Are You Autosexual?

Photo by LOGAN WEAVER | @LGNWVR on Unsplash

I often tell my clients who want to learn about self-love and acceptance, that you need to treat yourself as if you are madly in love with you! That includes being kind to yourself, replacing negative self-criticism with positive affirmations and celebrating your accomplishments with rewards. Even taking yourself out on dates is a healthy expression of self-love.

However, some people have taken this a step further by discovering that they are sexually attracted to themselves and prefer Autosexuality rather than having sex with anyone else. There are speculations that it has become more common with the impact of COVID 19 pandemic and social distancing. There is a positive aspect of being Autosexual, such as feeling confident about your self-image and always being there for yourself.

If you are Autosexual, then masturbation in front of a mirror is your most favored form of sexual satisfaction with intense erotic arousal for the way your body looks and feels. Watching your fingers touch your body as you experience orgasmic pleasure that only you can provide is what makes Autosexuality so intensely erotic and addictive.

Your sexual fantasies are either memories of masturbating or you are the star performer and everyone else is watching you masturbate.

It is possible to be in a relationship where one person is Autosexual if the other person is supportive. In fact, encouraging your partner to masturbate with or without you can enrich your partnership and lead to more trust, respect, passion, friendship, and intimate communication, not to mention the best sexual relationship of your life!

The act of stimulating yourself sets off sparks in 80 different regions of the brain and releases feel-good endorphins that cause feelings of physical and mental wellbeing. When you fully harness this power by masturbating in different positions and places, you can encourage the growth of brain cells that can literally make you smarter.

For men, stimulating the prostate with a prostate milking toy and learning how to separate orgasm from ejaculation are powerful tools that strengthen the mind and make for incredible partnered sex that can be mind-blowing! There are step-by-step instructions on prostate play and how to separate orgasm from ejaculation in the Loveology University’s Self Pleasure course but essentially, it’s a practice which requires withholding ejaculation for measured intervals, which heightens pleasure and orgasmic intensity. I have many male clients who highly recommend the experience and report that it has improved their stamina and transformed them into better lovers.

Women have the pleasure of experimenting with different types of orgasm, which is a real brain turn-on. Of course, the clitoris and its 8,000 nerve endings usually steal the spotlight, but women should also have fun exploring their U, A and G spots manually or with sex toys to trigger new sensations and heighten their sexual awareness. A detailed description is available in the Masturbation course at

Masturbation is also great for dealing with sexual anxiety and insecurities often caused by sexual guilt or shame. Taking the time to explore your own pleasure and knowing what turns you on is the key to overcoming these emotional blocks. When you remove the stress of performing for a partner, you invite your brain to consider all the erotic stimulants and your body can surrender to orgasmic bliss.

Masturbation is also an erotic safe sex couple’s activity and is the perfect way to see where and how you both like to be touched. I highly encourage mutual masturbation as it can create more eroticism and intimacy in a relationship that results in more satisfying sex.

Mindful masturbation allows your brain the freedom of expression it requires for regenerating itself and for you to live a fulfilling sexual life, whether you are single or in a relationship and any sexual orientation!


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