What Does She Really Think Of Your Penis?

Men certainly obsess over their penises more than woman do their breasts. Is it big enough? Is it long enough? Are my balls weird looking? Let me let you into a little secret: We don’t really care what your penis looks like. We care about what you do with it (and your oral and hand skills too) and how you treat us.

Still, there are some common issues that we have with your junk. But the good news is, resourceful women find a way around them. Here’s what we found…

Extreme Sizes

Though it’s the first thing we notice about your penis, size doesn’t really matter to most women. In fact, researchers at UCLA reported that 84% of women feel “very satisfied” with their partner’s penis size. But, many women don’t like a penis that is too big or too small.

“His penis was about 10-inches long and very girthy. My first thought was not, ‘Wow. I’m a lucky lady.” It was, ‘Shit! How am I going to get this thing in my mouth and will it hurt my vagina?!’ Big is not always better. But, with a lot of foreplay to warm me up and lube, we worked it out,” says Lyndsey, 32.

On the flip side, Tina, 38, had a hard time adjusting to a below-average penis. (Studies show that the average penis size is 5.1-5.8 inches erect.) “It was so short and thin that I would’ve broken up with him over it if he hadn’t been good at oral and sex toys… and he was a great guy, so we made it work,” she says.

Crazy Curves

While Sean, 34, feels “blessed” to have had a “decent selection” of cock over the years, one penis threw him for a loop – literally. “It was so crooked it looked like a candy cane. I didn’t know what to do with it – lick it like a candy cane? We still had fun though, it just made me stop and go, ‘Whoa.'”

Like Sean, Lisa, 29, was also dumbfounded when she came eye to eye with her first curved penis. “It was weird. I didn’t know what to do with it! It curved way down. It didn’t turn me off, but I wish he said something or warned me. I did some research and apparently a curvature like that is good for doggy style, so I’ll be ready when I see him next.”

That said, if your curvature prohibits you from having sex, it could be Peyronie’s disease and a trip to your urologist is a must.

Uncircumcised Surprises

With a whopping 80% of men in the U.S. circumcised, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, it’s no wonder that many women are stunned when they come head to head with a whole lotta foreskin for the first time.

“I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m a little weirded-out by uncircumcised penises,” says Janet, 45. “The problem is that I wasn’t sure what to do with it. Do I pull it down before I put it in my mouth? It needs to come with an instruction manual or guys need to realize it’s sometimes confusing to women and maybe they can show or tell us what to do.”

The other problem, women report, is the fear of what’s lurking under all that foreskin, such as fuzz and lint or that white sticky substance known as smegma. If she’s grossed out, tell her that smegma is “completely sterile,” says Dr. Brian Steixner, MD, the director of the Institute for Men’s Health at Jersey Urology Group.

“It’s just a naturally produced substance a combination of shed skin cells, oil from skin, and some moisture. But, guys do need to wipe it down with a warm washcloth before sex and clean it in the shower regularly,” adds Dr. Steixner.

Bald Balls

The debate over pubic hair rages on. But one thing is certain: No one likes a full bush. But, to be bald or not to be bald? That is the still the lingering question. Most women we spoke to do not find a totally hairless sack attractive… and here’s why.

“I don’t like it. I get distracted. And then I think, ‘If he’s obsessed with his hair there is he judging mine right now?’ If we started dating, would he be OCD with the dishes and other things?” says Candace, 31.

When in doubt, err on the side of caution and give your junk a nice 5 o’clock shadow instead – neatly trimmed was the consensus in Is Pubic Hair Making a Comeback?

Stink D*#k

Just like you don’t enjoy going down on a foul-smelling vagina, we don’t like having a rank rod in our face. “My mouth is not going anywhere near anything that smells gamey,” says Janet, or, really, says every woman.

It’s simple guys: Wash up before you get down. Yes, this might mean you need to take a time-out in the throws of passion to duck into the bathroom to clean your cock. But, trust me, she’ll appreciate it. “The quickest way to wash your penis is with soap and water, but remember to rinse well so that your dick doesn’t taste like soap,” says Dr. Steixner.


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With her provocative writing style and penchant for in-depth research, Carrie Borzillo has earned renown and respect over her 20 years as a music and entertainment journalist. Her talents and passion for pop culture have also resulted in three critically-acclaimed books: Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day by Day Chronicle (Carlton Books, 2000; re-issued to commemorate the 20th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's passing in 2014 as Nirvana: In the Words of the People Who Were There; Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star (Simon Spotlight Entertainment, 2008), and Tera Patrick's Sinner Takes All: A Memoir of Love and Porn (Gotham/Penguin, 2010). A bona fide rock chick from birth, Carrie started her music journalism career at age 17. She covered the local music scene in her home state of Connecticut before graduating to publications such as Billboard, Spin and RollingStone.com. She has also covered celebrities, television, and music for People, E! Online, Us Weekly, and Teen People, and has penned cover stories for Billboard, TeenPeople, CosmoGirl! and Hit Parader. She has also written about sex advice columns for Gene Simmons’ Tongue magazine, SuicideGirls, and THC Expose magazine, and has appeared as a sexpert on national shows such as “Loveline” with Dr. Drew, Playboy Radio, and others. She currently writes about sex and relationships for Men's Health, Sphere, and others.


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