with his synthetic Anita. His daughter discovers the synth has been on “adult mode” and eventually Joe confesses to his wife who is outraged that he had sex with their children’s caretaker. Joe suggests it wasn’t infidelity, but more like having sex with a toy.

Joe’s defense raises important questions. Is sex with a synth a digital indiscretion? Would simply sharing feelings with a synth count as an emotional affair? How much connection is too much connection? How would you feel if your partner had sex with a robot and kept it from you?

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