Monday, September 23, 2019
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Anka Radakovich

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Anka Radakovich is a legendary Sex Columnist, Certified Sexologist, Sex Therapist, Sex Educator, Screenwriter, and Author of the new book THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, PART 2, Tales from New York to Hollywood. THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, Part 2 is her third book. Her first two books, The Wild Girls Club; Tales from below the Belt, and Sexplorations; Journeys to the Erogenous Frontier were both published by Crown/Random House. She was the Sex Columnist for DETAILS Magazine for 9 years and is currently a Sex Columnist for BRITISH GQ and writes the weekly "Ask Anka"/"Sexual Healing" column for Brides.com. Her writing has appeared in dozens of magazines including Marie Claire, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Harper’s Bazaar, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Men's Journal, Seventeen, Glamour, and Maxim. She has appeared on numerous television shows including 8 appearances with Conan O’Brien. She was a Jeopardy question under the category “Men’s Mags.” As a Sex Educator and Sexologist, she is a college lecturer at Universities throughout the country who offers her unique brand of sex education. Follow her on Twitter @ankarad.

Sexpert.com Nominated for Altporn.net Award

Sexpert.com has been nominated for an Altporn.net award! Yay! The site, launched over two years by sexy Sexologist Dr. Ava Cadell, was nominated in the category “Best Free AltPorn Site That Isn’t Altporn.net.”

Sexpert.com focuses on sex advice, sex news, female, LGBT, and sexual empowerment of all humans, regardless of whether they have a penis or not. So we are happy to be included in any award that has the word “alt” in it. We are also honored to be in the same company as fun sex sites including Fleshbot, Sugarcookie, Candy.Adult, FreeOnes, InkedAngels, and SexyFandom.

You can vote for us here, and we’d really appreciate your sexy support!


Greetings From The AVN Awards, The “Oscars of Porn.”

 The AVN Awards rocked the stage at The Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas, proving that porn is alive and well, and as big (and hard) as ever. The awards sold out, thousands of people around the world watched the live streamed ceremony, and the AVN expo over the weekend was packed and throbbing.

The show kicked off with Cardi B performing and porn stars Romi Rain and Bailey Rayne making XXX-rated sex jokes with comedian Esther Ku. The awards continue to give out “only in porn” awards such as “Best Group Sex Scene” (and yes, everyone in the “group” got a trophy) to “Most Clever Title”, which went to “Hamiltoe.”

My personal favorite of the year, which won “Movie of the Year” and “Best Action/Thriller”, The Possession of Mrs. Hyde, went to director Axel Braun, for his Hitchcock-like, porn version of Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde. He wrote the script with his father Lasse Braun, a porn pioneer from the “Golden Age of Porn”, and his son Rikki Braun, a young filmmaker. It won for “Best Boy/Girl Sex Scene” with the smokin’ Ramon Nomar and Avi Love, as well as “Best Screenplay” and “Best Director-Feature.” Movies like these are great for couples to watch and feature hot porn guys going down on the ladies, which women say is the number one activity they want to watch in porn.

Above: Porn dudes are hotties. From left, winner of “best male actor” Seth Gamble, director Rikki Braun, his father director Axel Braun, (the most famous porn director on the planet right now), and porn star Ramon Nomar.

Porn star turned director Kayden Kross won “Director of the Year” while porn star Angela White won “Best Female performer” and “Most Spectacular Boobs.” A no-shame, “relax, it’s the porn awards” attitude prevailed at the ceremony, with award winners not taking themselves too seriously. Porn star Charlotte Stokely dedicated her award “to the pussy”, while jumping up and down. Only at the “Oscars of Porn.”

Should You Get A New Pet With The Person You Are In A Relationship With?

One thing  divorce attorneys reveal is that the question of “who gets the dog?” is as stressful as who gets the house. But what if you are in the beginning stages of a relationship, or you are living with someone, are engaged, or are married? Should you get a new dog with your boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, lover, or spouse?

Maria Sullivan, dating expert and VP of dating.com, has already thought about it and offers “Four Things to Consider Before Getting a Pet with your Significant Other.” There are so many variants on “lover” these days, that nobody knows what to call the person they are in a relationship with, since there are so many people, including straight people, who call their lovers “partners”, and so many unmarried people calling their partners baby mamas and baby daddies, the new dating trend.

