Sunday, May 19, 2024
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Debra Shade's Sex Tips

If You Know Nothing Else About BDSM Activity…. Know This

Photo by Adéọlá Adérè̩mí on Unsplash

Aftercare – Aftercare is the emotional and physical care administered when a scene is over. Proper aftercare may be used to prevent a drop.

Consent – Agreeing to certain acts in a BDSM scene or relationship and maintaining it throughout the interactions. Practitioners believe that consent is what separates BDSM from assault.

Contract – An arrangement that outlines the rules and structures of a BDSM relationship. It written or oral.

Dungeon – A location where BDSM play takes place (usually in a person’s home or at a club).

Fetish – An obsession with a specific experience, body part, or object. Usually required for a “release” to take place.

Kink – A relationship with an experience, body part, or object that arouses you but is not necessary to reach release.

Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC) – This phrase describes what the BDSM community considers ethical behavior. Kink enthusiasts stress that activities must always be safe, sane, and consensual.

The Power of Breath in Pleasure

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The power of breath in pleasure and mindfulness cannot be understated, as it serves as the gateway to a more present, centered, and peaceful state of mind. I have taken this understanding into my world of increasing orgasm intensity, and in doing so releasing those beneficial whole-body hormones that we thrive from. The necessity for breath control in moments of pleasure, especially through the steps of orgasm, is life-changing.

In today’s fast-paced world, where the demands of daily life often leave us feeling stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed, the practice of mindfulness has gained significant popularity as a way to find inner peace and balance. At the heart of mindfulness lies the simple yet profound act of paying attention to your breath.

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Mindfulness

Mindfulness, in its essence, is the practice of bringing one’s attention to the present moment without judgment. It is a mental state that encourages us to be fully aware of our thoughts, emotions, and sensations as they arise, with an attitude of acceptance and non-reactivity.

The breath is a perfect anchor for this practice, as it is always with us, supplying a continuous source of focus and a way to ground ourselves in the here and now. This is a very powerful tool in the art of completing the sexual response cycle. For all of its glory, the orgasm is a masterpiece of pleasure, sensations, and breath.

Breath

The breath is an ever-present, constant companion that connects us to the present moment. We can focus on it at any time, even during a pleasurable situation. By directing our attention to the breath, we immediately draw our minds out of the past or future and into the present.

Noting sources of pleasure, the stimuli, even the presence of the lover(s), and what they are doing to give you pleasure. Take in breath in a pattern that opens the flow of pleasure all over the body. From head to toe, your breath will change what you are feeling and with how much intensity.

The breath has a natural rhythm, with the inhale and exhale following one another in a steady, soothing cadence. When we pay attention to this rhythmic quality of the breath, we create a sense of stability and calm. This rhythmic focus can serve as an anchor, helping to still the turbulent waters of our thoughts and emotions in times of being mindful.

However, when you take control of your breath. When the build-up of pleasure sits in your belly and your vocal box vibrates, you can begin to control it and use it to raise the bar on the stimuli and as a direct result- the power of the orgasm.

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Our breath is closely connected to our emotional and mental states. When we are anxious or stressed, our breathing tends to become shallow and rapid. Conversely, in moments of calm and relaxation, our breath deepens and slows. By tuning into the breath, you can control the intensity.

Find your moment to take in a deep breath, to the count of six, and out for a count of four. Take note of what touches you are feeling, where the pressure is building, and when you become more connected with pleasure, change the rhythm of your breathing in for four and out for two.

If you are doing it now, you can see your pace is picking up. Imagine this being the waves of pleasure that ought to be flooding through you as you change your pace to in for two and out for two. Yes panting. Panting is a necessary part of breathing in pleasure. Panting is an awesome audible for your mate(s), and an indicator for them to keep up whatever it is that they are doing.

Mindful attention to the breath helps us ride waves on the orgasm path. We can see our emotional responses as they arise AND we can enjoy the benefits of the audio, visual, and physical aspects of what is going down in and around your body.

An increased amount of dopamine is flooding through you. Serotonin and oxytocin join their buddy dopamine and the sounds that sputter out around your breath should be ignored or used. Ignoring them takes any embarrassment off the table and allows you to drown in the pleasure.

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Using the sounds is powerful. This space between stimulus and response allows us to choose how we want to react to stimuli. When you are panting, you want more so don’t be afraid that this is the message you are sending out. You get what you ask for and you don’t always have to use words.

