Photo taken from: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=25765491183064502&set=a.177865215587117
On May 15, 2024, at 8:00 AM EST, immerse yourself in an extraordinary GLOBAL Sound Orgasm Experience like no other. For just $5, you can purchase the link to gain access to our curated erotic song, “Sonic Flow,” intended to evoke sensations of pleasure, intimacy, and connection simultaneously.
Picture this: listeners from around the globe coming together at the same moment, united by the power of sound and shared experience. As the clock strikes 8:00 AM EST, we’ll press play on “Sonic Flow,” a captivating 7-minute, 23-second journey into bliss.
Whether you’re seeking to awaken your senses, deepen your connection with yourself or others, or simply indulge in a moment of pure sonic pleasure, this event promises to be an unforgettable experience.
To secure your spot in this global listening sensation, simply purchase the access link for $5 and mark your calendar for May 15, 2024, at 8:00 AM EST. Let’s come together, across continents and time zones, to revel in the beauty of music and the boundless possibilities of connection.
Don’t miss out on this unique opportunity to be part of something truly special. Reserve your spot now and prepare to be swept away by the magic of “Sonic Flow.”
Fingering shouldn’t be reserved only for the clit and vagina. They may enjoy some anal action too. I say “may” because not every person enjoys anal stimulation. If they do, then anal fingering is a great place to start, before progressing further to full anal sex. If they don’t, then it’s not a biggie, just focus on some other fun orgasm techniques whether that’s oral on the vagina or making them squirt.
Before you jump into it, you need to be aware that the anus doesn’t self-lubricate itself like the vagina does, so you’re going to need some lube. LOTS of it. Saliva will usually work but is less sanitary and dries out quicker. Keep the lubricant nearby in case you do need to drop on some more. Coat your finger and the outside of the anus with some lube, then slowly press your lubed finger into the rectum and lube up that space.
The person needs to be aroused. All orgasms are stifled if the arousal level is not high enough. You need to get the hormones and chemical’s that play a role in the orgasm process activated and that happens through arousal. Make sure to take it extra slow and listen to their feedback. The sphincter takes a while to relax, so if you force your finger inside of it before it’s relaxed, then it’s going to hurt them. Instead, you should maintain a soft pressure to allow their sphincter to relax around your finger. Once it does, then you can slowly push it in and around. Try not to go in and out unless you are asked for it. While fingering anally, you can also rub the clit with your spare hand for extra stimulation.
Important – Fingering shouldn’t be reserved only for the clit and vagina and do not touch their vagina after fingering them anally. You will be bringing bacteria from the anus to the vagina which will risk them getting bacterial vaginosis or something worse. Wash your hand(s) thoroughly after any anal action. This also applies to anything else you put in the rectum.
The Vital Role of Sex Therapy in Body Image and Intimacy
#EmbracingYourEroticBlueprint
As a clinical sexologist, I’ve encountered countless individuals who grapple with the intricate web of body image concerns and the impact these have on their sexual well-being. In a society that often reduces sexuality to mere physical attributes, it’s crucial to recognize the profound influence that our perceptions of self have on our intimate lives.
There is the transformative power of professional counseling and therapy in addressing body image issues, the importance of understanding sexual anatomy and function, and the essential role partners play in fostering a supportive and communicative sexual relationship.
Body image is a multifaceted construct that encompasses our thoughts, feelings, and perceptions about our own bodies. It’s influenced by a myriad of factors, including cultural standards, personal experiences, and societal messaging.
When it comes to sexuality, body image plays a pivotal role in how we relate to ourselves and our partners during intimate encounters. Negative body image can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and even avoidance of sexual activity, which can strain relationships and diminish overall quality of life.
Professional counseling and therapy offer a safe and confidential space for individuals to explore and address their body image concerns. A clinical sexologist can provide specialized guidance that combines psychotherapy with sex therapy techniques, tailored to the unique needs of each client.
Through this process, clients can:
Unpack and Challenge Negative Beliefs: by examining the origins of their body image issues, clients can begin to dismantle harmful thought patterns and replace them with more affirming narratives.
