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How To Negotiate With The Guy Who Doesn’t Like To Wear Condoms

By
Anka Radakovich
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There are 19 million STD’s reported to the CDC every year, and a whopping half of them are reported by 15-25-year-olds. How did that happen? Somehow the old line “When I wear a condom I can’t feel anything” has resurfaced, along with higher rates of STD’s. The worst line I heard from someone trying to have sex with me without a condom was “My last girlfriend didn’t make me wear one.” In a perfect world. we should not have to negotiate this issue; if someone wants someone else to wear a condom before sex, they should do so out of respect.

For anyone in this situation, I recommend saying “Put this on your wang if you wanna bang!” Or “Put this on your willy, silly.” If he doesn’t get the hint by this point, then say “Okay then, you’re not getting laid. Like ever.” I promise it will on his schlong in seconds. And make him give you a massage first to get you back in the mood.

There are so many condoms out there, including super thin, but strong polyurethane condoms that feel natural, and Extra Large ones for monster dicks, so there is no excuse anymore for saying that condoms don’t feel good. Studies have also shown that using a condom with lube increases the pleasure for both men and women. So lube it up and get it on.  koituskitKoitus Kit offers a mini safe sex “kit” that fits into a back pocket or purse–in case you get lucky and don’t even want to think about having regretful, unsafe sex. It features two condoms, two wipes, and a toothbrush. Great for spontaneous hook-ups, camping, or the upcoming Burning Man.

Erika Jordan’s Advice For Men Best Questions To Ask A Girl

By
Erika Jordan
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You know women like to talk, But do you know what questions to ask her? Erika Jordan wants to help you with that! No matter if she’s your girlfriend or a girl you just met these questions tend to evoke a positive response. They will help you get or keep the girl.

What makes you feel special?

If you could quit your job and pursue your passion what would you do?

Who is the biggest influence in your life?

What’s a fun fact about you that I don’t know yet?

Not only are these great conversation starters but if you take proper notes it’ll help you navigate the relationship. Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

To keep up with latest advice from Erika Jordan follow our YouTube channel and check out The Playmate Pickup podcast.

What Is Your Love Language? The 5 Love Languages

By
Erika Jordan
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We all receive and show love in different ways. It is in our best interest to understand and be aware of our partner’s and our own love languages.

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

The love languages, from the book “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” by Gary Chapman, are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

Each individual has at least one language that they prefer above the others and this is where it gets interesting. Your partner might show love by making you breakfast. But perhaps your love language is physical touch. You feel neglected because she didn’t stay in bed and cuddle.  A simple shift in your awareness would have prevented this issue when in theory both of you just wanted to show and receive love. Let us break down the various love languages.

1. Words of Affirmation. These are any spoken or written words that confirm, support, uplift, and empathize with another person in a positive manner.

2. Acts of Service. This involves doing something for your partner that you know they would like. Such as filling up their gas, watering their plants, or cooking them a meal. When you give Acts of Service, you give up your time.

3. Receiving Gifts. That brings us to receiving gifts which is obviously a no brainer. The gifts likely work best when thoughtful. They don’t have to be expensive to be effective.

4. Quality Time. Is the love language that centers around togetherness. It is all about expressing your love and affection with your undivided attention. When you’re with your partner, you put down the cell phone, turn off the tablet, and focus on them.

5. Physical Touch. This is more about intimacy. It could be holding hands, laying your head on your partner’s shoulder, a massage or simply a hug.

We might not receive love the way we show it either so just because we use physical touch to show love doesn’t mean that’s how we best receive it. Maybe you have insecurity issues and feel most at ease when your partner often reminds you how much they love and appreciate you.. aka words of affirmation. Whatever the case may be it is in your best interest to understand your own love language and that of your partner! Miscommunication is the leading cause of discontentment and often times it could have been easily avoided with a few conversations and mindfulness.

If you’re relying on the universe bringing you some kind of effortless love in which your partner just happens to receive and give love the same way as you then you are denying yourself an opportunity for growth. Even if you find that perfect person you’ll get to a fork in the road sooner or later and communication and empathy will be required. Love isn’t an effortless adventure. It is an adventure both parties agree to go on that requires overcoming obstacles and hard work. That does not mean it is not also magical and effortless.. at times. If it was consistently effortless you would likely get bored anyway. All great things require work to attain and maintain.