By practicing mindfulness through the breath, we can become more present, centered, and aware, leading to a richer and more fulfilling sex life. The breath is a timeless and readily available source of pleasure, waiting to be discovered within us. It is a reminder that pleasure can be found in the simple act of breathing, and the choice to be mindful of it is always within our grasp.

Global Sound Orgasm Experience

Photo taken from: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=25765491183064502&set=a.177865215587117
On May 15, 2024, at 8:00 AM EST, immerse yourself in an extraordinary GLOBAL Sound Orgasm Experience like no other. For just $5, you can purchase the link to gain access to our curated erotic song, “Sonic Flow,” intended to evoke sensations of pleasure, intimacy, and connection simultaneously.

Picture this: listeners from around the globe coming together at the same moment, united by the power of sound and shared experience. As the clock strikes 8:00 AM EST, we’ll press play on “Sonic Flow,” a captivating 7-minute, 23-second journey into bliss.

Whether you’re seeking to awaken your senses, deepen your connection with yourself or others, or simply indulge in a moment of pure sonic pleasure, this event promises to be an unforgettable experience.

To secure your spot in this global listening sensation, simply purchase the access link for $5 and mark your calendar for May 15, 2024, at 8:00 AM EST. Let’s come together, across continents and time zones, to revel in the beauty of music and the boundless possibilities of connection.

Don’t miss out on this unique opportunity to be part of something truly special. Reserve your spot now and prepare to be swept away by the magic of “Sonic Flow.”

Embracing Morning Erections: A Natural and Healthy Phenomenon

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Do you know about morning erections? They’re a natural and healthy phenomenon commonly experienced by men. However, this topic can sometimes be met with awkwardness or misconceptions. So, let’s dive into the reasons behind morning erections and shed light on why they’re a positive and healthy aspect of male physiology.

Rapid Eye Movement

First things first, morning erections are a result of a complex interplay of physiological factors. During REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, men typically experience multiple episodes of nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT). This is a sign of a healthy circulatory system and a well-functioning nervous system. Erections during sleep help maintain penile health by ensuring proper blood flow and oxygenation to the genital tissues.

Hormones

Hormones also play a crucial role in regulating sexual function. Testosterone, the primary male sex hormone, tends to peak in the early morning hours. Erections in the morning are often a manifestation of this hormonal surge. A balanced testosterone level is essential for maintaining overall sexual health, libido, and energy levels.

Erectile Function

Now, here’s an interesting fact – consistent erections in the morning can serve as an indicator of good erectile function. Men experiencing regular erections when they wake up can take it as a positive sign that their vascular and neurological systems are functioning optimally. On the contrary, changes in the frequency or quality may warrant attention and could be indicative of underlying health issues such as hormonal imbalances or erectile dysfunction.

Erections in the morning aren’t just about physical health; they also have psychological implications. Waking up with an erection is a natural and positive experience that can contribute to a sense of well-being and body confidence. Embracing and understanding these physiological responses can foster a healthier attitude towards one’s own body and sexuality.

Morning erections can even play a role in intimate relationships. Partners may find it affirming and reassuring to witness their loved one’s physical responses, fostering a sense of connection and intimacy. Open communication about these natural occurrences can contribute to a more supportive and understanding relationship.

So, now you know that morning erections are a normal and healthy part of male physiology. It’s essential to approach the topic with openness and dispel any myths or stigmas associated with them. As with any aspect of sexual health, if individuals have concerns or experience significant changes, consulting with a healthcare professional is recommended to ensure holistic well-being. Embracing and appreciating our bodies’ natural responses, including erections in the morning, is a step toward a healthier and more informed perspective on male sexual health.

HOW TO FINGER A VAGINA INTERNALLY

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Whether you’re aiming for G-spot stimulation, or you just want to rub the A-spot or entire vagina canal in general, these tips can help.

• Use lube.
• Make sure your fingernails are cut short and filed smoothly.
• The same goes for rough hands.
• Wash your hands beforehand to avoid spreading bacteria, which can cause infection.
• Start with one finger.  You can always add more (some individuals like four fingers or even to be fisted), you want to give them time to get used to each finger as you rub the vagina internally.

• Pay attention to their responses.   If they get tense, pull away, seems disinterested, or is in pain, do less of that. If they moan, breathe heavier, get closer to you, keep it up!

