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Laura Holt: In Honor of an Empowering Classic TV Heroine

Laura Holt: In Honor of an Empowering–and Itchy–Classic TV Heroine

For the grand occasion of this, Women’s History Month, the Feminist Sexpert honors one of the first fictional heroines who gave women across the country full permission to feel capable. Intelligent. Empowered. And itchy.

Known primarily today as ‘that one TV series that Pierce Brosnan did before he played James Bond,’ the 1980s TV series Remington Steele holds equal cultural significance as one of the first mainstream network shows to present female viewers with a brilliant, powerful career woman heroine who had brains, grit–and hormones.

Laura Holt, portrayed by the fantastic Stephanie Zimbalist, was a private detective who, despite training thoroughly for her craft and showing amazing logic and intuition in the solving of various cases (not to mention a mean right hook, when the situation calls for it), is unable to draw clients to her newly opened agency. Why? Well, basically and essentially, because she has a vagina. That’s right; Laura finds that few people wish to enlist the services of a female private detective–so she puts her creativity to work and conjures the identity of a fictional male supervisor–a gentleman known as Remington Steele.

The plan works well until a gorgeous, mysterious Englishman (played by Pierce Brosnan, one of my first and longest running crushes) mysteriously appears in Laura’s life–a handsome stranger with an unknown past, who falls into Laura’s life and soon becomes the very fetching face of the Remington Steele agency. She does the work, he takes the bows–but it is always acknowledged that Laura is the brains and savvy behind the operation. And as she and Remington work side by side, the two fall in love.

Now granted, Laura Holt was far from the first powerful, capable unmarried career woman to serve as the heroine of a hit TV show. That honor would be shared by Ann Marie in That Girl (Marlo Thomas), Mary Richards in The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Julia, the title character of the Diahann Carroll TV show that depicted the life of a nurse, and Lucy in The Lucy Show. And of course, we’d already seen our fair share of kickass action heroines on the small screen, including Emma Peel in The Avengers, Pepper in Police Woman, Wonder Woman, The Bionic Woman and Charlie’s Angels. Yet, while they were emboldened to express their moxy, intellect and skills, none of these ladies seemed to have much of a sex life, or to want one.

Ah, but our gal Laura wants–and, in her own classy, reserved way, she expresses her desires for the charming, stunning gent who endlessly tempts and intrigues her.

In episode two of season one of Remington Steele (not that The Feminist Sexpert kept track), the heavenly Remington makes his first blatant attempt to seduce Laura–suggesting that they allow their passions to explode into something more fulfilling. After Laura clarifies that Steele does indeed want to ‘jump in the sack’ (love that Laura), she affirms that she would love to–but that, in an attempt to remain professional and maintain total control over their situation, she will refrain. Later she admits to Bernice Foxe, her secretary and sisterfriend, that she feels ‘itchy’ for Steele.

Um, wut? Did a woman on ’80s TV who was not Alexis Carrington just admit to being horny for some hot hunk? Holy Sexual Liberation, Batman!

Remington Steele is widely regarded among the first “Will they or won’t they?” shows, in which viewers are left to wonder as to whether the program’s central couple will surrender to their bond of strong sexual tension and head for the bedroom. And while Remington and Laura do refrain from hitting the sheets until they marry at the series end (sheesh, how did Laura hold out for five seasons?!) they enjoy many passionate kisses, romantic dances, and delicious seductive dialogue that kept female viewers in particular thirsty for more.

How thirsty? Well, I recently came across a Remington Steele fan board dating back to 2007, in which one lass claimed that she was so aroused by one particular episode of Steele that she tossed her TV to the ground and humped it merrily. We’ll just hope she was joking. In addition, several film scholars wrote essays about the impact of Steele on the expression of female sexuality on television (including Female Sexuality on TV: Suppression, Declension, and Remington Steele by Angus Johnston). 

To this day, Stephanie Zimbalist has said in various interviews that she is often approached by women who credit Laura Holt among their first and primary role models–and I definitely count myself among those women. What they might silently add is, “You and Pierce Brosnan taught me that is OK to be itchy.”

Ho! Ho! Hot! Feminist Erotica for the Holidays

Ah, the holidays. A time of warmth, love, downright jolly sentiments, and really good festive feminist erotica! The Feminist Sexpert is proud to debut her newest book, Of Mischief and Mistletoe: Scandal at Holiday House, now available through Scandalous Publishing!

