Relationship Rules

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September 18, 2022

Relationships are hard. We seem to think there are set rules for relationships and everyone is aware of them. This is just not true.

If you look up a word in Webster’s dictionary you will often see multiple definitions for the same word. The same is true for relationships.. One person might feel when you’re in a relationship you should check in with your partner every day. Another person might think it’s perfectly normal to go days without speaking if they already made plans to see their partner at the end of the week. Before you get into a relationship discuss what a relationship means to you.

What are the rules that you feel your partner should follow once they become your boyfriend. What changes when you become official Love is a two-way street constantly under construction. My six week course, the artist pick up, is now available with personalize guidance at Playmate pickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you.

Erica Jordan is a certified Love Coach, NLP practitioner, and leader in the field of digital romance. Try her six week course, The Art Of Pickup! Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

PlaymatePickup.com

How To Listen To A Woman

By

Erika Jordan

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November 13, 2020

Let’s talk about listening.

I know men are often overwhelmed when listening to a female. They feel obligated to fix all of her problems. Sure it would be great if you could fix all of her problems however most women see conversation as a productive end in and of itself. What does that mean that means that if she feels sufficiently heard she doesn’t necessarily need to take it any further. The fact that she has been listen to soothe her anxieties and dolls the pangs of negative feelings.

Sharing with someone who understands and loves her heels her from the inside. This equips her with the emotional tools necessary to handle the trials of the outside world. Women tend to understand the emotional parts of messages more effectively than men. This is probably because research indicates that women process messages on both sides of the brain more so than men. So men tend to process more on the left side of the brain and emotional information is processed on the right.

Here are a few listening tips:

1. Women feel the need to express everything, I mean everything, in order to provide you with the most information about the situation, please be patient. Women often feel that men don’t care about what they are saying due to the lack of reaction, so be involved. Don’t assume what they are saying is not important because the subject is not important to you. If she is taking the time to talk about it, she wants you to take the time to listen to her.

2. Find the perfect balance between logic, empathy and our emotions. What is really happening? Why is she telling you to do the dishes. Does she feel disrespected or unappreciated? Put yourself in her shoes.

3. Check your emotions. Why are you so angry that she’s asking you to do the dishes. Why did you react that way. Taking a moment to rise above the situation and view it neutrally will transform your world.

Communication is the most important thing in any relationship. Improving your communication skills will improve every area of your life. From making you more successful in business to improving family relations and increasing intimacy with your significant other.

It requires work to keep your relationship strong. After the initial serotonin and oxytocin rush wears off you’re left with feelings of boredom. It’s a normal transition because everything seems boring compared to that new relationship energy. You might not be able to maintain the excitement you felt during the first few weeks but much like cocaine you can continuously pursue that initial buzz but no amount of cocaine will get you there. You have to find a buzz you can sustain (like eating healthy and getting adequate sleep.) If you want a relationship to last you have to be aware of the inevitable ups and downs and be able to adjust accordingly.

Communication and listening is a primary skill for a successful relationship. For more on needed skills let Erika Jordan guide you with Advice For Men Skills.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Men and Women Are Different: How to Communicate About Sex

By

Erika Jordan

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November 27, 2020

Men and women are so different they seem to come from different planets. Or at least that is what John Grey the author of the New York Times best seller, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus claims. Embracing and accepting our differences will help us maintain healthy relationships.

But what does this mean? Men are able to focus on narrow issues while blocking out unrelated information and distractions. Women naturally see everyday things from a broader, “big-picture” vantage point. We can all recall walking by a couple where the woman is chatting away and guy is seemingly staring into space. The man might really care for her but just can’t tune in to all the mind numbing details. Men prefer to get to the point quickly instead of walking around the point in circles.

Instead of getting into the complex mind of a female, I will simply point out five major points. That if employed will help you communicate much better with women.

1: I don’t know, what do you want to do? We all hate this question but it is one that is asked quite often. When she asks you a question, it is best to always have an answer. Even if you have no preference where to eat just say the first place that pops into your mind. Always having an answer sets a tone and creates a pattern that has her seeing you as the solution man and a man who cares. Don’t pretend to know more than you do. A lie is visible from space. I will look into that is a viable answer. I have heard many times that a woman’s favorite three words is some form of “I’ve got this”.

