Do we all need sex therapy?

Photo by Nihal Demirci on Unsplash

While researching Dr. Lee Phillips, I had to challenge myself and ask if I know myself as well as I think I do. What became abundantly clear, regardless of my own thoughts was that it is so extremely important for the existence of the services that Dr. Lee provides and when interviewing him, my mind was opened to so many things.

Can one let go of one’s pride to see they are in need and take the step to receive the help? I believe that there are so many people who want to discuss certain things sexually, but due to the sensitive nature placed on us by society, many disregard the need to talk about them.

Thankfully, due to the confidential environment such as what therapists like Dr. Lee provide, we can make the world more open-minded to sexual trials and tribulations though baby steps. Therapy takes time and there is never such a thing as a miracle solution.

The question that I ask myself and I would assume others do the same, is, “Is the key to sexual health to open yourself and or your relationship up for scrutiny or input from a third party?” For many herein lies the challenge. Are you ready to be 100% open and honest and embrace the feedback from your therapist? Perhaps, that is exactly what is needed, to be a bit vulnerable and not feel the need to live up to the “demands” we and society put on ourselves.

So many of us desire to surround ourselves with people who accept us unconditionally. A yearning for a nonjudgmental and sex-positive environment where you can openly express yourself, your dreams, limits and or concerns. The fact that Dr. Phillips is open to patients of any gender, non-monogamous, swingers, polyamorous or kink relationships shows us that these types of therapists can provide a higher level of help to clients compared to the less open-minded therapists out there.

I find it rather refreshing when I continue to interview many therapists for my podcast, that if you need therapy which might be related to a certain fetish, kink or alternative lifestyle there are now more resources available then in the past.

Numerous studies have proven the importance of sexual health and the role it plays for one’s overall health and well-being. With alterative therapists, individuals and couples can voice their concerns openly in hopes to lift and de-dramatize sexual taboos. Within this safe place you as a single or couple can unleash pleasurable energies on levels delightfully unexpected.

For many it takes time to build trust with a new partner or a therapist. In some situations, it is the voice from the outside that provides the solution needed for a certain situation.

As people we judge ourselves due to the sometimes-overwhelming demands from society to perform sexually and be what our partner needs. In that judgement of ourselves we tend to forget our own needs and wants. When finding our own voices, we can find a whole new level of excitement and comfort to experience new sexual adventures. To remove the weight and seriousness of it all can generate a situation more open to express your desires.

One piece of advice someone once told me was to never forget that sex is fun. It is ok to laugh during a sexual escapade as it helps to build a stronger connection.

In closing, we need to all remember that everyone has different taste. Another quote I use often, “Everyone has a different cup of tea”. It is irrelevant what is in their cup, if it is not your flavor, you do not need to worry as you are not the one drinking it.

Let us live each day to the fullest and enjoy the variety of ways different people experience sexual pleasure. Worry about only you and finding your true sexuality and know that if ever you need someone to turn to for advice, you are not alone and there is always someone out there having the same thoughts as you so embrace them.

Coralyn Jewel

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Coralyn Jewel is the author of the #1 International Best-Seller, When the Ice melts: The Story of Coralyn Jewel, an adult performer, retired competitive athlete, porn director, swinger club owner, fitness trainer, wedding planner, talent manager, voice-over actress, lifestyle coach, motivational speaker and podcast host of The Hankie Pankie Podcast. Coralyn Jewel portrays courage, determination and is a perfect example that reiterates to her readers, fans, and listeners, “Don’t Judge a Book by Its Cover”. Join her journey through life as a sex worker in a world where judgment is human nature. Learn from her knowledge and experiences in the Swinger lifestyle world and the adult industry. Follow her coaching, training sessions, speaking engagements, and book signing schedule on as well as her social media and weekly Podcast and blog entries on


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