It seems like everyone is doing it: meeting people online. Whether its Tinder, Grindr, Match.com, and now Instagram, everyone seems to be doing something wrong.
Author Lindsay Alexandra Dawaon (L.A. Dawson) author of Waiting Online For Love, recently developed a quick cheat sheet for singles. The cheat sheet discuss the 7 deadly sins of online dating.
- LYING– “Your profile picture must be within a year,” says Dawson. “If you have a first meet and the person you meet does not match the picture you saw online, it is akin to lying.” In other words, don’t be a “catfisher” and post a photo you took 15 years and and 25 pounds ago.
- REVEALING TOO MUCH TOO SOON– Don’t be all TMI on the first date. Nobody wants to hear about your AA meetings, your neurotic ex, or even worse, how you cheated on your ex and now regret it. “By the time you finish your tales of woe” says Dawson, “they are about to run away from you.”
- NOT KNOWING IF YOU WANT CASUAL SEX OR A RELATIONSHIP– Don’t pretend you want a “relationship” if you are just trying to get laid and have 10 other people on the rotation. “If you tell a person that you want a relationship and in reality you want something casual you are doing everyone a disservice,” says Dawson. “Figure out what it is you are looking for before you break someone’s heart. Men will put that they want a relationship on their profile because they know that many women prefer a man who wants one.” It ends up biting everyone in the ass.
- WANTING A REAL RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT ALLOWING VULNERABILITY -“If you truly want a relationship you must accept exposing your vulnerability,” says Dawson. Opening your heart to the possibility of love is a necessity to finding deep love. Along the way be ready in case the right person comes along and “your casual thing” just became “the real thing.” But we will add that you should put your online object of affection “on probation” for three months or so to see if they are even worthy of giving your heart to.
- TAKING FAMILIAR LIBERTIES BEFORE THEIR TIME– Women hate it when guys are all over them on the first date. “Especially when you go a first date and you are too touchy feely, you are going to offend your date,” says Dawson. We also don’t want to hear what your kinkiest fantasies are on the first date if we’re not sure we even like you.
- SPEAK THE TRUTH IF THERE IS NO CHEMISTRY-Sexual chemistry is usually an instant thing. You’re either turned on to someone or you’re not. It can’t be forced. “After a few dates if you do not develop chemistry, be honest,” she says. Chemistry is or isn’t almost immediately on a first date.”
- MAKING ASSUMPTIONS – Don’t assume anything or you will be disappointed. The person you just met could be married with two kids. “You are strangers when you meet,” says Dawson. Do not assume anything in the process. You may approach relationships completely differently. Talk about it to see if you are on the same page. If you decide to become exclusive…discuss it. Do not assume the other person is ready for exclusivity.” Especially when he/she is having dinner with you and getting a million text messages.