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Top 10 Dating & Relationship Deal Breakers (According to Science)

By
Anka Radakovich
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From the world of evolutionary psychology comes a new research study that examines what personality traits daters and people in relationships avoid. Most studies examine the traits people desire (the “deal makers”), but this extensive study was more interested in what turns people off, (“the deal breakers”).

According to a study published by the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, the study included an even mix of single people who were dating, people in committed relationships, and married people. The study group included heteros, gays, and bi-sexuals.

The deal breakers were divided into two categories: those who were dating and in the process of “mate selecting,” (short-term) and those who were in relationships (long-term). Some deal breakers, such as “is married or already in another relationship” appeared on both lists, as many people said they hate it when thought they were in a monogamous relationship, but their partner didn’t. Often, people are willing to fill out an extensive survey about the state of their relationship, rather than just discuss it with the person they’re in the relationship with.

Here are the results:

Top 10 Deal Breakers for Short-Term Relationships

  1. Has health issues or STDs
  2. Smells
  3. Has poor hygiene
  4. Is married or already in another relationship
  5. Is currently dating multiple people
  6. Has anger issues or is abusive
  7. Isn’t good in bed
  8. Isn’t attractive
  9. Is racist or bigoted
  10. Doesn’t take care of themselves

Top 10 Deal Breakers for Long-Term Relationships

  1. Has anger issues or is abusive
  2. Is dating multiple people
  3. Isn’t trustworthy
  4. Is married or already in another relationship
  5. Has health issues or STDs
  6. Has an alcohol or drug problem
  7. Isn’t attentive or caring
  8. Dismisses your interests
  9. Has poor hygiene
  10. Smells

Embarrassed To Buy Condoms? Safer Sex, Delivered

By
Carrie Borzillo
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Is anyone really embarrassed to buy condoms at the store anymore? Apparently so. If you search Google for “too embarrassed to buy condoms” 1.76 million results appear. You’ll find countless articles titled along the lines of “How To Buy Condoms Discreetly” or “10 Things More Embarrassing Than Buying Condoms,” and terrified teens tearing up the message boards on Reddit and Yahoo! Answers with cries for help like “I’m too embarrassed to buy condoms. Help!”

Embarrassed cartoon face

Here’s a thought, kiddos: Buy them on Amazon! Or… have a little more fun with your online shopping and subscribe to CupidQuiver, a monthly condom subscription service (like Birchbox for beauty products, BarkBox for doggie goods, or HelloFresh for recipes, this is a box for sex) that delivers you condoms before you need them. What CupidQuiver offers that Amazon doesn’t are fun little extras like free lubes, little role play cards, sexy tips on using lube, and/or other miscellaneous product they decide to throw in for fun.

“Remember the Saturday Night Live skit, D**k in a Box? We like to think of ourselves as Sex in a Box,” quips Todd Harris, President of CupidQuiver, which launched in mid-March.

But in all seriousness, the beauty of what CupidQuiver provides is that they reliably deliver what you need before you need it. “The goal for our clients is to have fun, safely, and to always be prepared. Nothing is worse than getting intimate only to realize you are out of protection! Remembering condoms after-the-fact is not ideal,” says Harris.

Here’s how it works: You choose the type of ID Condoms condom that you want: Studded, Extra Thin, Extra Large, or Superior Feel Lubricated. Then you choose your package: No Strings Attached (1 condom for $1 plus $2 shipping and handling), Friends with Benefits (3 condoms for $5), Singles Mingle (6 condoms plus 1 ID lube for $7), or Lucky You (10 condoms plus 1 lube for $10). The latter three packages include shipping and handling. And, you can easily change your subscription based on how fast or slow your sex life is moving.

Harris tells Sexpert.com that they are shooting for a late-July launch of curated “Fun Boxes.” “They will include sex toys, more tips, and other bedroom goodies,” he says.