Cultivate Self-Compassion: learning to treat oneself with kindness and understanding is a critical step in healing one’s relationship with one’s body.
Enhance Sexual Confidence: through various therapeutic interventions, clients can build confidence in their sexual desirability and capabilities, independent of societal ideals.
Develop Coping Strategies: therapy equips clients with practical tools to manage anxiety and self-consciousness both in and out of the bedroom.
A cornerstone of sexual well-being is the knowledge and appreciation of one’s sexual anatomy and its functions. This understanding can empower individuals to make informed decisions about their sexual health and pleasure.
In therapy, clients are encouraged to:
Learn About Their Bodies: through education and exploration, clients gain insight into the intricacies of their sexual responses, arousal patterns, and pleasure pathways.
Communicate Preferences and Boundaries: knowledge of one’s own body equips individuals to articulate their desires and limits to their partners effectively.
Embrace Variability: recognizing that sexual anatomy and function vary widely can help normalize diverse sexual expressions and experiences.
Partners play a critical role in creating an environment where open communication and emotional support are prioritized. In the context of body image concerns, partners can:
Offer Validation and Reassurance: regular affirmations of attractiveness and worth can help counteract negative self-perceptions.
Practice Active Listening: being present and attentive during discussions about body image can foster a deeper connection and understanding between partners.
Engage in Empathetic Dialogue: encouraging conversations about insecurities and fears can bridge the gap between partners and promote mutual support.
Collaborate on Solutions: working together to find strategies that enhance comfort and pleasure during sex can strengthen the relationship and benefit both partners.
Body image issues can cast a long shadow over one’s sexual self-esteem and intimate relationships. However, through the guidance of a clinical sexologist and the unwavering support of a partner, individuals can embark on a journey of self-discovery, healing, and empowerment.
Therapy not only provides the tools to navigate these complex issues but also illuminates the path to a fulfilling and joyous sexual life.
Remember, the essence of our erotic selves transcends physical form; it is rooted in our capacity to connect, to pleasure, and to love—ourselves and others.
If you or someone you know is struggling with body image and its impact on their sexuality, seek professional help. The path to self-acceptance and sexual liberation is within reach, and the rewards of this journey are boundless.
Embrace your erotic blueprint and let the light of understanding and compassion guide you toward a life of sexual fulfillment and intimate connection. I stand at the ready! (debrashade.youcanbook.me) #shadesoasis #pleasure
An orgasm meditation is very calming and relaxing. That storm of hormones and chemicals that are produced through AROUSAL leads to the pleasure of release. Orgasm mediation is the matter of being still and calm before starting to stimulate yourself or with a mate, go through motions of stimulation through the orgasm and at that moment, take the time to have your breath go from panting to slow intakes and long releases. Eyes open or close, continue to breathe and you will become calmer.
Visualize how relaxed your body is. Note your neck and the lack of tension in it, move to your shoulders, let them rest into the support you are leaning against. Your forearms, hands, fingers. Take the evaluation through your body as you are breathing in deep belly breathes and letting out long exhales. Imagine that air flowing freely through your relaxed body. Your arousal may return as you are noting your body in a new way. A softer way. Orgasm meditation is a method training your attention and awareness to achieve a mentally clear, emotional calm state of being that allows you to mindfully remain in that state when you stand up.
The Golden Path to Swinging: Navigating the Do’s and Don’ts
The world of swinging is an enticing and adventurous realm where consenting adults explore their sexuality in a shared space. It’s a lifestyle that has evolved over the years, offering a variety of experiences from soft swaps to full exchanges. For those ready to take the plunge or for seasoned swingers looking to refine their experiences, let illuminate the path to a fulfilling swinging journey.
A World Beyond Monogamy
Swinging, often referred to as “the lifestyle,” is a non-monogamous activity that couples and singles engage in to add spice to their sex lives. It can range from watching and being watched to full sexual intercourse with others. Understanding the different levels of swinging is crucial:
Soft Swap:Involves everything but sexual intercourse, such as kissing, fondling, and oral sex with someone other than your partner.
