10 Ways To Make Time For Sex Over The Holidays – Even If You’re Single

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December 15, 2015

The holidays are right around the corner, but that’s no reason to give up on finding love or keeping your couples passion sizzling hot. If you’re in a relationship, the in-laws might be driving you crazy or the kids and pets may keep jumping up on the bed ruining your chances for intimacy. Or, if you’re single, you might feel lonely or left out, and wish the stupid cozy, romantic season would just end already.

That’s why I’ve come up with ten great ideas for couples and singles to make love and sex a priority this season.

10 Tips For Couples

Plan for sex by making a date ahead of time – tell your in-laws to take the kids to a movie, or go for it in the middle of the afternoon when no one is home. And make sure to keep the conversation about intimacy on the date!
Being quiet while you’re having sex can super-charge your erotic experience, especially if your family or friends are in the next room. Giggling like teenagers in your childhood bedroom has its own kinky rewards, so don’t be too quick to rule it out.
Use technology to build anticipation. Send your partner sexts describing what you’d like to do during the day to make them smile, and invite them to rendezvous later.
Quickies never go out of style. You might only have fifteen minutes alone with your partner, so make out passionately, give each other oral pleasure or tease with a little striptease. Sex doesn’t always have to be a marathon.
Put some sexy toys on your partner’s gift list so that you can share new experiences together and have even more fulfilling sex.
Do a “sexy wish exchange” with your partner. Exchange a fun list of three things that could heighten a romantic, sensual and sexual experience for you with your partner, as in: “I wish you would give me a sensual massage.”
Eat chocolate! Chocolate releases neurotransmitters such as Dopamine and Serotonin that can work as an anti-depressant and make us feel like we are happier or even in love!
Steal a kiss with your lover at least twice a day in the morning and at night but make your smooches last for at least 12 seconds! This is a sure way to maintain passion and intimacy in your relationship. An added bonus is that the man transfers testosterone from his saliva to a woman’s mouth during passionate kissing. You can get away from the crowd for 12 seconds, right?
Play a sexy game – Are you a couple lucky enough to be alone together for the holidays? Have a playful night of strip poker, truth or dare or try one of the many adventures in my book The Sexy Little Book of Sex Games.
Watch or read erotica together. You may be surprised how quickly you’ll both be in the mood if you indulge in some sexy movies or read passages from a naughty book to each other.

If you’re single, make the season a sexy one by treating yourself as if you are madly in love with you! The first step is to lower your stress, which triggers cortisol levels and then increase oxytocin, known as the love hormone.

10 Tips For Singles

Laughter is the best medicine and releases bursts of the feel-good hormone oxytocin, so go to a comedy club or watch a funny movie.
Listening to soothing music releases oxytocin, so listen when you are in stressful situations such as driving in rush hour or cooking. Also, listen to your favorite music without multitasking as studies show that just listening to music for 30 minutes a day is as healthy as meditation.
Do accept invitations to parties and don’t be afraid to go out with someone new on a date even if you know they are not who you are looking for, they could introduce you to your soul mate, become a great friend or even a business contact.
Sexycise to stay in shape and release feel-good endorphins by going to the gym, taking a yoga or Pilates class and even going for a walk in the park or on a beach, which can lead to meeting another sexyciser!
Solo sex with some warming lube is a great way to heat up a cool winter night. Self-pleasuring can boost your immunity so you’ll be less likely to get a pesky cold!
Buy yourself a naughty gift such as satin sheets, new undies, a sex toy, erotic DVD or a sexy book.
Remember that being alone without being lonely is very healthy – so own it! It’s not a negative thing that you need to be ashamed of, it’s an opportunity to reflect on the kind of partner you would want in your life.
Write a list of things you would do if you had your dream partner – why can’t you do them anyway? Take a stroll downtown to enjoy the holiday lights or take yourself out for dinner, to a movie, theatre or a concert and enjoy!
Pamper yourself! Book a massage, a facial, a mani and pedi, or a whole day at the spa! Self-love brings more love toward you.
Get festive and decorate your home, then curl up with a great movie and a glass of wine or cup of tea. Even if no one will see your efforts, YOU will. And that’s the point. You’re worth it. Now take a selfie!