2: Communication not interrogation. You have heard people say if you get her talking about herself she will feel like she is having a good time and connecting with you. This is true but it doesn’t mean interrogate her. Asking her a steady stream of questions makes her feel like you are genuinely interested in her. Contribute to the conversation and make sure you relate to her and evoke emotion. Make sure that you ask open ended questions that require more than one word as a response and can turn into a conversation. “What do you like about living in Los Angeles?”

3: Learning to drive a woman. If you want something to change in the relationship it is going to require time. Take time as you sit together, cook together, eat together, travel together to voice your dissatisfaction with certain aspects of the relationship. Just do it in a calm fashion. Tone of voice is about half of the communication so pay attention to your tone. Reassure her that you are happy (if you are) with the overall relationship. You just want one or two things to change. When she has the mic be an active listener, don’t look around or just sit there, and don’t say “uh uh” every few seconds. Watch her body language, tone and proceed like they taught us in drivers ed. IPDE. Identify, predict, decide and execute.

4: No unnecessary apology. Most women I know think a man comes off as a wimp when he starts every sentence off with “I’m sorry.” Don’t apologize for not agreeing with her. Don’t apologize for wanting to watch the game (unless it’s during her grandmothers funeral). Not only will you over-use “sorry” but it will not have the same impact when you really mean it.

5: Don’t argue with crazy. When I say “Don’t argue with crazy.” I mean that to a woman, she’s not being crazy at the moment. Even though every other person on this earth would clearly side with your opinion. They are what they are and you attempting to rationalize or solve the problem isn’t always the right thing to do. If she starts crying during a cat commercial because the cat is “just so fluffy,” the smart thing to do is simply put your arm around her and attempt to put yourself in her shoes. Is she suffering from PMS, did her cat just die, or did she forget to take her meds? Regardless of where she is on the crazy scale the right way to deal with something you see is illogical or “crazy” is to sympathize with it and bring some humor into the situation if possible to lighten the mood.

Since much of communication is listening time to review the previous post from Erika Jordan, How To Listen To A Woman.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

There Are More Than Two Genders

By

Erika Jordan

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December 13, 2020

Newsflash! There are more than 2 types of gender.

I felt the need to clarify after encountering numerous videos pointing to text that says, “there are only 2 genders.” This misinformation is dismissive of real live human beings who just happen to not fit into our societal gender norms.

There are many different gender identities. Such as male, female, transgender, gender neutral, non-binary, agender, pangender, genderqueer, two-spirit, third gender etc. But first let’s talk about your definition of gender?

What’s a male? Anyone who has a penis? What 1s a person who was born with ovaries and a penis?

Some people conclude XY chromosome means male and XX chromosome means female. Well then what about XXY chromosomes or XXXY?

Whatever your definition of male or female it is simply your interpretation. It is wrong to not accept something simply because you do not fully understand it. Our societies need to force people into male or female is not universal. Australia recognizes a third gender, in South Asia they call the third gender hijra.

Intersex is a term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with sexual anatomy or a reproductive system that doesn’t ft the typical definition of male or female. 1-2 out of 100 people are born intersex. There are more intersex individuals than red heads and we would not think to deny their existence. Our closed mindedness not only refuses to acknowledge the existence of over 70 million people in the world. But we shame them and attempt to force them into choosing male or female. In an attempt to make their child “normal” some parents even opt for surgery that can create irreversible physical and psychological harm.

If a person is born with XXY chromosomes or XXXY it does not necessarily result in a condition where there is discrepancy between internal and external genitalia. There might be problems with sex hormone levels, sperm count, overall sexual development, or altered number of sex chromosomes. A person could go their entire life not knowing they do not fit into the gender norm.

The people who deny the existence of a third gender, often consider themselves conservative and religious implying that God has a plan. And yet somehow messed up with anyone who does not fit neatly into the male or female category. Other cultures celebrate the third gender. Perhaps they have a perspective that the average person can’t understand. Whatever the case may be at the very least we should all acknowledge that there are more than two genders. This is not an opinion this is based on facts. People that don’t fit into the gender norm deserve to be acknowledged and accepted the way they are.

If this is still confusing time to go back and let Erika Jordan help. Let us explore the differences in the two most common genders in Men and Women Are Different.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Erika Jordan

Certified Love Coach, NLP Practitioner