Curiosity and 9 other Sexy Secrets

Photo by Ronny Sison
  1.  Communication

Communication is the key ingredient for a consistently successful relationship. Compliments are the bedrock of romance, so give your partner at least one compliment each day. We can communicate compliments by writing a love letter or a compliment on a piece of paper that your partner will find in their car, in their pocket or on their pillow. But my favorite way to communicate compliments is to make a video of yourself telling your partner all the things that you love about them.

2.  Chemistry

Enhance your chemical attraction by finding areas of mutual interest and share desires. If you both like to dance, maybe that’s how you met, make sure you get out and dance once a week.  If you like to hike, make sure you get outdoors. If you like to paint, do it together. Foster the areas of your life where there is good chemistry. What about doing couples Yoga to boost your intimacy and maintain your chemistry. I’m giving away my Sexycises video if you are interested in connecting with your partner, mentally, physically, emotionally and sexually.

3.  Curiosity

One of the most powerful ways to keep a relationship fresh is to treat it with a constant sense of curiosity. Be curious about his or her day. Be curious about new and exciting facets of your partner’s personality and share your turn ons and turn offs. Always be curious about the next step in your relationship as curiosity keeps the juices flowing and the chemistry exciting, so ask, “Tell me something I don’t know about you?” and see what you can learn from your partner’s answer.

4.  Collaboration

View everything that happens in your life with your partner as collaboration so that there is a sense of togetherness even when you’re alone. Make a wish list of the things that you have always wanted to do together such as learning to Tango or Learning about Tantric Sex. Create a Bucket List together and collaborate on which ones you want to prioritize so that you can make plans, whether it’s to travel or remodel your home, this is a great way to work as a team. One of my favorite collaborations for couples is to go on a retreat together where you can boost emotional intimacy. So, if that’s on your bucket list, check out the upcoming events at

5.  Creativity

Try new things out. Take turns being responsible for bringing creativity into all areas of your life. Use your creativity for your date night.  Take turns designing the date night. Instead of doing things that are predictable, explore something new to get your creative juices flowing from writing poetry, painting pictures, sculpturing, cooking, to learning how to strip for each other, playing sexy games, using pleasure products, sex and food or just making out in a new location.

6.  Consideration

Do one thing for each other that is a considerate act, even if that’s making the bed, or clearing the dishes, picking up the kids, running a bubble bath, or giving your partner a foot massage without expecting anything in return. This will open the door to feeling more appreciated and validated, which can enhance your love life.  The best way to be considerate is to put yourself in your partners shoes and better understand their emotional and physical needs.

7.  Contribution

One of the most important aspects of being a couple is a sense of having a mission together. When a couple has the feeling there is a strong sense of moral purpose at the core of their relationship, the couple has more reasons to make the relationship work, and there is much more of a grounded spiritual nature. This is as important in the life of a couple as sexuality. Write a couples Mission Statement that includes your values and goals, then place it in a prominent place so that you can see it every day.

8.  Commitment

Review commitments you have made in your life, especially towards each other. Don’t wait for Valentine’s Day to show your commitment by doing

something romantic. Why not renew your vows now? Share two vows that you and your partner are prepared to keep for the next month, such as giving each other a massage once a week or making love at least twice a week. I suggest writing down your vows and then displaying them somewhere that you will see them every day. I put mine in the bathroom.

9.  Copulation

Practice “conscious copulation” in which the idea is not to have an orgasm, but to enjoy the journey as much as the destination by being 100% present and mindful while you make love. Copulate at different times, in different positions and locations to keep your love life spontaneous and exciting. Incorporate some erotic talk, oral copulation and power play dynamics for added more sizzle to your sex life.

10. Celebration

Couples who have a sense of celebration about their own lives and about their relationship don’t just survive, they thrive.  Celebration is a life attitude, it’s not something you just go and do.  It’s a way to approach life, and as a couple we need more and more opportunities for celebration.  Find ways to celebrate, and you will find more reasons to stay together, and you will see each other in new and exciting ways.

Celebration implies play, a playful nature.  A playful nature in a relationship will keep it fresh, young and exciting.


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