This a good time to back up and think of a most important skill, active listening. Check out Erika Jordan’s Advice For Men – Skills.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Today’s Dating Tips To Avoid Tomorrow’s Drama

By
Anka Radakovich
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This is a public service announcement for girls who date guys. If I were still in my 20’s, these are the three things I would have told myself after the first date, which would have saved me the trouble of entering into a relationship that showed all the signs of being trouble. All of these presented themselves on the first date, when red flags were waving in my face. But I ignored them, basically because I thought the guy was “cute.” You’ve done it. Don’t do it.

1.) “Never date a man who hates his mother,” according to my Mother. She suggests that a good question to ask on a first date is “How do you get along with your mother?” This way you find out if he’s a loving, well adjusted person or a complete psycho. If he says “Not very well, she was controlling,” or anything in that vein, run for your freaking life, and don’t let him run after you trying to control you.

2.) Don’t sleep with a guy on the first date. If he really pushes you to sleep with him an hour after you’ve met, he is one of the following: married, “in a relationship,” or a male slut. I know hooking up is supposed to be cool, but please, get to know someone a bit; courtship is the fun part. The more you sleep with someone you just met, the less chance he will call you back. Like, ever. However, if you really don’t want him to call you back after you just jumped in bed with him, disregard this advice and sleep with him immediately.

3.) Don’t be all T.M.I. Don’t tell him too much or anything on the first date he can use against you. Be mysterious. I know it’s really hard to be mysterious when you’re revealing everything including your ass crack on your Instagram and Facebook, but be more mysterious in general. This also goes for revealing the details of your sexual activities to co-workers. I once made the mistake of telling an editor at Details that I got finger-banged in the back of a taxi by another co-worker, and he made sure to tell everyone in the office. The guy I started dating wouldn’t date me anymore and was forever re-named “Tommy Hilfinger.”

Photo by taxiforcupid

10 Timeless Dating Tips

By
Dr. TaMara Griffin
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Maybe you haven’t dated in a while, or a long while, and you feel left out of online dating trends and social media navigation. Or maybe you’re a savvy dater with profiles all over the Internet, sexting and tweeting your latest lover like a pro. Either way, there are some dating tips that just don’t go out of style.

1. Don’t Compromise Your Core Values Just For A Date!

Don’t settle. Do not waver when it comes to your core values and beliefs. Compromising core values and beliefs will end in disaster and regret of having gone on a string of unsatisfying dates. Establish your boundaries right at the beginning of any date to set a tone of confidence and mutual respect. If you have essential differences that can’t be bridged, don’t pretend it’s fine. It’s not, and you don’t need to waste time confirming this again and again.

2. Don’t Be Afraid To Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

When we stay inside our perfect, nice and neat little boxes, we tend to miss out on the adventures of life! Life is meant to be lived, and sometime that means stepping outside our comfort zone and dancing with the unknown. Now let’s be clear, I am not suggested that you place yourself in harm’s way, but I am suggesting that you expand your horizons to try something different. Go new places and explore new things! Is there a gallery or museum you’ve been meaning to check out? A gym you’ve ‘almost’ joined a hundred times? Do it. Make a change and feel the power of your new energy. Develop a new mantra…vive la différence!

3. Be Honest With Yourself And Others

Be clear with your dating intentions. Ask yourself the following questions: 1) Am I dating to have fun? or 2) Am I dating for commitment? Based on your honest answer, you can then approach dating with clarity. Whatever your answer is, it’s ok. Just be upfront with yourself and your potential suitors. Trust me, no one likes the old bait and switch. In addition, this helps you weed out the individuals who do not have the same dating desires. If your dating desire is to find a potential life partner, choose to date only people who express that same desire. Remember, you can’t change people, so don’t set yourself up for failure.

4. Don’t B.S.!

Be yourself. Do not, I repeat, do not send your representative on YOUR date. Show up as your authentic self each and every time. This way your date has the opportunity to get to know the real you. And besides, trying to be someone or something that you’re not requires way too much brainpower and work. Why waste time trying to create this illusion or persona that your date may or may not like? If you present as yourself, then you don’t have to spend time trying to figure out who your date is really interested in, you or your alter ego.

5. Try A Dating Site

This one is for the ‘it’s been a while…’ daters. Yes it’s true, Internet dating is now a ‘timeless tip.’ And here’s another newsflash for you: the traditional methods of dating are becoming extinct, and it just might be a good thing! Good ole technology has created a dating pool that is easily accessible, and frequently makes excellent matches. Get a dating-savvy friend – or maybe your daughter or son! – to help you with your profile, and watch the possibilities pour in.