Erika Jordan’s ‘Advice For Men’ – Best Sex Positions For Anal

By

Erika Jordan

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May 17, 2018

This video gives you the very hot low-down on which sex positions can become anal sex positions, giving them a super-charged erotic twist. Erika’s here to spice up your Netflix & chill evening.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Men and Women Are Different: How to Communicate About Sex

By

Erika Jordan

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November 27, 2020

Men and women are so different they seem to come from different planets. Or at least that is what John Grey the author of the New York Times best seller, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus claims. Embracing and accepting our differences will help us maintain healthy relationships.

But what does this mean? Men are able to focus on narrow issues while blocking out unrelated information and distractions. Women naturally see everyday things from a broader, “big-picture” vantage point. We can all recall walking by a couple where the woman is chatting away and guy is seemingly staring into space. The man might really care for her but just can’t tune in to all the mind numbing details. Men prefer to get to the point quickly instead of walking around the point in circles.

Instead of getting into the complex mind of a female, I will simply point out five major points. That if employed will help you communicate much better with women.

1: I don’t know, what do you want to do? We all hate this question but it is one that is asked quite often. When she asks you a question, it is best to always have an answer. Even if you have no preference where to eat just say the first place that pops into your mind. Always having an answer sets a tone and creates a pattern that has her seeing you as the solution man and a man who cares. Don’t pretend to know more than you do. A lie is visible from space. I will look into that is a viable answer. I have heard many times that a woman’s favorite three words is some form of “I’ve got this”.

2: Communication not interrogation. You have heard people say if you get her talking about herself she will feel like she is having a good time and connecting with you. This is true but it doesn’t mean interrogate her. Asking her a steady stream of questions makes her feel like you are genuinely interested in her. Contribute to the conversation and make sure you relate to her and evoke emotion. Make sure that you ask open ended questions that require more than one word as a response and can turn into a conversation. “What do you like about living in Los Angeles?”

3: Learning to drive a woman. If you want something to change in the relationship it is going to require time. Take time as you sit together, cook together, eat together, travel together to voice your dissatisfaction with certain aspects of the relationship. Just do it in a calm fashion. Tone of voice is about half of the communication so pay attention to your tone. Reassure her that you are happy (if you are) with the overall relationship. You just want one or two things to change. When she has the mic be an active listener, don’t look around or just sit there, and don’t say “uh uh” every few seconds. Watch her body language, tone and proceed like they taught us in drivers ed. IPDE. Identify, predict, decide and execute.

4: No unnecessary apology. Most women I know think a man comes off as a wimp when he starts every sentence off with “I’m sorry.” Don’t apologize for not agreeing with her. Don’t apologize for wanting to watch the game (unless it’s during her grandmothers funeral). Not only will you over-use “sorry” but it will not have the same impact when you really mean it.

5: Don’t argue with crazy. When I say “Don’t argue with crazy.” I mean that to a woman, she’s not being crazy at the moment. Even though every other person on this earth would clearly side with your opinion. They are what they are and you attempting to rationalize or solve the problem isn’t always the right thing to do. If she starts crying during a cat commercial because the cat is “just so fluffy,” the smart thing to do is simply put your arm around her and attempt to put yourself in her shoes. Is she suffering from PMS, did her cat just die, or did she forget to take her meds? Regardless of where she is on the crazy scale the right way to deal with something you see is illogical or “crazy” is to sympathize with it and bring some humor into the situation if possible to lighten the mood.

Since much of communication is listening time to review the previous post from Erika Jordan, How To Listen To A Woman.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

How Not To Get “Catfished” While Dating Online

By

Anka Radakovich

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March 10, 2016

For anyone who meets people through online dating sites, which is now close to half the single (and married but pretending to be single) population, the concept of being “catfished” is just part of the game. It happens everyday.

One online dater, Kerrie Sackville, a journalist in Australia, says she got catfished by a guy using a stock photo! She chatted with the handsome silver fox who told her he was a venture capitalist, but became suspicious when they started emailing back and forth and she noticed he could barely spell. She busted him by using reverse Google image search, that lets you upload the image and see if it has been used elsewhere on the internet. In her case, it was an actor’s head shot that was sold by a photographer to Getty, a stock photo agency.

Catfishing is practiced by both sexes, but women report it happens to them more than men. The gay men I spoke to about this phenomenon say they avoid it altogether by asking the guys they are chatting with to send them a selfie, along with a bunch of recent photos. Like more than a handful. After 8 or 9 photos you can get can an idea of what the person looks like. And I recommend asking for an “ugly photo” — a more unflattering shot with bad lighting, where you can really see what the person looks like. And not the one where he’s wearing a ski mask. This keeps you from being shocked when the person you just spent hours talking to, shows up and looks 20 years older and 30 pounds heavier than his “stock” photo.