According to Sullivan, here are some things you should know about your partner and your relationship before you get a pet:

— “It is important to get a temperature check on your relationship,” Sullivan says, “and align on what the future looks like for you and your partner. For example, you don’t want to get a pet with someone who is not committed and fully on board with the idea–or is having doubts about your relationship.”

Seriously, the last thing you want to do is commit to getting a dog with someone who is supposed to be your boyfriend or girlfriend, and they are secretly texting someone else, like a dog.

— “It’s easy to underestimate how expensive pets are. They require food, toys, vet care, grooming, and more. It is very important to understand if you and your partner can handle the financial responsibility that comes along with getting a pet.”

Having a dog is expensive, especially when they get sick and the vet tells you it will be $3,000 for the leg operation. I have one girlfriend whose boyfriend wanted to share a dog with her, but I told her to break up with him after he put in a Venmo request for her to pay for the last date they had. The tackiest, most anti-romantic dating trend ever.

— “A red flag to look out for,” says Sullivan, is that the partner “doesn’t take care of themselves. If your partner can’t take care of themselves, there is no way they will be able to look after a pet, too.”

A red flag is when your partner is too lazy to do household chores. If he won’t take out the garbage, he won’t walk the dog. Just get your own if you want one, I say.

— “But don’t let not living together stop you from sharing a pet together,” Sullivan says. A lot of people say that getting a pet before moving in together can potentially put extra stress on the relationship. However, getting a pet shows signs of commitment and stability” she says. It can sometimes benefit your relationship and prepare you for what is to come in the near future.”

Getting a pet together can be romantic if you like dogs and lets you practice being a parent by being a dog mommy or daddy.

— And finally, “Create a backup plan in case your relationship goes south,” Sullivan says. “No matter what the circumstance, having a fall-back plan is always recommended. Discussing how you and your partner would split responsibilities and custody over your pet if you broke up should be discussed” she says. Obviously, while you might never think you and your partner will break up, never say never.”

In the meantime, it’s kind of fun to have a dog together. Just don’t let the dog sleep in the same bed with you.

Photo by leisergu at Wikimediacommons

What Women Want (And Don’t Want) For Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is the one holiday of the year that most women love and most men hate. Men hate it because they aren’t sure what is expected, they have no idea what to give, and they feel pressured to perform on this “manufactured” holiday. Of course I am generalizing, as I had an ex-boyfriend who loved it, but generally it is considered somewhat of a stressful holiday. But it doesn’t have to be. Its supposed to be romantic, and fun!

First, lets talk about what women don’t want. If you are a woman, please tell any men you know about this.

1.) One rose. Omg, whatever you do, don’t give us one freakin’ rose. We hate that. I know, if you are a teenage boy and that’s all you can afford, at least you are trying to be romantic, but if you are older than 17, one rose makes you look like a total cheapskate. At least throw another one or two roses in there. On previous Valentine’s Days, I have seen more than one guy walking down the street in NYC, happily carrying the “one rose”, and have always wanted to stop and tell them to buy a couple more. And when I see couples walking down the street with one, I always think “She got the one rose.”

2.) Lingerie. I know, lingerie is the sexiest thing ever. We like to wear it and it makes up feel super sexy, but every time a guy buys me lingerie it’s too small and my C-cup bazoombas are spilling over the B-cup bra like a cheap hooker, and the thong is so tight that it cuts off the circulation in my lady business. A better alternative is a gift card to Victoria’s Secret, Frederick’s of Hollywood, or any other store that sells sexy lingerie. That way we can buy our own and surprise you. Or better yet, you can come with to the store, and you get to pick out the sexy stuff you dream of seeing us wearing.

3.) Another great alternative is a soft, silky, sexy robe, (as opposed to the frumpy “ugly” robe women secretly wear in private that would give any man a “hard off”). Any woman would love a beautiful lace or satin robe. They are great for keeping warm and snuggling post-doing it, and good for that cold walk to the bathroom after all that amazing sex.