Beyond showcasing her sentimental Yuletide tale of male brothels for women, a sexist politician who gets his comeuppance from an unbeatable team of his feminist philanthropist wife and a tough lady private detective who wields a candy cane that doubles as a weapon of self-defense and has a hot male secretary on the payroll, I’m also proud to spotlight Scandalous Publishing.

Read on for my interview with Stephanie Vega, publisher in chief of this groundbreaking feminist publishing house–one where all titles sexually and socially empower women.

1. Stephanie, I’m so proud to be an author with Scandalous Publishing, a proud publisher of feminist erotica. What do you want people to know about Scandalous, and the amazing books it produces?

We live by one philosophy: We aren’t your mother’s romance novels. Our heroines never take the backseat to the men in their lives. They’re free and strong, and our books never adhere to the old trope that sexually empowered women get ‘punished.’

2. Your newest release just happens to be mine, and I’m very pleased to bring Mischief and Mistletoe: Scandal at Holly House, a feminist erotic mystery, to our readers. Tell us more about it!

One of the things Scandalous Publishing is known for is how our heroines flip the script on double standards of the past. Mischief and Mistletoe does just that. Its setting in a ‘brothel’ where men service women is just the tip of the iceberg in that respect. So let’s just say there’s political intrigue, lots of sex, and the good ol’ boys get what’s coming to them in the end.

3. What are some of your other great new releases?

One of our writers, Amber Monroe, is masterful at femdom/cuckolding tales. But in ‘Edge of Night,’ she gives a series of short stories that are not only erotic, but have those twist endings. Think of it as an erotic version of ‘The Twilight Zone.’ Response has been good, so a sequel may be coming.

4. Scandalous Publishing is an offshoot of Scandalous Women, a signature, sex positive feminist online magazine. Tell us more about SW, where I am a proud writer!

Scandalous Women is Cosmopolitan Magazine on steroids. In fact, a reviewer once described it as ‘for the Cosmo Girl’s trashier sister.’ I think a better descriptor would be ‘for the Cosmo Girl’s trashier and more socially aware sister.’ Though we have a limited budget, we like to think this is what Playgirl could have become.

5. Where can people find Scandalous Publishing online?

Right here! Scandalouspublishing.com

If He’s Said I Do, Here’s How to Say I Don’t: The Feminist Sexpert Guide to Rejecting Married Men

Photo by Monstera from Pexels

 

 

The Feminist Sexpert actively dislikes playing the drinking game Never Have I Ever, because–well–I never get to drink! I’ve pretty much tried everything on the sexual spectrum, and (as my icon Mae West phrases it) “Twice if it feels good!” But the one thing I’ve never done–and that I never plan to do–is have an affair with a married man.

Why? Well, I attribute this decision to a mixture of both modern and traditional values. Modern in the sense that–well–I’m the Feminist Sexpert damn it, and I refuse to break the Girl Code by dallying with somebody else’s man. Traditional in the sense that, the times that I’ve attended weddings, I take the ‘forsaking all others’ bit pretty darned seriously.  

But, some might ask: What if he’s in an open marriage? Nope. What if he isn’t legally married but is in a serious relationship? Nope. What if he’s really, really hot? Sigh, it physically wounds me to say this, but….No. Look, I’ve even surrendered crushes on favorite male models and adult actors once I found out they were hitched or seriously committed.

Is it always easy? No. I’ve turned down some major league hotties, with my clit and pussy screaming–no, make that wailing–a chorus of protest every step of the way–but at the end of the day, my heart and my mind stay good.

To any sisterfriends out there who have trouble resisting the charms of bewedded baes, here are a few tips that might help:

1. Get to know their spouses and families. If this isn’t possible, at least locate photos of them on social media. Once you see that smiling sisterfriend or that adorable kid, you wouldn’t dream of doing ’em dirty.

2. If you have to interact with Tommy Tempter at work or in a social group, be sure not ‘go to the barbecue hungry,’ if you catch my meaning. If you have a partner yourself, work with him/her/they to heat things up in the bedroom so that you don’t leave home unsatisfied. If you are happily self-partnered like myself, hit up your friends with bens, hire a male companion (my favorite remedy for just about any sexual issue–ride ’em Cowgirl!), attend a male strip show, buy a new toy and some porn, etc.

