Asking For Consent

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January 19, 2022

With the me too movement some men have become gun shy and no longer understand clearly what consent entails so today let’s talk about What is consent?

Consent is a voluntary, enthusiastic, and clear agreement between the participants to engage in sexual activity. Period.

There is no room for different views on this. People incapacitated by drugs or alcohol cannot consent. If she’s slurring that she wants to have sex it’s now your job to think for both of you and politely decline. If she can’t walk a straight line or speak a coherent sentence she isn’t capable of agreeing to sex.

If clear, voluntary, coherent, and ongoing consent is not given, it’s sexual assault. There aren’t different rules for people who’ve hooked up before.

Nonconsensual sex is rape.

Consent is clear and unambiguous. Is your partner enthusiastically engaging in sexual activity? Have they given verbal permission for each sexual activity? Then you have clear consent.

Silence is not consent. Never assume you have consent — you should clarify by asking. Once you start kissing your way down her stomach and she freezes don’t assume it’s because she’s impressed with your skills. Look up at her and ask her if she wants you to go down on her.

You should have permission for every activity at every stage of a sexual encounter. It’s also important to note that consent can be removed at any time — after all, people do change their minds! If she’s saying yes, yes, yes and then NO!! The previous yeses are irrelevant.

Failure to recognize that the other person was too impaired to consent is not “drunk sex.” It’s sexual assault.

Consent should be given freely and willingly. Repeatedly asking someone to engage in a sexual act until they eventually say yes is not consent, it’s coercion.

Consent is required for everyone, including people who are in a committed relationship or married. No one is obliged to do anything they don’t want to do. And being in a relationship doesn’t obligate a person to engage in any type of sexual activity.

It’s important to understand that any type of sexual activity without consent, including touching, fondling, kissing, and intercourse, is a form of sexual assault and may be considered a crime.

Both parties should feel comfortable communicating their needs without feeling fearful. If you’re initiating sex, and you become angry, frustrated, or insistent when your partner declines any sexual activity, this is not okay. Reminding her of nice things you’ve done in the past just makes you a dick. And means everything you did was laced with ulterior motives.

Sexual or nonsexual activity that occurs because of fear, guilt, or pressure is coercion — and it’s a form of sexual assault. If you’re engaging in sexual activity and the person declines to go further or seems hesitant, stop for a moment and ask them if they’re comfortable doing that activity or if they want to take a break.

Let them know you don’t want to do anything they don’t feel 100 percent comfortable with, and that there’s no harm in waiting and doing something else.

In any sexual encounter, it’s the responsibility of the person initiating sexual activity to ensure that the other person feels comfortable and safe.

You might worry that asking for consent is going to be a total mood killer, but the alternative — not asking for consent and potentially sexually assaulting someone — is unacceptable.

Consent doesn’t mean having to sit down for a clinical discussion or signing forms! There are ways to ask for consent that aren’t a total buzzkill.

Besides, if you’re comfortable enough to want to get closer, then you should be comfortable enough to ask for consent.

My six week course Playmate Pickup is now available at Playmatepickup.com with personalized

Erika Jordan’s “Advice For Men” Dick Pics

By

Erika Jordan

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March 12, 2020

Don’t send dick pics. Just reach down deep and kill that impulse to send a dick pic. But in the few occasions when you are genuinely asked for a dick pic. At least learn how to do it correctly. Good thing Erika Jordan is back with Advice For Men. Here she gives you the scoop on how to take a good dick pic.

Since the goal is to get a partner to join you in play you might want to check out Erika Jordan’s “Advice For Men” – How To Get Her To Be More Adventurous In Bed!

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

What Is A Sexpert

By

Erika Jordan

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March 25, 2020

You have seen the word “Sexpert” on the TV, in magazines and plastered all over social media. But what is a Sexpert and do you need one? Love coach and NLP practitioner Erika Jordan breaks it down for you in her new video. Coaches are common throughout school, as are mentors in work life. Some even use a life coach so why not a coach for your dating and sex life. If you have a sex or dating question comment below.

If you are wondering if sex on the first date is advisable in your situation. Erika Jordan has your answer in ‘Advice for Men’ Should You Have Sex On The First Date.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

There Are More Than Two Genders

By

Erika Jordan

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December 13, 2020

Newsflash! There are more than 2 types of gender.

I felt the need to clarify after encountering numerous videos pointing to text that says, “there are only 2 genders.” This misinformation is dismissive of real live human beings who just happen to not fit into our societal gender norms.

There are many different gender identities. Such as male, female, transgender, gender neutral, non-binary, agender, pangender, genderqueer, two-spirit, third gender etc. But first let’s talk about your definition of gender?

