Want Better Sex? Just Breathe.

Two of the biggest sexual issues sex therapists hear about is premature ejaculation for men and trouble reaching orgasm for women. It seems that while women are trying to having an orgasm men are trying not to.

The good news is that for every sexual “problem” there is a solution. To the rescue: breathing techniques. By controlling your breathing you can control your orgasms. Controlled breathing will also make your orgasms more intense.

Try a few of these techniques for general stress reduction and more relaxed orgasms.

1. Breathe through your nose. Most people breathe through their mouths which causes shallow breathing. Take a deep breath and hold it for a few seconds then exhale slowly. By deliberately doing this, your breathing slows down and you will feel more relaxed. Do this five times. As you do it each time, try holding your breath longer and exhaling slower. Try doing this every day. Even if you’re not focusing on your orgasms, you’re learning how to relax for when you do want to control your orgasms. You can even do this at your desk or at work. Nobody has to know you are practicing your orgasmic breathing techniques!

2. Coordinate your breathing with your lover. Try taking deep breaths with your honey as you lie next to them as you spoon. Even if it seems ridiculous, at least you are laughing together. Breathing together will make you feel closer.

3. Vary your breath. Close your eyes and slowly inhale, taking deep breaths every 30 seconds. For men who want to delay the ‘ol premature ejaculation, keep your eyes closed, breath deeply and slowly, and exhale through your nose. You want to consciously control your ejaculation. This slows down the build-up of sexual tension and is a Tantric sex technique. Doing this will build up a “better” orgasm for later.

4. For men, once you’re actually thrusting, exhale deeply as you thrust inside. Inhale deeply as you pull out. Try to synchronize your breathing with your partner’s. Sort of like synchronized swimming except that you are matching your inhales and exhales. Your/his boner will stay erect longer as he “pushes back” his orgasm.

5. For women, as you feel like you may be approaching an orgasm, close your eyes and breathe deeply. It’s the same technique that yoga instructors use when they tell you to inhale and then “breathe into” your pelvis, which sends the breath down into your sweet spot as you exhale. Breathe “into” an orgasm, by focusing on your breathing rather than on your orgasm.


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Anka Radakovich is a legendary Sex Columnist, Certified Sexologist, Sex Educator, Screenwriter, and Author of the book THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, PART 2, Tales from New York to Hollywood. THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, Part 2 is her third book. Her first two books, The Wild Girls Club; Tales from below the Belt, and Sexplorations; Journeys to the Erogenous Frontier were both published by Crown/Random House. She was the Sex Columnist for DETAILS Magazine for 9 years and currently writes columns for Brides.com and Los Angeles Magazine. Her writing has appeared in dozens of magazines including Marie Claire, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Harper’s Bazaar, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Men's Journal, Seventeen, Glamour, and Maxim. She has appeared on numerous television shows including 8 appearances with Conan O’Brien. She was a Jeopardy question under the category “Men’s Mags.” As a Sex Educator and Sexologist, she is a college lecturer at Universities throughout the country who offers her unique brand of sex education. Follow her on Twitter @ankarad.


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