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The Feminist Sexpert

The Feminist Sexpert Interviews Blush Erotica

Video, Voiceover & Erotica

Imagine a porn scene in which the heroine is honored and respected, loved and pleasured, as we see her sensual adventure in beautifully conveyed high definition images–and with a rich narration that describes her pleasuring. This is an erotic story come to life. This is Blush Erotica.

Blush Erotica merges video, voiceover, and erotica at the new website,

Blush Erotica has partnered with The Sinematographer to offer this new concept, which is conveyed in boy/girl, lesbian, threesomes, interracial, MILF, and more to come as the site develops. All stories are narrated from the female perspective, and are shot in an HD cinematic style. Moreover, the site features actresses of all body types and various ages.

The Feminist Sexpert is a proud writer for Blush Erotica, and would love to introduce more female porn fans to the Blush experience. Here are some fast facts about this fabulous studio.


Blush Erotica makes adult content that empowers all women and shows them in their best light.

Company overview:

Blush Erotica is a new concept in adult content that merges video, voiceover, and erotica. More specifically, this new concept in porn provides a narrated voiceover that adds an additional layer of erotica to hardcore porn. As the company’s catalog grows so does featuring male/female, female/female, and solo scenes, behind-the-scenes footage, photography, and personal interviews with stars.


We love all bodies and all ethnicities and don’t have a “type” when it comes to telling our story. We’ve been fortunate to work with many amazing people and look forward to working with many more. Established in 2019, Blush Erotica’s parent company is composed of passionate individuals who bring different talents to the table with a common goal: to make beautiful cinematic content.

Current Projects:

The team is in the middle of Exxxotica events. We love expo season because it gives us a chance to make new connections. We also produce a series of interviews with the stars. Blush Erotica is gearing up to release its first multi-scene series about four college friends who go away to a lake house together for a long weekend.

Blush Erotica has established channels on PornHub, ManyVids, and Clips4Sales in addition to its subscription site. The group is also releasing interviews with the talent on YouTube and plans to start a new TikTok channel featuring stars giving tips for dating.

Visit or check out its Twitter at @blush_erotica.

Beefcake Porn for Women: The Final Frontier for Feminist Porn

A few months ago, I was watching an old episode of The Phil Donahue Show that centered around the subject of adult entertainment. The show’s featured guests included the amazing screen goddesses Hyapatia Lee and Nina Hartley–both of whom spoke with grace and articulance about the emerging role of women as directors, writers and empowered actresses in XXX. One of the films discussed was Hartley’s comedy Debbie Does Dishes.

At one point in the show, a minor but audible commotion arose in the back of the studio as two female audience members rose to their feet.

“Why can’t it ever be Dave Does Dishes?” one woman asked. “Men are there in the movies, but they’re not highlighted.”

“Where are the men sex stars?” another demanded.

More than 30 years later, I as an erotica author, content creator and Feminist Sexpert have a definitive answer for these ladies.

“Your guess is as blasted good as mine.”

For while women have come so far in the adult industry, not only appearing in but writing and directing top quality couples features, I still believe that there remains a single unconquered territory in the vast world of femme porn: Beefcake porn for women.

If you visit the amazing website Hot Movies for Her, you will find many woman-positive movies. What you won’t find is a single DVD cover that features a pouty, barechested, smoky-eyed hunk ready to seduce his prospective female audience.

“But MEG!” You might be sighing at this point. “Women are different. They’re not as visual.”

Ah, but what do you find on the covers of romance novels geared toward women–including my own? That’s right!  A pouty, barechested, smoky-eyed hunk ready to seduce his prospective female audience.

In addition, male revues for women–including Chippendales, La Bare, Hollywood Men, Thunder Down Under, etc.–draw packed to capacity crowds. 

Yet in the realm of adult films, hardcore movies that feature male stars and male solo covers are overwhelmingly directed toward a gay male audience. And believe me, women notice.

As the onetime administrator of Fempower, a feminist porn blog, I proudly ran lists of winners for the Feminist Porn Awards each year. I also fielded responses from women asking why so many of the winners were lesbian titles, or straight films that still showcased the visual appeal of their female stars.

“If these films are made for women,” one reader wrote. “Why are we still looking at naked women?”

Of course these films deserve recognition; and, after all, it’s tough to honor films that pretty much don’t exist.