Erika Jordan’s Advice For Men – The Ultimate Sex Game

By

Erika Jordan

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October 23, 2019

The Ultimate Sex Game! Want to be a better lover? This sex game will change your life! Learn how to play this fun, hot, sexy game with your new partner to determine what kind of loving she craves in bed! Playing this game will give you the tools to read her body like a cartographer reads maps. Not only that, but it will turn her on in the process and make you a better, more confident, and caring lover!

Let Erika Jordan give you the scoop. Watch the video above for details!

In a new relationship, it is often hard to figure out what your new partner may like between the sheets. Instead of wondering, play this hot, sexy Ultimate Sex Game to get an instant road map to your partner’s pleasure zones and learn what turns her on quickly!

How to Play:

Take turns with your partner trying various types of sexual touch. Try tickling, erotic massage, oral pleasure, and don’t forget to explore her whole body with various types of touch! Does she like it gentle and loving? Don’t she like it rough and dominating? Does she like it when you whisper sweet nothings in her ear, or talk dirty? Don’t forget her breasts, nipples, back of the neck, underarms, inner thighs, feet, and of course her clitoris.
Get her to rate her pleasure response from 1 (bleh) to 10 (OMG you are going to make me come!)
Now you have a roadmap for what types of touch drive your partner wild and make them go crazy in bed!

For more advice from Erika Jordan may I recommend How To Use Touch On A Date.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Want more resources? Check out Loveology’s course on the art of Pleasing a Woman. 😉

Chicago: Dating after Covid (Vaxxed and Waxed!)

By

Ely Torres

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June 29, 2021

Over a year later and finally, many Chicago singles are fully vaccinated and ready to get back out there, in person, and start dating.

Apps like Hinge, Tinder, Match and Bumble are offering special incentives to people who roll up their sleeves, including badges showing vaccination status and free access to premium content. BLK and Chispa will boost profiles of those who are vaccinated, to make them more visible to potential matches. And OKCupid will even let users filter out potential partners based on whether they’ve gotten a vaccine.

The White House says the apps will also direct users to learn how to get vaccinated, including connecting them with educational materials and information on how to find the nearest vaccination site.

With incentives swirling, does this mean more people will get vaccinated in hopes of matching with a future potential partner?

One thing is for sure, with dating app use increase the past year, it’s safe to say dating online isn’t going to be affected by the pandemic ending and people dating in person again.

Priti Joshi, vice president of marketing strategy and operations at Bumble, has the data to back up the popularity of dating apps during the pandemic.

“Online dating has been widely normalized for some time, but I think that this time of social distancing really put a spotlight on the tools and platforms that help people feel connected to others without having to meet IRL,” Joshi said in an email. “For example, Bumble’s Voice Call and Video Chat feature had a nearly 70% increase in use after the State of Emergency was declared in the US last spring.”

With a dating pool as massive as the one Chicago has, it’s hard to limit yourself to only vaccinated singles. After all, many people assume statistics are on their side (Chicago Covid cases have been dwindling, now at positive rate of .4%, as the number of vaccinated rises, now at 55% vaxxed) and won’t limit themselves to dating only the vaccinated.

In fact, 65% of Chicago singles say they won’t stick to dating only vaccinated singles, which shows they trust in the science behind the vaccinations.

Alison Baker, a 12-year resident of Chicago, is fully vaccinated as of May and says she has already been on 2 in-person dates and is looking forward to a summer of dating.

“I had already timed out my first in-person dates for the weeks after I was fully vaccinated, according to CDC standards, at least. I was a bit nervous to see if I would get butterflies for someone again, that spark that hits you when you meet someone you’re already interested in. I sort of knew what to expect since I video dated both of them before agreeing to meet in person,” said Baker.

Tinder and Bumble were quick to roll out video-chat features when the pandemic first started, and they highly contributed to dating app downloads and usage.

Sixty percent of those surveyed said they will continue to use dating apps going into summer, as much as they were in spring.

It seems that it will indeed be the summer of fucks for many Chicago singles.

No vaccine? No problem.

This article originally appeared on ElyShouldKnow

To Spit Or Swallow?

By

Alison Miller

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September 27, 2016

I was in the nail salon, gazing at a turned off television flanked by fake flowers, when the age-old question, “Do you spit or swallow?” eeked into my brain. “Spit or swallow” is the harshly limited ultimatum posed to teenagers, and most of us haven’t heard it since high school. Back then, I’m pretty sure I knew girls who answered both ways. Not being on the receiving end of fellatio, I took little note of who said what or why.