3. Avoid developing deep, close friendships with married men–unless they’re married to other men and are not tempted by female you, or bear such a strong likeness to Quasimodo on Quaaludes that you’re not even remotely tempted. A fun friendship date that seems like just a lunch or just a movie could become more. Restrict social messaging to work-related topics or quick hi/byes.

4. Seek some artistic inspiration.  See the Jill Clayburgh classic “An Unmarried Woman” to see the story of a woman who bravely survives her husband’s betrayal and abandonment. Or listen to the classic Shirley Murdock song “Husband.” The powerful lyrics include:

“My desire for you is strong, but I won’t do wrong. You’re that lady’s husband…

My decency prevails… Well I’m a lady with class and I know my desire will pass…

This cannot [be] because you are her husband.”

5. Think about what it would be like if the high heel was on the other foot. Imagine the pain and anger of finding out that the man of your heart was breaking yours–with the help of another woman.

6. Don’t believe his bunk. Of course he’s going to tell you his wife is so darned evil, she makes Maleficent look like Doris Day. What is he going to say? “My wife is a sweet, wonderful woman, which I’m sure will make you feel just wonderful about helping me betray her?” If she is indeed such an awful person, he needs to divorce her. But if his come on starts with the line, “My wife doesn’t understand me,” then the ultimate cool reply is, “Then the poor dear and I have something in common. Think I’ll call her up, and we’ll do coffee.”

 

Basking in the Afterglow: Interview with Lilly Sparks, CEO of Afterglow

A take charge woman instructs her handsome lover on just how she’d like to be pleased. He more than willingly obliges her, catering to her innermost desires and fantasies as he goes down on her–all the while playing up to her as he indulges and satisfies her every need. You can see it all in the porn film….


Wait, wha? This is a porn film? Yep–there is actually an award-winning hardcore film that features no penetration, just lots of lady lovin’. It’s called Lip Service, and it’s the production of afterglow, a company “where women’s pleasure comes first.”



A woman- and couples-geared website that features tasteful sensual visuals, erotic stories, and films like the one mentioned above. This porn site….

Wait, wha? This is a porn site? Yep. It’s afterglow, the place where you can see Lip Service and other positive, couples-oriented films that educate as they entertain.

afterglow is the creation of entrepreneur Lilly Sparks, who considers afterglow her true and literal passion project.

“I was always a big fan of romance novels, where I could read about the sex I wanted to be having, but wasn’t,” she said. “I turned to porn, like many do, but didn’t find what I wanted.”

So Sparks decided to make her own porn.

“I envisioned porn that could inspire lovers,” she said. “Visual explorations that are sensitive, that show a holistic view of sex.”

Sparks and her team set out to create something different.

“We wanted to create a holistic view of sex,” said Sparks. “We wanted to take the stigma out of porn by producing ethical material.”

The result of this vision? afterglow.


“Founded in 2020 by entrepreneur Lilly Sparks, afterglow is the sex-positive, pleasure-focused platform and community shifting the adult media paradigm. Curating stories, igniting conversations and offering premium video and written content centered on sexual fulfillment, afterglow empowers everyone to become experts in their own pleasure,” read a related news release. “Paving the way for a future we want to live and star in, afterglow is an adult site for those 18+ with original, licensed content behind a paywall, and free sex-positive articles. Normalizing sex and porn in a modern world, afterglow is the sex resource we all need.”

Beyond producing positive material, afterglow prides itself on ethical creative processes.

“We make our talent feel comfortable,” she said. “They can say yes or no to anything. They can stop at any time and take breaks. And we have snacks for them.”

Something else The Feminist Sexpert likes: These films feature plenty of deep kissing and eye contact, and feature performers who really seem to dig each other.

Aside from producing their own XXX films, which also include the award-winning U Up? and Cravings starring alt porn stud Mickey Mod, and showcasing classy, elegantly appointed beauty films like Timeless Affairs 3, and more, as well as showcasing erotic fiction at their site, afterglow is eager to showcase classic erotic films such as their recently acquired creative inventory of Inpulse Pictures and Lennox Films. “The new deal will include distribution of eleven groundbreaking films produced by feminist trailblazer Nina Lennox,” read a related news release, “who famously set the standard of erotic cinema that caters to the fantasies of women and couples.”