4.) More things not to give us include chocolate or candy, as we are either on the Keto diet or doing CrossFit and we’re trying to starve ourselves so we look hot so someone will sleep with us.

5.) And what gifts do we want? One word: jewelry. Ask any woman and she’ll say jewelry. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just something that reminds us of you. Okay, we’ll like it way more if it’s expensive.

6.) And finally, if you have no idea what to get her, give her the gift of pleasure. There are new vibrators on the market that suck her “little lady in the boat” (in a good way) as well as work her up to an orgasm, like the gorgeous white gold Womanizer. Satisfyer has a groovy 70’s inspired “flower power” vibe with sucking action, and Lelo has some of the most well designed sex toys in the world, including couples toys. She’ll love you for it, and thank you for not giving her “the one rose.”

Photo of Valentine’s Tree by John Tex, Wikimedia Commons

The Most Pulsating Porn Trends For 2019

Porn site xHamster just released their “official xHamster 2019 trend report”, to see what porn people around the world are secretly watching. Although the identities of porn watchers are kept a secret, what they are watching is not. So don’t worry, nobody will know you are love watching orgy or clown porn. 

xHamster asked “What’s coming in for for 2019? We looked at several years worth of data, from traffic to searches, to identity, what’s growing (and what’s shrinking) for porn users in the year ahead.”

And what are the top  trends? Women are watching porn more than ever, censorship in countries like China are driving porn use down, and millennials are willing to pay for more professionally made porn. Oh, and women want more cunnilingus. Duh. 

In the category of “trends that are growing”, the data revealed that a 41.9% increase in visits by women, an 8.1% increase in visits by gay folks, a 4.6% increase from bi-sexuals, a 5% increase by trans people, and a 3.53% increase for people over 65, which explains the increased interest in “granny porn.” #dirtygrampa. 

In “trends that are growing” there was a 14.1% decrease in search for redheads, (which wouldn’t include me personally, because I like gingers, but that’s just me.) There was also a 14.81% decrease in visits from people 18-24, which might be explained by the fact this this age group has watched porn since they were 12. There was also a 43.8% decrease in searches for sex dolls, well, because they are just plain creepy. 

The question “What do women want?” was answered by the #1 top search by women, which was “cunnilingus.” # 2 was “vibrators”, and #3 was “eating pussy.” (sex tips for guys: #4 was “fingering”.)

I asked xHamster Vice-President Alex Hawkins what the difference was between “cunnilingus” and “eating pussy”, and he said “In reality there is no difference, but both are separate categories/tags on xHamster because not everyone uses the same terminology. But cunnilingus, in addition to skewing more female, also skews slightly older, and to those for whom English is a first language.” So there you have it, data proves that the most popular sexual activity in the world, no matter what you call it, is “lickin’ the lady business.”

Illustrations courtesy of xhamster.com. Check out the trend report results on their blog here. 

The Biggest Trends for 2019: 
● Women expected to reach 30% of users worldwide
● Censorship already causing major declines
● Millennials driving pay-for-porn revival
● Barcelona becoming porn industry’s newest HQ
● Studios, brands fall as diversity rises

 

January Is The Year’s Most Throbbing Month For Online Dating

Its that time again; the first of the year when people realize they aren’t getting laid nearly enough. For single people, January is going to be the biggest day in dating according to industry experts, with many predicting a 70% increase in users.

Melissa Hobley, CMO/Chief Marketing Officer/Sexy Boss Lady of OKcupid told us that the dating site now has over 60 million users, so out of all those people there has to be one person you can stand.

So what make OKcupid different from the other dating sites? Having things in common, she says. “We believe in matching on what matters, whether its politics, or Game of Thrones.” The questions on the site “help determine deal breakers and deal makers,” allowing you to find better dates,” she says. “January is truly the best time. We see a huge surge in great people looking for love this time of year–people who care about what you care about.” And its true, the more stuff you have in common with someone, the more time you spend getting along with them, then getting it on with them.

Here are some dating tips from OKCupid, based on their user’s statistics and feedback:

  • Saying “hey” in a first message is almost equivalent to saying nothing — this greeting has an 84% chance of being completely ignored.

