Misgendered: Not Complimented

This butterfly is gender fluid and called gynandromorphs which are the organisms showing both female and male characteristics. The term is derived from the Greek words (gyne = woman; aner = man and morphe = form).

Gender Fluidity

It has taken me time to discover my gender fluid identity. Gender fluid is defined as denoting or relating to a person who does not identify themselves as having a fixed gender. There is a mix or fluctuation of genders. At times someone who identifies as gender fluid may feel more one gender than another.

I definitely feel and express my fluidity. Being a drag queen I am able to explore and cross the lines of gender. During my self exploration I have found that she/her pronouns are more comfortable, although I do use he/him pronouns when I am out of drag.

Figures merge female to male

Misgendering Someone is NOT Okay

I write this now because I just want to make it known what is not complementary and that it is not okay to misgender someone.

Compliments or remarks such as:

  • You have a nice ass for a guy.
  • Crossdressing men like you mess me up in a good way.
  • Using masculine identifiers such as bro, guys, or dude when I’m in drag.
  • You look good for a guy.
  • I’m not gay but you look so hot dressed up.
  • When are you transitioning?
  • You’re young, things change.
  • I’m not gay, but tgirls with cocks turn me on.
  • Try hiding your Adam’s apple.
  • Stop tricking people that you’re a woman.
  • I don’t care what you are. You have a dick. You’re a man.
  • You only dress to attract men.

I’m sure there is more I can add to the list but those are common compliments/ignorant remarks from people.

I am Often Misgendered

I am often misgendered for being a man that plays dress up or as a trans woman.

I do not care for any masculine references when I am in drag. To me, it is insulting. It often has the connotation that I am obviously not a woman, and that my femininity is not valid. Not that I am a woman, but people do not respect my feminine appearance.

I also still do not understand why everyone who is not homosexual uses the word gay negatively. I am not gay but, or ew that’s gay.

One you do not have to be homosexual to be complementary of someone who is of the same sex as you. Two it’s not a bad thing to be homosexual. It’s not gross. I dislike when people have to justify their heterosexuality by beginning a thought with, I’m not gay but…

I do understand the confusion at times when people think I am a trans woman. But one thing we should not do is assume. I have no interest in transitioning. I am not a tgirl.

I understand that I am young but my youth is not defining that I will change overnight in regards to my gender identity. Turning 24 years young today, I am certain. It is not okay to tell someone that, oh you will change or make assumptions about a future change. Just in general, do not make assumptions about anyone.

Lastly, I want to make it known that I do not do drag to trick men into thinking I am a woman nor to please men’s misogynistic beliefs that femininity and presenting feminine beauty is for men.

I do drag for me.

It makes me feel good. I am able to express myself with my drag and through drag is where I ultimately discovered my gender fluid identity. I fully know I have an Adam’s apple. I know that I expose my “man chest” and pad my hips at the same time. I do it because it makes me feel good.

Do not flatter yourselves boys. The age where feminine beauty is used for your sole pleasure and enjoyment is over.

My purpose in writing this is to make it a little clearer about my gender identity. I take this opportunity not to rant or tell people what they are doing wrong. I want this to be educational. Not enough conversation happens in regard to gender identity.

Just know, I am gender fluid. I use she/her pronouns primarily but am okay with he/him pronouns when I am out of drag. Masculine references to my drag are not complementary. Do not assume and misgender me for being male, trans nor female. I am fluid, I fluctuate.

Remember, one individual can not be representative of a whole. Just because I identify as gender fluid does not mean someone else who identifies as gender fluid is the same as me.


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