Or do they? Yes, Virginia, there is such a thing as beefcake porn for women–it’s just that the titles are few and far between.

If anything, the softcore sphere has done a much better job of serving up beefcake for female viewers. The early 1990s brought us softcore classics like Cabin Fever, an older woman/younger man romance directed by Deborah Shames and starring Judd Dunning and Belinda Farrell. And of particular note is The Love Scenes series, a sumptuous set of four films that featured Playgirl models, male exotic dancers and beefcake models in extended softcore love scenes (hence the title) with women. The scenarios are an exercise in the concept, “Turnabout Is Fore Play,” depicting female photographers with male models, male strippers performing for a female audience of one, actors “auditioning” for female directors, etc.

Even mainstream features like American Gigolo and Thief of Hearts offered stories and visuals that aimed to satisfy female viewers.

Back in the hardcore realm, 1995’s The Fuckingdales On Tour starred gorgeous Australian adult star Gerry Pike (himself an ex-stripper) and chronicled the erotic adventures of a male revue as they entertained female groupies, in more ways than one. In 1987, the top male porn stars of the era made up the cast of The Touchables, about a male bordello for women. In 1986, Club Exotica claimed a male exotic dance club as its setting.

In the early 2000s, the adult industry seemed to be headed in the right direction, thanks to Playgirl and Inpulse studios. (Full disclosure: I worked for Playgirl and wrote the back cover copy for their Erotic Encounters and Private Pleasures DVDs–go, me!) Both studios flipped the script in brilliant fashion, showcasing its male talent on its covers and releasing showcase titles featuring major porn studs (Jean Val Jean and Niko for Playgirl, Julian and Evan Stone for Inpulse). And Playgirl titles were directed exclusively by women, including my friend and mentor Kelly Holland.





Adam and Eve released a gem in 2000 with Hardbound, in which Hartley starred with the gorgeous Dale Dabone in an adult romantic comedy advertised in Playgirl with the use of Dabone’s picture. In 2003, Candida Royalle’s Stud Hunters centered around a female director’s search for the perfect porn stud.

An interesting case is presented in the form of 2002’s For Women Only, part one. Directed by Cameron Rose, this is a sexy and romantic vignette film that explores women’s fantasies. It’s an excellent erotic film in itself, but also calls attention to the issue at hand in the form of its DVD cover–which features a buncha naked women.

“Many of us female viewers have long wondered why the front covers rarely include photographs of men, or at the very least, photographs of partners which display the men as prominently as the women,” wrote reviewer YogaGrrl in her review for the film at Adult DVD Talk (1). Still she said the film pleased her inner goddess–and that goes ditto for me.

The fab Anna Span brought us Be My Boy Toy in 2010. In 2011, the amazing feminist adult filmmaker Petra Joy gave us The Female Voyeur, all about men performing to the satisfaction of women. In 2014, the awesome Ms. Naughty’s The Fantasy Project brought us a Clothed Female Naked Male cover and a rich, hot exploration of female fantasies. Erika Lust has made several contributions to this favored porn genre of mine.

And from the early to mid 2000s, director/actress Tina Tyler gave us a hand with The Handyman series, which featured hot male solo scenes for women. Then in 2015, Wicked released a hardcore parody of Magic Mike XXL, Magic Mike XXXL (see what they did there, Folks?). Lately, though, it seems to me that even films directed at women seem to boast females in lingerie on the DVD covers–and often in ropes or ties, which I have a lot to say about, as well. But that’s another blog.

For now, I say that the feminist porn oeuvre is not complete without some steamy hot servings of beefcake. What do you say, Ladies?

Also, a memo to the adult industry: Dave Does Dishes. Make it happen!




The Feminist Sexpert Says: Vote No on Throat

Photo found at Pexels, taken by Andrea Piacquadio

In the future, when a woman’s crying like that, she isn’t having any fun!–Louise Sawyer, a title character in the film Thelma and Louise–a film deservedly listed in the Library of Congress National Film Registry.  

So last year commenced the 50th anniversary celebration for the film Deep Throat, a pornographic film credited with launching the ‘porno chic’ movement–a celebration in which the Feminist Sexpert did not take part, because she thinks the flick reeks. She wrote a column detailing the reasons behind her stance here

Ah, but she’s not done yet.