Full Swap:Engaging in sexual intercourse with another couple or individual, with the consent and often the participation of your partner.
Communication is Key: The Heart of Swinging Etiquette
The cornerstone of any successful swinging experience is open and honest communication. It’s vital to discuss your desires, boundaries, and expectations with your partner and any potential playmates. Here are some essential communication strategies:
Be Clear About Your Limit*:Before engaging in any swinging activity, have a candid conversation about what is and isn’t acceptable for both you and your partner.
Check-In Regularly:Consent is not a one-time conversation. It’s important to check in with each other throughout the experience to ensure everyone is comfortable and enjoying themselves.
Use Safe Words: Establish a safe word or signal that can be used to indicate discomfort or the desire to stop an activity immediately.
The Do’s and Don’ts of Swinging
To ensure a respectful and pleasurable experience, adhere to the following guidelines:
Do’s:
Respect Boundaries:Always honor the boundaries set by others, as well as your own. Practice Good Hygiene: Personal cleanliness is a must in any intimate encounter. *Be Discreet:Respect the privacy of others in the lifestyle. What happens in the swinging community should stay there. Engage in Safe Sex:Protect yourself and others by using protection and getting regularly tested for STIs.
Don’ts:
Don’t Pressure Others: Swinging is about mutual consent. Never coerce someone into an activity they’re not comfortable with. Don’t Overindulge:Excessive drinking or drug use can impair judgment and consent. Don’t Be Disrespectful:Always treat others with kindness and respect, regardless of whether you’re interested in playing with them.
Navigating Swinging Events and Venues:
Swinging can take place in various settings, from private parties to exclusive clubs. Here’s how to navigate these spaces:
Dress to Impress:Many venues have dress codes, so make sure to adhere to them. Dressing well can also make a great first impression. Be Social:Swinging events are an excellent opportunity to meet like-minded individuals. Be friendly and open to conversations. Understand the House Rules: Each venue or event will have its own set of rules. Make sure you’re familiar with them to avoid any misunderstandings.
Conclusion: Embrace the Adventure with Care and Respect
Swinging can be a thrilling addition to your love life, offering new experiences and deepening connections with your partner. By following the do’s and don’ts outlined in this guide, you can ensure that your adventures in swinging are both exciting and respectful. Remember, the key to a successful swinging experience is communication, consent, and consideration for everyone involved.
Embark on this journey with an open mind and a respectful heart, and you’ll find that the swinging lifestyle can open doors to a world of pleasure and exploration. Happy swinging!
Choosing anal toys can be a playful pick, but is not a simple task. There are a lot of products on the market, so finding the right one for you may take some time. Here are some suggestions to pluck yours out of the crowd.
There are two types of anal toys. Prostate-specific and inflatable. Flared base toys are a MUST.
Anything that you place up into your rectum should have a flared base that can be held at all times. Many items can be sucked inside of your anus. Your muscles will suck things up into your intestines which could be life threatening. Know that anytime you place something in, it must have a T-shaped base to hold it on the outside.
Prostate-specific toys stimulate the P-spot directly. If you were born with a penis, then chances are, you have a P-spot -the prostate – reached through the anus and perineum stimulation. They are about three inches into the anal canal. On the front wall towards the penis and are the size of a walnut.
This is good to know when selecting the toy’s length. To use a prostate-specific anal toy, you should be entered at an angle to ease discomfort. Once you feel comfortable, let your partner know it is OK to proceed. They should continue to thrust at an angle. You may feel the urge to pee or orgasm. It is impossible to do both, so relax into your orgasm thanks to the PC Muscle.
Inflatable anal toys are an excellent choice for some.
They work like a balloon; you insert them while they are small and then pump them up with air to stretch the sphincters and muscles of the anal canal, putting pressure on the prostrates. Always start by pumping slowly. You do not want to force the anus open or use hard pumps to fill the toy too rapidly. Release the air by using the little valve until it is back to its original size and slide it out gently.
Anus owners can place anal beads in their rectum while being penetrated or receiving a hand job.