While one hand soaked and the other’s nails were filed, I wondered, “does anyone really spit?” Do women actually take ejaculate into their mouths and then spit it out because they object to swallowing? Is there a reason for objecting to swallowing other than disliking the taste? Doesn’t everyone know that tastebuds are on the tongue and not in the stomach?

While my polish was applied, I determined that no, no one spits. At least not anyone out of high school, and probably not even teenagers, given the extent of information and entertainment on the internet. That might have been that (I’m good at deciding things and singularly declaring them to be true) if the subject hadn’t come up later that night.

Our spit vs. swallow conversation derived from the topic of sexual education and the darnedest things kids say. A friend’s pre-teen had recently learned that oral sex is a thing, and wondered why people do it.

“So, but, do kids actually still talk about ‘spit or swallow’?” I interjected. Does ANYONE spit? I mean, for reasons other than being stimulated by the visual of spitting and then maybe licking it back up?”

I got a few blank looks and the familiar comment, “You’re on the other far side of the spectrum.”

Someone suggested I conduct I survey. We all admitted that, coming from Taboo’s social media followers, the results would be extremely biased. Then I did it anyway.

Here’s what my seven question, extremely biased “Let’s Talk About Head” survey taught me:

60% of women really enjoy giving head. 30% dig it when they’re in the mood, and 10% will do it to please their partners. Conversely, a whopping 90% of men love performing oral sex and only one responded that he didn’t enjoy it at all.

When it comes to climax, 75% of women and 84% of men want to do it in their partners’ mouths.

When I asked how women feel about their partner climaxing in their mouths, 58% said it turns them on. 33% responded “It’s nice, I guess.” 7% refuse it.

Contrarily, 88% of my male respondents are turned on by receiving orgasm orally! High fives!

Finally, do women spit or swallow?

My super-scientifically sound survey determines that 79% of women swallow.

7% spit because they don’t don’t enjoy swallowing, 5% spit because they find it erotic, and 9% never let ejaculate touch their lips. Those who find spitting erotic were some of the first to respond, so I’m pretty sure they’re my employees, but I stand by the authenticity of my results.

So, okay, a few of you do spit. Color me the teensiest bit wrong and the slightest bit confused. However, I like it when sexual practices surprise me. It means folks are keeping it fresh, which is one of the first rules of good sex.

Another is being true to yourself. While pushing personal boundaries is often stimulating, no one should feel pressured to participate in what makes them uncomfortable.

You do you, but I’ll leave you with a healthful facts about semen:

Is a natural anti-depressant
Contains anti-anxiety hormones
Encourages better sleep through melatonin
Improves memory and brain function
Contains zinc, an antioxidant that slows aging

Cheers.

Erika Jordan’s Advice For Men Best Questions To Ask A Girl

By

Erika Jordan

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June 11, 2020

You know women like to talk, But do you know what questions to ask her? Erika Jordan wants to help you with that! No matter if she’s your girlfriend or a girl you just met these questions tend to evoke a positive response. They will help you get or keep the girl.

What makes you feel special?

If you could quit your job and pursue your passion what would you do?

Who is the biggest influence in your life?

What’s a fun fact about you that I don’t know yet?

Not only are these great conversation starters but if you take proper notes it’ll help you navigate the relationship. Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

To keep up with latest advice from Erika Jordan follow our YouTube channel and check out The Playmate Pickup podcast.

Who You Date vs Who You Marry

By

Erika Jordan

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August 14, 2022

Have you guys seen the show on Netflix called Sex Life? I binge watched it! A suburban Mother’s attempts to settle for a life of stability and comfort after years of wild passionate craziness. Can you relate?

You’re wild, you’re passionate, you have wild kinky fun and do shit you don’t want your mother to know about. But then you get to a certain part of your life and you feel the need to get it out of your system and settle down with a nice girl. The girl from the church book club wasn’t appealing last year why do we suddenly think that is who we should settle down with?

This societal norm could be contributing to our high divorce rates. If you are passionate, sexual, wild and crazy. Why do you think it’s just a phase? What is wrong with incorporating that passionate fun into your life? Why do we feel we cannot have love, family and stability without eliminating the kinky passion we once lived for?