CQ Mailer

Erika Jordan’s “Advice For Men” Dick Pics

By
Erika Jordan
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Don’t send dick pics. Just reach down deep and kill that impulse to send a dick pic. But in the few occasions when you are genuinely asked for a dick pic. At least learn how to do it correctly. Good thing Erika Jordan is back with Advice For Men. Here she gives you the scoop on how to take a good dick pic.

Since the goal is to get a partner to join you in play you might want to check out Erika Jordan’s “Advice For Men” – How To Get Her To Be More Adventurous In Bed! 

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Erika Jordan’s Advice For Men Miss Red Flag

By
Erika Jordan
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Women come in different shapes and sizes, and learning who would be your perfect fit is a bit like reading a “choose your own adventure” novel. Unfortunately, that also means learning the “red flags” of who you aren’t looking for, and what kind of woman might be downright toxic for you.

A woman’s logical mind, heart, and libido tend to have different ideas regarding who might be the right person to pursue. So learning to find a compromise that makes every part of you happy can be borderline impossible in the long term.

If you want to date more efficiently and not waste precious time on someone who’s completely wrong for you. Then you need to recognize relationship red flags and learn how to stop a bad relationship before it starts.

Here are 11 types of “red flag women” you need to avoid while you’re dating.

1. The “rebound” red flag.

She needs to be in a relationship at all times and will set up a new nest before destroying the one she’s in. She’s constantly looking for someone better and will drop you the moment she secures her next “upgrade.” She fears nights alone and informs Facebook every time she leaves the house. This is a woman who seems to cycle through a lot of partners and boyfriends, and has no end of available people to pick from.

2. The “drunk girl at the party” red flag.

She feels most comfortable when she’s bar-hopping the night away. She parties with her posse until the sun comes up, even on a Tuesday. This girl will run up your bar tab getting plastered every night. Then, you can hold back her hair while she covers your leather seats with vomit. And if you still feel like doing the deed when you get home, let me remind you alcohol loosens everything up and desensitizes you. She might be the most exciting person in the party, but in real life, she won’t make a supportive partner.

3. The “dependent” red flag.

Her family, husbands, boyfriends, and divorce settlements have created a life for her in which she has never relied on herself for anything. She has no ambition and no interest in getting an education or career. She’s really good at doing nothing; she’s like a poor Kardashian. This woman has no dreams or ideas for creating a life for herself. She only wants to be taken care of and has zero ambition to do anything else.

4. The “designer everything” red flag.

This red-flag woman only wears the finest fabrics, and if it’s not designer, she doesn’t want it in the same room as her. She’s obsessed with fashion and has her cosmetic dentist and plastic surgeon on speed dial.She has a section in her closet just for yachting attire and if you don’t own a yacht, it’s a problem. A woman like this will expect to be wined-and-dined in an extravagant way and won’t settle for less. It may leave you scrambling to figure out how to support her lifestyle, or feeling like you’ll never be good enough.

5. The “addict” red flag.

This woman claims to have more ailments than a lab rat and knows which doctors are loose with the prescription pad. No one really seems to know what’s wrong with her, and her extreme moods can leave you reeling. A woman like this needs help and is in no way capable of being in a healthy, loving relationship at this time.

6. The “people pleaser” red flag.

This woman won’t disagree with you — ever. She agrees with everything you say. She’s a “sweetheart” and projects a selfless demeanor. Seems fine and dandy if you’re the type of man who doesn’t mind a girl without her own opinion. But in actuality, she has an opinion and keeps stuffing her own feelings and ideas deep down to appear more appealing to you. This is a passive woman that ends up becoming volatile and angry. Put simply, the sweetness is a mask to make her appealing, but it doesn’t stay.

7. The “childish” red flag.

This girl is forever a child. She’s anti-authority and likes to cause a scene, and isn’t afraid of having a tantrum like a toddler, loudly and in public. She pouts when she doesn’t get her way and doesn’t act mature, regardless of the situation. She’ll never dress or act appropriately, but still thinks she’s hip. You might like a good thrill, but with this girl, the thrill never stops… Until you end up in jail or a confrontation.

