What is Intimacy?
Look at the word phonetically in-to-me-see.
Intimacy is NOT about wild rapid passion – it’s more like an insatiable slow burning
passion. Intimacy is about expressing your true feelings, not just what you think is
sexy to your partner. Touching each other on non-sexual areas is intimate. Intimacy
is about not being critical of your partner. Intimacy is not about conquest, it is about
being present and it is about giving pleasure not just receiving it. Intimacy is about
enjoying the journey as much as the destination.
Men need to respect a woman’s body in order to become intimate with her. A
woman’s body is a “temple” and we all came from that temple. Ask any man how he
would like other men to treat a woman close to him such as his mother, sister or
daughter. The answer will be “with respect.”
For a woman intimacy is better than sex because she can surrender herself to her
man and feel ultimate pleasure and satisfaction without guilt and shame. It is the
supreme expression of femininity and it allows her to feel safe so that she can open
up and blossom sexually. For a man intimacy is better than sex because it can
prolong and heighten the sexual energy he gets from his regular seven-second
orgasm.
For most men the definition of sex is usually a blowjob followed by sexual
intercourse that will hopefully result in the big O. But male sexual empowerment
comes from training each part of his body to feel sexual energy.
Intimacy is not just sex, but incorporates trust, comfort, safety, surrender, respect
and opens communication. The sexiest thing for a woman is when her man is fully
focused and present with her when he is making love to her. Both partners must
have a clear intention of fullness in the moment rather than being goal oriented.
Most people don’t touch each other without some kind of agenda. Women complain
to me that even when their man hugs them, he cops a feel of her breasts or butt. It’s
a natural evolution that we should find a deeper level of enjoyment and by moving
from sex to intimacy we can accomplish that. You don’t have to give up your regular sexual practices, you can add to your sexual repertoire by practicing the art of
intimacy.
To experience emotional intimacy you must first surrender to yourself so that you
feel complete, then surrender to each other to compliment each other’s souls. Men
have been taught to repress their feelings and not show any vulnerability. But you
cannot experience intimacy without letting down your defenses and opening up your
heart.
Intimacy is the plateau of sex that every couple strives for but must go through all
the other steps before they can achieve it successfully. The left and right brain are in
harmony sexually for both sexes. At this point you are both on another plane of
sexuality physically, emotionally and spiritually. Yin and Yang is one and you are
capable of feeling the opposite qualities of your partner.
We ultimately strive for our emotional doorway to open through all of our senses
where both are present and available emotionally to one another. You are honoring
yourself, surrendering and connecting with your soul mate. There is a psychic
intuitive connection.
Here are three steps to move from dating to intimacy.
Step 1: Share your feelings about each other with each other to create an emotional
bond.
Step 2: Focus on your partner’s needs, wants and desires and put them before your
own.
Step 3: Make a commitment to each other, whether it’s being monogamous, having
a relationship agreement or getting married this commitment is the ultimate act of
intimacy.
