Designer Penis Jewelry Anyone?

For those who love jewelry as much as they do penis, designer brand Yves St. Laurent has created a matching set of penis earrings and a penis necklace. Priced at $345, the “penis dangle earring” in “patinatated golden brass”, is completely sold out online, but is available at YSL’s 29 stores across the county. For pierced ears only, the earrings are marketed to women.

Although we love penises, especially matching ones, the black stuff around the head of the mini peens looks kinda funky. Despite this, these things are flying off the shelves. Each penis is engraved with “Saint Laurent Paris” on each side so everyone knows its the real thing.


The “penis pendant”, also in “golden brass”, sells for $795.00 and sold out immediately online. The chain is adjustable so you can move the little weiner up and down on your neck, as your friends  point and laugh at it.

Legendary fashion designer Yves St. Laurent was at his height in the 1960’s and 70’s, and according the The Telegraph, was “the King of radical chic.”

According to his obituary in The New York Times, “During a career that ran from 1957 to 2002, he was largely responsible for changing the way modern women dress, putting them into pants both day and night, into peacoats and safari jackets, into “le smoking” (as the French call a man’s tuxedo jacket), and into leopard prints, trench coats and, for a time in the 1970’s, peasant-inspired clothing in rich fabrics.”

“Mr. Saint Laurent often sought inspiration on the streets, bringing the Parisian beatnik style to couture runways and adapting the sailors’ peacoats he found in Army-Navy stores in New York into jackets that found their way into fashionable women’s wardrobes around the world.”

For anyone who wants the designer “knock off” version of St. Laurent’s penis jewelry, Etsy has tons of jokey penis earrings, necklaces, and dangling jewelry for a guy to wear directly on his family jewels. There is one called a “Dick Thang”, to “adorn his penis” for only $14.99.

Someone else is selling a shiny penis brass keychain ” for only $9.90 and another penis lover offers a fancy mini “penis ring” for $11.72. Many of the descriptions of the jewelry say stuff like “Perfect for church on Sunday or brunch with Grandma.” And from the number of reviews on some of these phallic items–reviews in the hundreds and thousands, X-rated penis jewelry is apparently “in.” Who knew?

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Anka Radakovich is a legendary Sex Columnist, Certified Sexologist, Sex Educator, Screenwriter, and Author of the book THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, PART 2, Tales from New York to Hollywood. THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, Part 2 is her third book. Her first two books, The Wild Girls Club; Tales from below the Belt, and Sexplorations; Journeys to the Erogenous Frontier were both published by Crown/Random House. She was the Sex Columnist for DETAILS Magazine for 9 years and currently writes columns for and Los Angeles Magazine. Her writing has appeared in dozens of magazines including Marie Claire, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Harper’s Bazaar, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Men's Journal, Seventeen, Glamour, and Maxim. She has appeared on numerous television shows including 8 appearances with Conan O’Brien. She was a Jeopardy question under the category “Men’s Mags.” As a Sex Educator and Sexologist, she is a college lecturer at Universities throughout the country who offers her unique brand of sex education. Follow her on Twitter @ankarad.


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