8. The “needy” red flag.

This isn’t just a girl who likes attention; this is a girl who needs it. Craves it, even. She needs attention at all times, so if you’re not available to reassure her 24/7, it’s likely she’s texting 10 other guys to get what she’s looking for. Someone like this isn’t going to be interested in a healthy, long-term relationship.

9. The “baby fever” red flag.

This woman tracks her ovulation with an app on her phone. She loves sex and refuses to use birth control. At least she tells you she’s on the pill, but you’ve personally never seen a single one. This girl is obsessed with having offspring and will do and say anything necessary to achieve this objective. This girl may want you to stick around, but it might only be to pay child support.

10. The “drama” red flag.

This is a “woe is me” type of human being who can never take responsibility for her part in her misery. Her life is more dramatic than a Quentin Tarantino film. Something happened in her life, and from that point, everything was one traumatic occurrence after another. She claims to hate drama, but seems to have a never-ending stream of it 24/7. Being around her will be exhausting.

11. The “procrastination” red flag.

This type of woman is not in the right place in her life for a relationship, but she’ll never actually admit it. Instead, she’ll keep breadcrumbing you along, pretending that a relationship is in the works. You hang on because she’s unpredictable and mysterious, and she’ll stick around for a bit while you pay the bill. Although people have a need for excitement and uncertainty, don’t get fooled by these relationship red-flag types. It’s time to grow and learn from past mistakes if you want to have a good relationship in the future, so break the pattern and get a better result!

Learn to ask questions that can help you spot red flags. Erika Jordan has some suggestions in Advice For Men Questions To Ask A Girl. 

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Casual Intimacy: Can There be Intimacy with Casual Sex?

By
Alison Miller
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Here are a few things that make me happy:

  • Sunshine
  • Chocolate
  • Cold Beer
  • Good Sex
  • The Golden Girls

Because I enjoy happiness, I spend a lot of time outside. I eat a small piece of chocolate every night after my kids go to bed. There’s always beer in my fridge, and I own every episode of The Golden Girls.

Also because I enjoy happiness, I pursue good sex. Because the best sex involves another person, attaining it can be more complicated than a trip to the grocery store or stepping into my backyard.

For me, the search for good sex extends beyond pleasurable genitalia, impressive stamina, and even a pretty face. Beauty and technique matter, but not as much as a person’s ability to inspire me or make me smile. Sex toys have come a long way–if a firm, sizable cock was all I required, I’d have run off with Alan long ago.

all-three-tantus-380x380

The necessity of a great personality is a somewhat regrettable complication. Tindr, that abomination, unites a bazillion people each day. It strips folks down to a few favorable pictures and a brief, self-imposed synopsis. Matches are easy and uncomplicated. If somethings goes wrong, swipe left (or is it right?) and it’s onto the next.

Causal sex becomes less casual when personalities get involved, but without personality, what fun is sex? Physical release is intense, amazing, healthy, and necessary, but I don’t know that I’d call it fun. Fun is eye contact pulling you towards a first kiss. Fun is a full body spark emanating from a bare knee. Fun is exchanging breath while laughing.

Fun is intimacy. Intimacy is arousing. Is it also inherently non-casual?

If I have sex with you, I like you. I might like you like I like sunshine, gaining from you a warmth that fills me and sends me straight to sleep. I might enjoy you like I enjoy classic TV, relaxing fully when we’re together and delighting in your good humor. I might close my eyes and savor you like you like a Hershey’s Kiss.

Whichever form it takes, like differs from love. Likewise, a desire to have sex with someone only sometimes coincides with wanting to form a committed relationship. There’s an obvious, glowing overlap in the Venn Diagram of sex and attachment, but there are singular spaces, and they don’t all represent anonymous sex.

I seek happiness, and I know what it is. It’s coconut yogurt with chocolate chips. It’s sunny cheeks. It’s cheap beer in a baby pool. It’s a flower the day before its death.

And it’s the sweat behind his neck. It’s the arch of my back. It’s frantic fingers and shuddering thighs. However intense and however intimate, sex can also just be happiness.

