Hello luvs! Happy holidays to you and yours.
I am so excited to be wrapping up this year on the topic of dating. Dating has morphed into many things over the last year or so and I am hoping you have been keeping up with the flow. Being “beautiful” isn’t enough anymore. Folks are looking for personalities. They are looking to connect with someone who gets them just as they are.
While there are many, many games being played on the dating field, if you can play your way through the mess, you just might find the person(s) you are looking for. Someone who sees you as you are. Sees your personality and how it gels with theirs. So value your strength and intellect. Let this build confidence in your ability to be seen as wanted. See yourself as the prize. When you know your value, you teach others how to value you. This garners respect and attracts people to you. Learn to love and respect yourself so that you can give freely.
Dating Tips …
Relationships require honesty but I’m suggesting you not be totally transparent. Don’t spill your guts or come out the gate with sorrow and grief. You may turn the person off if they are not equipped to handle what your saying. Be yourself, don’t agree with things you disagree with, just don’t be mean about it. Find the balance of sharing what is appropriate at each stage of the dating process.
Listen, you can help your relationship blossom by giving it space to breathe. Maintain your own life. Make them miss you without neglecting them. Letting them know that you are open to dating them gives foundation for the relationship to grow on. Be sure that all parts are growing at the same time. If there is to be a bond, you will need some healthy separation.
Now remember when I wrote about not playing games when it comes to dating. Understand that I know they are going to be playing some games. It is supposedly the way we are supposed to know if someone likes us or not. How fifth grade of us. Play along if the game is not toxic and does not make you step away from the core of you. Its Okay to let them know that you will not tolerate games. This will age the relationship quickly as this period is avoided. When you take games off the table guessing whether the person “likes” you is off the table. There should be mutual sharing and growth. This will give you the motivation you need to continue dating them.
& The Art of Flirting…
Where you want to spend your time while dating is in the art of flirting. You should never stop flirting with your mate(s). Flirting is an extension of your uniqueness. Whether you need to practice it or not, flirting speaks to your personality. Little things like a light touch during the convo would make them think of you sexually. Flirting is based on attraction between parties, but you can learn to flirt properly and keep an air of excitement in the relationship that develops from dating. Pushing and pulling is one of the most effective ways to flirt. It takes a balance of the two for it to work in your favor. The art of teasing is intentionally ruffling their feathers so they can be affected by what you say. A great balance shows your sense of humor and other personality traits that will create attraction.
Dating is like a dance…
The dating pool is vast. There are a lot of piranhas, but I like to think that there are perfect relationships waiting to develop for those who learn how to date while expressing themselves and their values. Dating is a dance and like dancing it takes practice. You will have a few bites along the way to your perfect situation, however, you need to stay in the pool. Stick to your core and your list of must haves and do the work needed to find your match. Within the conversation be nice and naughty, challenge them and compliment them when needed. Don’t hold back on what feels right because of some outdated thought you have been holding on to.
These thoughts hinder the ability to date successfully. These are called stuck points and these thought patterns can lead to unhealthy dating. Do an emotional check-in with yourself to determine if you can enter the dating pool and once in, can you navigate it to a successful match. Dating works.