Now comes the news that, to cap off the big ol’ Throaty Party, a campaign called #VoteThroat has been launched–a campaign that promotes the inclusion of the film Deep Throat in the Library of Congress National Film Registry.

In this column, I would like to address and refute the reasoning presented behind this campaign.

1. The Throaty Committee claims that, despite a stated goal to list a full spectrum of films from all genres, the Library of Congress has yet to include an X-rated film in its heralded registry. This is incorrect. Midnight Cowboy, Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song and Medium Cool all were rated X at the time of their release, as was Pink Flamingos–and all four are now featured in the registry. In fact, a number of sexually provocative movies are featured in this esteemed listing, including the aforementioned Cowboy, She’s Gotta Have It, Sex, Lies and Videotape, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Harold and Maude, Son of the Sheik, Jezebel, Mom and Dad, and many others.

This year alone, Dee Rees’ fantastic Pariah joins a handful of LGBTQA films to make the list.

It may be true that no pornographic film is featured in the registry–but why start with Deep Throat? The Feminist Sexpert, for example, would love to see Candida Royalle’s Femme, a movie that single handedly revolutionized the couples market and marked the inception of feminist porn as a marketable industry, on the list. Another likely candidate would be The Devil in Miss Jones, though I personally am not a fan. Andy Warhol’s Blue Movie was the first explicit sex film to be released nationwide in the United States. Boys in the Sand was the inaugural gay porno to receive a wide release. And Andrew Blake’s beautiful Night Trips was the first XXX film to win a top award at a mainstream international film festival.

2. They listed When Harry Met Sally. Why not Deep Throat? Sure. When I think of When Harry Met Sally, a wise, sweet, gentle romantic comedy, I also think of a porno movie about a woman who discovers that her clitoris is located in her throat.

But yes, the Throat Throng believes that, because of its featured and famous orgasm scene (I’ll have what she’s having and all that), new registry inductee When Harry Met Sally is comparable to Deep Throat. Here’s the problem: in her faked orgasm scene, Meg Ryan’s character of Sally was demonstrating just how easy it is for a woman to fake a climax; something far too many women do every day. In Deep Throat, by contrast, the audience is supposed to believe that the heroine gets her proverbial jollies solely from the performance of oral sex. In other words, just be a good girl and fall to your knees to please your man–only in this way will you find true happiness.

3. Deep Devotees insist that Deep Throat is woman positive, sex positive and fun to watch. This is the saddest, and most grossly inaccurate assertion put forth by the Throaters; that Deep Throat is a light-hearted, fun-loving film that makes a positive statement about women’s sexuality. 

The movie’s star, Linda Lovelace, aka Linda Boreman, insisted for years that she was coerced into the making of the film Deep Throat–not by the film’s cast and crew, but by a manager husband who abused her for years.

Boreman’s story drew much support from legendary feminist Gloria Steinem, and credence from witnesses and the affirming results of several lie detector tests. 

If you look beyond the blank eyes and childlike smile that she displays in the film, you see the bruises on her body. And as Roger Ebert stated in his brilliant review of Deep Throat, “It is all very well and good for Linda Lovelace, the star of the movie, to advocate sexual freedom; but the energy she brings to her role is less awesome than discouraging. If you have to work this hard at sexual freedom, maybe it isn’t worth the effort.” 

And as far as being a peachy couples flick, well the immortal Ebert has an answer for that.
“The word just sort of got around: This is the first stag film to see with a date,” he wrote. “There were a lot of couples in the audience Sunday afternoon. Most of them, I thought, left the theater looking a little grim.”

Two points I will concede: Deep Throat exceeds 10 years in age. And it does indeed boast a female lead character–like the vast majority of porn flicks. Congrats on that.

The Feminist Sexpert herself never has attended a public showing of the film Deep Throat. She has, however, visited the film research room of the Library of Congress. When I was researching my book Ladies in Silver, a chronicle of women who worked behind the scenes in the silent film industry, I basked in the beauty and tradition of this hallowed hall–a place that people go to celebrate the very best in film.

Deep Throat has no place at the Library in Congress. Linda Boreman does have a place in history, but it was one for which she constantly had to fight.

During her appearance on the TV show Woman2Woman in 1984, Linda Boreman asked an adult theatre owner point blank, “Do you realize that whenever you show the film Deep Throat in your theater, that you’re showing me being raped?”