They are small to medium-sized balls and are super easy to use. They are a series of ABS plastic or silicone beads that are linked together and are used to stimulate the walls and canal of the anus. The beads start small and grow larger. It is the smallest beads that go in first, press the toy into the anus and remove them when finished.
Vibrating anal beads give you added sensations. Some or all of the beads can vibrate for extra sensations during anal. You should cover these beads in a water-based lube to make insertion smoother and pleasurable every time. Butt plugs can be weighted, vibrating, or non-vibrating cone-shaped toys. If vibrations are too intense you can always use the plug without turning it on until you get used to the sensation.
Vibrating butt plugs help relax the sphincter muscles and stimulate either the Skene’s Glands or prostrates. The vibrations work away muscle tightness and supply extra pleasure to the nerves in and around the anus.
Select a Material
You want to choose the right material for you. There are many options on the market, and you must find what fits your needs. Some points to keep in mind are knowing any allergic reactions to soft materials such as PVC, latex, rubber, jelly, or silicone. You should also be aware of how to sanitize and care for the toy. Firmer materials such as ABS Plastic, glass, metals, or wood to name a few, may not take the same amount of work as softer, flexible toys.
Soft materials are super flexible and move with your body. Some are stiff in the core and covered with a soft material. Firmer materials are used for more direct, pinpointed stimulation. Using a non-porous material that can be polished or coated wood, stainless steel, or aluminum is a great alternative to silicone if need be.
Avoid cheap toys that are porous, which means that bacteria can grow in the toy’s pores. Even cleaning with antibacterial soap or cleaner cannot go deep enough to fully sterilize the toy for future use. Body-safe anal toys are hypoallergenic, non-porous, and phthalate free and have several benefits. They are more hygienic because they are easier to clean and kill growing bacteria.
Silicone is hypoallergenic and free from plastic softening, phthalates that are in PVC, and certain types of rubber. They are firm and usually medical-grade, first-generation silicone.
Silicone is one of the safest forms of rubber that can be inserted. While it is porous, its pores are so small it cannot harbor bacteria. The skin-like texture of silicone allows the toy to offer a true life-like experience. The material warms quickly to body temperature and holds the heat, making it even more pleasurable.
Phthalates should be avoided altogether. They are often in soft or cheap anal toys and can adversely affect the reproductive system. These toys tend to smell like plastic, and it is important to read the packaging and pay attention to the safety icons before using the toy.
Toy Cleaners are specifically made to kill bacteria and clean your toy. You can use warm water and antibacterial soap, but these cleaners are made with the toy in mind. Spray some on the toy, wipe it down with a warm damp cloth, and let it air dry. Most toys should be stored in cool, dry places.
Boiling toys depends on the manufacturer’s guidelines. Heat-resistant anal toys can be sterilized through boiling only if the packaging says so. Submerge your toy in a pot of boiling water for 3 minutes.
Prepping for the myth
Feces does not hang out in the rectum. It is there when you have to void, but if this is the case, the nerves sense this fullness and then tell the brain whether this is due to gas or stool. if you have this feeling – DO NOT proceed with anal until AFTER you poop.
If you so desire, enemas and douches work in the same way. You fill them with lukewarm water, gently squirt the water into your rectum and then sit on a toilet and let nature run its course. A douche holds around a cup’s worth of water, so this choice is easier for a quick rinse of the area once inside your anus.
An enema bag holds anywhere from one cup to around a half gallon. The more water you flush into your body, the more fecal matter will be loosened, so take your time and let your intestines work.
Regardless of your choice, always practice on a day when you do not plan on having anal sex at all. It often takes a few hours for your body to fully flush itself from an anal water cleanse. Once you get the hang of it, use a small amount of water in a douche about 45 minutes to 1 hour before you have sex if you are feeling the need to get extra fresh.
Just a reminder or notice – like most sex toys, sharing them increases your risk of giving or receiving an STI. It is always safer, and it is best if you do not share your anal toys. Bacteria like E. coli and parasites can easily be transmitted through shared toys. If you happen to share, be sure to use a new condom each time.
If this article has left you with questions, feel free to reach out to me at [email protected].
