Need A Libido Boost? These Women Over 40 Have Some Great Ideas

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You know that old saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks?” Well, these eight women flash some serious side-eye to that sentiment by trying something new, past the age of 40, that transformed their sex lives forever. Here are their suggestions, so take notes!

Try Tantric Sex

Tantric Sex is not all about having sex for hours on end as rock star Sting once boasted. It actually includes realistic practices that can help sex last longer. “My boyfriend and I learned the tantric  ‘Breath of Fire’ in which he breathes very fast through his nose to delay his climax. To feel more sensation during the Big O, we growled like tigers to tap into our primal nature. Sounds silly, but it totally worked!” explains Caroline, 51.

Take Sexy Selfies – For Yourself!

For Lisa, 46, taking sexy photos of (and for!) herself gave her a whole new sense of self… and sexiness! “I gained a lot of weight and my self-confidence was down. So I started taking photos of myself for fun. With my digital camera, I was able to control the angle, the lighting, and use a filter and I liked what I saw. I gave me my confidence back. I don’t apologize for my size anymore and I feel more confidence in life and the bedroom,” she says.

Embrace Your Inner Goddess With Buti Yoga

BUTI instructor Karen Resulto of One Down Dog ( in L.A. in “Goddess” Pose. Photo by Rachel Madrigal

If you want to feel like a warrior princess, a goddess, and a sex kitten all in one hour, then try BUTI yoga. That’s how Carrie, 47, describes this unique yoga practice that combines shakti (the female principle of divine energy) awakening power yoga, primal movements, and tribal dance with a bit of twerking, belly dancing, and exotic dance moves. “When I get out of BUTI class, I want to have sex. I feel sexy, strong, powerful and very fired up. It awakens the goddess in me!” she says.



Take a Burlesque Class

Burlesque, a form of striptease that dates back to the 1800s, helps women learn how to tease and seduce in a classy way using vaudeville-style props and cheekiness. (Pun intended!) “My friend told me it was very empowering, so I gave it a shot. I would practice my routine for my boyfriend after class and we both loved it. I would never dance for a guy like that before, but this class was a real confidence-builder and it spiced up the relationship big time,” says Janie, 47.

Book A Boudoir Photo Shoot

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Why should models have all the fun? Photo studios, like Iconic Pinups in L.A., offer Pinup Girl and Boudoir photo shoots to help women tap into their inner pinup model or vixen. ” It brought back the va-va-voom in me! I gave a book of my Iconic Pinup photos to my boyfriend as a gift and it reminded us of our desire for each other. I felt sexier and when you feel sexy, the sex is better!” says Shari, 54.

Sext Your Partner

A recent study reported that 80% of adults have sexted. Have you? Sending sexy photos and/or messages is a great way to add some spice into any relationship. Just ask Alexa, 47. “I’ll sext my boyfriend all day and by the time I get home, we’re just ready for each other. When you’re flirting all day, you feel hornier at night. It’s also a great way to ask for what you want sexually without having the awkward conversation in person,” she says.

Smoke Some Weed

Guess what? Cannabis is now an aphrodisiac. Many sativa strains are blended specifically to increase the libido. “I smoked for the first time in about 20 years and it opened doors for me sexually. I had an absolute sexual awakening with weed. It helped me let go of insecurities and made me feel freer. I walk around naked now… and I’m crazier in bed. And, that feeling has stayed with me even when I’m not smoking weed,” says Jennifer, 49.

Read Erotica

If reading is to the mind what exercise is the to the body, then reading erotica is to the female libido what Viagra is for men with erectile dysfunction! “I didn’t realize how not in touch with my sexuality I was until I started reading erotica late one night. It woke me up, and taught me a lot. I learned to use my voice in bed, which was a liberating lesson for me and made it hot for my lover,” says Kate, 49.

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With her provocative writing style and penchant for in-depth research, Carrie Borzillo has earned renown and respect over her 20 years as a music and entertainment journalist. Her talents and passion for pop culture have also resulted in three critically-acclaimed books: Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day by Day Chronicle (Carlton Books, 2000; re-issued to commemorate the 20th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's passing in 2014 as Nirvana: In the Words of the People Who Were There; Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star (Simon Spotlight Entertainment, 2008), and Tera Patrick's Sinner Takes All: A Memoir of Love and Porn (Gotham/Penguin, 2010). A bona fide rock chick from birth, Carrie started her music journalism career at age 17. She covered the local music scene in her home state of Connecticut before graduating to publications such as Billboard, Spin and She has also covered celebrities, television, and music for People, E! Online, Us Weekly, and Teen People, and has penned cover stories for Billboard, TeenPeople, CosmoGirl! and Hit Parader. She has also written about sex advice columns for Gene Simmons’ Tongue magazine, SuicideGirls, and THC Expose magazine, and has appeared as a sexpert on national shows such as “Loveline” with Dr. Drew, Playboy Radio, and others. She currently writes about sex and relationships for Men's Health, Sphere, and others.


  1. Amazing article, I love the idea about booking a Boudoir photo shoot. I’ve had a lot of luck boosting my libido with my diet and exercise, so has my boyfriend, made me feel like a teen again.

  2. Agree, the article is comprehensive. However, tantric sex and yoga is the advice that is not easy to follow. For many, it may become a turn-off.
    As for me, sexting, reading erotica and taking boudoir photos are the best bits of advice — they are comfortable, understandable and probably sharable by both partners, yet extremely effective! )


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