The woman said nothing for a moment before mumbling, “No, I don’t realize that at all.”

Then she looked away.  

The Hot Feminist Sexpert is Confused by the Term “Hotwife”


So one would think that an individual who refers to herself as The Feminist Sexpert would know a little something about the thusly called Hotwife trend. Girl, was I wrong.

Years ago, at the dawn of my work as an adult industry writer, I thrilled at the opportunity to write the script for an adult film on the topic of cheating wives. Suddenly I envisioned myself penning the next Lady Chatterley’s Lover (except the lady’s hubby wouldn’t be paralyzed–Harsh… or Unfaithful… and the lady’s husband wouldn’t bash in the other man’s head with a snowglobe–Harsher); an erotic variation on the ‘tragic romantic’ story of a wayward wife sorely tempted by a hot young lover; an adult cinematic opus sure to make the ladies laugh, cry and get mucha horny by picture’s end. 

I was the sore one a week later, when my completed script was rejected. 

“This movie ain’t for women!” The director told me. “It’s for men who want to see their old ladies with other guys.” 

For once in her earthly lifetime, the Feminist Sexpert was speechless.

Once I regained my power of speech, I said, “Wha-? Why would men want to watch their wives cheating? Would a sample line of dialogue be, ‘Breaking her marriage vows with some hot stud and making me look like a fool–that’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout’! Whoa, babe?” 

At that point I had a wee bit of a meltdown–or, as I reference it, a Megdown. 

“Everything has to be for men, amiright?” I asked. “Even if the heroine is having an affair, she has to do it in a way her husband approves? OK, I need a wine and a cold compress at this point.”

I lost the gig and that’s OK, because I write for women only. Still and all, I have come to realize that Hotwifing isn’t ALL about the men–and that, in all actuality, I kinda knew about it before I knew about it.

Many of the male escorts and companions that I know often are hired by husbands to please their wives–frequently as they watch. At the time, I attributed it to the simple mission of a husband who wants to keep his wife happy–especially if he might be older, and perhaps no longer able to fulfill her desires (Translation: He don’t kick it like he used ta). 

Now I ponder the possibility that the husbands get just as much out of it as the wives–and that, for many couples, hotwifing is an adventure that can be empowering for her and satisfying for all three parties involved.

And then, there’s the porn. I mean, in many facets of my life and work, it all comes back to the porn.

Hot Movies for Her.Com does indeed feature a rich sampling of Hotwife porn geared toward women and couples. And while I shake my head at titles showcasing Bound Hotwives and Trained Hotwives, I nod my head at others that feature certain actors as the other men. (Wait, is that Tyler Nixon on the cover? Dante Colle in the main scene? That puppy’s going right on my To Be Rented list).

So, I guess it goes to show: Even the Feminist Sexpert has a few things to learn; but the question I have for you Ladies: If someone made a Hot Wife movie just for you, how would it look? 


Featured image by freepik –

The Whisper Model for Feminist Porn

Photo found at Pexels, taken by CottonBro

The Feminist Sexpert Introduces the Whisper Model for Feminist Porn

Sigmund Freud once posed the question, “What do women want?” Well, we ladies have no earthly intentions of divulging that knowledge to Freud, as he was pretty much a sexist numnutz. And he’s dead now anyway. Through the years, though, a number of other peeps have posed the same question–particularly when it comes to feminine tastes in pornography.

Since the early 1980s, a number of excellent adult companies have created content custom made for women–releasing titles that are romantic, textured in terms of plot and story, nonviolent, and nonexploitative in nature, and that feature attractive male performers who are skilled at pleasing women. Yet, or so many content creators tell me, they experience some acute difficulty in reaching their target audience.

That may be because, or so many women tell me, they just don’t feel that comfortable shopping for porn. A single visit to a porn site can expose them to a barrage of male-directed movies whose covers and titles alone might give them nightmares–or, at the very least, make them really, really ticked. (THIS is what my husband is watching? That does it. I am so starching his boxers to the point of abject mummification). 

When a woman does see a title that appears promising–well, then she’s darned lucky, because many DVD/download cover images feature solo shots of hot women in various stages of undress–with little to no indication as to the strength and intellect of the character she portrays, the attractiveness of her male co-star, or the quality of the film’s storyline.