The sensory aspects of cum eating (CEI) are as varied as the individuals who practice it. Semen’s taste and texture can range from sweet to salty, thick to runny. Some enthusiasts experiment with diet and supplements to alter these qualities, enhancing the experience for both the giver and the receiver.
Consistency and volume may be a concern for some. The amount and texture of semen can vary greatly from person to person, which might affect the experience. Some might find the consistency or volume less appealing. Just as the taste and smell can be. Semen can have a bitter, salty, or slightly bleach-like taste, which is not to everyone’s liking. Its smell can also be a turn-off for some individuals.
In many cases, CEI becomes a ritualistic part of sexual play. The buildup to the moment of ejaculation can be drawn out through edging, dirty talk, or other forms of tease and denial. This anticipation often heightens the intensity of the eventual release and consumption.
What is CEI:
CEI is a multifaceted practice that defies simplistic categorization. It’s a complex interplay of power dynamics, intimacy, and humiliation, woven together by the threads of desire and surrender. By embracing this complexity, we can unlock the true potential of CEI, exploring the depths of human sexuality and the intricacies of the human experience.
Let’s delve into the world of cum eating, exploring its significance, benefits, and how to incorporate it into your kink play.
The power exchange in CEI is palpable. The dominant partner wields control over the submissive’s body, dictating when and how the ejaculate is to be consumed. This dynamic can be intensely erotic, reinforcing the roles of each participant in the encounter. Beyond the kink, CEI can foster a profound sense of intimacy.
Sharing such a vulnerable and personal act can strengthen emotional bonds and foster a sense of closeness that transcends the physical realm. CEI isn’t confined to one-on-one interactions. It can be a part of solo masturbation, where one savors their own essence, or within group settings, where multiple partners may share in the experience. Each variation brings its own unique flavor to the practice.
Personal Anecdote:
CEI has brought my partner and me closer together. It’s a way for us to connect on a deeper level, to share in each other’s desires and vulnerabilities. The intimacy is palpable, and the bond we’ve formed is unbreakable. – Michael, 32
Cum eating, also known as creampie eating, is a fascinating aspect of human sexuality that often sparks intense curiosity and desire. For those who identify as kinksters, cum eating can be a powerful tool for exploring submission, humiliation, and intimacy. This is a sexual practice that transcends the mere act of ingestion, it’s an intimate, sometimes taboo, expression of power dynamics, surrender, and pleasure. For many, it’s a core component of their sexual identity and a source of profound erotic satisfaction.
The intricacies of CEI, from its psychological underpinnings to the raw, carnal experiences it entails. Cum eating is often associated with submission, humiliation, and degradation. The act of consuming one’s own semen can be a potent symbol of surrender, allowing the individual to tap into their deepest desires and fears. This fetish can be particularly appealing to those who enjoy being dominated, as it allows them to relinquish control and surrender to their partner’s desires.
Moreover, cum eating can be a form of self-discovery, allowing individuals to confront their own shame and guilt surrounding sexuality. By embracing this taboo activity, kinksters can develop a deeper understanding of their own desires and boundaries, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and authentic sexual experience. It often involves a dominant partner directing the submissive to consume their own ejaculate. This act can be laden with layers of meaning, from the ultimate submission to a deeply intimate connection.
So, what makes cum eating so appealing to kinksters? For starters, it can be an incredibly intimate and personal experience, allowing partners to connect on a deeper level. The act of consuming semen can create a sense of unity and closeness as if the individuals are sharing a secret that only they understand. Cum eating can also be a powerful tool for building trust and communication in a relationship. When partners engage in this activity, they must communicate their desires, boundaries, and preferences, fostering a deeper understanding and connection.
Establish a clear power dynamic: The dominant partner must assert their control, setting the tone for the encounter.
Tease and deny: Edging, dirty talk, or other forms of tease and denial can heighten the anticipation and intensity of the eventual release.
Ejaculate on command: The dominant partner directs the submissive to ejaculate, often with a sense of urgency or humiliation.
