Is Her Cleavage Giving You the Green Light?

Love signals are often hard to see or interpret. For instance, if she’s staring in your eyes and hanging on your every word, does it mean she’s romantically interested in you? Perhaps. Or, it just means she’s a good listener and you’re a good talker. But, when it comes to sexier signals – especially related to man’s best friend, the boobs – all reasoning seems to go out the window.

Men are obsessed with breasts. That’s why when a woman accidentally brushes them with her knockers, wears a plunging neckline, or dares to shimmy her assets anywhere near their eyesight, they wonder, “Is she flirting with me? Did she do that on purpose?” My male friends often come to me with these tales and ask me to help decipher the signs for them.

I’m here to demystify what her boobs may, or may not, be trying to relay to you.

The Boob Brush

Her Story: Nine times out of 10, when a woman passes by you and brushes her boobs up against you, it’s really not what you hope it is. “As a waitress, I’ve accidentally clocked a guy in the head with my breasts when I was bending down to put his plate down,” says Meghan, 27.

Hairdressers and masseuses do it all the time as well. “I never do it on purpose, but it does happen and sometimes the guy will then start to get flirty with me because he’s thinking I did it for him. But, I did it once on purpose to a guy in a bar to get his attention, so I can see how guys would get confused,” says Lisa, 17.

What To Do: It can be confusing. That’s why you need another sign combined with the tit-ilating contact to truly take it as a green light to flirt. “Try striking up a conversation, smile and flirt and if she does the same back then that’s a better sign that she’s interested,” says Julie Spira, founder of

My advice is to break the ice with this: “Well, your boobs and my arm have met; maybe I should introduce myself. Hi, I’m Carl.” “If you aren’t sure, it’s probably best to not respond right away; you don’t want to come off creepy,” says relationship coach Marni Battista, founder of

(For more on the boob brush, check out my Men’s Health article: Are Her Boobs Trying to Tell You Something?)

The Big Stretch

Her Story: If a woman takes an exaggerated yawn and puts her arms over her head for a big stretch, which naturally makes her breasts stick out in your direction, it certainly can mean she’s peacocking for you. I know because I’ve done this even wrote about it in my chapter on flirting in Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend and to Living Life Like a Rock Star (Simon & Schuster).

But, naturally, it can also mean, she’s just yawning and not aware that she’s sticking her boobs out in the process.

What To Do: Pay attention to the other non-verbal moves she makes. “Sometimes a stretch is just a stretch. Don’t assume she likes you… unless she looks you in the eyes or smiles. If she does that, say something flirty like, ‘Looks like you could use a coffee’ or

Is it yoga time?'” says Spira.

The Plunging Neckline

Her Story: Sometimes showing a lot of cleavage and wearing a highly provocative outfit means she is hoping her date will advance to the next level. “If I have a hot date and want to get laid, of course, I’m going to wear something sexy, show a lot of cleavage,” says Chrissy, 35. Other times, as with Joanna, 39, it’s simply about fashion. “I just like V-necks. That’s it. Period. I’m not trying to fuck you every time I show cleavage,” she says.

What To Do: This one is tricky. “Women know that men undress them with their eyes, so it could mean a hook-up is on her mind,” says Spira. Or, it means she’s just confident. “She’s not always screaming for attention. It can just be confidence in herself and her sexuality,” says sex therapist Chris Donaghue, Ph.D. Cleavage aside, another non-verbal cue to look for is to see if her body is turned toward you and leaning in as you talk, says Dr. Donaghue.

The Boob Job Reference

Her Story: Many assume that when a woman invests in $10,000 boob job that she’s looking for compliments. And, that can be true. “Yes, I want compliments! Absolutely,” laughs Michelle, 32, who got her breasts augmented to a size 34DD. Some women even bring up the fact that they got a boob job. So, is that an invitation to say, “nice tits?” Not quite.

What To Do: If a woman actually acknowledges her breast augmentation on her own, a polite compliment might be expected. “A guy on a first date said to me, ‘You have such a classic figure.” I liked that. If he said, ‘Nice tits!” it would’ve been a turn-off,” says Michelle.

But, keep in mind, many women who get boob jobs, get it for them. “Although it’s attractive to you too, women don’t always need your validation. Getting a boob job is fairly common and shouldn’t make you think that a woman is promiscuous or needing attention or that it’s okay to make a comment about them,” says Battista.


Previous articleGive The Perfect V-Day VJ: Cunninglingus Tips
Next articleSexual Choreography
With her provocative writing style and penchant for in-depth research, Carrie Borzillo has earned renown and respect over her 20 years as a music and entertainment journalist. Her talents and passion for pop culture have also resulted in three critically-acclaimed books: Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day by Day Chronicle (Carlton Books, 2000; re-issued to commemorate the 20th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's passing in 2014 as Nirvana: In the Words of the People Who Were There; Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star (Simon Spotlight Entertainment, 2008), and Tera Patrick's Sinner Takes All: A Memoir of Love and Porn (Gotham/Penguin, 2010). A bona fide rock chick from birth, Carrie started her music journalism career at age 17. She covered the local music scene in her home state of Connecticut before graduating to publications such as Billboard, Spin and She has also covered celebrities, television, and music for People, E! Online, Us Weekly, and Teen People, and has penned cover stories for Billboard, TeenPeople, CosmoGirl! and Hit Parader. She has also written about sex advice columns for Gene Simmons’ Tongue magazine, SuicideGirls, and THC Expose magazine, and has appeared as a sexpert on national shows such as “Loveline” with Dr. Drew, Playboy Radio, and others. She currently writes about sex and relationships for Men's Health, Sphere, and others.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here