Among the many lessons I’ve learned from the men in my life, one that may come as a particular surprise to women is that not all blowjobs are created equal. In fact, there is such a thing as a bad blow job, and men are disappointed with their partners’ orals skills more than ladies may know. Why? “She was just trying to hurry up and get the job done,” is an explanation I hear over and over again.
Although women do earn kudos for being proactive in bed, many of them seem to be going through the motions, something men actually do notice and do experience frustration with.
While there is a time and a place for all techniques, we ladies must remember that we aren’t the only gender who appreciates slow sensuality and the art of lovemaking. Men may not vocalize it, but they also like moments of non-penetrative body worship. Even if he doesn’t yet know the pleasures of cock-amory, if you will, trust that he’ll want more of it after you orally express your loving desire for his lingam.
So how exactly does one “make love to the penis,” as one of my frustrated male friends described it? Slow down, baby, and become more involved.
Remember that he has sensitivity around his cock, not just in it, and that licking, kissing and sucking not just his dick, but other areas very close by can create a sensational buildup and delightful breaks in between those moments your mouth is full of phallus. Guys go nuts over their nuts being played with and I’ve never met a man who didn’t welcome his perineum being teased.
Use your tongue, not just your lips, when you work your way up and down his dick, and remember that the varied use of a free hand will create a more robust sensation when combined with your sensual suck.
Men aren’t always looking for a jerking up and down motion, they actually love to be stroked, tickled and caressed while your mouth is exploring his body and capturing his gentle reactions to your controlled, wet, movements. Try gently and slowly stroking his shaft while also softly sucking a testicle. Or, try teasing just the dense nerve endings of his glans and corona with the inside of your lips while massaging his taint or his anus.
There are so many different bits to give attention to and so many ways to do it, so if you think you may be stuck in an oral rut, definitely try to slow it down and switch things up. Oral sex is not Daft Punk. Harder, faster and stronger does not mean better.
Again, there’s a time and place for everything, but if we stop thinking of giving oral sex as a motion that must quickly be completed, and start treating the act like his body is poetry rolling off our tongues and feathers under our fingertips, you may find that your skills quickly earn the title of “best blowjob ever.”
Yes, ladies, men do want to be made love to, and so do their penises.