Love, Lust or Attachment

When men fall in love — and women too, for that matter — their brains are flooded with feel-good chemicals: dopamine, norepinephrine, phenylethylamine, oxytocin, and for men, testosterone. When you have an orgasm, you get a real flood of oxytocin and vasopressin. 

What does that mean?!? 

When we feel attached to someone it isn’t always because we’re supposed to marry them. Sometimes they just hit the right trigger and you need to wait it out to make sure it’s a genuine connection and not just a fun ride. 

Love can be put into three categories: lust, attraction, and attachment. Though there are overlaps and subtleties to each, each type is characterized by its own set of hormones. Testosterone and estrogen drive lust; dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin create attraction; and oxytocin and vasopressin mediate attachment. You might say “Erika, that doesn’t sound romantic at all. Are you saying love is just a visceral response to the release of certain chemicals and hormones?!”  Sure we can explain a lot of it with science but there is still a lot of magic that we can’t explain. Couples that feel each other’s pain from across the globe, love that sustains the test of time and so much more. Don’t lose a grip on reality but don’t give up on the magic. 

Love is a skill. A skill that needs to be learned. A skill that our society refuses to consider as a skill. Let me be your love guide. 


Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence, and get them to want you!!!! Come find me at My six week course, Playmate Pickup is available with personalized guidance at Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!


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