6. Ditch “The list”

Often times we talk ourselves out of the perfect date because we are being extremely judgment, overly critical or too skeptical. There’s nothing wrong with dating active Stop creating an unrealistic list that no one, including yourself, can ever live up to. It’s certainly ok to have core values and ideal characteristics that you want in a potential mate, but it’s also equally important to be flexible enough to allow for imperfections. For example, things like ‘kindness’ and ‘generosity’ are important. Hair color? Not so much. Decide what’s really important and non-negotiable and throw the rest of the “stuff” out the window or else you will end up spending the rest of your life with your list.

7. Would You Date Yourself?

Ask yourself this question. If the answer is no or if you’re hesitant in your response, then you have some work to do before you begin dating. Oftentimes we have expectations of others that we cannot even meet ourselves. Or we’re so broken from our past that we haven’t taken the time to heal properly. In either case, it’s important to pause for the cause. It’s not fair to take all of your baggage and drop it right in your date’s lap. What I suggest to my clients is to date yourself. Learn who you are and what you like first. Be sure that you’re ready to start fresh. Remember we draw unto to us the very same energy we put out. So, if you’re putting out mess, then that’s exactly what you’ll receive in return.

8. Stop Looking For Love In A Nightclub!

I’m not saying that it’s impossible, but the nightclub is probably not the best place to find a date. People hang out in night clubs and bars for two reasons: 1) to hang out with friends or 2) to find a random “hook up.” Now, if you’re in the market for a night of random indiscretions, then the nightclub may be the place for you. However if you’re looking for something little more substantial, try looking for potential dates in places that truly interest you, or where you can find people who share a commonality. For example, if you’re a jazz aficionado, try frequenting a vintage record store or concerts in the park. This is a much more likely venue to meet your potential mate.

9. Dating Is NOT Synonymous With Sex

Somewhere along the trajectory of the last few decades, dating became “hooking up,” which became synonymous with casual sex. Dating in its true essence is an intentional process that involves getting to know one another in a friendship context while assessing one’s suitability as a potential partner. Sex is not a requirement for that. It’s certainly your choice to engage in casual sex if you consent, however, please be aware of the intended and unintended consequences. Be forewarned that casual sex does not come without a cost: physical, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, energetically, biochemically, socially, etc.

10. It’s Ok To Excuse Yourself

Never allow yourself to stay in a dating situation that makes you uncomfortable. It is totally acceptable to excuse yourself and end the date. If you are on a date and you feel uncomfortable, politely find a way to excuse yourself and exit stage left. And if the date was extremely questionable, find a way to remove the person from your dating line up all together. When in doubt, follow your gut. When people show you who they are, believe it!

While these tips will not guarantee that you will never have the date from hell, they can definitely take some guess work out of the equation and keep you on a promising path. Learn to embrace the joy of showing up authentically each time, and you’ll start to love the dating process. Of course, that is when the perfect mate will appear.

5 Ways Guys Blow It After A First Date

By
Carrie Borzillo
-

Most guys hate being told what to do. But, whether you like it or not, gentlemen, there are still some rules and etiquette that women would really, really like you to follow – especially after a great first date.

Men often do things that drive us a little batty after we’ve enjoyed a great dinner, engaged in scintillating conversation, felt a mutual connection, and maybe even shared a passionate goodnight kiss. The crazy making is usually due to your less than exemplary post-date communication skills. You might think you’re not doing anything wrong, but women think a little different than men. It’s a cliché, but men really are from Mars and women are from Venus.

So, I’m here to remind you of what we expect, how not to blow it, and what will get you that second date. Mind you, these are not first-date tips. This is all about the follow-up and follow-through after you have a wonderful first date with a woman you actually want to see again.

1. Awkward Goodbyes

Most women find it quite bizarre after the end-of-date kiss, when you simply say, “Goodnight” and walk away. It’s awkward, and confusing to us. If you know you want to see her again, strike while the iron is hot – i.e., while she is still basking in the glow of your presence – and ask her on Date No. 2 before she gets into her car and drives away.

2. Bad Follow-Up

If you didn’t ask her out for that second date at the end of the first date, you should text her that night or the following morning. We don’t find this desperate of you. We find it sweet. Really sweet. Send a simple follow-up text that says something like, “I had a great time. I can’t wait to see you again.” If it was your best date ever, go one step further and lock it in with some specific like this: “I had a great time. Dinner, Saturday, 8 p.m.?” If you want to make her really swoon, go the old-fashioned route and pick up the phone to call her. This isn’t the norm for 2015, but it’s always a welcome surprise that will put a huge smile on her face.