When we’re truthful with ourselves and with our partners, we’re granted the freedom to enjoy what we enjoy. When coyness morphs into game playing, we only limit ourselves. Too often, we restrict pleasure out of fear or perceived obligation. I’m not suggesting irresponsibility or hedonism. Contrarily, I’m casting a vote for honesty.

The best sex is shared between people who understand each other’s relevant needs. If you’re forming a relationship, you may want to discuss future goals. If you’re embarking on a one night stand, find out how he likes his dick sucked. And if what you want falls somewhere in between, say what’s honest, do what’s true, seek pleasure and harm no one.

Nothing could be more simple, or more casual.

100 Questions to Ask Before You Make a Commitment

By
Dr. Ava Cadell
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Photo by Jonathan Borba from Pexels

Anyone who is planning on getting married should ask their significant other these important questions before getting hitched. It can give them the opportunity to discuss any potential problems before they occur. Here’s my list of 100 questions you could ask your spouse to be before getting hitched.

Questions you should ask your potential long-term partner:

  1. What is the worst thing a lover could do or say to you?
  2. Which role-playing fantasy would turn you on the most? Master & slave, biker & slut, nurse & patient or Hooker & John.
  3. What qualities are you looking for in a lover?
  4. Prioritize what is most important in your life; work, family, spirituality, friends, money, health?
  5. What is your definition of love, intimacy & sex?
  6. What is your most precious possession?
  7. Do you approve or disapprove of learning different sexual techniques from experts who author books or DVD’s?
  8. List the best qualities you have to bring to a relationship.
  9. What would you like to improve about yourself?
  10. Name 3 of the most significant times in your life.
  11. Do you think you need to make any personal improvements in yourself? If so, what?
  12. What are your biggest fears about marriage?
  13. What is one life lesson you would like to share with your partner?
  14. What is your definition of intimacy?
  15. What would you do if you and your lover had a mismatched sex drive?
  16. What is your definition of a romantic evening?
  17. What questions could you ask them to get to know them more intimately?
  18. Describe yourself in one word?
  19. Who or what do you love?
  20. What do you feel is the biggest success you have achieved in your life?
  21. How many times have you been in love?
  22. Would you rather your lover was funny, seductive, smart or nurturing?
  23. How would you like your lover to dress in order to light your fire?
  24. How would you get them in the mood for lovemaking?
  25. When do you feel most vulnerable?
  26. What lessons have you learned from past relationships?
  27. What is a relationship deal-breaker for you?
  28. Do you like a lover to talk erotically in bed?
  29. What was your most embarrassing relationship moment?
  30. Name 2 crushes that you admire and why.
  31. What is your favorite part of your body?
  32. How do you think potential partners perceive you at first glance?
  33. What’s your favorite sexual activity?
  34. What makes you believe that you are ready for marriage?
  35. What one word would you use to describe your sexual personality?
  36. Would you say that you are a good lover, average lover or below average lover and what would it take to make you a great lover?
  37. What turns you off sexually?
  38. Is there any sexual act that you will not perform?
  39. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
  40. What’s the most hurtful criticism you’ve ever received?
  41. List 2 things that a potential partner could do or say that annoys you.
  42. Are you fanatical about anything?
  43. Do you have a pet name for any intimate part of your body?
  44. What do you feel is the biggest failure or drawback you have ever experienced?
  45. Can you overlook anything from your future lover’s past?
  46. Do you have any deal breakers that would prevent you from getting married?
  47. Do you have any sexual inhibitions?
  48. What is the wildest sexual encounter you have experienced?
  49. Where does sex rank in life’s priorities for you?
  50. What are your biggest strengths?
  51. What are your weaknesses?
  52. Have you ever regretted being intimate with someone?
  53. Finish this sentence: I wish my lover would…
  54. How would you feel about having a three-way in a foreign country?
  55. Name 3 sexual activities that turn you on the most.
  56. What do you love most about a lover?
  57. What do you love about yourself the most?
  58. What are you not willing to change for your marriage?
  59. What do you think are the benefits from being married?
  60. What is your favorite part of your lover’s body?
  61. Would you partake in a nude Jacuzzi with other couples in a resort where clothing is optional?
  62. How often would you like to have sex?
  63. What sexual fantasies do you still have that you’d like to turn into reality?
  64. How often would you like to have sex?
  65. What have you learned from your past relationships?
  66. Describe the best sexual experience you ever had.
  67. Who do you still need to forgive in your past?
  68. What is one life lesson you would like to share with your lover?
  69. What did you dislike most about your childhood?
  70. If your past lovers listed your most negative characteristics, what would they be?
  71. What was your most embarrassing moment?
  72. At what point in a marriage do you feel divorce is inevitable?
  73. What gift would you like your lover to give you on your wedding night?
  74. What are you sexually inhibited about?
  75. What makes you feel sexy?
  76. How do you like to be romanced?
  77. How long would you like lovemaking to last?
  78. What do you like to be called during lovemaking?
  79. How important is foreplay to you?
  80. Where is the place to touch you that turns you on the most?
  81. How would impotence affect your relationship?
  82. Have you had any sexual problems with any previous lovers?
  83. What changes do you expect to occur in your life after you are married?
  84. What if you and your lover can’t agree on having children?
  85. What is your greatest possession?
  86. Who or what do you love?
  87. If your lover wanted to see one of his exes socially, would you object?
  88. What fears do you have about marriage?
  89. What animal would best describe you in bed and why?
  90. Would you do a striptease for your lover?
  91. Would you have sex with your lover even if you weren’t in the mood?
  92. Would you let your lover tie you up?
  93. Do you like to use sex toys? If so, which ones?
  94. In order of priority, what sex act do you enjoy the most, oral sex giving, receiving or intercourse?
  95. Do you like to talk erotically in bed?
  96. What is your favorite sexual position and why?
  97. How do you feel about spanking?
  98. Do you enjoy sexual role-playing? If so, what role turns you on the most?
  99. What is the wildest sex act you’ve ever done?
  100. What would you do if your lover was unable to have sex with you due to an illness?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy National Steak & Blowjob Day!