“In seeking consultation for afterglow, I spoke to Nina Lennox,” said Sparks. “Her vision was so similar to mine, and she was so helpful.”   

 

It was in fact the Inpulse/Lennox acquisition that first drew my attention to Afterglow. As a longtime fan and proponent of Inpulse/Lennox Films–some of my favorites include Erection Services starring Julian, about a male bordello for women, Anticipation, a star vehicle for Dale Dabone, and Snapshot starring Evan Stone, about hot male models seducing female photographers and crew members–I came to realize that there was literally nowhere online to purchase these titles, produced in the mid 2000s. 

But now, Inpulse is back. And Afterglow is here. We lady porn fans have a lot to ‘anticipate.’     

Afterglow has very kindly offered my no doubt incalculable fanbase at Feminist Sexpert headquarters a gift for a free 14 day membership….just signup at xoafterglow.com and use code FEMINISTSEXPERT. Thanks, Lilly!

 

Ebony Idol: The Feminist Sexpert Interviews Brick Cummings

Whether on the football field or the set of an adult film, gorgeous new porn actor Brick Cummings is always devoted to delivering optimum performance. And while The Feminist Sexpert has yet to see Brick play football, she has seen his adult work and–Ladies–the gentleman ain’t lyin’!



Brick, in fact, had a dream of becoming a NFL player and played his favorite sport in college. Yet he had another dream, one that ultimately set the course of his life and career.

“I’m a good fucker,” he proclaimed, and very truthfully. “Not to brag, but I have a high sex drive and like to please in the bedroom.” (The Feminist Sexpert repeats: He ain’t bragging).

Eager to put his skills to work, this Florida native accepted the offer of a talent scout to commence his career as a porn performer; performing for sites like Desperate Amateurs and the popular (especially with The Feminist Sexpert) See Him Fuck–that scene performed with Latina beauty Camila Cortez.

“She was so energetic and professional,” he said. “I loved working with her.”



Brick impresses as a true gentleman who respects female talent; a trait that carries over to his on screen performances.

“I always want to make the lady I’m with feel comfortable,” he said. “I’m there to be helpful.”

Ensuring his partner’s comfort and pleasure is always part of Brick’s game plan, which also involves working out, eating right, and approaching every scene with a fresh, positive mindset; one that also emphasizes presenting positive portrayals of people of color.

“I’m very methodical when it comes to my performances,” he said.

And the method is working, given the fact that–mere weeks into his career–Brick is already booking scene after scene, and looks forward to a bright future as an adult actor and content creator. Look for him soon on The FlourishXXX, where he recently completed a scorching scene with Gianna Dior also featuring Isiah Maxwell, and subscribe to his Only Fans at https://onlyfans.com/brickkummings.

“This is the best job I’ve ever had,” he said. “I’m having a blast!”

And in enjoying porn and adult entertainment, Brick invites us ladies to share this experience of sublime sensual adventure.

“If you want it, go for it, without reservation,” he said. “You only live once.”

More Cummings soon!


Flesh for Fantasy: The Feminist Sexpert Remembers Flesh Gordon

Flesh for Fantasy: The Feminist Sexpert Remembers Flesh Gordon

The year 2024 marks the 50th anniversary of a seminal motion picture–the Feminist Sexpert never has been precisely certain as to what seminal means, but what the heck? It sounds impressive. The fact remains that the scifi epic known as Flesh Gordon is a one of a kind motion picture. And, all things considered, that’s probably a very good thing. Indeed.

Flesh Gordon, as one might expect, best can be described as a riotous porn parody of a science fiction masterpiece called…2001: A Space Odyssey! Nope, Flesh Gordon, of course, was the softcore version of Flash Gordon–one that essentially takes the time-honored comic book hero known and beloved throughout the generations and turns him right on his–um–ear?

Flesh Gordon is the warm, oh so sentimental tale of evil Emperor Wang, who targets the planet Earth with his sex rays. Hunky blond Flesh Gordon and beautiful adventuress Dale Ardor fly in to save the day, battling as they do a creature shaped like a certain male organ (and it sure ain’t a prostate) and assorted villains.