  • Photos that include animals are 3x more likely to get attention.

  • Women are 2.5x more likely to get a response than men if they initiate the conversation.

  • 5pm is the the time of day most users are on.

  • Increase your likes by up to 3x when you log in everyday.

  • Sunday is the most successful day to plan dates for the week.

  • Many apps make your profile dormant if you don’t go on for more than two weeks, meaning they stop showing you people.

Dating Profile Tips:

  • Update, Update, Update!

    • An estimated 1 in 3 dating app users don’t update their dating app profile once they put it up — but if you add a new photo or a new story, most dating apps treat you like a new person and the algorithm kicks into gear, showing you to MORE people.

  • Upload a variety of photos (more than just selfies.)

    • Share photos that show what makes you, you- whether that’s volunteering, running marathons or hanging out with friends.

    • Here’s the secret — you want to make it easy for that other person out there to reach out about the photo and say “I went to New Zealand last month too and loved it! Did you go to Wellington?”

  • Show don’t tell.

    • Instead of describing yourself with a long list of adjectives, talk about the things you love and enjoy doing. If you love dogs; show a picture with you and Fido in the park; if you’re an adrenaline junkie, mention the time you went skydiving; if you’re funny describe the time you made everyone laugh with your maid of honor toast.

    • OkCupid’s essays are a perfect place to show potential matches these aspects of yourself.

  • Answer questions.

    • The more OkCupid questions you answer, the more accurate your matches will be.

    • Plus, you’ll learn a lot more about yourself and what you’re looking for in the process.

  • Put time and energy into it.

    • We hear from thousands of people — “oh it’s so hard, I never find anyone!” And then when asked how much time and effort they put into it their profiles, it’s 5 minutes a week! Dating is FUN! But don’t forget you get out of it what you put into it, so put some love into finding love.

Sheri’s Ranch Announces New “Sex Menu”

Ever wonder what goes on at a brothel? (Apparently, lots of girls going down.) Sheri’s Ranch, a legal brothel 63 miles outside Las Vegas in Parhump, Nevada, just launched a new “sex menu” of appetizing activities. The brothel, which calls itself a “sex resort and spa”, notes that the latest trend is that more women and couples are coming to Sheri’s for weekend “sex vacays.”

“Why go to an illegal escort while you’re in the Las Vegas area?” they ask, when the threesomes, foursomes, and “moresomes” at this place are totally legal. Here’s what on the menu:

THE “NUNU MASSAGE”

A great way to “relax.” Popular in Japanese bathhouses, “Nunu is a wet massage where you and your courtesan are fully nude in the bathtub. A slippery gel is heated and generously applied. Your masseuse then glides her glistening naked body over yours, creating a unique tactile sensation that is startlingly arousing”, and ends with a happy ending.

THE PSE (THE PORN STAR EXPERIENCE)

“Incredible perverse positions” are included in this option, as well as “outrageous antics” that will have you having sex like a porn star. Or with a porn star, as the Ranch hosts visiting ex porn-stars for people who get to have porn star sex with the porn stars they used to only get to watch.

THE “A LA CARTE MENU

Choose from “Classic Cunnilingus” for bi-sexual or gay ladies, or “Couple’s Cunnilingus” where a “Courtesan” goes down on your girlfriend or wife while you get to watch. If you want to jump in there’s a Threesome option, “Classic Fellatio”, “Half & Half” (B.J. and intercourse), BDSM including spanking, bondage, foot fetish, or whatever other freak flag stuff you want to fly. There’s even a “cross dressing” option for dudes who want to dress up. (They’ll even do you hair.)

And since there’s always a revolving door of dozens of girls there, you can order up group sex with as many people as you want, or have them stage a “Roman Orgy.” A “vacation” you’ll never forget.

THE GFE (GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE)

This one is for lonely, bored, (or married) guys who want to pretend they have a new girlfriend for the night. “Are you looking for a girlfriend for the evening?” asks Sheri. “Sheri’s stunning courtesans provide the most sensuous and intimate GFE in the Las Vegas area. Our ladies provide empathy, tenderness, conversation, and intimate lovemaking in a discreet, lush setting.” No “Sorry, I have a headache” at this place. Guys can even go back and ask for the same girl to be his “steady girlfriend.”

