5 Ways Guys Blow It After A First Date

Most guys hate being told what to do. But, whether you like it or not, gentlemen, there are still some rules and etiquette that women would really, really like you to follow – especially after a great first date.

Men often do things that drive us a little batty after we’ve enjoyed a great dinner, engaged in scintillating conversation, felt a mutual connection, and maybe even shared a passionate goodnight kiss. The crazy making is usually due to your less than exemplary post-date communication skills. You might think you’re not doing anything wrong, but women think a little different than men. It’s a cliché, but men really are from Mars and women are from Venus.

So, I’m here to remind you of what we expect, how not to blow it, and what will get you that second date. Mind you, these are not first-date tips. This is all about the follow-up and follow-through after you have a wonderful first date with a woman you actually want to see again.

1. Awkward Goodbyes

Most women find it quite bizarre after the end-of-date kiss, when you simply say, “Goodnight” and walk away. It’s awkward, and confusing to us. If you know you want to see her again, strike while the iron is hot – i.e., while she is still basking in the glow of your presence – and ask her on Date No. 2 before she gets into her car and drives away.

2. Bad Follow-Up

If you didn’t ask her out for that second date at the end of the first date, you should text her that night or the following morning. We don’t find this desperate of you. We find it sweet. Really sweet. Send a simple follow-up text that says something like, “I had a great time. I can’t wait to see you again.” If it was your best date ever, go one step further and lock it in with some specific like this: “I had a great time. Dinner, Saturday, 8 p.m.?” If you want to make her really swoon, go the old-fashioned route and pick up the phone to call her. This isn’t the norm for 2015, but it’s always a welcome surprise that will put a huge smile on her face.

3. Text Back Quicker

It’s a scientific fact that women are better multitaskers than men. This is why we can return texts and emails while also working, getting our nails done, or running errands. Hell, I’ve even returned a text in the shower! We realize men aren’t quite as lickety-split on the texting front. But, it’s crucial if she texts you, text her back the second you see it. Sure, you can be busy. Then a simple, “I’m busy. Talk later?” is welcome. Otherwise she might think you are playing games or just not that into her. Showing interest doesn’t mean you are chasing after her. It will actually set you apart from most of the men women date.

4. Premature Hook Up

Be careful not to go from 0-60 too fast…even if you had mind-blowing sexual chemistry or hooked up on a first date. (I don’t recommend that, by the way, but it happens). So, unless you met her on Tinder and she’s made it clear that she’s not looking for a relationship, do not booty call her for a second date. And, do not send a “dick pic” unless she asks for one.

5. Last Minute Plans

Guys might think we’re playing games when we refuse a last-minute date. But, really?! It’s presumptuous and rude to think you can call a girl on a Saturday to ask her out for THAT same night. We do have a life too and like to plan ahead a bit. Personally, I sometimes need a little time to get some primping appointments in, like nails, hair, or waxing. It’s hard to do that on short notice. Remember: A man with a plan is attractive to women. Try to plan at least ahead by a few days. But once you are boyfriend/girlfriend, spontaneity and last-minute dates are more than A-Okay, and can make for an exciting time together.

Previous articleHappy National Steak & Blowjob Day!
Next articleWhat Is A Sexpert
With her provocative writing style and penchant for in-depth research, Carrie Borzillo has earned renown and respect over her 20 years as a music and entertainment journalist. Her talents and passion for pop culture have also resulted in three critically-acclaimed books: Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day by Day Chronicle (Carlton Books, 2000; re-issued to commemorate the 20th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's passing in 2014 as Nirvana: In the Words of the People Who Were There; Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star (Simon Spotlight Entertainment, 2008), and Tera Patrick's Sinner Takes All: A Memoir of Love and Porn (Gotham/Penguin, 2010). A bona fide rock chick from birth, Carrie started her music journalism career at age 17. She covered the local music scene in her home state of Connecticut before graduating to publications such as Billboard, Spin and RollingStone.com. She has also covered celebrities, television, and music for People, E! Online, Us Weekly, and Teen People, and has penned cover stories for Billboard, TeenPeople, CosmoGirl! and Hit Parader. She has also written about sex advice columns for Gene Simmons’ Tongue magazine, SuicideGirls, and THC Expose magazine, and has appeared as a sexpert on national shows such as “Loveline” with Dr. Drew, Playboy Radio, and others. She currently writes about sex and relationships for Men's Health, Sphere, and others.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here