Although possessing of a sizable cult following, Flesh Gordon cannot in any way be considered femme porn. The film contains tasteless rape jokes and grossly stereotypical LGBT characters (Prince Precious? Really? And Dale Ardor is kidnapped by predatory lesbian aliens). Yet the picture is worthy of note to any femme porn historian, primarily because–much like its sequel, Flesh Gordon and the Cosmic Cheerleaders–the original Flesh Gordon is centered around a sexy, gorgeous male hero custom designed to appeal to women.

Leading man Jason Williams is described by IMDB as a handsome and charming blonde actor who starred in dirty exploitation flicks. It was quite a novelty of that time–or, really, any time–for the male body to be put on display in all its glory, as the visual centerpiece of a film. And Williams, said to be a kind and amiable gent in real life, also played the White Knight in the XXX musical fantasy version of Alice in Wonderland. 

It would have been easy for directors to morph Flesh Gordon into Felesha Gordon, staging a cut rate version of Barbarella in the process. Yet the narratives of both Flesh Gordon movies necessitated and called upon the total objectification of the male–with the delicious Vince Murdocco taking the title character to even riskier extremes in the sequel, Flesh Gordon and the Cosmic Cheerleaders, as he is abducted by said cheerleaders and also dominated by a BBW space queen. Interestingly enough, the actress playing the space queen is now a leading casting director in Hollywood, though I won’t mention her name.

Much like the Joan Collins/Oliver Tobias scorcher The Stud, Flesh Gordon (doncha just love these oh so subtle titles?) represents the rare and welcome exhibition of a gorgeous male form in a straight softcore movie. I’d love to see a reboot free of offensive jokes and stereotypes–but if viewed in just the right frame of mind (horny and maybe slightly intoxicated comes to mind), Flesh is a fun flick.

Rising Star: The Feminist Sexpert Interviews Joshua Lewis

 

The world of adult entertainment is brimming with young hotties–most of them of the female variety. Well, Ladies, all of that is about to change…

Ladies, a show of hands please! How many of you remember the classic book Cheri, penned by the legendary feminist authoress Colette, that concerned a gorgeous, charming young Frenchman who engages in a red hot romance with an older woman? Ah, nice! Now, a second show of hands please! How many of you walked in on Hubby watching a porno that pairs a barely legal babe with a plausible looking dude who (surprise, surprise) is his age?! Oh. That’s every hand in the room. And some of them, I notice, have their middle fingers conveniently raised. In Hubby’s general direction.

Well Ladies, never fear. I have found a Cheri for the New Age, and his name is Joshua Lewis.

Dubbed “the boy next door who will change your whole life” by female talent and directors (and at least one female Sexpert columnist–I’m sure the others will catch on), this 19-year-old, classically handsome blond male talent with a bad boy twist started as an OnlyFans creator and is now in the Top 1%. He’s signed with and is one of the most requested male models at the top adult agencies, and is already scoring nominations with less than one year in the industry—he just got his first and he’s up for Creator of Year (Man) from the YNOT Cam Awards. Although he’s one of the newest nominees in the category, Joshua stands a good chance of winning, as his fans and industry friends #rockedthevote for him every 24 hours through September 30th. Joshua has already worked for Reality Kings, Brazzers, Team Skeet, Porn Pros, See Him Fuck (a studio much beloved by the Feminist Sexpert, as the male body is showcased for once) and Deep Throat Sirens.

Despite receiving such grand adulation so early in her career, Joshua remains kind, well-spoken, and deeply humbled by his success.

“I’m very appreciative of my success, to my fans, and to my team–my press rep Erika, my agent Sandra, all of them,” he said. “It’s gratifying.”

Joshua is also appreciative of women–as is evident in his performances.

“I love working with all types of women, older, younger, all shapes and sizes,” he said. “I don’t have a preference. It’s her personality that matters, if we connect.”

And, yes–in a good number of his scenes, he’s the hot young lover, and she’s often the older, more seasoned partner. Doncha love it? In that way, the viewer can put herself in the place of his scene partner.

“The fans want to see me, and what I would do to them. It’s not about how she looks.,” he said, adding, “My fans love seeing me with older women.”

Yes.

And beyond the issue of age and aesthetics, Josh–who maintains great creative control over the production of his scenes, shot his early amateur work himself and writes his own scene descriptions and site content. He’s also skilled at camera work.

