How To Take A Dick Pic

Everyone is doing it, so you mind as well learn how to take a good shot. But, before we get started, the first rule of thumb is to only send one to someone who asked for it. Most women don’t appreciate an unsolicited photo of your cock.

While it used to be considered a crass, immature thing that only Tinder users do as a 20-something booty-call tactic, the truth is that there are a rising number of committed couples that have realized the power of sexting with their mate. And, while sexting doesn’t have to include naked photos, it’s a nice way to get your partner in the mood…if you do it right!

A prime example of an epic fail on this front comes from one of my friends who has been married for over 10 years. She and her husband started sexting each other to spice things up. It’s actually good foreplay, especially if you sext during the day to get him excited to come home and, well, come with you.

Unfortunately, my friend’s husband made a few critical mistakes. His first mistake taking the photo in the bathroom with the toilet seat up and not flushed. When he tried again, some of their kids’ toys were in the background. Toilets and children didn’t exactly get her hot and heavy.

Taking a good dick pic is such a “thing” now that there’s even a New York photographer who is making a business out of it. Soraya Doolbaz, who calls herself “a professional dick photographer,” takes the traditional dick pic up a notch by creating little costumes from doll outfits and personalities for her male models. Her “Dicture Gallery” features guys’ penises dressed up as everything from Napoleon Boner Parte to Dongye West to Adolf Clit Tickler. She even exhibited her photographs at the world-famous Art Basil in Miami last year.

If you don’t want to go that far, just follow these simple tips for your own dick selfies…

Trim the Trunk

Proper grooming is always the first best step to anything sex or genital related. Make sure you’re trimmed up nicely… unless full bush is truly your thing. But, if it is, please remember that most women don’t dig the ’70s bush.

Edit the Scene

Just like setting the scene for Skype sex, it’s important to be aware of your background. It’s more about what you don’t want to show – the toilet, dirty towels, toothbrushes, kid or pet toys, and clutter, etc. If you take the shot in a mirror, look what’s in the reflection and edit out anything that is not sexy.

Consider Your Privacy

If you are afraid of getting hacked or confused about how can get into your Cloud, it’s perfectly fine to send a photo that doesn’t show your face. In fact, some women find it sexier…even if you have a handsome mug. “My boyfriend sent me a dick pic once with his full body and face in it and the look on his face just cracked me up. He was trying too hard to look sexy for the camera, that it kind of backfired. Just a pic of his junk would’ve been hot enough,” says Rachel, 35.

Use a Filter

A well-lit penis can make the difference between a reaction of     “ewww” and “ooohhh!” If you can’t figure out the best lighting for your Johnson,    then make good use of filters on your phone. A great filter can help diminish the look of veins, uneven skin color, and even slight blemishes. Black and white is a cool way to go as well.

“A guy I had been talking to sent me a dick pic. The part of his penis that is always exposed was one color – slightly grayish. But, the extended part when he got hard was a nice pink color. I was grossed out by the two-tone,” says Sara, 27.

Position the Pole

The right angle can make your penis look larger. You need to take a lot of test shots from different angles to find your key position. Do a solo photo shoot to figure this out and then have the images saved for when the time comes that a penis pic is requested. If you want to show off your length and girth, put a water bottle in the shot.

Lying down in bed is the sexiest because then every time he says he’s going to bed, I’ll have that image in my head. And, it makes me think that he’s lying there about to jerk off to me, which is super flattering. It’s a great visual. I can’t get my guy’s pic out of mind and I look at it often. The head sticking out of her cool boxers is another way to go.

All right guys, your penis is now ready for its close-up!

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With her provocative writing style and penchant for in-depth research, Carrie Borzillo has earned renown and respect over her 20 years as a music and entertainment journalist. Her talents and passion for pop culture have also resulted in three critically-acclaimed books: Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day by Day Chronicle (Carlton Books, 2000; re-issued to commemorate the 20th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's passing in 2014 as Nirvana: In the Words of the People Who Were There; Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star (Simon Spotlight Entertainment, 2008), and Tera Patrick's Sinner Takes All: A Memoir of Love and Porn (Gotham/Penguin, 2010). A bona fide rock chick from birth, Carrie started her music journalism career at age 17. She covered the local music scene in her home state of Connecticut before graduating to publications such as Billboard, Spin and RollingStone.com. She has also covered celebrities, television, and music for People, E! Online, Us Weekly, and Teen People, and has penned cover stories for Billboard, TeenPeople, CosmoGirl! and Hit Parader. She has also written about sex advice columns for Gene Simmons’ Tongue magazine, SuicideGirls, and THC Expose magazine, and has appeared as a sexpert on national shows such as “Loveline” with Dr. Drew, Playboy Radio, and others. She currently writes about sex and relationships for Men's Health, Sphere, and others.

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