Back when the Feminist Sexpert was the Possemeister for the Playgirl Posse Fan Club, she and her ladies thought it would be super cool if a rating was established to alert female viewers about the suitability of adult films to align to their tastes (translation: This flick will really knock yer platforms off, Girl–and how!).

I originally suggested a handy abbreviation to assign to this rating–perhaps WS (Woman Safe)–but an abbreviation is hardly romantic. And just because a title fails to contain rough or rapey elements, the film might not depict a XXX love story, demonstrating in the process those tried and true techniques for pleasing and satisfying women–like if the movie contains even a single sequence of a lady hanging from the ceiling upside down so she can more easily and conveniently administer oral sex to a circle of rough, less than visually appealing men, then–sorry, Charlie!–that film will not merit my squeal of approval–or, for that matter, a much coveted WS designation!

Now I believe that our proposed feminist porn rating is so darned cool, that it deserves a whole name, all its very own! And so, in a pinch, I’ve come up with a potential label for our newly created seal of approval for feminist porn titles (drum roll please).

The Whisper Model.

The Whisper Model rating would come complete with a way cool logo that could be displayed easily on DVD boxes, movie marketing materials, and in the text of film reviews. When a woman sees this logo (perhaps a graphic of the Feminist Sexpert gracing the camera with a hearty wink and thumbs up sign combination–nah, just joking–surely we could come up with something better than that), she could be well assured that the movie bearing it will both respect her sensibilities and rock her world in equal measure. And really, for what more in life could we possibly ask? 

Building Bridges, Not Walls: Bridging the Gap Between Pro- and Anti-Porn Feminists

Image from Pexels

Imagine being a strong, intelligent woman who has something to say–and show–about sex. You’re an actress, a content creator, a writer, a producer, or all of the above, who produces beautiful and highly erotic films and books for a female/couples audience. Your only wish is to help other women embrace and enjoy their sexuality–to show them a good time, to turn them on, to educate them. You want to help women achieve sexual equality with men, and to enhance their sexual health and well being as well.

Only to be told that you’re a victim, a tool of the patriarchy, a brainwashed slave, and a traitor to other women.

Now imagine being a strong, intelligent woman who counsels and supports other women. Maybe one of your clients tells you that her abuser or attacker used porn as a blueprint for their assault–or perhaps told them that he knows she likes rough treatment, because of the success of abuse porn and erotica. Or perhaps you’re a wife whose husband pressures you to look and perform like his favorite adult star, or a mother who walks in and sees her children perusing images of women being struck, gagged, insulted, made to weep, etc., etc. You speak up about it.

Only to be told that you’re a censorship maven who hates sex.

Both of these women need and deserve to be heard.

As The Feminist Sexpert, I have the honor of reviewing and promoting the very best of porn. I’ve interviewed so many brilliant woman directors and content creators that deliver beautiful, sex-positive, ethically produced productions for women. I’ve interviewed actresses who produce their own content, and who insist on respect and ethical treatment, both for themselves and other women on set. I’ve interviewed actors who are walking dreams; handsome, articulate, talented gentlemen who consider it their primary job and passion in life to please women of all ages and body types.

As a feminist activist, I’ve talked to human rights rescue workers who have dealt with human trafficking victims forced into porn–because when people are raped and abused, sometimes that abuse is recorded and sold. I’ve seen video testimonials of women assaulted on set, whose director or actor perpetrators are still at large and working in the industry. I’ve talked to rape crisis counselors who confided to me that several clients had come to them with a story about their assaults–a story that centered around another story.

“I told him I didn’t want him to get rough with me during sex. But he told me that he supposed I had rape fantasies, like all women did, and that I’d probably enjoyed 50 Shades of Grey,” the survivors revealed. “He told me that he knew I wanted it. Then he ignored me when I said no.”

“He raped me.”

Can we ever build a bridge between pro- and anti-porn feminists? I believe we can; but in order to do so, both sides must listen.

Anti-Porn Feminists: Don’t believe the stereotype that most women in porn are forced or victimized. Talk to women in the industry and watch their work. And defend their right to do the work that they choose, without fear of censorship or slutshaming.

Pro-Porn Feminists: Get educated about the horrifying realities of human trafficking, child porn, and on set abuse. Learn to spot the signs of abuse going on around you, and do something about it. And if women have issues with the industry, listen and heed their words. Make sure that all of your content is ethical and nonviolent. Yes, we all have our fetishes, but actual physical or psychological harm is never OK.

