Blindfolds: Seeing the Erotic Possibilities

Usually when the topic of blindfolds comes up, the usual response is, “Oooh! Kinky!”

I don’t necessarily see things that way.

Not being able to see what’s going on really heightens the anticipation of what will happen next. It also forces the blindfolded person to rely on not just trust of their partner, but reliance on the other senses to focus on and pay attention to actions and sensations in sexual play. Not being able to see can really amp up the other senses, especially touch, during sexual play.

Actual blindfolds, especially leather ones, are fun, but ties and scarves work well, too. I like chiffon or light non-silky materials. They tend to hold knots more securely and for longer periods of time.

Fun with Food:

Food can be sexy during blindfold sex, and not just the cliché strawberries and whipped cream. Being fed a meal of bite-sized appetizers can be incredibly erotic. Even pulling out a variety of things you already have in your pantry or fridge can be fun, too. Mix up the flavors and textures – sweet, creamy, crunchy, salty, etc. If anything spills or drips, licking the mess off your lover can lead to lots of unexpected fun and arousal.

Recommended reading: Aphrodisiacs Explained

Go Somewhere New:

Book a B&B or hotel room for a night or a weekend and blindfold your lover when you get into the car. Having sex in an unfamiliar place that your partner can’t see can make for an interesting time – and bonus points if the accommodations are really nice or special.

Recommended reading: Sensual BDSM Preparation

Sensation Play:

Use more than your hands and fingers when playing with your lover’s body and exploring for erogenous zones you or your blindfolded partner may not be aware of. Don’t have a feather? Run the edge of a silk or chiffon scarf along your lover’s body. (If you have several scarves, use them for impromptu bondage gear if you don’t have cuffs or restraints while you’re playing with your blindfolded lover.) Lightly drag a scalp massager along your lover’s skin. Metal objects like letter openers that can be heated or chilled can add an extra edge to the unexpected. If you’re curious about hot wax, I love soy candles. Soy wax melts at a low temperature, about 110 degrees, so it won’t burn the skin, and the melted wax doubles well as a moisturizer that’s great for massage. Buffing mitts used for waxing cars are wonderful. There are lots of things you probably have around the house that can make for some interesting playthings on your blindfolded lover.

Recommended reading: Tickling Fetish—What Is It, and How to Sexually Tickle Your Partner

Timing is Everything:

Take liberties with the tempo and timing of your blindfolded sensation play. When you get your partner on the edge of arousal, slow down or move away for a few moments until he or she starts begging for more.

Being blindfolded can really amp up the sensations of breast and genital touching, oral play, and intercourse. In my opinion, it can really intensify arousal and orgasms when one is left to focus on other senses than sight.

Recommended reading: Nipplegasms: BDSM Breast Play Techniques

Most importantly, make sure that blindfold play is done with the intention of play and not harm. If at any time your partner uses a safe word or says “No” or “Stop,” take the blindfold off.

 

Photo by Kirill Balobanov

This article originally appeared on A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind.


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Bobby Morgan was a prolific and dedicated sex blogger, sexuality advocate and beditor-in-chief at A Good Woman's Dirty Mind (2012-2015), as well as creator of #AdultSexEdMonth (2013-2015). She was well loved and know by the sex-positive educator's community. She died suddenlt in 2015 at the age of 52, leaving a large body of work behind her. Before she died, she made me an Admin of her FB page, and gave me permission to syndicate her articles. So much of her writing still resonates today, so I am making her work available via Sexpert to share with a larger audience. "[My blog] was built on the inspiration of the love affair of a lifetime between me and my lover, Parrot... If only we could teach, bottle, sell or share our secrets of our great sex, romance and relationship, more people would be happier and more fulfilled. Like the way Parrot and I talk with each other, A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind is open, frank, and nakedly explicit in the way it talks about sex and relationships... In short, A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind is all about real sex — and really great sex at that — for real people." Website:  http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com/

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