How to Find the G-Spot for Real

Photo by Cliff Booth from Pexels

Why, oh why is the G-spot still called a mystery? Why do some medical experts doubt its existence?

Believe me, it’s there. At least it’s been there almost every time I’ve had sex or masturbated. It’s a part of the female anatomy that’s not taught in sex ed or anatomy classes because it serves no reproductive or “moral” purpose. Heaven forbid that the concept of sexual pleasure should be taught in high school or pre-med classes in college.

What is the G-spot?

The G-spot is a slightly spongy spot located on top of the vagina, about 2 inches from the opening. For those of you who have tried finding it with your fingers and had no luck, it helps to be sexually stimulated. The G-spot, like many other parts of your genitals and body, swells from the rush of blood that rises to the top of the tissue when you’re aroused. And, of course, don’t forget the lube. Even if you lubricate naturally, a little extra will make G-spot exploration and stimulation much more pleasurable and intense.

How to Reach It?

Unless you have long arms, hand or fingers or don’t have a lot of flexibility in your wrist, it can be difficult for a woman to find her own G-spot. When you find it, the trick is to rub on it with the pads of your fingertips. When you find it, you’ll feel a bit of resistance or pleasure.

Believe it or not, some women don’t like G-spot play. Applying pressure to the G-spot whether with fingers, a sex toy or a penis can feel uncomfortable. Don’t sweat it. That kind of reaction is the same as being pinched or tickled. Some people like it and others don’t.

Even if you don’t like having fingers or a penis pressing on the G-spot, you may like what a vibrator does to it. It’s a totally different experience. It can have the same kind of over-the-top intensity as using a vibrator on the clitoris or the labia majora or labia minora. It’s all about the vibration and all of those sensitive nerve endings that come up to the surface of the G-spot when you’re aroused. To get the most of your vibratorial G-spot play, use a bullet vibrator or a G-spot vibrator.

For the Guys

Now guys, you have no excuse for NOT finding the G-spot with your fingers. It’s easier for you than it is for her to find and reach for it. After you’ve properly gotten her aroused and wet or lubricated, insert one or two lubricated fingers inside her vagina. Don’t go straight in or deep. Curve your fingers upward about 2 inches in and massage it with the pads of your fingers. It will feel spongier and not as ridgy and rigid as the rest of her vagina. Chances are that you’ll hear a distinct change in her breathing and in the sound of her moans. If she can handle firm, fast and intense back and forth massaging, she may get some world-class orgasms. She may even ejaculate.

Best Positions for G-spot Sex

There are a few positions that are great for penetrative G-spot sex. Cowgirl (woman on top) is excellent. It allows her control the positioning the head of the penis to hit her G-spot. The trick of his position for the woman is to lean slightly forward and place her hands on his chest for support. However, body size – his and hers – can affect how well and comfortable this position can be. It also helps if a woman has strong quadriceps, the group of muscles on the front upper thighs.

The other position is for the woman to lie on her back and elevate her butt on a pillow so her vagina is angled upward. It helps if a woman can lift her legs up, wrap them around his back, or lift them onto his shoulders. The man should elevate his upper body with his hand on the mattress. The position, however, requires a lot of upper body strength for a man. An alternative is for the man to remain upright on his knees while penetrating his partner.

You may have to improvise to get the positioning right. It depends on the length and curve of a man’s penis and the length, size and position of a woman’s G-spot. Variances in body height, size and physical ability are factors too. Don’t sweat it if you have to do switch positions, do some experimentation, or if it takes several attempts to get it right. Every man’s penis is a different length and curvature. Every woman’s vagina is sized differently, G-spots have their own unique locations, and levels of arousal or even the phase of her menstrual cycle can affect can affect G-spot stimulation and pleasure. Body size and height are also factors in finding the position that’s just right.

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Bobby Morgan was a prolific and dedicated sex blogger, sexuality advocate and beditor-in-chief at A Good Woman's Dirty Mind (2012-2015), as well as creator of #AdultSexEdMonth (2013-2015). She was well loved and know by the sex-positive educator's community. She died suddenlt in 2015 at the age of 52, leaving a large body of work behind her. Before she died, she made me an Admin of her FB page, and gave me permission to syndicate her articles. So much of her writing still resonates today, so I am making her work available via Sexpert to share with a larger audience. "[My blog] was built on the inspiration of the love affair of a lifetime between me and my lover, Parrot... If only we could teach, bottle, sell or share our secrets of our great sex, romance and relationship, more people would be happier and more fulfilled. Like the way Parrot and I talk with each other, A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind is open, frank, and nakedly explicit in the way it talks about sex and relationships... In short, A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind is all about real sex — and really great sex at that — for real people." Website:


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