By
Carrie Borzillo
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It’s no secret that a lot of men loathe Valentine’s Day. There is a lot of pressure to plan the perfect date, get the right gift, and sometimes force romance on a specific day instead of showing your love, affection, and passion all year long. And, the pressure often results in more Valentine’s Day break-ups than you would expect. So, some sexy geniuses out there created National Steak & Blowjob Day, which is casually called “Man’s Valentine’s Day” and it takes place tomorrow, March 14.

The National Steak & Blowjob Day folks are adding a charitable element to the celebration this year by taking donations on their official website for CoppaFeel!, which is a charity formed to raise funds for breast cancer awareness, as 1.7 million people are diagnosed with the sometimes deadly disease each year. If you wish to donate to the cause, click here.

Steaks and blowjobs are arguably men’s two favorite things, so why shouldn’t we indulge our guys in what they love? We’re sharing the recipe for the perfect steak and for the perfect BJ, as well as instructions on how to place a condom on his penis with your mouth. It takes practice, but hopefully this How To will help. Yes, wearing a condom even for a blowjob is yet another step in having safe sex.

How To Grill the Perfect Steak

I’m a vegetarian, but since I don’t push my lifestyle choices on anyone, I am perfectly fine grilling up a steak for a meat-eating boyfriend or family and friends. And, frankly, a girl in heels manning the grill and knowing how to handle some meat is a pretty big turn on – or so I’ve been told.

Not to preach, but when I have to buy meat for my guests, I make sure it’s not just a Grade A piece of meat, but I look for the USDA Organic Certification and Certified Humane Raised & Handled labels to get the healthiest (grass-fed and free of antibiotics and growth hormones) and most ethical pieces of meat available. Yes, it does cost more, but it’s worth it.

