Men Intimidated By Women Talking About Sex!

A new study has revealed that when women talk about sex early in the relationship, men get uptight and intimidated! This is interesting, considering that men spend so much time trying to talk us into bed.

The study, published in The European Journal of Social Psychology, was titled a mouthful “Reassuring sex: Can sexual desire and intimacy reduce relationship-specific attachment insecurities?” 

Researchers followed 62 newly dating couples across three “measurement waves.” At “time 1” they studied romantic partners who discussed sexual aspects of their relationship while judges coded their displays of sexual desire and intimacy. “Time 2 and 3” followed them through an 8 month relationship. Participants were asked questions via videotaped interviews.

So what did researchers find? Basically that when women discussed sex in the beginning of the relationship men became insecure. Sad that men are intimidated by women’s sexuality, as the only way to assure communication and make sex more pleasurable and desirable for everyone is to talk about it at various points. The study showed that men viewed female sexual desire as intimating in the beginning of the relationship and felt some performance anxiety. But our own sexual research here at has found that the more you talk about sex, the better it is. Men need to practice talking about sex with the people they are having sex with.

The good news is that as the relationships progressed, men felt more comfortable, less intimidated, and more secure. Our advice to men and women after reading this study? Women; keep talking about sex as much as you feel like, and men; relax, it’s just sex.

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Anka Radakovich is a legendary Sex Columnist, Certified Sexologist, Sex Educator, Screenwriter, and Author of the book THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, PART 2, Tales from New York to Hollywood. THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, Part 2 is her third book. Her first two books, The Wild Girls Club; Tales from below the Belt, and Sexplorations; Journeys to the Erogenous Frontier were both published by Crown/Random House. She was the Sex Columnist for DETAILS Magazine for 9 years and currently writes columns for and Los Angeles Magazine. Her writing has appeared in dozens of magazines including Marie Claire, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Harper’s Bazaar, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Men's Journal, Seventeen, Glamour, and Maxim. She has appeared on numerous television shows including 8 appearances with Conan O’Brien. She was a Jeopardy question under the category “Men’s Mags.” As a Sex Educator and Sexologist, she is a college lecturer at Universities throughout the country who offers her unique brand of sex education. Follow her on Twitter @ankarad.


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