Mutual Masturbation: Double Your Pleasure!

May Is Masturbation Month!

What is Mutual Masturbation?

Mutual Masturbation is a form of sexual activity where lovers simultaneously touch their lady business and man junk in front of each other for mutual pleasure, arousal and orgasm. The fun activity has an exhibitionist and voyeurism quality, where both partners can perform and watch at the same time, enhancing the erotic quality of their “naughty” act.

Masturbation is often a solo act, so mutual masturbation can be even more erotic when shared with someone you trust. It is self-love shared with your honey. And of course, sharing is caring.

What Are the Positive Aspects of Mutual Masturbation

mutual masturbationMutual masturbation is helpful in enhancing your sexual relationship, because by watching the show, you learn what gets your partner off. It’s also a form of safe sex, so you don’t have to worry about STI’s or unwanted pregnancies. And it’s a great way to explore your sexuality together without engaging in penetrative sex intercourse. It’s “outercourse”.

One of the most popular sexual requests straight men ask of women is “Could I watch you masturbate?” You would think a guy’s number one request would be blow jobs or any form of sticking it in. But no, because men are such heavy masturbators, they want to masturbate to someone masturbating!

But like sex itself, there is an art to mutual masturbation. The idea can be daunting and awkward, or even nerve wracking if you’re with someone new.  Also, where you do it is something to think about too, Loveology University‘s Dr. Ava Cadell says to “Sit on a bed, sofa, bathtub, or on the floor in front of a fireplace”. Good thinking, because the last place you want to do it is down in the basement at your parent’s house over Christmas and they walk in.

As with any new sexual activity you decide to do, discuss beforehand. This avoids awkwardness. In this case it would include questions like “Now are you going to just let me do my thing, or are you going to direct me? Or “I don’t really like that” Or “I really do like that.” You need to know things like this beforehand, so you don’t get turned off. Discuss beforehand if you like being directed or not, if you want to talk during the MM sesh or not. It’s supposed to be fun and something you both want to try!

“But before you start stripping, spend some time breathing in slowly and deeply while looking into each other’s eyes”, says Cadell. “This doesn’t have to be a long, drawn-out step, but it will help you both relax. Then, gradually undress while maintaining as much eye contact as possible; it will help you to stay focused and feel connected. This would be the perfect time to give your partner a sexy compliment detailing what exactly you like about what you see.” As in “You are so freakin’ hot right now I can’t stand it.”

Take it slow and let the sexual tension build up. Groaning is good. It lets the other person know you are enjoying it. Take it slow and let the sexual tension build up. You can also add sex toys to the mix.

Dr. Cadell says “Use the toy and your fingers to fondle yourself gently, and watch your partner as he touches himself in return. Take it slow, and really allow yourself to feel your own touch knowing that your guy is getting more and more aroused with each passing moment.”

Switching positions will also give your partner some eye candy. “Roll over so your partner can view you from a different angle, like doggie style”, she says. “Spread your legs just enough so you can start to penetrate yourself with your fingers or the toy. Ease in and out, rocking your hips so you’re moving side to side as your fingers or the device glides in and out of you. If you entered from the front, eventually switch it up and take yourself from behind. And encourage him to switch positions, too, if that seems sexy to you.”

And when the time comes, you can watch the other person climax, which is part of the fun of “spanking the monkey,” “petting the kitty,” “sayin’ hi to the monster,” and “paddling the pink canoe.”

What to learn more about solo sex? Check out Loveology’s Masturbation Course!

And check out our Month-Long Masturbation Challenge!


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Anka Radakovich is a legendary Sex Columnist, Certified Sexologist, Sex Educator, Screenwriter, and Author of the book THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, PART 2, Tales from New York to Hollywood. THE WILD GIRLS CLUB, Part 2 is her third book. Her first two books, The Wild Girls Club; Tales from below the Belt, and Sexplorations; Journeys to the Erogenous Frontier were both published by Crown/Random House. She was the Sex Columnist for DETAILS Magazine for 9 years and currently writes columns for and Los Angeles Magazine. Her writing has appeared in dozens of magazines including Marie Claire, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Harper’s Bazaar, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Men's Journal, Seventeen, Glamour, and Maxim. She has appeared on numerous television shows including 8 appearances with Conan O’Brien. She was a Jeopardy question under the category “Men’s Mags.” As a Sex Educator and Sexologist, she is a college lecturer at Universities throughout the country who offers her unique brand of sex education. Follow her on Twitter @ankarad.


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