“For the most immersive GFE offered,” they suggest “Ask your courtesan about our VIP bungalows.” Check out the “Hippie 60’s bungalow”, the ‘Arabian Nights” bungalow, and the “King Arthur” bungalow with a real suit of armour here.

And in the time honored tradition of brothels of the Wild West, Sheri’s begins with the “line-up” where you can pick your (gorgeous, btw) new “girlfriend.”

Photos from Sheri’s Ranch.

 

New Year’s Sex And Relationship Resolutions: Just Do It

It’s almost 2019 and time to set some love & sexy resolutions. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, the new year is always a good time to re-set your sex life, whether you currently have one or not.

1.) Get in shape.

This #1 one New Year’s resolution is important for your sex life. It’s a fact; more athletic, in-shape people have better sex. That’s because they have more endurance, are more confident, and are not embarrassed by their hanging fat deposits. You don’t have to have a perfect body to have great sex, as nobody has one, but exercising will make you feel better in general. If you’ve acquired a holiday “food baby,” start with a walk everyday. Build up to a “run walk” and finally, you will be running your fat off.

2.) Break off any relationships that are emotionally draining you.

If you are single: If you are in any relationship that emotionally drains you, it might be time to break it off. If you are single, the new year is a good time to assess whether you want to be in this relationship in five years. You should be with someone who adds to your life and builds you up.

3.) Get out more.

Meet new people in real life instead of getting ghosted, bread crumbed, and benched by the 50% of people on Tinder and other dating sites who are pretending they aren’t already in relationships or married. Meet people in “target rich” environments. If you are a foodie, go to food & wine events, if you love movies, go to film festivals, books, go to book festivals. Meet someone you have something in common with. You never know where you might find love.

4.) Talk to each other about what’s bothering you.

If you are married and your relationship is having problems, talk to a couple’s therapist before your communication problems get any worse. Therapists often say that by the time couples come to them, the relationships is a disaster. Talk to someone and make it better before that happens.

For fun, take a look at real therapists who work with couples trying to have better relationships. On Vh1’s  Couples Therapy, the awesome Dr. Jenn Mann works with couples of all sorts, including couples who shouldn’t even be having relationships with each other in the first place. Its interesting to watch what issues other couples are having, so you can help figure out yours.

For more couple’s therapy watching, check out the trainwreck couples on We T.V.’s Marriage Boot Camp Reality Starswith the brilliant Dr. Venus Nicolino, “Dr. V”, a clinical psychologist, and Dr. Ish Major,”Dr. Ish” an experienced psychiatrist. The two of them dig deep into each couple’s childhood issues to reveal how they bring childhood trauma into their adult relationships, and how to reverse the pattern and make relationships better.

5.) Go out of your comfort zone.

Like trying a new exercise program, use the same thinking in your sex life. If you’re in a relationship, make a list of 5 sexual fantasies you want to try. Have your partner (or partners!) do the same. Out of the five, see which fantasies match, discuss first, mentally prepare beforehand, then just do it. Just remember that like BDSMr’s who do the most extreme things establish a comfort zone by using the words “green light”, “yellow light”, and “red light”, to stop at any time and to keep things from getting weird.

6.) If you are married or in a relationship, stop being mad at each other and talk about what’s bugging you, rather than shutting down. Make 2019 about hope, love, and fun.

 

Image Credits: Wikimedia Commons.
Creator:ENEAS, ENEAS
Information extracted from IPTC Photo Metadata

 

2019 Sex Trends: What Real Couples Really Want To Do When They’re Doing It

A new service for couples,  simpatic.us has revealed the results of 6,400 “Intimate Interest” questionnaires sent to 3,200 couples, asking them what they really want to do sexually with their real partners.

The website “helps couples connect on their desires and fetishes without having to endure the risk of asking their partner something like “Hey, would you like to have a threesome”, says founder Derek Newton.

