What Sex Acts Do People Find The Most Nerve Wracking?

The latest sex survey has attempted to help figure out how sex can go from nerve wracking to super pleasurable. Called “Intimidating Intimacies, A Look At The Sexual Anxieties of 1,000 people”, the survey’s purpose was to “reduce stress in uncharted sexual activity” and build sexual confidence. The survey revealed some interesting intimate sex secrets; TMI stuff that most heterosexual couples don’t admit.

The survey was conducted by the sex positive people across the pond at Super Drug Online Doctor, the online prescription drug company that sells Viagra and Cialis. Boing! It surveyed 1,000 people about their “physical intimacy habits,” focusing on what sex acts people are most afraid to do. (The ones their partners want them to do the most.)

The study, called “Intimidating Intimacies,” A Look At The Sexual Anxieties of 1,000 people”, was conducted with heterosexual male/female couples, which is interesting, because the #1 “preferred sexual scenario” that men wanted to do was “Anal”. (Only 12.1% of women were into it.)

The #2 and #3 “preferred scenarios” were “69” (68.4% men and 31.6% women), followed by “69% standing”: (74% men and 26.3% women). Ironically, when men and women were asked what sexual scenario they were “least comfortable doing” they said “Standing 69” (56.8% women and 42.7% men) and “Anal” (56.8% women and 30.5% men.) Apparently, what you are most afraid to do also turns you on.

When participants were asked for their “perceived anxiousness of trying each sexual scenario” on a scale of 1-5, with 5 “being extremely anxious” “Public Sex” was #1 with both American women and men answering “3.7%” and both European men and women saying “3.2.” Other sex surveys have revealed that sex in public is a top sexual fantasy. The thought of getting caught ups the excitement.

“BDSM” came in second, with both European and American couples rating it about a “3” on the sexual anxiousness scale. “Anal” was third with American women rating it a “3.5%” in anxiety, American men a “2.7%”, European women a “3.1%”, and European men a “2.7%”. Let’s face it, when anything goes up your poop shoot, and you’re with someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing, its nerve wracking. (All the more reason for more at- home sex ed.) More knowledge = more pleasure.

“Rough Sex” and “Watching Pornography Together” also induced couple anxiety, followed by “dirty talk”, “masturbation,” and “oral.” “Whether you’re nervous about intimacy in general or certain positions and activities that make you feel the most uncomfortable, you’re not alone,” says the drug company. We say take a sex class, read up about the sex act you want to try before you do it, discuss with the person you want to do the sex acts with (beforehand), and then relax, its just sex.


Graphics courtesy of Super Drug Online Doctor.



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Anka Radakovich is a legendary Sex Columnist, Certified Sexologist, Sex Educator, Screenwriter, and Author of the book THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, PART 2, Tales from New York to Hollywood. THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, Part 2 is her third book. Her first two books, The Wild Girls Club; Tales from below the Belt, and Sexplorations; Journeys to the Erogenous Frontier were both published by Crown/Random House. She was the Sex Columnist for DETAILS Magazine for 9 years and currently writes columns for Brides.com and Los Angeles Magazine. Her writing has appeared in dozens of magazines including Marie Claire, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Harper’s Bazaar, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Men's Journal, Seventeen, Glamour, and Maxim. She has appeared on numerous television shows including 8 appearances with Conan O’Brien. She was a Jeopardy question under the category “Men’s Mags.” As a Sex Educator and Sexologist, she is a college lecturer at Universities throughout the country who offers her unique brand of sex education. Follow her on Twitter @ankarad.


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