3. Text Back Quicker

It’s a scientific fact that women are better multitaskers than men. This is why we can return texts and emails while also working, getting our nails done, or running errands. Hell, I’ve even returned a text in the shower! We realize men aren’t quite as lickety-split on the texting front. But, it’s crucial if she texts you, text her back the second you see it. Sure, you can be busy. Then a simple, “I’m busy. Talk later?” is welcome. Otherwise she might think you are playing games or just not that into her. Showing interest doesn’t mean you are chasing after her. It will actually set you apart from most of the men women date.

4. Premature Hook Up

Be careful not to go from 0-60 too fast…even if you had mind-blowing sexual chemistry or hooked up on a first date. (I don’t recommend that, by the way, but it happens). So, unless you met her on Tinder and she’s made it clear that she’s not looking for a relationship, do not booty call her for a second date. And, do not send a “dick pic” unless she asks for one.

5. Last Minute Plans

Guys might think we’re playing games when we refuse a last-minute date. But, really?! It’s presumptuous and rude to think you can call a girl on a Saturday to ask her out for THAT same night. We do have a life too and like to plan ahead a bit. Personally, I sometimes need a little time to get some primping appointments in, like nails, hair, or waxing. It’s hard to do that on short notice. Remember: A man with a plan is attractive to women. Try to plan at least ahead by a few days. But once you are boyfriend/girlfriend, spontaneity and last-minute dates are more than A-Okay, and can make for an exciting time together.

Asking For Consent

By
Erika Jordan
-

With the me too movement some men have become gun shy and no longer understand clearly what consent entails so today let’s talk about What is consent?

Consent is a voluntary, enthusiastic, and clear agreement between the participants to engage in sexual activity. Period.

There is no room for different views on this. People incapacitated by drugs or alcohol cannot consent. If she’s slurring that she wants to have sex it’s now your job to think for both of you and politely decline. If she can’t walk a straight line or speak a coherent sentence she isn’t capable of agreeing to sex. 

If clear, voluntary, coherent, and ongoing consent is not given, it’s sexual assault. There aren’t different rules for people who’ve hooked up before.

Nonconsensual sex is rape.

Consent is clear and unambiguous. Is your partner enthusiastically engaging in sexual activity? Have they given verbal permission for each sexual activity? Then you have clear consent.

Silence is not consent. Never assume you have consent — you should clarify by asking. Once you start kissing your way down her stomach and she freezes don’t assume it’s because she’s impressed with your skills. Look up at her and ask her if she wants you to go down on her. 

You should have permission for every activity at every stage of a sexual encounter. It’s also important to note that consent can be removed at any time — after all, people do change their minds! If she’s saying yes, yes, yes and then NO!! The previous yeses are irrelevant. 

Failure to recognize that the other person was too impaired to consent is not “drunk sex.” It’s sexual assault. 

Consent should be given freely and willingly. Repeatedly asking someone to engage in a sexual act until they eventually say yes is not consent, it’s coercion.

Consent is required for everyone, including people who are in a committed relationship or married. No one is obliged to do anything they don’t want to do. And being in a relationship doesn’t obligate a person to engage in any type of sexual activity.

It’s important to understand that any type of sexual activity without consent, including touching, fondling, kissing, and intercourse, is a form of sexual assault and may be considered a crime.

Both parties should feel comfortable communicating their needs without feeling fearful. If you’re initiating sex, and you become angry, frustrated, or insistent when your partner declines any sexual activity, this is not okay. Reminding her of nice things you’ve done in the past just makes you a dick. And means everything you did was laced with ulterior motives.

Sexual or nonsexual activity that occurs because of fear, guilt, or pressure is coercion — and it’s a form of sexual assault. If you’re engaging in sexual activity and the person declines to go further or seems hesitant, stop for a moment and ask them if they’re comfortable doing that activity or if they want to take a break.

Let them know you don’t want to do anything they don’t feel 100 percent comfortable with, and that there’s no harm in waiting and doing something else.

In any sexual encounter, it’s the responsibility of the person initiating sexual activity to ensure that the other person feels comfortable and safe.

You might worry that asking for consent is going to be a total mood killer, but the alternative — not asking for consent and potentially sexually assaulting someone — is unacceptable.

Consent doesn’t mean having to sit down for a clinical discussion or signing forms! There are ways to ask for consent that aren’t a total buzzkill.