“Often, just asking is a challenge and a minefield for both people. We avoid that by having each person respond, then we compare the responses and send the couple (both of them), the things they both said they wanted to do, only the things they share. That way, if he wants to be spanked, and she’s not into that, the interest stays with him. No fear of rejection, no fear of judgement, no embarrassment. It’s a unique, relationship-positive, fun way to connect with your partner on shared interests.” In other words, if you’re too mortified to ask your partner for a threesome without them getting all mad at you, try this place. You might get lucky.

“As I always expected, we’ve seen growing use among couple’s counselors and therapists referring their clients, says Newton “Because of the way we’re set up, it’s a safe, judgement-free place to see what a couple can do together. And we were popular in the kink community from the very start.” This is because the kinkier you want to be, the more you have to discuss it with the person you want to be kinky with. The people who do the most extreme, BDSM stuff will tell you they always negotiate the most extreme activity before they even do it.

Here’s What’s Likely to Be Trending in Sex in 2019, according to the questionnaire:

Public attention – “Dressing or behaving in public so as to attract sexual attention, especially from an attracted gender. Being the object of or provoking attention from others – up 28%, mostly among women.” Let’s blame Instagram and Facebook for this one, as everyone now wants to advertise their merchandise for “likes”.

Eye Glasses

“Watching my partner wear – up 26% in six months, all genders.” Interesting. I’m now going to wear my reading glasses in bed. Better yet, if you really want to drive someone crazy, put on some glasses and masturbate in front them.

Corsets or tight clothing

“Having others see me wear – up 22% in six months, all among women.” Corsets are so damn sexy because they suck in your waist, hike up your boobs, and looks instantly kinky. Check out The Stockroom for great corsets and fun, skin tight latex fetishwear.

Exhibitionism

“Being watched with my partner in private, at a party for example – up 16% in six months, most of the increase is among women. It’s always been fairly popular among men.” Everyone likes to watch. Nothing sexier than getting dressed up, going to a party, and shooting “I would love to blow you/eat you” looks to your partner.

Remote Control Devices

“General – up 11% in six months, all genders probably due to the increased quality and availability of these devices.” Some of these high tech toys make you feel like someone is finger banging you across the room.

Photo: courtesy of The Stockroom.com

How To Have Sex When You’re Home For The Holidays

Now that you’ve decided to go to your parent’s, relative’s, or friend’s house for Christmas, how is the loud, wild vacay sex you hope for going to happen?

Well, there are some options here. Some people get turned off knowing that they are banging their partner while their parents are in the next room, while other people find the idea exciting. Whatever one you are, don’t mortified your family with screams of “Now do it up my ass big boy!”

TRY A BALL GAG

Seriously, if you’ve never tried one, this might be the time. Muffle those loud sounds of sex with a bad ass bondage gag for you or your lover. (You have to decide beforehand, of course who who will be the “gagger” and who will be the “gaggie.” Check out these scary but exciting (that’s the idea) gags from Stockroom, some of which are seriously sick. In a good way of course.

DO IT IN THE SHOWER

Here’s the one place in the house that nobody will here you. And even if they do, they won’t be able to figure out what you’re saying. Here’s a chance to try out a new position or two, like the “standing doggy” where you can use your hands to lean against the shower walls. Or try the “wraparound”, where you wrap your leg around his waist and stand face to face for some wet, steamy sexy time.

USE A QUIET VIBRATOR

If you’re having sex with yourself this Christmas, try a “quiet” vibrator that won’t be heard by anyone, including yourself. The cute little $36.00 “Bean” vibrator from Unbound, should do the trick. It’s “splendid” design looks like a pink or teal mod bean, and the toy is “remarkably quiet”, according to Unbound. Plus, it uses batteries and is waterproof, so it can be used in the shower. It’s a clitoral vibrator, so if your boyfriend gets too drunk to find yours, use this.

GET A ROOM. SOMEWHERE ELSE

If you’re in a new relationship or just really want some hot sex–now that you finally have some extra time to do so, you many want to just get your own accommodations. Many cities and towns now legally allow AirBNB, which often costs less than a hotel room, so you can rent someone else’s entire house for a few days while they’re quietly having sex in their parent’s guestroom.

Photo of leather Christmas ornament from Amazon.com