What is a Cuckquean? How to Cuckquean?

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What is a Cuckquean?

At its most basic, a cuckquean is a female-identifying person in a committed relationship whose partner is having sex outside of their committed partnership – but with her knowledge. While the term cuckquean is generally used within the terms of a heterosexual relationship (as in, the female-identifying cuckquean is committed to a male-identified partner), there’s nothing to stop this from being part of any relationship style – regardless of gender.

There are a lot of reasons that someone may be interested in being a cuckquean within their sexual dynamic.

The most common reason someone becomes a cuckquean is purely due to sexual arousal and an interest in the kink.

Sometimes this arousal comes from humiliation. The cuckquean may feel turned on by being “rejected” by her partner choosing another person. They may feel left out of their partnership, and instead of feeling like a negative experience, those same feelings can trigger feelings of submission.

An interest in cuckqueaning may also come from voyeuristic tendencies. Essentially, the cuckquean gets to watch their partner star in their very own, real-life porn movie – and that can be hot for a lot of people.

A big portion of the arousal of cuckqueaning may also come from the “taboo”. In most modern societies, monogamy is taught as the sole and expected relationship style. When feelings of jealousy and inferiority start to pop up, it can add serious spice and intensity to the relationship – which, for some, can lead to sexual arousal too! Having others see your partner as the sexual being that you do can be jealousy-inducing – but also reignite your passion for your partner as a sexual being as well.

However, being a cuckquean can also be a matter of practicality. For some cuckqueans, they may enter into a consensual dynamic with their partner in order to ensure everyone’s needs are met. While this starts to move more into an “open relationship” relationship style, the cuckquean may encourage an outside sexual partner to ensure her partner’s needs are met when those needs aren’t getting met in the relationship.

Looking for a bit more detail about what a cuckquean is? Quean Mo and a write-in listener on Savage Love can give some insight into the experience (and confusion!) of being a cuckquean.

While “cuckquean” can be used as an empowering term, just like the term “cuckold”, some people outside the relationship may use the term in a derogatory or insulting manner because they disapprove of the cuckquean or the alternative relationship arrangement.

Cuckquean vs Cuckold – What’s the Difference?

Gender! That’s it!

A cuckquean is someone who enjoys the “cuckolding” kink – but identifies as female. (When a cuckquean is involved, some people may call it a “cuckqueaning” kink as opposed to a cuckolding kink.)

On the other hand, a cuckold is someone who enjoys the “cuckolding” kink – but identifies as male.

On both sides, the cuckquean or cuckold is the one who is watching their partner have sex with someone else – regardless of that partner’s gender. Cuckolding and cuckqueaning can happen in all types of relationships including homosexual, gender-neutral, and heterosexual partnerships!

If you’re looking for the most information possible, the term “cuckold” has been around for longer – so I’d recommend using it as the primary term for your searches.

Does Cuckqueaning Fit Into Erotic Humiliation?

While the term “erotic humiliation” may conjure up the mental image of a femdom relationship for many, erotic humiliation doesn’t have a gender. In fact, people of all genders enjoy erotic humiliation, and the desire for erotic humiliation can be at the center of cuckqueaning play.

There are a lot of intense, interpersonal dynamics at play in a cuckqueaning relationship, and part of these dynamics may be a “lesser than” sensation because the cuckquean’s partner is choosing to have sex with someone else instead of them. This is ripe for a whole lot of humiliation – though it doesn’t need to be!

Essentially, like most kinks out there, cuckqueaning can fit neatly into erotic humiliation – or it can be entirely absent from it. It’s all up to the participants!

Especially if you’re reading a definition on what cuckqueaning is, you’re probably not ready to jump right into the world of cuckqueaning – but that’s not a bad thing! Bringing a third person into your relationship comes with a bucketload of new challenges including jealousy, communication issues, STI issues, scheduling issues, and more. Needless to say, as fun as the kink may be, there are usually hours and hours of prep that goes into scheduling sex with multiple people – and the communication time requirements aren’t light either!

Even if you’re a beginner, though, that doesn’t mean you can’t explore the ideas of cuckqueaning – especially if you think you’ve finally found a kink that really appeals to you.

Some easy ways to explore cuckqueaning without bringing a third person into your relationship:

Use Sex Toys: Simply use sex toys to replicate the body of an external partner – then mix in some dirty talk to bring it all to life! A vaginal/oral penis stroker (like a Fleshlight) can easily replicate the genitals of your partner’s “lover” – or you can go deeper into it with a sex doll for cuckqueaning instead. You might consider using extra sex toy accessories (like hands-free sex toy mounts) in order to improve your Fleshlight experience and make things feel more realistic for both of you as well.

Discuss Past Partners: Instead of bringing a new person into the mix, consider discussing past experiences with partners instead. This can still provide the cuckquean with a feeling of “looking in” on the action with their partner without having another person in the mix.

Talk about Fantasies: Most people have a relatively active imagination. This means that you can (quite easily!) discuss cuckqueaning scenarios and use them as dirty talk during sex. Try out these shared, dirty talk fantasies before bringing an actual person into the mix. You might be surprised at some of the positive (and negative!) feelings even sharing a fantasy can bring up!


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