To show your partner that you really care, splurge for a gourmet cut, such as a filet mignon, or go for the manliest of all cuts – the mammoth 1lb. Porterhouse, which includes a full filet mignon on one side of the bone and a top loin, a.k.a., New York Strip Steak on the other side. The bigger, the better. Right, ladies?

Steak Preparation Instructions
  • Mix up a few tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil, the juice of a ¼ fresh organic lemon, and a few dashes of Worcestershire sauce in a bowl.
  • Brush this marinade onto each side of the steak.
  • Add a few dashes of coarse sea salt and cracked pepper.
  • Marinate the steak in refrigerator for at least 10 minutes, but 20 minutes would be even better.
Grilling Instructions
  • Oil up the grill with extra virgin olive oil so the steak doesn’t stick. It’s best to use real oil on a paper towel to really scrub it into the grill instead of an oil spray.
  • Set the grill to high heat to get some good grilling marks, but to make sure you don’t overcook it, reduce it to medium heat and keep an eye on it.
  • Cooking times will vary depending on the thickness of the steak, but start with four-minutes on each side and then check and adjust as needed.
How to Put a Condom on Him With Your Mouth

Step 1: Don’t forget: You can get STDs through oral sex, so it’s best to wrap his willy before you go down on him. Don’t buy a lubricated condom. They don’t taste very good. You can find an array of flavored condoms in every flavor imaginable, including chocolate strawberry, bubblegum, island punch, banana split, tropical flavors, and more. You won’t find that kind of selection at your local drug store, but you can stock up on them at Condomania.com or CondomDepot.com.

Step 2: Place the tip of the condom in the roof of your mouth (make sure it’s not inside out) with the opening coming out of your lips. Be careful not to puncture it with your teeth, and if you have braces or mouth piercings, be extra cautious!

Step 3: It’s easiest to place the tip of his penis in your mouth with your hands first, and then use your lips to roll the condom down his shaft with a firm suction on him so it feels good while it’s going on. This takes a little practice, so if it goes sloppily just laugh – but be careful not to choke on the condom! You don’t want to end up on an episode of “Sex Sent Me to the E.R.”

How To Give the Perfect Blowjob

Set The Scene: Now, the fun part! Set up a sexy experience. I like to wear full-on lingerie with heels and a bright lip-gloss. I sometimes like the initiate the blowjob by placing him in a chair first and performing some strip tease moves, such as rubbing my breasts in his face and whispering something naughty in his ear as he takes in a whiff of my sexy perfume. I’ll sit on his lap backwards, throw my head back, and slide down to my knees before turning around to unzip him and take him in my mouth. For more striptease moves, check out my book, Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend and to Living Life Like a Rock Star (Simon & Schuster), which features a chapter by burlesque star Dita Von Teese on how to perform a classy – and classic – strip tease for your man.

Make Him Comfortable: He might like a chair blowjob or he might like lying in bed instead. Ask him. Cater to his needs. A blowjob is all about pleasing and serving him. If he’s lying on the bed, reach up to feel his chest or run your fingernails up and down his chest or along his thighs and hips. Men love fingernails. The key is to tease him a bit before you take him into your mouth. Rev him up instead of just dropping to your knees and going at it.

Mix It Up: You want your sucking action to have variety – go from slow to fast and from as deep as you can handle to just tickling the tip a bit. If you have a dry mouth, some guys find it sexy to use your own spit to lubricate him further.

Get Into It: Men love it when YOU love it. So, look up at him with your wide eyes as his penis is in your mouth and make yummy, moaning sounds as if it’s the best thing you’ve ever tasted. Tell him you love his cock and want to take him all in. The more into you are, the more likely he’s going to think it’s the best blowjob he’s ever had. And, maybe the more likely he’ll reciprocate with oral on you with the same passion and effort.

Multi-Task: Now, it’s time to multi-task, ladies. As his cock is in your mouth, there are loads of things to do with your hands. You might need to use one hand to make sure the condom stays in place, but that still leaves you another hand to have fun with. You can stroke his cock as you’re sucking it – as if you’re giving him a handjob into your mouth. Fondling, kissing, and sucking his balls will score you high points. If his balls are small enough, put them entirely in your mouth and suck on them gently.