Consume the ejaculate: The submissive is forced to consume their own semen, sometimes with humiliating phrases or actions accompanying the act.
So, now I have you interested in exploring cum eating, where do you start? Communication is key, before engaging in cum eating, it’s essential to discuss your desires, boundaries, and preferences with your partner.
Make sure you’re both comfortable with the activity and understand each other’s needs.
Begin with small amounts of semen, gradually increasing the quantity as you become more comfortable with the activity.
Experiment with different techniques and methods of cum eating, such as using your fingers, tongue, or mouth.
Experiment with different textures, temperatures, and sensations to find what works best for you.
Turn cum eating into a ritualistic experience, incorporating elements like bondage, role-playing, or sensory deprivation to enhance the experience.
Cum eating can be seamlessly integrated into various kink play scenarios, adding an extra layer of excitement and intimacy to your encounters. Role-play for instance, by engaging in role-playing scenarios where one partner is the “cum-slave,” forced to consume the semen of their master or mistress. Sensory deprivation combines with cum eating with a blindfold or earplugs, to heighten the sense of intimacy and vulnerability.
Personal Anecdote:
I never thought I’d be into CEI, but my partner’s dominant nature and my own submissive desires made it a natural fit. The first time, I was nervous, but the rush of adrenaline and the sense of surrender were intoxicating. Now, it’s a staple of our sexual routine. – Rachel, 29
CEI often intersects with other kinks and sub-fetishes. Beyond the humiliation aspect, it can foster a profound sense of intimacy. Sharing such a vulnerable and personal act can strengthen emotional bonds and foster a sense of closeness that transcends the physical realm. The power exchange in CEI is palpable. The dominant partner wields control over the submissive’s body, dictating when and how the ejaculate is to be consumed. This dynamic can be intensely erotic, reinforcing the roles of each participant in the encounter.
BDSM: CEI can be a natural extension of BDSM practices, where the dominant partner asserts control over the submissive’s body.
Erotic Humiliation: CEI can be a form of erotic humiliation, where the submissive is forced to confront their own desires and vulnerabilities.
Cuckolding: CEI can be a part of cuckolding scenarios, where the submissive partner is forced to consume the ejaculate of their partner’s lover.
Try these steps:
Establish a connection: The partners must be comfortable with each other, sharing a deep emotional bond.
Create a sensual atmosphere: Soft lighting, gentle music, and a relaxed environment can set the tone for a more intimate experience.
Ejaculate together: The partners can ejaculate simultaneously, heightening the sense of connection and intimacy.
Consume the ejaculate together: The partners can share in the act of consuming each other’s semen, further solidifying their emotional bond.
While cum eating is a popular and often eroticized practice within certain adult content circles, there are some downsides and considerations to keep in mind. Health Risks – if there are any sexually transmitted infections (STIs) present in either partner, consuming semen can transmit these infections. Although semen is generally safe to ingest, there is a risk of allergic reactions in some individuals, known as seminal plasma hypersensitivity.
Consider the nutritional content as a benefit and/or a downside. Semen contains proteins, vitamins, and minerals, the quantities are so small that it is not a viable source of nutrition. This can be a downside for those who might consume it with nutritional expectations. The pressure to perform for a partner or audience can lead to performance anxiety.
Fetish stigmatization is often tied to themes of dominance and submission, and not everyone is comfortable with, or approves of, such power dynamics in their sexual expression. The stigma associated with this fetish might lead to embarrassment or discomfort when discussing preferences with partners.
The practicality and cleanliness of the owner should also be considered. Managing the logistics of cum eating, such as where and how to consume the semen, can be impractical and messy. Clean-up post-act can also be a concern for those who prefer less messy sexual activities.
It’s important to communicate openly with partners about comfort levels, boundaries, and health status before engaging in any sexual activity, including CEI. Consent and mutual enjoyment should always be the top priorities. If all parties involved are informed, consenting, and comfortable with the practice, it can be a fulfilling part of their sexual expression. However, understanding and respecting individual limits and preferences is crucial.