In the adult industry, I am here to create and promote. But I’m also here to protect. And really, everyone should be. There is indeed strength in numbers, but only if we all pull together. So you see more feminist creators, more special lines and titles for women and couples. As one actress told me, “The change is on the horizon.” As The Weeknd sang in a song about giving a woman an orgasm, “I feel it coming.” As I say, “The revolution is live.”

Look Alive, Guys! Time to Seduce Your Lady

A few years ago, while appearing as a guest on a feminist radio show, I bristled a bit when another guest opined, “It’s OK for a wife or girlfriend to play sexy for her man, being his whore, as long as he still respects and appreciates her.”

“I agree with the substance of what you’re saying,” I said, being more judicious than I am–like, ever. “My question is, Why is it the women who are always expected to dress and act sexy for her man–and never the reverse?”

The hostess of the show immediately concurred, “It seems the women are always supposed to put on the show. All the men have to do is buy tickets and take a seat.”

….And it’s been this way since time immemorial. Back in the ’50s, magazine articles taught shy wives how to undress for their husbands. In the ’60s, the hit song “Wives and Lovers” warned wives that they’d better have that blasted makeup on and curlers off when their man walked through that door, or she would drive him over the edge of fidelity and force him to cheat with a ‘girl at the office.’ Those pesky girls at the office. Drat them.

Common advice dished out to women seeking to please their man often includes, “Act like his hooker, his secretary, his schoolgirl.” Could you ever imagine telling a man, “Act Like her gigolo, her hot assistant, her schoolboy?”

Now, I’m not suggesting that a woman shouldn’t dress up and vamp to please her man–but my point (and I do have one–two, in fact) is that she shouldn’t feel coerced into doing something she’s uncomfortable with for fear that her man will cheat.

For example: a woman who might have been sexually abused as a child might feel very uncomfortable dressing as a schoolgirl, and might prefer instead to play a dominatrix in a hot pleather bustier–calling him Darling instead of Daddy. A woman with body image issues might feel more comfortable in a long, figure-flattering white silk nightgown than a skimpy negligee.

And at the same time, a man can do lots of things to repay the favor: teasing and seducing his hardworking wife, so she doesn’t dally with those boys at the office.

Now I do realize that certain men’s magazines offer features on how guys can spice things up in the bedroom. Yet I’ve read these features and the suggestions they offer range from the creepy (“Tell her that you’re a skin magazine photographer and you want to shoot her photos”–um, do they not realize that this is how several infamous serial killers lured victims to their deaths?) to the sad (Buy her some new sexy underwear? That’s fulfilling his fantasy, not hers) to the all too obvious (Do the dishes one night after dinner. That’s not fantasy fulfillment, it’s an everyday responsibility).

It’s time that a woman taught men how to seduce their ladies. So pay ample heed, Boys, as the Feminist Sexpert is only going to say this once:

 1. Roleplaying.

The sexy leading man Hugh Jackman has said that his kickass wife Deborra Lee Furness often asks him to bring costumes home from his movie sets, so she can feel as though as she’s having affairs with the heroes he portrays. And while filming Magic Mike, Channing Tatum said he put on private shows for then wife Jenna Dewan. And while every man might not be a professional actor with a full wardrobe filled with sexy costumes at his disposal, what he can do is pay the occasional trip to a men’s wear store to buy some G-strings or sexy thongs, or to a costume store–renting the pirate’s costume, the kilt, the policeman’s uniform, or the Marine whites that will really drive her wild.

Or just get a nice haircut, throw on a new suit, and appear at the house in the role of a seductive stranger–someone who’s been admiring her from afar, and who is there to entice her away from her husband. Or simply throw on a thong or some sexy shorts, and play the role of the seductive poolboy. Even if you don’t happen to have a pool. Believe me, she won’t care.

2. Fantasy fulfillment.

Some women may say that they don’t have sexual fantasies, or they’re too bashful to say them aloud. Yet the curious husband can sneak a peek at her favorite romance novels, soap operas, or romantic films to get an idea of her innermost intimate thoughts. Or you might even buy her an empowering erotic book and offer to act out its scenes. I’ve heard those are widely available.