Try a Pinky: Some guys love anal play, while others don’t know they love until you try it out on them, and some consider it a Do Not Enter zone. If he’s an anal play virgin, start slow with a lubricated pinky finger to massage the outside of his anus first to see how he likes it. Ask him if you can go in and tell him you’ll go gently. If he’s really into it, go deeper and faster and use your bigger forefinger, or two fingers. Be sure to take the cues from him instead of just jamming it in there.

The Finishing Line: Mixing it up will eventually lead to that sweet spot where he just wants you to keep doing that one thing. Listen to him at that point, as he’s likely on the brink of coming. Guys often ask, “Where do you want me to come?” Tell him, “Anywhere you want.” Really, though, the options here are usually just in the condom or he might want rip the condom off and come on your boobs. If you’re not into facials, tell him upfront!

Have fun! Be safe!

Steak & BJ day 2

* top photo from elitedaily.com

Chocolate to Sex Up Your Holidays

By
Dr. Ava Cadell
-

If you’re planning to have a holiday party, be sure to include chocolate or take a box for the host or hostess, as chocolate can increase sex drive and sexual satisfaction. According to a study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, just one cube of chocolate a day can raise your libido!

You can even use individually wrapped chocolates as game pieces to make your board game even more fun.

If you just want to share this aphrodisiac with your lover, then hide a dab of chocolate sauce on your body while your lover is blindfolded and tell them to find it using only their tongue. Or give them a sensual massage using some edible chocolate flavored body cream.

To sex up a home cooked dinner, for desert feed each other a variety of chocolate treats as a prelude to making love.

Still not convinced that this deeply rich, flavorful substance is associated with love?

Here’s some history that might convince you otherwise.

When the Aztecs drank chocolate back in the fifteenth century, they believed in its power to elevate sexual power and vitality, likely because of its calming serotonin properties and mild stimulant effect. They would offer it to newlywed couples at wedding ceremonies, and use it as an aphrodisiac.

After the Spanish brought it back to Europe in the sixteenth century and added sugar and butter, a whole new world of chocolaty delights was born and became abundant around the world for consumers.

By the 20th century chocolate was being produced in millions of different forms to titillate our taste buds.

Why chocolate is good for the body:

Chocolate is good for your physical health as it offers the same health benefits as vegetables and fruits, namely flavonoids that act as anti-oxidants. These same flavonoids also produce nitric oxide, which can help to reduce high blood pressure and lower the “bad” LDL cholesterol. Chocolate also contains theobromine that can increase heart rate and contribute to overall heart health.

You may be interested to know that chocolate cocoa has eight times the number of antioxidants found in strawberries.

Chocolate is also rich in vitamins such as B1, B2, D & E, as well as potassium and magnesium, so it does a body good.

How chocolate works on the mind:

Eating chocolate can increase the pleasure center of our brain and links to the positive experiences via the hippocampus as it possesses phenylethylamine, part of a group of chemicals called endorphins, which make us feel like we are on a natural high!

Chocolate also releases neurotransmitters such as Dopamine and Serotonin that can work as an anti-depressant and make us feel like we are happier or even in love!

The caffeine found in chocolates can act as a stimulant to make you feel more energetic or awake, so it’s a great foreplay food that can help boost your energy and focus on making passionate love to your lover.

chocolatefountain
Try a chocolate fountain at your holiday party this year!

The Lowdown On Lust, Love, Romance, Desire, Passion & Intimacy

By
Dr. Ava Cadell
-

Love is easily one of the most complicated human experiences. It fully occupies our emotions, bodies and minds, and has many different incarnations. It can be confusing to navigate the world of human desire – from one-night-stands to committed relationships, nervous flirting to ‘comfort zone’ intimacy – and then there’s always the question of whether our partners feel the same way.

