My guest this week is an author for various journals and online sites, but she is also an author of over 30 erotic books focusing on the feminist point of view. As talented as she is, she still cannot come clean to her family and coworkers of the other type of work she writes. I ask myself, why we still have to hide, and or be ashamed of what we do for a living if we are not harming anyone else.
This seems to be an ongoing issue in today’s world. A webcam performer fears others discovering what she or he does to bring in extra income. A content creator for an online platform still tries to hide this side of their lives for fear of judgment. An adult performer is only comfortable releasing their work on some platforms, but not others. When are we as a society going to accept the fact that everyone has sex, sexual needs, desires, and fantasies and why should we be ashamed of it?
Erotic writing or keeping a diary is one way a person can express this sexual side of them by hiding behind pen and paper. The question remains, are they hiding, or is this the only outlet they have where they can truly be who they want to be, without others knowing who they truly are. Does this make sense?
As a webcam performer, podcast hostess, Lifestyle coach, online chat agent, and custom video creator among many other realms of the Adult Industry, I hear and experience various conversations daily, where the person I am interacting with feels ashamed to share their secret, desire, curiosity or fantasy. Too many times, I am asked if I think there is something wrong with them and will they be punished for having these thoughts? Should they forget these sexual urges and sweep them under the rug?
We think that in today’s society, we have had made progress with acceptance to alternative lifestyles, careers, and relationships, however, I think we have reverted backward. Yes, we now have the technology for more people to realize they are not alone and there are means to reach out for guidance and assistance, but our society on a whole still frowns upon sex and the sex industry.
I, for one, am way too familiar with this. Social media, in my opinion, is the biggest problem with us going backward on any potential progress. I run a sex-positive podcast about acceptance and non-judgment. If I invite my followers to listen and learn from others willing to share their stories on my sex-positive podcast, I am banned from that social media outlet for the words “sex-positive”.
Could this actually be true? How about merely sharing about a CBD personal lubricant website where a listener might be able to read and see if this type of lube could assist them with any issues they might be experiencing during sex.
Dare I mention the words, Only Fans? For many adult performers, the pure mention of the words Only Fans is a potential risk for losing their online profile and following they worked so hard to obtain.
I know firsthand, of many who have a profile set up on this very same platform, but they are MMA fighters, wrestlers, musicians, athletes, or mainstream actors, not related to the Sex Industry, so therefore it is ok for them to market their page?
We are moving further away from any progress and this is going to be a detriment to our society and the future of our children. We are supposed to promote sex education, body positivity, accepting others regardless of their race, religion, nationality, sexual preference, or relationship style, or are we?
If we cannot even use the words sex-positive on an online social media platform, or admit to our family members or coworkers that we write for an online erotic column, then I ask you to make your choice and decide are we going to fight this battle together, or are we going to sit back and watch as we revert the opposite direction on our progress towards acceptance and sexual freedom.
Till next time,