@shadeyontop debra.shade.youcanbook.me

“Sonic Flow” Delights Music Lovers Worldwide

Photo of Debra Shade, certified Clinical Sexologist

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE :

New Release: “Sonic Flow” Curated by Debra Shade Delights Music Lovers Worldwide

Columbus, Ohio – Get ready to immerse yourself in a captivating pleasure journey as “Sonic Flow,” a remarkable new single curated by the brilliant Debra Shade, ABS, ACS, was dropped on February 14, 2024. Brimming with talent and creativity, this release promises to deliver an extraordinary, exciting experience like no other.

“Sonic Flow” has been meticulously crafted by a team of incredible artists, including esteemed Voiceover artist Lorenzo G., exceptional vocalist Tiffany Ariel, and the brilliant composers, Weezee and The Libra Alchemy. Together, they have combined their immense talents to create a mesmerizing sound pleasure that promises to captivate listeners globally.

This single is a testament to the limitless possibilities and boundless creativity of immense pleasure via sound. Each artist’s contribution brings a unique flavor to the composition, resulting in an extraordinary blend of sonic textures, enchanting vocals, and innovative melodies. “Sonic Flow” is a true masterpiece that transcends genres, inviting listeners to embark on a transformative musical journey.

Debra Shade, an influential force in the arena of sex education, curated “Sonic Flow” with an unwavering commitment to providing a one-of-a-kind experience for anyone seeking methods to orgasm. Known for her delivery on the topic of orgasm, she uses a visionary approach to teach about methods for completing the sexual response cycle from a pleasure perspective. Debra Shade has assembled a team of exceptional talents who have pushed the boundaries of creativity to deliver something truly remarkable.

Starting February 14, 2024, “Sonic Flow” will be available on all major music platforms worldwide. Audiences across the globe can enjoy this astounding single, embracing its captivating sounds to raise the hairs on your body, your belly to tingle and maybe even tension lift from your body. Sound Orgasm. While it may not leave you exhausted from movement, it does create serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin, the perfect storm of pleasure hormones.

“Sonic Flow” promises to tantalize your senses and release another way to bring pleasure into your day.

Listen for yourself on your favorite music platform drop a review, hit the like button, and save it in your favorites.

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Media Contact:

Nina Jones
PR Manager
224-306-2747
[email protected]

`Playful Pick

Photo from:https://thesexmed.com/sex-toys-for-sexual-health/

Choosing anal toys can be a playful pick, but is not a simple task. There are a lot of products on the market, so finding the right one for you may take some time. Here are some suggestions to pluck yours out of the crowd.

There are two types of anal toys. Prostate-specific and inflatable. Flared base toys are a MUST.

Anything that you place up into your rectum should have a flared base that can be held at all times. Many items can be sucked inside of your anus. Your muscles will suck things up into your intestines which could be life threatening. Know that anytime you place something in, it must have a T-shaped base to hold it on the outside.

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Prostate-specific toys stimulate the P-spot directly.  If you were born with a penis, then chances are, you have a P-spot -the prostate – reached through the anus and perineum stimulation. They are about three inches into the anal canal. On the front wall towards the penis and are the size of a walnut.

This is good to know when selecting the toy’s length. To use a prostate-specific anal toy, you should be entered at an angle to ease discomfort. Once you feel comfortable, let your partner know it is OK to proceed. They should continue to thrust at an angle. You may feel the urge to pee or orgasm.  It is impossible to do both, so relax into your orgasm thanks to the PC Muscle. 

Inflatable anal toys are an excellent choice for some. 

They work like a balloon; you insert them while they are small and then pump them up with air to stretch the sphincters and muscles of the anal canal, putting pressure on the prostrates. Always start by pumping slowly. You do not want to force the anus open or use hard pumps to fill the toy too rapidly. Release the air by using the little valve until it is back to its original size and slide it out gently. 

Anus owners can place anal beads in their rectum while being penetrated or receiving a hand job.

They are small to medium-sized balls and are super easy to use. They are a series of ABS plastic or silicone beads that are linked together and are used to stimulate the walls and canal of the anus. The beads start small and grow larger.  It is the smallest beads that go in first, press the toy into the anus and remove them when finished. 

Vibrating anal beads give you added sensations. Some or all of the beads can vibrate for extra sensations during anal. You should cover these beads in a water-based lube to make insertion smoother and pleasurable every time. Butt plugs can be weighted, vibrating, or non-vibrating cone-shaped toys.  If vibrations are too intense you can always use the plug without turning it on until you get used to the sensation.