What’s a male? Anyone who has a penis? What 1s a person who was born with ovaries and a penis?

Some people conclude XY chromosome means male and XX chromosome means female. Well then what about XXY chromosomes or XXXY?

Whatever your definition of male or female it is simply your interpretation. It is wrong to not accept something simply because you do not fully understand it. Our societies need to force people into male or female is not universal. Australia recognizes a third gender, in South Asia they call the third gender hijra.

Intersex is a term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with sexual anatomy or a reproductive system that doesn’t ft the typical definition of male or female. 1-2 out of 100 people are born intersex. There are more intersex individuals than red heads and we would not think to deny their existence. Our closed mindedness not only refuses to acknowledge the existence of over 70 million people in the world. But we shame them and attempt to force them into choosing male or female. In an attempt to make their child “normal” some parents even opt for surgery that can create irreversible physical and psychological harm.

If a person is born with XXY chromosomes or XXXY it does not necessarily result in a condition where there is discrepancy between internal and external genitalia. There might be problems with sex hormone levels, sperm count, overall sexual development, or altered number of sex chromosomes. A person could go their entire life not knowing they do not fit into the gender norm.

The people who deny the existence of a third gender, often consider themselves conservative and religious implying that God has a plan. And yet somehow messed up with anyone who does not fit neatly into the male or female category. Other cultures celebrate the third gender. Perhaps they have a perspective that the average person can’t understand. Whatever the case may be at the very least we should all acknowledge that there are more than two genders. This is not an opinion this is based on facts. People that don’t fit into the gender norm deserve to be acknowledged and accepted the way they are.

If this is still confusing time to go back and let Erika Jordan help. Let us explore the differences in the two most common genders in Men and Women Are Different.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Erika Jordan

Certified Love Coach, NLP Practitioner

How To Listen To A Woman

By

Erika Jordan

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November 13, 2020

Let’s talk about listening.

I know men are often overwhelmed when listening to a female. They feel obligated to fix all of her problems. Sure it would be great if you could fix all of her problems however most women see conversation as a productive end in and of itself. What does that mean that means that if she feels sufficiently heard she doesn’t necessarily need to take it any further. The fact that she has been listen to soothe her anxieties and dolls the pangs of negative feelings.

Sharing with someone who understands and loves her heels her from the inside. This equips her with the emotional tools necessary to handle the trials of the outside world. Women tend to understand the emotional parts of messages more effectively than men. This is probably because research indicates that women process messages on both sides of the brain more so than men. So men tend to process more on the left side of the brain and emotional information is processed on the right.

Here are a few listening tips:

1. Women feel the need to express everything, I mean everything, in order to provide you with the most information about the situation, please be patient. Women often feel that men don’t care about what they are saying due to the lack of reaction, so be involved. Don’t assume what they are saying is not important because the subject is not important to you. If she is taking the time to talk about it, she wants you to take the time to listen to her.

2. Find the perfect balance between logic, empathy and our emotions. What is really happening? Why is she telling you to do the dishes. Does she feel disrespected or unappreciated? Put yourself in her shoes.

3. Check your emotions. Why are you so angry that she’s asking you to do the dishes. Why did you react that way. Taking a moment to rise above the situation and view it neutrally will transform your world.

Communication is the most important thing in any relationship. Improving your communication skills will improve every area of your life. From making you more successful in business to improving family relations and increasing intimacy with your significant other.

It requires work to keep your relationship strong. After the initial serotonin and oxytocin rush wears off you’re left with feelings of boredom. It’s a normal transition because everything seems boring compared to that new relationship energy. You might not be able to maintain the excitement you felt during the first few weeks but much like cocaine you can continuously pursue that initial buzz but no amount of cocaine will get you there. You have to find a buzz you can sustain (like eating healthy and getting adequate sleep.) If you want a relationship to last you have to be aware of the inevitable ups and downs and be able to adjust accordingly.

Communication and listening is a primary skill for a successful relationship. For more on needed skills let Erika Jordan guide you with Advice For Men Skills.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Erika Jordan’s “Advice For Men” Can I Make My Penis Bigger

By

Erika Jordan

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April 27, 2020

If you are like 80% of men you are obsessed with size. And many have wondered is it possible to make ones penis bigger! No prosthetics, weird pills, crazy pumps or surgery is needed. But is there something you can do to supersize your package? Let world renowned love coach Erika Jordan guide you to a bigger penis. With Erika Jordan’s “Advice For Men” Can I Make My Penis Bigger the answer is truly in your hands.