Besides, if you’re comfortable enough to want to get closer, then you should be comfortable enough to ask for consent. 

My six week course Playmate Pickup is now available at Playmatepickup.com with personalized

6 Rules For Safe Online Dating

By
Carrie Borzillo
-

Sometimes having the flu has its advantages. When I was laid up with a fever and stuck on the couch all day, I binge-watched a television show that I believe has kept me out of the trunk of a guy’s car. The docu-series Investigation Discovery’s “Web of Lies” tells real-life horror stories of online dating gone bad, like, really bad – from stalking and identity theft to rape, murder, and even torture.

The show scared me straight when it comes to my own personal rules for online dating. Now, mind you, these rules stand for dating a stranger that you meet on a dating site or app. If you meet a man through friends or work, there’s little need to be this protective. And, yes, some people call me paranoid for these safety nets, but as cliché as it maybe: It’s really better to be safe than sorry!

Rule No. 1: Protect Your Privacy

I don’t give my date my last name until it’s clear I want to pursue a relationship with him. Some guys find this off-putting, but, frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn. I simply tell them, “Look. If I give you my last name, you’ll Google me and know more about me than you should before a first date.” I believe in getting to know someone the crazy way: Talking…in person. Before I made this rule, I gave a guy my last name and Googled the heck out of me. He used what he found (my favorite artists, music, movies) to make it seem like we had a lot in common, which made me like him more. He later fessed up that he did indeed “research” me. The other reason to keep your last name hush-hush for a bit is it’s just too easy to find out where someone lives and the restaurants/bars/clubs that you check-in at on Facebook, and this is just offering yourself up on a silver platter to a potential stalker.

Rule No. 2: Vet Your Date

Now, here’s where it’s not fair — but safety trumps hypocrisy here. If your date offers up his last name, absolutely Google the heck out of him! But don’t do it to create the cheat sheet of bonding like my date did. You want to look for red flags, such as arrests and lawsuits, and you also want to try to verify if what he’s told you so far (i.e., his marital status, job, etc.) is legit. Don’t tell him you Googled him, though. He might think you’re the psycho.

Rule No. 3: Meet There

Don’t let him pick you up. You don’t want a potential psycho knowing where you live and you certainly wouldn’t let a stranger into your home. It’s also a good idea to pick a restaurant or bar in a neighborhood you are familiar with, but not your favorite local spot. If you end up blowing him off after a date or two, and he has any stalker-tendencies, you don’t want him showing up at your favorite Happy Hour unannounced.

Rule No. 4: Tell a Friend

I live alone and I work from home. And, often times when I’m on deadline, I will hole up for days without talking to my friends. It’s sad to say, but the reality is if I ended up missing, it would take a little longer to find me than someone with a roommate or an actual job they are expected at every day. So, every time I go on a date with a stranger I met on a dating site, I give a friend the details – his name, where we’re going, and a link to his dating profile. I text my friend when I’m home safely.

Rule No. 5: Take a Photo

We’ve all had occasional one-night stand or have slept with a guy a first date. I think this is a big no-no when you are looking for a relationship and I’m certainly not promoting it. But we’re only human and, well, sex happens. I had this momentary lapse in judgment, so before I took him home (for the record, we dated for four months after our sexy first date) I asked if I could take a photo of his driver’s license. He hesitated at first, fearing I would steal his identity. But this was a deal-breaker for me and he acquiesced. I emailed the photo to a friend – just in case. I know it sounds crazy and is awkward to ask, but it might just save you from getting dumped in the desert one day. Ideally, though, don’t take a strange guy home on a first date!

Rule No. 6: Don’t Connect on Social Media:

Some dating apps let you connect via your social media sites. Don’t do this. It’s for the same reason you don’t want to give out your last name or place of employment. I have decided to not even become friends on Facebook or follow each other on Twitter and Instagram until we are in a monogamous relationship because if the shit hits the fan, I don’t want to get cyberstalked! That said, if his dating profile is connected to his social media, use it to your advantage. See if you have mutual friends and then grill your pal about him before your big date.

