Men have tried for thousands of years to best refine the art of lasting long enough for all involved to have as satisfying a sexual experience as possible. Some for selfish reasons, others to match the status quo expected of them, and some to make a better shared experience between them and their partner. It’s such a pressing issue that there’s even a multi-million dollar industry fueling a lot of anxieties and peddling quick fixes with miscellaneous chemicals or botanicals.
Sure, there are a few things you can take to ensure proper functioning of your sexual organs.
That doesn’t mean every $60 bottle of specially blended ratios of those ingredients do any better than your average drugstore supplement with the same ingredients for a fraction of the price.
Let’s go over some of the most relevant ways you can actually start lasting longer without any mumbo-jumbo getting in the way.
5 Tips/Methods To Last Longer In Bed
#1. Build & Break Tension As Needed
It’s easy to conceptualize sex as an on/off kind of thing. When you’re hard and ready to go, it’s time to engage in some rhythmic lovemaking. That’s part of sex without a doubt, but much in the same way that a song has structure with ups and downs, sex is better when it tells a story. Whenever you feel yourself starting to edge into territory where you aren’t confident in your ability to hold back from orgasm you should change up your tempo in a way that you’re giving your partner a varied experience. Slowing down just a bit, making shallow thrusts, as well as thrusting less in general are the physical ways to get the job done. The mental component isn’t to be understated though, time your movements properly and use them to build sexual tension.
#2. The Squeeze Method
A common home remedy so to speak for the issue of premature ejaculation is a quick squeeze to the bottom of the glans of the penis. It pushes blood out of the glans which decreases overall sexual stimulation felt at that time. It’s best used proactively to reduce your level of pleasure instead of relied on as a last resort. It’s not a magic bullet, you should see if you can give it a shot solo to see if it’s biofeedback that you actually respond well to. I felt the need to include this method since it is the least complex way to actually last longer. Just be aware that your mileage may vary.
#3. Other Sex Moves Are Your Friend
Foreplay does a lot for both partners physically and mentally. For you, it gives you the opportunity to use your fingers and your mouth to pleasure your partner. It of course counts as time in bed and many people report being able to last longer after taking some time to get more in sync with their partner before jumping into things. Nothing is stopping you from using these moves typically reserved for foreplay in the middle of the action. You’re able to quickly take a break at any point you want to try your hand in some oral or digital sex. Most women need clitoral stimulation to reach climax anyways, they’ll be appreciative of you understanding that penetration isn’t the only dish and you get some time to cool off a bit.
#4. Practice Training Your Sexual Stamina
Believe it or not, you can actually train yourself to last longer during sex through masturbation. For many men, a big part of the reason they ejaculate quickly during sex is because their penis isn’t used to being stimulated. By masturbating on a regular basis, you’re able to train your sexual stamina so that when you have intercourse, you won’t be so quick to ejaculate.
There’s various sex toys available from companies like Fleshlight such as the Fleshlight STU (Stamina Training Unit) which according to reviews, works well for training sexual stamina. The toy was designed specifically for the purpose of training yourself to last longer in bed.
#5. Train Your Mind
It’s kind of a cliche thing to say, yet I can’t help but mention that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone in the body. If you can learn to control your levels of desire as well as how you process your pleasure you can extend your time spent enjoying sex considerably.
In conjunction with squeezing your kegel muscles (the same ones you use to stop urinating mid-stream) the right amount of mental fortitude can keep you going for some time. It takes time to cultivate this kind of control, it requires an ability to listen to your body and then place yourself into the frame of mind where you can exploit a desire to not ejaculate. It isn’t directly thinking about not ejaculating, I’d say it’s more akin to learning how to control your heart rate, just with your penis instead of your heart.
Here are a few more tips from Sex Coach Psalm Isadora for Mindvalley TV.
Final Words Of Advice
It’s a noble pursuit to want to last longer in bed. Sex is an inextricable part of the human experience. We’re wired to seek it out, it feels good, it allows us to connect with people we love; you’re not the first person to be in this situation by any means. Lasting longer in bed is about mastering your mental and physical conceptualization of sex and learning to go with the flow instead of fighting the current. Of course, the flow can be changed and modified to your liking, just always remember this isn’t necessarily mind over matter. It’s harmony between the two.