While CEI is generally safe, it’s important to consider the health aspects of any sexual activity. Societal attitudes toward CEI have evolved over time. The cultural perceptions have shaped the practice and how the rise of adult content platforms has contributed to its growing acceptance.
Whether viewed as an act of submission, a display of dominance, or a testament to intimacy, CEI remains a potent symbol of human sexuality in all its diversity and complexity. Cum eating is a complex and multifaceted fetish that offers a unique window into the world of human sexuality.
By embracing this taboo activity, kinksters can explore new dimensions of intimacy, submission, and self-discovery. Remember to communicate openly with your partner, start slowly, and experiment with different techniques to find what works best for you.
Did I leave you with some questions? Reach out to me on IG, X or FB with it and I will send you a response! #shadesoasis #shademediallc #debrashade #kink #FluidPlay
The power of breath in pleasure and mindfulness cannot be understated, as it serves as the gateway to a more present, centered, and peaceful state of mind. I have taken this understanding into my world of increasing orgasm intensity, and in doing so releasing those beneficial whole-body hormones that we thrive from. The necessity for breath control in moments of pleasure, especially through the steps of orgasm, is life-changing.
In today’s fast-paced world, where the demands of daily life often leave us feeling stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed, the practice of mindfulness has gained significant popularity as a way to find inner peace and balance. At the heart of mindfulness lies the simple yet profound act of paying attention to your breath.
Mindfulness, in its essence, is the practice of bringing one’s attention to the present moment without judgment. It is a mental state that encourages us to be fully aware of our thoughts, emotions, and sensations as they arise, with an attitude of acceptance and non-reactivity.
The breath is a perfect anchor for this practice, as it is always with us, supplying a continuous source of focus and a way to ground ourselves in the here and now. This is a very powerful tool in the art of completing the sexual response cycle. For all of its glory, the orgasm is a masterpiece of pleasure, sensations, and breath.
Breath
The breath is an ever-present, constant companion that connects us to the present moment. We can focus on it at any time, even during a pleasurable situation. By directing our attention to the breath, we immediately draw our minds out of the past or future and into the present.
Noting sources of pleasure, the stimuli, even the presence of the lover(s), and what they are doing to give you pleasure. Take in breath in a pattern that opens the flow of pleasure all over the body. From head to toe, your breath will change what you are feeling and with how much intensity.
The breath has a natural rhythm, with the inhale and exhale following one another in a steady, soothing cadence. When we pay attention to this rhythmic quality of the breath, we create a sense of stability and calm. This rhythmic focus can serve as an anchor, helping to still the turbulent waters of our thoughts and emotions in times of being mindful.
However, when you take control of your breath. When the build-up of pleasure sits in your belly and your vocal box vibrates, you can begin to control it and use it to raise the bar on the stimuli and as a direct result- the power of the orgasm.
Our breath is closely connected to our emotional and mental states. When we are anxious or stressed, our breathing tends to become shallow and rapid. Conversely, in moments of calm and relaxation, our breath deepens and slows. By tuning into the breath, you can control the intensity.
Find your moment to take in a deep breath, to the count of six, and out for a count of four. Take note of what touches you are feeling, where the pressure is building, and when you become more connected with pleasure, change the rhythm of your breathing in for four and out for two.
If you are doing it now, you can see your pace is picking up. Imagine this being the waves of pleasure that ought to be flooding through you as you change your pace to in for two and out for two. Yes panting. Panting is a necessary part of breathing in pleasure. Panting is an awesome audible for your mate(s), and an indicator for them to keep up whatever it is that they are doing.
Mindful attention to the breath helps us ride waves on the orgasm path. We can see our emotional responses as they arise AND we can enjoy the benefits of the audio, visual, and physical aspects of what is going down in and around your body.
An increased amount of dopamine is flooding through you. Serotonin and oxytocin join their buddy dopamine and the sounds that sputter out around your breath should be ignored or used. Ignoring them takes any embarrassment off the table and allows you to drown in the pleasure.
Using the sounds is powerful. This space between stimulus and response allows us to choose how we want to react to stimuli. When you are panting, you want more so don’t be afraid that this is the message you are sending out. You get what you ask for and you don’t always have to use words.
