Should I date an older man?

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Why Date an Older Man?

Why would you date someone your age or younger (gross), if you’re in your late 20s? You could have someone wiser, more sophisticated, financially stable… and just as hot? No more broke fuckboys asking you for gas money to get home after they’ve rearranged your insides (minus an orgasm for you, btw). An older man is also more likely better experienced, he can actually find your clit! And he’s probably more willing to fully satisfy you. Keywords being “fully satisfy.” So go for it but be prepared to hear “daddy issue” comments from those around you. Ignore them and take a few tips to steer your budding relationship in the direction you want it to.

Take it slow.

It’s always a good idea to to take your time getting to know someone that you’re freshly dating, but when the man is 10 years or more older than you, I stress this even more. Take your time! Older men usually want to settle down faster than a young guy would, so you want to make sure you aren’t being rushed into something serious.

Accept his baggage.

We all have baggage, it’s true. And when you decide to date or be in a relationship with someone, you are essentially agreeing to carry half of the load. Keep this in mind: the older the man, the bigger the baggage. BUT accepting someone’s baggage does not mean being a doormat or a punching bag.

A common issue in most relationships is a lack of trust. A healthy response would be to accept that trust in a relationship will take time to build, and openly talking about issues in the relationship to establish that trust.

An unhealthy response? Going through each other’s phones. You know where I’m going with this: Drop the the old toxic behaviors and games that fuckboys got you used to, and don’t allow them from your new boo, either!

Be prepared to be in different places in your life.

If there is a significant age gap (we’re talking at least 10 years) you should count on you being in different places in your life. He might be successful in his career and be spending a lot of time at work while you are just beginning your career and working your way up. Or the opposite could easily happen. He could be well established at his job and not have to spend a lot of time working while you prove yourself at your job with long hours. Regardless of the career situation, remember to make time for each other (or you risk drifting away from each other in a new relationship) and to prioritize quality time together.

He might have friends who are closer to his age than yours, who you have a harder time connecting with. Find some common ground with small things, like a Netflix series or a favorite sports team. You can always start the cliche (but tried and true) ice-breaker: asking how they all met. Those stories are usually chock full of juicy “getting to know you” material. You’re welcome.

Or, he might not have many friends at all since our circle of friends gets smaller as we outgrow some and lose others. What if he has a problem with you being social? Don’t let a man isolate you from friends and family, but don’t exclude him either. If he doesn’t want you to go out so much, then encourage him to go with you. Make him feel young again!

One of the great things about dating an older man is that their kids are usually (fingers crossed) adults and less of a hindrance. Don’t freak out (out loud) if he tells you one of his kids is almost your age.

Don’t expect him to be that mature. Studies have shown that men mature at the age of 43, 11 years after women do. Sorry, but you may have to hear fart jokes for a few more years.

Choose wisely

Many older men will hook up with a younger woman so they can have another opportunity to bang a hot, young chick and to brag about it to their greasy, thirsty friends. Don’t allow him to treat you like a trophy. Unless you like that sort of thing!

Have a talk about the future before you get serious, he will appreciate your being forward. And most important of all, have fun and learn from him.

Be aware of the sexual possibilities

Unfortunately, a man’s sexual ability and appetite does wind down over the years. The change is not an obvious one, but once it’s there… listen, as a woman, there are things that are hard for me to explain so I’m going to let Dr. Andrew Siegel take this one! What can I expect of my erections as I age?




Previously published at Should I date an older man? – (

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Ely Torres was born and raised in Chicago, and studied Journalism at NIU. After college, she got swept up in the nightlife industry as a bartender and then as a booking agent, booking all the live music for a local venue. She stayed in the industry for 7 years, and made the transition from booking agent to marketing content writer for a marketing agency that represents independent artists. A couple of years of writing marketing copy gave Ely the itch to write creatively again. Her next role as Editor-in-Chief and Features Contributor for College Underground Magazine allowed her to fall in love with writing again. After a year stint with the magazine, she began guest-posting about dating and relationships for dating advice websites and eventually, for her own dating site,


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