Vibrating butt plugs help relax the sphincter muscles and stimulate either the Skene’s Glands or prostrates. The vibrations work away muscle tightness and supply extra pleasure to the nerves in and around the anus.

Select a Material

You want to choose the right material for you. There are many options on the market, and you must find what fits your needs. Some points to keep in mind are knowing any allergic reactions to soft materials such as PVC, latex, rubber, jelly, or silicone. You should also be aware of how to sanitize and care for the toy. Firmer materials such as ABS Plastic, glass, metals, or wood to name a few, may not take the same amount of work as softer, flexible toys. 

Soft materials are super flexible and move with your body. Some are stiff in the core and covered with a soft material. Firmer materials are used for more direct, pinpointed stimulation. Using a non-porous material that can be polished or coated wood, stainless steel, or aluminum is a great alternative to silicone if need be.

Photo by Lovense Toys on Unsplash

Avoid cheap toys that are porous, which means that bacteria can grow in the toy’s pores. Even cleaning with antibacterial soap or cleaner cannot go deep enough to fully sterilize the toy for future use. Body-safe anal toys are hypoallergenic, non-porous, and phthalate free and have several benefits. They are more hygienic because they are easier to clean and kill growing bacteria.

Silicone is hypoallergenic and free from plastic softening, phthalates that are in PVC, and certain types of rubber. They are firm and usually medical-grade, first-generation silicone. 

Silicone is one of the safest forms of rubber that can be inserted. While it is porous, its pores are so small it cannot harbor bacteria. The skin-like texture of silicone allows the toy to offer a true life-like experience. The material warms quickly to body temperature and holds the heat, making it even more pleasurable.

Phthalates should be avoided altogether. They are often in soft or cheap anal toys and can adversely affect the reproductive system. These toys tend to smell like plastic, and it is important to read the packaging and pay attention to the safety icons before using the toy.

Toy Cleaners are specifically made to kill bacteria and clean your toy. You can use warm water and antibacterial soap, but these cleaners are made with the toy in mind. Spray some on the toy, wipe it down with a warm damp cloth, and let it air dry.  Most toys should be stored in cool, dry places.

Boiling toys depends on the manufacturer’s guidelines. Heat-resistant anal toys can be sterilized through boiling only if the packaging says so. Submerge your toy in a pot of boiling water for 3 minutes. 

Prepping for the myth

Feces does not hang out in the rectum. It is there when you have to void, but if this is the case, the nerves sense this fullness and then tell the brain whether this is due to gas or stool. if you have this feeling – DO NOT proceed with anal until AFTER you poop.

If you so desire, enemas and douches work in the same way. You fill them with lukewarm water, gently squirt the water into your rectum and then sit on a toilet and let nature run its course. A douche holds around a cup’s worth of water, so this choice is easier for a quick rinse of the area once inside your anus.

An enema bag holds anywhere from one cup to around a half gallon. The more water you flush into your body, the more fecal matter will be loosened, so take your time and let your intestines work.

Regardless of your choice, always practice on a day when you do not plan on having anal sex at all. It often takes a few hours for your body to fully flush itself from an anal water cleanse. Once you get the hang of it, use a small amount of water in a douche about 45 minutes to 1 hour before you have sex if you are feeling the need to get extra fresh.

Just a reminder or notice – like most sex toys, sharing them increases your risk of giving or receiving an STI.  It is always safer, and it is best if you do not share your anal toys. Bacteria like E. coli and parasites can easily be transmitted through shared toys. If you happen to share, be sure to use a new condom each time.

If this article has left you with questions, feel free to reach out to me at [email protected].

Permit Yourself to Touch Yourself for Pleasure.

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Masturbation is critical for learning/creating your orgasm formula. Permit yourself to touch yourself for pleasure.  This is the combination of touch, environment, and mindset you need to release. The importance of masturbation is not only making the perfect storm of hormones that release at the peak and resolution of orgasm.

The hormones oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine build during arousal, build up, and MAGIC!!

Oxytocin is known as the feel-good hormone. Makes you want to cuddle, snuggle, and seek connections beyond the physical. Serotonin is the hormone that…… Dopamine is an “intoxicating hormone”. One that triggers the brain’s pleasure sensors just as a drug does. Often blamed for the driver of sex addiction. The “high” that the body feels is something people chase.