3. Couples porn.

Yeah, I know. If you have to listen to that bloody sax music or to some sculpted couple talking at length about their predestined love for one another… but if you feel that way about couples porn, imagine how she feels about watching the 58th edition of Banging the Baby-sitter or Kiki Does Kansas.

You can still watch these flicks, alone or with your buddies. When you’re with her, try a title by Bright Desire, Strawberry Seductress, Lust Films, Sweet Sinner, Anna Span, Playgirl, Adam and Eve, or Femme. As far as couples porn, some of my favorites include the sprawling historical romance Immortal Desire, Hardbound (directed and written by the husband and wife team of Bob and Deborah Chinn) and Candida Royalle’s My Surrender. I’ve also heard that Marriage 2.0 is a towering achievement in adult cinema, even–haven’t seen that one yet, but the presence of Ryan friggin’ Driller in the cast guarantees that I will someday.


4. Massage.

Who doesn’t love an invigorating massage, performed with some essential oils? Don’t forget the candles, the low lights, and the dirty talk!

5. Indulging her crushes.

No matter how much you love your wife, no doubt you entertain fantasies about a certain supermodel, porn star or centerfold. So if she seems infatuated with a soap star, rock star or film or TV actor, don’t scoff at the TV screen and say, “I bet he’s GAY!” Instead buy her a CD or DVD that features his work or a magazine that features his likeness–or park her in front of the TV and slip out of the room when his show is on, letting her enjoy her fantasy date. Why should you do this? Because he makes her horny. And, at the end of the evening, it’s you that benefits. 

6. Striptease.

You don’t have to have the moves of Channing Tatum to pull off a most effective striptease. A hot costume and a basic body roll will get you far in life–and with your wife. And, again, I’ve heard there are books on the subject.

In dishing out this advice, I offer the same qualifier that I would to the ladies. Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Yet in the event that you do elect to do this stuff, you get more sex–and, in the long run, a very happy lady. You’re welcome.


Featured image by- Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay

Belle Soleil: The Feminist Sexpert Remembers Deborah Sundahl

As an author, filmmaker, magazine publisher and lecturer, Deborah Sundahl shone as a bright glowing light and a feminist pioneer in the erotic industry. 

Along with the fabulous Nan Kinney, who I had the honor of interviewing in 2021 when their films were showcased by my friends at as a part of their superb Classic Dyke Porn showcase, Sundahl directed some original, one of a kind–not to mention totally hawt–erotic films made by and for lesbians. Released under the fantastic Fatale Media label, these sensual classics included the signature Suburban Dykes starring Nina Hartley and Sharon Mitchell, Safe is Desire (a vitally important adult sex education film that addresses the subject of safe sex), Hungry Hearts, a gorgeous girl/girl romance, and Burlezk One and Two (which chronicled the real life stage performances of the first lesbian strip troupe).

Sundahl and Kinney also were the co-founders of On Our Backs, the first porn magazine produced by and for lesbians. A sexual wonderland for the modern lesbian, OOB featured centerfolds, erotic fiction, articles, and ads for the XXX videos, audios, phone sex services, and strip shows geared toward women only.

As an author and lecturer, Sundahl wrote extensively on the subject of Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot–and also produced videos showing both women and men how to make their ladies feel real, real good.

Deborah Sundahl passed away June 13. Yet the mark that she and Kinney left on the world of women’s and lesbian pornography and sexual agency is eternal and indelible. Beyond joining the likes of Candida Royalle as shameless trailblazers who engaged on a quest to offer quality adult entertainment for women, they gave many bi and gay women the courage and permission to express and enact their identities and desires–proud and unashamed.

Thank you, dear Deborah. Rest in Power.

A GoFundMe has been established, to assist Deborah Sundahl’s family with hospice and funeral costs. Support the effort here.

Powerful Penny: The Feminist Sexpert Interviews Penny Barber

Image from Penny Barber

Her handle may be Pampered Penny. Yet after talking with Entrepreneur Penny Barber (AKA Penelope Barber), producer/director, performer, storyteller/filmmaker, and author, the Feminist Sexpert would like to bequeath a new title on this formidable Elizabeth Taylor lookalike: Powerful Penny.

