Let’s talk about listening.
I know men are often overwhelmed when listening to a female. They feel obligated to fix all of her problems. Sure it would be great if you could fix all of her problems however most women see conversation as a productive end in and of itself. What does that mean that means that if she feels sufficiently heard she doesn’t necessarily need to take it any further. The fact that she has been listen to soothe her anxieties and dolls the pangs of negative feelings.
Sharing with someone who understands and loves her heels her from the inside. This equips her with the emotional tools necessary to handle the trials of the outside world. Women tend to understand the emotional parts of messages more effectively than men. This is probably because research indicates that women process messages on both sides of the brain more so than men. So men tend to process more on the left side of the brain and emotional information is processed on the right.
Here are a few listening tips:
1. Women feel the need to express everything, I mean everything, in order to provide you with the most information about the situation, please be patient. Women often feel that men don’t care about what they are saying due to the lack of reaction, so be involved. Don’t assume what they are saying is not important because the subject is not important to you. If she is taking the time to talk about it, she wants you to take the time to listen to her.
2. Find the perfect balance between logic, empathy and our emotions. What is really happening? Why is she telling you to do the dishes. Does she feel disrespected or unappreciated? Put yourself in her shoes.
3. Check your emotions. Why are you so angry that she’s asking you to do the dishes. Why did you react that way. Taking a moment to rise above the situation and view it neutrally will transform your world.
Communication is the most important thing in any relationship. Improving your communication skills will improve every area of your life. From making you more successful in business to improving family relations and increasing intimacy with your significant other.
It requires work to keep your relationship strong. After the initial serotonin and oxytocin rush wears off you’re left with feelings of boredom. It’s a normal transition because everything seems boring compared to that new relationship energy. You might not be able to maintain the excitement you felt during the first few weeks but much like cocaine you can continuously pursue that initial buzz but no amount of cocaine will get you there. You have to find a buzz you can sustain (like eating healthy and getting adequate sleep.) If you want a relationship to last you have to be aware of the inevitable ups and downs and be able to adjust accordingly.
Communication and listening is a primary skill for a successful relationship. For more on needed skills let Erika Jordan guide you with Advice For Men Skills.
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