Together, these three hormones cause the body to contract and release tension, which can relieve stress and lift moods from depression. Making it an antidepressant. Believe it or not, it is also an antihistamine because it relieves sinus pressure.

The overall orgasm can lower both blood pressure and cortisol. The many benefits are under-studied in all gendered bodies. What we know so far has been pioneered by scientists and experts of the Kinsley Institute. The founding institution of human sexuality.

The research done on the understanding of vulva orgasms is slim, to say the least. It was not until the early 20s that “female” orgasm was recognized by science. The concept of female ejaculation is still being challenged as a phenomenon.

History shows that doctors treated people with “incontinence” and “hysteria” with a vibrating wand which caused the release. The fix – orgasm. This is funny to me as the wand, known as the first sex toy (novelty item), was a medical tool used for generations.

Orgasm Mediation Is Good for You

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An orgasm meditation is very calming and relaxing. That storm of hormones and chemicals that are produced through AROUSAL leads to the pleasure of release. Orgasm mediation is the matter of being still and calm before starting to stimulate yourself or with a mate, go through motions of stimulation through the orgasm and at that moment, take the time to have your breath go from panting to slow intakes and long releases. Eyes open or close, continue to breathe and you will become calmer.

Visualize how relaxed your body is. Note your neck and the lack of tension in it, move to your shoulders, let them rest into the support you are leaning against. Your forearms, hands, fingers. Take the evaluation through your body as you are breathing in deep belly breathes and letting out long exhales. Imagine that air flowing freely through your relaxed body. Your arousal may return as you are noting your body in a new way. A softer way. Orgasm meditation is a method training your attention and awareness to achieve a mentally clear, emotional calm state of being that allows you to mindfully remain in that state when you stand up.

@shadeyontop if you have questions, I have answers! Book some time with me.

Jiva Med Spa and Debra Shade Partner to Revolutionize Holistic Wellness

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Press release:

Jiva Med Spa and Debra Shade Partner to Revolutionize Holistic Wellness

Columbus, Ohio – Jiva Med Spa, a leading sexual wellness destination for care in pelvic floor pain, incontinence, weight loss, the O shot, and the P spot, using modern-day, state-of-the-art equipment and no surgical procedures is thrilled to announce its partnership with Debra Shade, a highly regarded Board-Certified Clinical Sexologist and Master Sexpert and owner of Shades Oasis.

This collaboration brings together the expertise of Jiva Med Spa and Shade’s passion for helping individuals and couples navigate barriers to pleasure through trauma, and generational conversations of shame and guilt.

The partnership between Jiva Med Spa and Debra Shade aims to redefine holistic wellness by integrating the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of well-being. As the owner of Shades Oasis, a renowned whole-body wellness center in Columbus, Ohio, Debra Shade has curated a wide range of more than 200 workshops focused on pleasure, relationships, and sexual wellness.

By joining forces, Jiva Med Spa and Debra Shade will create a unique space for individuals and couples to explore their desires, heal from past trauma, and develop a healthy relationship with their bodies and partners. This collaboration will offer a comprehensive approach to holistic wellness, addressing both internal and external factors that impact one’s overall well-being.

Jiva Med Spa is known for its innovative treatments and unwavering commitment to repair sexual dysfunction into sexual satisfaction. Dr. Rakesh Nanda, MD, brings a wealth of expertise in aesthetic procedures, regenerative medicine, and wellness services. His team consists of highly trained professionals who prioritize personalized care and strive to exceed client expectations.

Debra Shade, as a Board-Certified Clinical Sexologist and Master Sexpert, possesses a deep understanding of the intimate struggles faced by individuals and couples. Through her private practice, Debra has made a significant impact by helping clients overcome barriers to pleasure and heal from emotional wounds, empowering them to embrace their sexuality from a pleasure perspective and experience fulfilling relationships.

Together, Dr. Rakesh Nanda and Debra Shade will combine their expertise, resources, and shared passion for empowering individuals to lead healthier, more satisfying intimate lives. Through a collaborative approach, they will offer cutting-edge treatments, transformative workshops, and tailored holistic wellness programs aimed at enhancing overall well-being.

For more information about Jiva Med Spa, please visit or follow. To learn more about Debra Shade and Shades Oasis, please visit  or follow .

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Media Contact:

Nina Jones
PR Manager
224-306-2747
[email protected]