Known for playing the busty, glasses-wearing Taboo MILF who likes to sling verbal humiliation and Kinky Mommy Dom in equal measure, Penny has made her own special mark on the adult industry for more than a decade. Indeed, this proud feminist has made countless clips, authored two books on age play, and shot with various independent clip producers. She has worked with AllHerLuv/Missa X, Sweet Femdom, Team Skeet,, PervMom,, and Gwen Media. As a content creator, she enters film festivals and creates professional cinematic pieces. And her award shelf is overflowing, lined with honors from the Best MILF Clip Artist from the 2021 XBIZ Cam Awards (an award that came complete with a prominent feature in the current XBIZ World Mag), to noms for Most Popular Fetish Star from the Urban X Awards, Best Clip Performer of the Year from the Fleshbot Awards, Favorite Domme from the AVN Awards, and Girl-Girl Scene of the Year from the Inked Awards.

“I always strive to do good work and connect with audiences,” she said. “It brings me a sense of accomplishment to be acknowledged.”

Penny also sees her honors as validation of the empowered glamour that a ‘MILF’ can bring to the adult industry.

“These days, older women are more fetishized,” she said. “There was once this bizarre belief that a woman had to be in her 20s to be appealing. That’s not true–a woman of 40, of 50, can be just as sexy.”

And as they supply rich erotic fantasies to audiences everywhere, Penny insists that she and other performers be treated with respect on set; gladly offering assistance to performers who feel disrespected on set.

“I always believe that, if you don’t like something, say something,” she said. “I’ve always been the girl on set that other girls could come and talk to if they had a problem.”

The same goes for fans.

“I love connecting with my fans,” she said. “And while I understand that people get explicit in requesting what they want to see when they order custom photos and videos from me, they need to know how to act when talking to me.”

The Feminist Sexpert, who herself has been on the receiving end of disrespectful communications as a writer and marketer in adult, cannot second this sentiment more. I care about the way that the public treats my sisterfriends and me; and to me, every woman who creates, promotes, writes and/or appears in content is a sisterfriend.

As for sisterfriend Penny, she says that there’s not a moment to spare in her life, as she writes, produces, directs and performs her way to fame.

“There’s so much I want to do,” she says.

Stay in the know about everything in her world by following her Twitter at @pamperedpenny and Instagram @PennyBarberMILF. Support her art by subscribing to her official site, buying her clips at Clips4Sale and and ManyVids, as well as subscribing to her OnlyFans at “Like” her Pornhub videos Check out her mainstream and Indie projects at

Ebony Idol: The Feminist Sexpert Interviews Brick Cummings

Whether on the football field or the set of an adult film, gorgeous new porn actor Brick Cummings is always devoted to delivering optimum performance. And while The Feminist Sexpert has yet to see Brick play football, she has seen his adult work and–Ladies–the gentleman ain’t lyin’!

Brick, in fact, had a dream of becoming a NFL player and played his favorite sport in college. Yet he had another dream, one that ultimately set the course of his life and career.

“I’m a good fucker,” he proclaimed, and very truthfully. “Not to brag, but I have a high sex drive and like to please in the bedroom.” (The Feminist Sexpert repeats: He ain’t bragging).

Eager to put his skills to work, this Florida native accepted the offer of a talent scout to commence his career as a porn performer; performing for sites like Desperate Amateurs and the popular (especially with The Feminist Sexpert) See Him Fuck–that scene performed with Latina beauty Camila Cortez.

“She was so energetic and professional,” he said. “I loved working with her.”

Brick impresses as a true gentleman who respects female talent; a trait that carries over to his on screen performances.

“I always want to make the lady I’m with feel comfortable,” he said. “I’m there to be helpful.”

Ensuring his partner’s comfort and pleasure is always part of Brick’s game plan, which also involves working out, eating right, and approaching every scene with a fresh, positive mindset; one that also emphasizes presenting positive portrayals of people of color.

“I’m very methodical when it comes to my performances,” he said.

And the method is working, given the fact that–mere weeks into his career–Brick is already booking scene after scene, and looks forward to a bright future as an adult actor and content creator. Look for him soon on The FlourishXXX, where he recently completed a scorching scene with Gianna Dior also featuring Isiah Maxwell, and subscribe to his Only Fans at

“This is the best job I’ve ever had,” he said. “I’m having a blast!”

And in enjoying porn and adult entertainment, Brick invites us ladies to share this experience of sublime sensual adventure.

“If you want it, go for it, without reservation,” he said. “You only live once.”

More Cummings soon!