“I especially like to include humor in my scenes,” he said. “I like viewers to laugh and get off.”

Beyond his films, Josh remains deeply engaged with his fans. Keep up with everything in his universe by following him on IG @joshuaaalewisss.

“Fans are so important to me,” he said. “They’re the ones that support you, that pay for your content, that give you Likes and Favorites on social media,” he said. “I wouldn’t be where I am today without them.”

And beyond the fantasy fulfillment offered by cam and text-based platforms, Joshua feels that these online venues gives him the opportunity to form a deeper connection with fans.

“Here they got to talk to me, to learn more about me,” he said. “They get to know who I am as a person.”

He also loves to meet fans in person, and has done so a great deal recently. Joshua recently appeared at EXXXOTICA Miami this weekend, where he signed at the Chaturbate booth. He’ll also appear at the Edison, NJ and Washington, DC. shows.

Through his communications with fans and others, Joshua also hopes to disprove some of the stereotypes that people have about adult performers.

“I take care of my body, I eat healthy and get enough rest–if I stay up all night, I’m loading content, not partying,” he said. “I’m very self-aware and take care of my health.”

Joshua also has a clear direction for the path of his career, hoping in the future to do more feature work and perhaps even directing work–along with staying on track to being one of the hottest male performers in the business. Because I say so.

To vote for Joshua to win his YNOT Award, establish a YNOT ID to vote—go to ynotid.com/user/register, choose a username and password, and put in your birthday and industry role. Once you get an email that your YNOT ID is approved, head over to awards.ynotcam.com/vote, look for Joshua’s category, click his name, and hit the “submit vote” button.

Josh expresses great love for his female fans–and he has some advice for those who may feel a bit bashful about watching adult material.

“Take your time, relax, enjoy yourself and get off,” he said. “It’s only natural.”

I’m the Feminist Sexpert, and I approve this message.

Building Bridges, Not Walls: Bridging the Gap Between Pro- and Anti-Porn Feminists

Image from Pexels

Imagine being a strong, intelligent woman who has something to say–and show–about sex. You’re an actress, a content creator, a writer, a producer, or all of the above, who produces beautiful and highly erotic films and books for a female/couples audience. Your only wish is to help other women embrace and enjoy their sexuality–to show them a good time, to turn them on, to educate them. You want to help women achieve sexual equality with men, and to enhance their sexual health and well being as well.

Only to be told that you’re a victim, a tool of the patriarchy, a brainwashed slave, and a traitor to other women.

Now imagine being a strong, intelligent woman who counsels and supports other women. Maybe one of your clients tells you that her abuser or attacker used porn as a blueprint for their assault–or perhaps told them that he knows she likes rough treatment, because of the success of abuse porn and erotica. Or perhaps you’re a wife whose husband pressures you to look and perform like his favorite adult star, or a mother who walks in and sees her children perusing images of women being struck, gagged, insulted, made to weep, etc., etc. You speak up about it.

Only to be told that you’re a censorship maven who hates sex.

Both of these women need and deserve to be heard.

As The Feminist Sexpert, I have the honor of reviewing and promoting the very best of porn. I’ve interviewed so many brilliant woman directors and content creators that deliver beautiful, sex-positive, ethically produced productions for women. I’ve interviewed actresses who produce their own content, and who insist on respect and ethical treatment, both for themselves and other women on set. I’ve interviewed actors who are walking dreams; handsome, articulate, talented gentlemen who consider it their primary job and passion in life to please women of all ages and body types.

As a feminist activist, I’ve talked to human rights rescue workers who have dealt with human trafficking victims forced into porn–because when people are raped and abused, sometimes that abuse is recorded and sold. I’ve seen video testimonials of women assaulted on set, whose director or actor perpetrators are still at large and working in the industry. I’ve talked to rape crisis counselors who confided to me that several clients had come to them with a story about their assaults–a story that centered around another story.

“I told him I didn’t want him to get rough with me during sex. But he told me that he supposed I had rape fantasies, like all women did, and that I’d probably enjoyed 50 Shades of Grey,” the survivors revealed. “He told me that he knew I wanted it. Then he ignored me when I said no.”

“He raped me.”

Can we ever build a bridge between pro- and anti-porn feminists? I believe we can; but in order to do so, both sides must listen.