For those that do get the results they desire there might be an urge to show off. But first check out Erika Jordan’s “Advice For Men” Dick Pics.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Masturbate Your Way To Greatness

By

Erika Jordan

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May 28, 2021

Erika Jordan is back with another episode of the Playmate Pickup podcast. This week in honor of Masturbation May she dives right in with Masturbate Your Way To Greatness. Since this is Erika the stories will be revealing and all about masturbation. Erika includes news about the health benefits of masturbation. Also includes the tips you need to ensure your self love is all it can be.

Not every episode of self love needs to be a solo adventure. Let Erika Jordan guide you with The Ultimate Sex Game.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Erika Jordan’s ‘Advice For Men’ – Best Sex Positions For Anal

By

Erika Jordan

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May 17, 2018

This video gives you the very hot low-down on which sex positions can become anal sex positions, giving them a super-charged erotic twist. Erika’s here to spice up your Netflix & chill evening.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Men and Women Are Different: How to Communicate About Sex

By

Erika Jordan

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November 27, 2020

Men and women are so different they seem to come from different planets. Or at least that is what John Grey the author of the New York Times best seller, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus claims. Embracing and accepting our differences will help us maintain healthy relationships.

But what does this mean? Men are able to focus on narrow issues while blocking out unrelated information and distractions. Women naturally see everyday things from a broader, “big-picture” vantage point. We can all recall walking by a couple where the woman is chatting away and guy is seemingly staring into space. The man might really care for her but just can’t tune in to all the mind numbing details. Men prefer to get to the point quickly instead of walking around the point in circles.

Instead of getting into the complex mind of a female, I will simply point out five major points. That if employed will help you communicate much better with women.

1: I don’t know, what do you want to do? We all hate this question but it is one that is asked quite often. When she asks you a question, it is best to always have an answer. Even if you have no preference where to eat just say the first place that pops into your mind. Always having an answer sets a tone and creates a pattern that has her seeing you as the solution man and a man who cares. Don’t pretend to know more than you do. A lie is visible from space. I will look into that is a viable answer. I have heard many times that a woman’s favorite three words is some form of “I’ve got this”.

2: Communication not interrogation. You have heard people say if you get her talking about herself she will feel like she is having a good time and connecting with you. This is true but it doesn’t mean interrogate her. Asking her a steady stream of questions makes her feel like you are genuinely interested in her. Contribute to the conversation and make sure you relate to her and evoke emotion. Make sure that you ask open ended questions that require more than one word as a response and can turn into a conversation. “What do you like about living in Los Angeles?”

3: Learning to drive a woman. If you want something to change in the relationship it is going to require time. Take time as you sit together, cook together, eat together, travel together to voice your dissatisfaction with certain aspects of the relationship. Just do it in a calm fashion. Tone of voice is about half of the communication so pay attention to your tone. Reassure her that you are happy (if you are) with the overall relationship. You just want one or two things to change. When she has the mic be an active listener, don’t look around or just sit there, and don’t say “uh uh” every few seconds. Watch her body language, tone and proceed like they taught us in drivers ed. IPDE. Identify, predict, decide and execute.

4: No unnecessary apology. Most women I know think a man comes off as a wimp when he starts every sentence off with “I’m sorry.” Don’t apologize for not agreeing with her. Don’t apologize for wanting to watch the game (unless it’s during her grandmothers funeral). Not only will you over-use “sorry” but it will not have the same impact when you really mean it.

5: Don’t argue with crazy. When I say “Don’t argue with crazy.” I mean that to a woman, she’s not being crazy at the moment. Even though every other person on this earth would clearly side with your opinion. They are what they are and you attempting to rationalize or solve the problem isn’t always the right thing to do. If she starts crying during a cat commercial because the cat is “just so fluffy,” the smart thing to do is simply put your arm around her and attempt to put yourself in her shoes. Is she suffering from PMS, did her cat just die, or did she forget to take her meds? Regardless of where she is on the crazy scale the right way to deal with something you see is illogical or “crazy” is to sympathize with it and bring some humor into the situation if possible to lighten the mood.

Since much of communication is listening time to review the previous post from Erika Jordan, How To Listen To A Woman.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Erika Jordan’s “Advice For Men” Textually Compatible

By

Erika Jordan

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December 10, 2019

Time to stretch your fingers and thumb to become textually compatible. Erika Jordan is back with more video advice for men.

It’s challenging finding someone you are compatible with but thanks to modern technology it’s more difficult than ever before! You might be physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually compatible but are you TEXTUALLY compatible?

For more advice from Erika Jordan may I recommend The Ultimate Sex Game.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!