In my years as a Love Coach I have encountered numerous men who were unable to settle down, slept with multiple women in a week, and avoided commitment like the plague. Yet they got to a point in which they felt it was time to settle down and then instead of choosing a female similar to the ones they were attracted to they seek out a completely different type. The good girl. The girl their mom wants them to marry. Two years later they are cheating and unhappy.

I understand the logic. Insanity is someone who dates the same type of person over and over again expecting different results. Someone who is good for fun might not be good for a long-term relationship. But to go in the complete opposite direction of what excites you is a recipe for disaster. There is a middle ground! Yes, you can have it all.

Most of us want the comfort and safety of a long term relationship while still wanting to hold onto the excitement of our youth. Trying new things together, leaving your comfort zone, and communicating your desires and fears can help relationships maintain their passion.

One of my favorite suggestions for couples is to write a list of things you’d like to try together. Perhaps it is a sexual list, perhaps it isn’t. Try to come up with at least 10 activities each and have them approved by your partner. You can’t decide to have a threesome or go skydiving with an unwilling participant. Write each one on a piece of paper, fold them up and put them in a jar. Once every other week close your eyes and take one from the jar. Routine can be comforting but it can also lead to boredom. We humans have a need for certainty but we also have a need for uncertainty.

My six week course, The Art of Pick Up, is now available with personalized guidance at Playmatepickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you

Erika Jordan is a world renowned Love Expert and NLP practitioner

Valentine’s Day Relationship Inventory Test

By

Dr. Ava Cadell

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January 18, 2016

Whether you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, or you just started dating someone new, Valentine’s Day is the perfect occasion to evaluate your love life.

Sometimes a partner will look great “on paper” in terms of your similar interests or circle of friends, but then as things move forward, the daily behavior and interaction between you just doesn’t make your heart sing. What’s happening here? Is there anything you can do to figure it all out?

Yes there is, and it’s free and easy to accomplish. The truth is that a simple good versus bad list can help you clarify what’s working and what isn’t. Sure, relationships require compromise, but that doesn’t mean you have to settle for being unhappy!

I’m sharing this sample list below from one of my clients, so that you can see the kinds of things I’m suggesting for your list. She had been dating this man for three months, and had sex with him after seven dates. She saw him twice after that before calling me for help. She was confused and conflicted about becoming his girlfriend. In her gut, she knew he wasn’t right for her, but she didn’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day this year.

I had my client write a list of his good and bad qualities. Reading the list, she had a revelation discovering the 15 bad qualities compared to only 10 good ones. Then I asked her what her 10 top priorities were to make her life better, and we checked off the ones that he could fulfill. She could only find 3 ways out of 10 that he could bring joy to her life, and could easily find 7 that would make her life more miserable.

This is how you can create your own list for your relationship. Make two columns – good and bad – and create your inventory list like this:

Relationship Inventory:

GOOD: BAD:

1. Old Friend	His home location is too far
2. Kind	He has too many health issues
3. Gentle	Hardly has any friends
4. Good job	He goes to bed too late
5. Financially stable	Doesn’t like to travel
6. Intelligent	Pessimist prepares for the worse
7. Romantic	Suffers from OCD & anxiety
8. Sense of humor	Homebody
9. No kids or wives	Bad lover
10. Gives compliments	Talks too long on phone
11.	Political differences
12.	Brags about old girlfriends
13.	Complains a lot about people
14.	Shares all his problems
15.	Not generous

Okay, now that you’ve done the hard part, let’s analyze the data to answer the ultimate question of this exercise: Is this person going to make my life better?

Here’s how my client’s evaluation turned out based upon her lifestyle, her priorities, wants, needs and desires.

Travel – NO
Home – NO
Generosity – NO
Sex – NO
Social – NO
Conversation – NO
Bedtime Compatibility – NO
Romance – YES
Compliments – YES
Friendship – YES

So as you can see, the not-so-great news here is that the bad outweighs the good in this analysis. But the good news is that, armed with this information, this woman can now pinpoint the source of her frustration or disappointment within the relationship. Before my client left, I told her she had two choices. She could either discuss these issues with her partner and come to a resolution, or she could make an exit strategy to find someone with whom the good will outweigh the bad!

My client instinctively chose the latter, and I told her not to be sad because this man was just a stepping stone to finding a man worthy of her, physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually. It was the first time I saw her smile, and she told me she felt relieved, like a huge weight had been lifted off her.

You’re better off alone this Valentine’s Day than being with somebody who lacks the qualities that you are looking for in a relationship. Be your own Valentine, and treat yourself as if you are madly in love with you!