Anti-Porn Feminists: Don’t believe the stereotype that most women in porn are forced or victimized. Talk to women in the industry and watch their work. And defend their right to do the work that they choose, without fear of censorship or slutshaming.

Pro-Porn Feminists: Get educated about the horrifying realities of human trafficking, child porn, and on set abuse. Learn to spot the signs of abuse going on around you, and do something about it. And if women have issues with the industry, listen and heed their words. Make sure that all of your content is ethical and nonviolent. Yes, we all have our fetishes, but actual physical or psychological harm is never OK.

In the adult industry, I am here to create and promote. But I’m also here to protect. And really, everyone should be. There is indeed strength in numbers, but only if we all pull together. So you see more feminist creators, more special lines and titles for women and couples. As one actress told me, “The change is on the horizon.” As The Weeknd sang in a song about giving a woman an orgasm, “I feel it coming.” As I say, “The revolution is live.”

V-Day: Rise, Dance and Celebrate Women

Photo by Jill Wellington, found at Pexels

I can see a world where we all live
Safe and free from all oppression
No more rape or incest, or abuse
Women are not a possession--Break the Chain, Tena Clark

What is V-Day?

Established by the amazing playwright and activist Eve Ensler in 1998, the V-Day movement is a global activist movement to end violence against women and girls.

So what does V stand for? It stands for Victory, Voices and Valentine. And it stands for Vagina.

How Do We Celebrate V-Day?

We celebrate V-Day on and around Feb. 14, by championing this ever-important cause in every way possible. In some communities, activists do their part by hosting One Billion Rising dances and marches. Much like Take Back the Night, the signature anti-rape march celebrated at numerous college campuses across the country.

One Billion Rising events feature speeches, art displays, and a ceremonial dance set to the tune of Break the Chain, a powerful song and dance produced by Eve Ensler and V-Day, directed by Tony Stroebel, written and produced by Tena Clark with music by Tena Clark and Tim Heintz, and featuring dancer and choreographer Debbie Allen.

The Feminist Sexpert personally has participated in One Billion Rising dances and rallys in city squares, at schools, and at women’s centers. And as a person who enjoys breaking out in random fits of public dancing for little reason whatsoever when the mood strikes, I particularly enjoy putting my limited dance skill set to use in the service of such a fine cause.

People also celebrate V-Day by staging theatrical productions of Eve Ensler’s brilliant play, “The Vagina Monologues” and by hosting various fund-raisers on behalf of domestic violence and sexual assault centers.

As a house writer with the Metaphysical Erotica publishing house, I spearheaded a One Billion Rising fund-raiser that involved the writing and publication of a feminist erotic anthology; part of the proceeds of which went to benefit the One Billion Rising foundation.

V-Day is a day to celebrate, to take action, and to remember. We dance and rise for our mothers and sisters, nieces and daughters, friends and strangers alike. We dance for women and girls, in our ongoing quest to empower them–to overcome the heinous acts of physical, sexual and emotional abuse that serve to mar our majesty on a daily basis.

I rise in the memory of my cousin Ivetta–a brilliant, beautiful career woman, mother of two, activist and singer. A woman who said no to a man–and lost her life because of it.

But she did not lose her voice. At all points throughout my career as an activist journalist and women’s sex activist, I speak, write and dance for her.

So tell us, Feminist Sexpert! How can we celebrate V-Day? Visit https://www.vday.org/. And to everyone, Happy V-Day!

Valentino: The Man, The Legend, the Fantasy

Wikimedia Commons

“I am merely the canvas on which women paint their dreams.”–Rudolph Valentino

May 6 marks the birthday of a cinema legend–and of the premiere male sex symbol. And 2021 marks the hundredth anniversary of the film that might be considered the first erotic film for women. Would you be shocked to know that there’s a connection between the two?