To alleviate some of the confusion, I’ve outlined some emotional and physical cues here to help you determine what you’re looking for or where your relationship is now. It’s related to my F.A.C.E.S. stages of relationships, which you can find in depth in my book Neuroloveology. Fascination, Adventure, Comfort, Energy & Success each come with their own unique cocktail of brain chemicals that give you a heady rush or a sense of deep bonding, depending on the stage.

Like Robert Sternberg’s “triangular theory of love,” which identifies Intimacy, Passion & Commitment as the three main components of love, it’s this interweaving of sexuality, emotional bonding and long-term attachment that make up a fully successful romantic relationship. However you label it, the main ingredients remain the same, and they govern our love lives. Read on to find out what’s happening to your emotions and your brain chemicals at each phase of love.

Romance is when –

  • You feel butterflies when you talk or see each other.
  • You want to do things to make each other happy.
  • You want to understand his or her mind and what makes it tick.
  • You want to spend as much time together as possible.
  • Your brain is reacting to pheromones, triggering attraction.

Desire is when –

  • You having a longing for another.
  • You want to experience a romantic and sexual journey together.
  • Your curiosity and erotic imagination for each other is fertile.
  • You can experience erotic connection together and separately.
  • Your body releases androgens (like testosterone) and / or estrogens, causing arousal to blossom.

Lust is when –

  • You have a longing for sex to fulfill your emotions.
  • You feel so horny you just want to get laid by someone.
  • You experience intense erotic fantasies with another.
  • Your ultimate goal is sexual satisfaction and fulfillment.
  • Your Desire ‘cocktail’ continues to arouse, adding in Nitric Oxide, which increases blood flow to the genitals.

Passion is when –

  • You intensely want someone physically and emotionally.
  • You create mystery and have confidence individually and together.
  • You have fun, laugh, and create surprises, novelty and playfulness.
  • You make love creatively and focus on each other’s pleasure.
  • Adrenaline is making you feel “madly in love.”

Intimacy is when –

  • You are comfortable sharing everything without any fear.
  • You show each other appreciation through words and actions.
  • You make a commitment to each other.
  • When your two hearts feel like one!
  • Your brain releases oxytocin, the bonding chemical.

Love is when –

  • You have a strong feeling of affection for another.
  • You want your beloved to express their love with words and actions.
  • Your partner brings out intimate communication, touching, kissing and spiritual connection within you.
  • You have the five ingredients of friendship, respect, trust, communication and passion for your love to last.
  • Your brain releases oxytocin (the bonding chemical) and vasopressin, the long-term commitment hormone.

It’s not rocket science, but it is scientific. Each stage of love delivers new sensations and experiences, and each one sparks a unique set of reactions in you and your partner. It’s all there for you to enjoy to the fullest.

I’m often asked about desire, what role it plays in relationships, and how to know what’s healthy on the spectrum of love, lust and intimacy. One quick exercise I give is to finish the sentences below, and then see for yourself if that fits your emotional and mental wellbeing. There are no wrong answers. I have filled in some possible responses to give you an idea of how to start.

I feel desirous when…

  • I love my body.
  • I feel confident.
  • I use my imagination.
  • When someone gives me compliments, etc.,

I turn off my desire when…

  • I don’t feel worthy to receive love or sexual pleasure.
  • When I feel judged, rejected or abandoned, etc.

Getting to know what you find sexy and what turns you on allows you to more easily find the partner that meets your sexual needs. And the best part is, you can create sentences like this about every stage of your relationship – from lust to intimacy – and create your unique love story and of course, happy ending!

Erika Jordan’s “Advice For Men” The Best Online Dating Bio!

By
Erika Jordan
-

At this point virtual dating is the only game in town. Those that know me know that online dating is my preferred method of meeting potential suitors. But with the current situation your online dating profile; which sites you choose, what pictures you post are the most important item in the dating world. Your online dating profile can make or break your love life. So let’s make sure your love life is something to be proud of and step up your online bio. World renowned dating expert Erika Jordan is here to get you the best online dating bio ever.

If you find success and things calm down enough for face to face dating you may need a little help getting over the hump. Erika Jordan can help you here also with 4 Ways To Get To The Second Date

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

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