Photo by Deon Black on Unsplash

Hey luvs, happy June! I hope it will be just as sexy as May was. I am going to talk about having more pleasurable sex in a threesome. With three bodies, there is so much you can lick, stroke, nibble and spank. Anything to bring each other to orgasm. The problem is, are you providing the best orgasm you can. Do you have tricks in your playbook that will blow their minds? Let me share a few just in case.

Let us start with something that everyone could participate in. Fingering. Regardless of how many bodies are in the space, the opportunity to finger the vulva and vagina and all the anuses in the pile, Fingering will and should come a part of the play. There is something about the pressure and angles of the hand that can bring on some very intense, all-over body orgasms.

How do you know you are doing it right? It is up to your mate. Are they having a mind-blowing orgasm? If not, here are some techniques that can change your game. Foremost, if you are fingering a vagina owner, you absolutely must seek their feedback during the process to orgasm. It is the only way to truly know if you are pleasing and satisfying them. Checking in to be sure that they are not experiencing any discomfort is also needed. Communication is the key ingredient to being the best they ever had.

Here we go, the star of the show and the item most lovers go to first – the clitoris. Tip – do not do it. Do not go right for the clitoris. Get a person aroused first. Arousal coaxes the clitoris out making it easier to stimulate. When it is time, they ask for more, whether it is verbal or oral, take the feedback and explore the clitoris first by rubbing against it. In various directions, beginning with a light touch to medium pressure. Never use heavy pressure unless you are asked to.

It is important to understand the role of the clitoris when it comes to vulva owner orgasm. Sixty-four percent of folks report that they require both clitoral and vagina stimulation to create their orgasm. It is the only part of the ‘female’ anatomy that serves no other purpose than providing pleasure. Studies find that the clitoris is more sensitive than the vagina in terms of pleasure.

There are a bunch of different ways to rub the clit. Use your pointer finger or your pointer and middle finger. You can rub up & down, side-to-side, circular or at angles. It is that simple. However, there are a few important caveats to making sure it is pleasurable. You will always need the lube, otherwise, it will feel more painful than pleasurable for most (damn friction!). Plus, the lube just lets your fingers move more easily across the sensitive skin. It is like when you masturbate without lube versus with lube. If you find yourself without lube, the idea is to lightly press your finger into the vagina first and using their natural lubrication as lube on your fingertip. If you ever feel your finger drying out, then just return to the vagina. This might not provide enough lubrication for some folks so try to always have lube on hand.

As always, the key to truly satisfying them is figuring out what THEY enjoy, not following these instructions blindly, so make sure to get feedback from them, either by listening to their body or by talking to them. Side note, you can incorporate this technique into sex when you are having sex in the doggy style position.

When things get intense and they are riding close to orgasm, you can move to using four fingers. Move over their clit, labia and vaginal opening in a circular motion. As I keep repeating (like a broken record!), make sure to try varying your technique to see what works best whether it is the amount of pressure you use to how big your circles are to how many fingers you use…two or three fingers may feel better than four for her.

You will notice that if there are more vaginas in the mix, they will not respond to the same touch, pressure or wetness. You have to pay attention to the reactions and adjust. If you try to pull off an expert play and finger two vaginas at a time, you have to have the skills to move according to the pleasure of each body. It is not as easy as it sounds. You also have to be in a position where they can let you know if there is any discomfort.

The next part of the vagina that many overlook is the U spot. The U spot is often called the “secret spot,” as so few people seem to know about it. It is the area just above the urethra opening and to the sides of it. Right under the clitoris. This U-shaped space is sensitive to soft touches. Use your fingertips and the pads of your fingers to stimulate the space to create an orgasm that can be felt in the belly and cause major arousal. This is a great foreplay move. From my work, I know that not every vulva owner enjoys a U spot orgasm, if they are not digging it, move on to something else. Do not take it personally and keep the flow going.

I cannot move on without mentioning the clitoral hood and its role in the orgasm. For some individuals, the clitoris is so sensitive that it hurts when touched directly. If this is the case, no matter how softly you go, you will hurt them and will not pleasure them. The fix is to use the small bit of skin that covers the clit like the foreskin covers the head of a penis. This is the clitoral hood. Rub against this hood instead, causing a buffer between your touch and the clitoris. This should make it much more fun for everyone.

Regardless of your genitals, depending on your participations in the threesome, you may very well find yourself having to please You may not know that the clitoris extends into the vagina and has legs (like a wishbone) 4 to 7 inches long. Knowing this helps you add more pleasure to the play. Massage or squeeze the base of the clit by placing your thumb and index finger on either side of it. Gently press down and inwards so that you are “squeezing” the base of the clit between the folds of skin surrounding it. Do not squeeze the tip of the clitoris, this will hurt, be sure you are stimulating the base of the clitoris only.

Start off with very gentle pressure and see how they react. Then increase or decrease the amount of pressure you use based on the feedback. Then it is just a simple case of playing around with the clit between the folds of skin, by rolling it between your index finger and thumb. You can also lightly jerk it up and down. As I keep repeating, the most important thing you can do is do lots of experimentation and get their feedback to see what type of stimulation they enjoy most as you are squeezing and massaging the base of the clitoris.

Every person is different, so the “hot buttons” or favorite ways to be fingered may differ from previous partners you have been with. The only way to find out how they enjoy being fingered by you is to either experiment or to simply ask them. If they are willing, have them guide your hand to stimulate them from the angle that they usually use so you can finger them the way they like best.

However, many vulva owners enjoy being fingered from behind, on the opposite side of the vagina to the G Spot.

As it is the most pleasurable orgasm for most, you need to know about the G-spot. The G-spot is one of the most sensitive spots inside the vagina. The G-spot is located within two to three inches inside the vagina, at the top, right under the pelvic bone. If you slide your fingers in and curve them around the pubic bone, you will be in the right spot. This spot is actually a place where you can access the rest of the clitoris internally. Stay shallow to stay on the space and move slowly and circular with the pads of your fingertips until the arousal begins to show on the body.

Continue with a little more speed and pressure, again watching for the signs to go further. When they are panting and scooting closer to your movement pull your fingers toward you in a come-hither motion as quickly as you can. Their body may be jerking toward you with the movement. If you keep up the appropriate pressure, speed and force going with that space, you will be stimulating the parts of the clitoris inside and the head of the clitoris outside, they are intensely getting pleasure from both directions.

If you finish this article and still have questions about the process of finger play, reach out to me at @shadeyontop


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