By practicing mindfulness through the breath, we can become more present, centered, and aware, leading to a richer and more fulfilling sex life. The breath is a timeless and readily available source of pleasure, waiting to be discovered within us. It is a reminder that pleasure can be found in the simple act of breathing, and the choice to be mindful of it is always within our grasp.
Understanding Barriers to Intimacy and Desired Outcomes
Currently experiencing communication issues with my partner, low self-esteem affecting my confidence in the bedroom, and struggling with past trauma that hinders emotional connection during intimate moments. Seeking therapy to improve communication, boost self-confidence, and address trauma to rebuild emotional connection and intimacy with my partner
Interactive Self-Assessment Tools – Develop interactive self-assessment tools on the website that allow clients to input information about their concerns, goals, and preferences. Based on the results, personalized therapy recommendations can be provided, along with educational resources and tips for overcoming barriers to intimacy.
Specific Incidents or Triggers Related to Past Trauma – Experiencing anxiety or panic attacks when intimate situations arise, feeling disconnected or emotionally numb during physical intimacy, and struggling with intrusive memories or flashbacks during intimate moments.
Desired Outcomes through Sexual Wellness Therapy – Learn communication strategies to express needs and boundaries effectively, develop coping mechanisms to manage anxiety or triggers during intimate moments, and cultivate a deeper sense of intimacy and connection with my partner
Incorporating communication strategies into your daily routine can significantly improve dialogue with your partner and help you express your needs and boundaries effectively. Here are some ways to do so:
Practice Active Listening – Make a conscious effort to listen attentively to your partner without interrupting or formulating your response while they are speaking. Repeat back what they’ve said to ensure understanding and show that you are engaged in the conversation.
Use “I” Statements – When expressing your needs and boundaries, focus on using “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory and promote open communication. For example, instead of saying “You never listen to me,” try saying “I feel unheard when my opinions are dismissed.”
Schedule Regular Check-Ins – Set aside time regularly to discuss important topics with your partner. Use this time to share your feelings, concerns, and needs openly and honestly. This can help prevent misunderstandings and promote a deeper connection in your relationship
To incorporate communication strategies into your daily routine to improve dialogue with your partner and effectively express your needs and boundaries, consider the following:
Reflect on Your Communication Style – Take time to reflect on how you typically communicate with your partner. Are there any patterns or habits that may hinder effective dialogue? How can you adapt your style to better convey your thoughts and feelings?
Practice Active Listening – Make a conscious effort to actively listen to your partner during conversations. Are you truly hearing and understanding their perspective? What steps can you take to ensure you are listening attentively and empathetically?
Set aside Quality Time for Conversation – To foster open communication, schedule dedicated time for meaningful conversations with your partner. How can you create a conducive environment for discussions that allow both parties to express their needs and boundaries comfortably?
By incorporating these strategies into your daily routine, you can enhance communication with your partner and create a more supportive and understanding relationship.
Now, here are three questions for you to consider:
How can you proactively address any communication barriers that may arise in your relationship?
What specific communication techniques or tools can you implement to improve dialogue with your partner?
In what ways can you encourage open and honest communication to effectively express your needs and boundaries within the relationship?
Did I leave you with a question? Send them to me via X, IG, or FB, and keep watch for my response.
Aftercare – Aftercare is the emotional and physical care administered when a scene is over. Proper aftercare may be used to prevent a drop.
Consent – Agreeing to certain acts in a BDSM scene or relationship and maintaining it throughout the interactions. Practitioners believe that consent is what separates BDSM from assault.
Contract – An arrangement that outlines the rules and structures of a BDSM relationship. It written or oral.
Dungeon – A location where BDSM play takes place (usually in a person’s home or at a club).
Fetish – An obsession with a specific experience, body part, or object. Usually required for a “release” to take place.
Kink – A relationship with an experience, body part, or object that arouses you but is not necessary to reach release.
Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC) – This phrase describes what the BDSM community considers ethical behavior. Kink enthusiasts stress that activities must always be safe, sane, and consensual.