*picture from rantlifestyle.com

Six Steps To Integrity In Dating

By
Claudia Six
-

Erotic Integrity® may not be the first thing on your mind as you approach your first, second or third date with someone, but getting laid might be. To set yourself up for success in your sexual, as well as romantic, life, consider the following SIX points:

  1. Be clear about the kind of relationship you’re looking for. If you’re looking for a bootie call or a fuckbuddy, that’s absolutely fine. But don’t pretend to be looking for a spouse. Your date may be happy to jump your bones with no commitment. Just don’t misrepresent your intentions. If you are not monogamous, don’t pretend to be. Let the other person make an informed choice about who you are and the type of relationship you’re available for. It’ll avoid both of you the heartache of infidelity later. And if you’re looking for a long term relationship, the love of your life whom you want to skip off into the sunset with, say so. Don’t downplay the kind of relationship you want because you don’t think you can have it. You can! I’m a firm believer that you can design a relationship that may not fit societal norms, but that fits for you. Many older people want a companion who has their own separate home down the street or in the next town.
  2. Know what you want sexually…other than some sex, which may be more than you’ve been getting if you’ve been single for a while. I mean more specifically, know what your turn-ons are. If you’re into women of Rubenesque proportions, leave the skinny chicks for someone else. If you’re into BDSM, don’t pick a vanilla lover. If you’re bisexual, figure out how you’re going to have that fit into your relationship. Do you date a straight person, a gay person, a bi person, a non-monogamous person? If you have a fetish for high heels on your lover’s feet, put that in your online ad, so that the Birkenstock wearers know you’re not a fit for them. Part of Erotic Integrity is knowing yourself.
  3. Reveal yourself, gently, to your potential partner. Drop hints about your proclivities and preferences. Mention places where you hang out (nude beaches), or that you find objectionable (swing clubs). Does your date respond with a sexy knowing smile, enthusiasm, lustful glee, distaste, incomprehension, fear…? If you’re into bondage and you didn’t meet your date at the Folsom street Fair in San Francisco, ask how it might be if you tied her up with sewing thread. Another aspect of Erotic Integrity is owning who you are as an erotic being, showing up authentically, and being accountable for your proclivities, not in a defensive way but in an embracing way.
  4. Talk openly, or as openly as you can. If you and your date are getting along well and moving into increasing sexual contact, you have to be respectful of their health, and yours. If you have trepidation about revealing a health condition such as a herpes diagnosis or other STD, a wooden leg, an innocuous skin rash or some such difficult topic, as my French grandmother used to say: “Just spit it out, at least we’ll see what it is” (“Crache, on verra c’que c’est”.) If your delivery isn’t perfect you can clean it up later. Just get it out. I also recommend having a conversation about what you’d both want to do in the case of an unwanted pregnancy, in addition to the birth control talk. People wait until the situation presents itself, but I think it’s good to know ahead of time what your respective positions are on that. Just in case. It’s good information to have.
  5. Tell your lover how to pleasure you. People don’t read minds, much as we persist in wishing they did. Set both of you up for success.
  6. Live your eroticism. Who are you saving it for? Don’t play it safe. Don’t wait for someone else to validate it. Show up in all your glory and rock your lover’s world as well as your own. There’s a spontaneous feedback loop in sex: when one person is really turned on, the other can ride (so to speak) that energy and it increases their arousal too. The most fun part of Erotic Integrity is living it authentically. To learn more about Erotic Integrity ®, go to http://drsix.net/erotic-integrity/To have your say about Erotic Integrity ®, go to http://drsix.net/erotic-integrity-book/

How Not To Get “Catfished” While Dating Online

By
Anka Radakovich
-

For anyone who meets people through online dating sites, which is now close to half the single (and married but pretending to be single) population, the concept of being “catfished” is just part of the game. It happens everyday.

One online dater, Kerrie Sackville, a journalist in Australia, says she got catfished by a guy using a stock photo! She chatted with the handsome silver fox who told her he was a venture capitalist, but became suspicious when they started emailing back and forth and she noticed he could barely spell. She busted him by using reverse Google image search, that lets you upload the image and see if it has been used elsewhere on the internet. In her case, it was an actor’s head shot that was sold by a photographer to Getty, a stock photo agency.

Catfishing is practiced by both sexes, but women report it happens to them more than men. The gay men I spoke to about this phenomenon say they avoid it altogether by asking the guys they are chatting with to send them a selfie, along with a bunch of recent photos. Like more than a handful. After 8 or 9 photos you can get can an idea of what the person looks like. And I recommend asking for an “ugly photo” — a more unflattering shot with bad lighting, where you can really see what the person looks like. And not the one where he’s wearing a ski mask. This keeps you from being shocked when the person you just spent hours talking to, shows up and looks 20 years older and 30 pounds heavier than his “stock” photo.

 

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