The world was blessed with Rudolph Valentino May 6, 1895. This Italian wunderkind made 39 films in 12 years, emerging as both a talented actor who spoke volumes with his eyes, movements and expressions, and as the living embodiment of female fantasy. Valentino was a man of many talents–acting, dancing, singing and boxing among them. Yet in this forum we shall focus on the Erotic Milestones of Valentino’s Career:

1. Valentino was the first sex symbol for women. The Saturday Evening Post, Vintage News, and many other news sources credit Valentino as the first male sex symbol. For while many handsome, appealing actors graced the silent screen prior to his arrival in Hollywood, he was the first to smolder on screen–his expressive dark-eyed stares, his sensual moves, his frenzied kisses and passionate embraces promising all of the heavenly sin that one mortal woman could possibly handle. His image provoked passionate responses in female audience members, tempting them to fantasize and enjoy their sexuality. Or, as film professor Miriam Hansen phrased it in a 1986 edition of Film Journal, Valentino’s popularity marked the birth of female spectatorship–the concept that female spectators or filmgoers were regarded as an economically and socially significant entity–and one of the few times in history that feminine desire was closely linked to their spectatorship (https://www.jstor.org/stable/1225080?seq=1). Translation: The ladies wanted that man. Bad.  

2. Valentino made the first erotic film for women. Whether playing Armand in Camille or Count Rodrigo in Cobra, Valentino imbued all of his heroes with romance, mystery and infinite charm. Yet it was in his role as the title character in 1921’s The Sheik that Valentino set fire to the screen, bringing a well-read romance novel to screen as he brought women to the theatre in droves. The Sheik contained no explicit scenes, but instead seethes with a hot undercurrent of brazen sensuality, balanced with passionate, life-binding romance. It was roles such as this one that lead Valentino to–in the words of Man’s World India (https://www.mansworldindia.com/culture/features/rudolph-valentino-sex-symbol-hollywood/)–“transform America’s idea of sex and the art of seduction.”

So The Sheik was the first sex movie for women. But was it a feminist statement? Well, yes and no. Yes, in the sense that–for the first time–women were encouraged and empowered to acknowledge their sensual needs, to explore their fantasies, and to claim at last their own form of erotic entertainment. And in the sense that the film’s heroine–Lady Diana Mayo, portrayed by the luminous Agnes Ayres–is strong and spirited in character. A big ol’ hell no, in that the character of the Sheik is at many times forceful and menacing. 

Just as we now rediscuss and reassess problematic classics like Gone With the Wind, so must we reconsider The Sheik. And this discussion should include the consideration of the fact that–at the time of the film’s 1921 release–women who as much as contemplated sex were threatened with societal ruination and literal hellfire. This explains the framing story of the film, the presentation of which would NOT be acceptable in a modern production.

Today, however, the lingering images captured from the film involve the gorgeous vision of Valentino in silken robes, delivering sweltering kisses and bonding embraces that literally provoked swooning in female audience members at the time of the film’s release. It’s also important to note that Valentino himself publicly detested the character of the Sheik, and just as openly spoke in admiration of his wife Natacha Rambova, a silver screen pioneer who served the silent screen industry as a producer, set designer, writer, costume designer and actress.   

3. Valentino in all likelihood performed the first male striptease. On film, at least. In the short film The Sheik’s Physique, we follow Rudy as he enjoys an afternoon at the beach–changing into his swimsuit in his car before lounging languid on the sands. True, by modern standards we don’t get to see much (he only partially unbuttons his shirt in the car before getting wise to us viewers and dropping a pesky shade that obscures our view of the proceedings–but not before giving us a glimpse of skin and his infamous come hither gleam), and his swimsuit is tight and form-fitting as opposed to revealing; still and all, it’s a classy tease.

4. Valentino was the only male silent film star to inspire erotica and porn. Rudolph Valentino mastered the art of the tease. He only occasionally appeared shirtless, and never performed nude. Yet the intensity of his sensual aura inspired several erotic works, such as the 1988 pornographic feature Rudolph Valentino: American Lover starring Hakan Serbes, and the erotic new wave picture Valentino, starring ballet great Rudolph Nureyev as Valentino. He perfects Valentino’s tango dancing technique and appears fully nude, wearing only the sheik’s headwear–and nothing else–in some scenes. Most Valentino fans have mixed feelings about these films, but I liked them. But then, I would. 

5. Valentino even took it upon himself to steal into the opening credits and start seducing his female audience, right off the bat. The opening titles of Blood and Sand, in which Valentino portrays a bullfighter, are projected over the image of a long cape being held by Valentino. You see only his eyes above the cape, as he lures the audience inward, unblinking, with one of those blasted come hither gleams. 

Oh, Rudy…thanks for the dreams.